topic: skin tags

discuss

If that means tatoos, I'm wondering if anyone has ever had their asshole done.
I'll take that call...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skin_tags

Well, I guess that I wonder if anyone has ever had a skin tag frozen off their asshole.
I'll take that call as well...
AND, still waiting to hear from anyone who has their asshole tatooed...

I've seen a porn star with a bleached asshole... does that count?

Well, not really. I think we're looking for the woman who can take not only a dick, but a needle in the ass.

By the way, after we have exhausted the topic at hand, somebody else is free to introduce a new one.

But isn't there oh, so much more to say about skin tags first?

I'll take the call from the Son of Satan out there who may be walking around with skin tags that form the symbol "666".
Or, give us a call if your skin tags form the words "Osama Bin Laden is holed up in a secluded grotto in Redondo Beach"

Maybe the next topic should be "taking calls"?

Final verdict on skin tags: They're good in small doses?

Pickup trucks vs cars, what do you prefer?

I prefer trucks, except for parking...which is why I drive an SUV.

BTW, I think skin tags are gross. If I had one I would get it removed immediately.

Cars vs. Trucks? That's neutral territory for me.

Farts. Disgusting, or naturally beautiful?

Good topic, E. When other people fart - it's disgustingly hilarious. When I fart, it's poetic.

Cars vs. Trucks? That's neutral territory for me.

Farts. Disgusting, or naturally beautiful?

depends on the smell. If it's not that bad it's funny. if it reeks, it's gross.

new topic: oriental health spas

What really happens there?

Is there always a "happy ending"?

What do guys end up spending there?

How can they get away with calling it a "health spa"? (let alone "oriental")

I get headaches called cluster headaches.
Which makes migraines look like a disney movie.

It feel like someone is sticking a red hot poker in my eye that not only burns, but freezes at the same time. And it's a constant pain that is so overbearing it makes my body think that it's ill so I get a fever on top of it and sometimes vomit.

I spend a lot of time crawling on the floor or burying my head into a pillow like a mental patient. If the pain never subsided I would kill myself after a day.


I'm not some puss with a low pain tolerance either, had a fingernail ripped out and it doesn't even compare to this.

My wife got the People Magazine the other day (best and worst of the year) and she showed me a picture of David Arquette's sister (not Patricia, the one on Medium)...and she looks like a tranny.

Haha, as I am typing this and looking for a picture of her online, I just read she is a trans gender:

http://www.katherinefugate.com/kathworld/xena/pasadena/Alexis-1.jpg

http://entimg.msn.com/i/150/Movies/Actors/aceleb0208049_150x200.jpg

BTW, he/she was George in the Wedding Singer

I feel like garage doors should be faster. I have things to do, and I don't want to waste my day waiting for the damn garage door to go up.

http://entimg.msn.com/i/150/Movies/Actors/aceleb0208049_150x200.jpg

BTW, he/she was George in the Wedding Singer

He/she also plays PF for the Indiana Pacers.....

http://kfba.net/etc/playerpics/191.jpg

Bubbles: If you use a CRT monitor at home or work make sure it is not at 60hz (80hz is good). I missed about 20 hours of work a week with the same type of headache for a month before I realized thats how their monitors were set.

WTFChris: That is very scary, thankfully it does not look like Patricia cuz that could ruin things for me.

Motown: I totally agree. Maybe we need Tim Allen to look at our garages.


LOL Matt!!!

next topic: why haven't any of you been to oriental health spas so I can get my questions answered?

next topic: why haven't any of you been to oriental health spas so I can get my questions answered?

Are you implying that one of us should go get a happy ending right now? Will you be funding this adventure? There is a oriental health spa in my town which is kind of ghetto so Im sure I can find out for you, just not on my dime.

[smilie=master_emot:

If that's what floats your boat, why not go to Windsor where it's legal, rather than an oriental health spa where some cop or nutjob activist is recording your license plate? Or would you prefer oriental mama-san videotaping your privates with hidden camera, waiting to blackmail you at some inconvenient later date?

LOL, I'm not looking to go (seriously), I'm just curious about what really happens there and what guys are willing to spend on it.

I should have figured that nobody would say "yeah, I go all the time".

Sounds like you've looked into it though Mxy, maybe a bad experience there?

Cruscott has had an Asian whore before, but in her homeland.

Is there ANYTHING better than a good dump? Especially when it hits you while you are stuck in traffic, and you race home, get through the door, grab the paper, and sit down with just enough time to get to the sports section.

Zip: Yes


Sounds like you've looked into it though Mxy, maybe a bad experience there?
My paranoia about the sex trade comes from a incident that happened a long time ago. Churchgoers wanted to put an XXX bookstore in their neighborhood out of business. Their approach was to have someone visibly scrawl license plate numbers on a clipboard, spooking the clientele away. I was too young to go into the bookstore, but old enough for it to make an impression on me. Besides blackmail paranoia, the illegal sex businesses scare the shit out of me from a disease perspective. I have a nightmare of going to such places and my dick falling off. Oh, and I also have nightmares of a 400 lb. crazy bitch knocking on my window late at night while stopped at a light on Woodward, screaming "YOU WANNA DATE ME -- I GOT RUBBERS!!".

Having said that, I've actually gotten a massage from an oriental place that was the second best non-sexual massage I've ever had. Back when I had a job that involved a lot more travel, kinking my big body into an airline coach seat led me to go for a massage every so often. The next time I was in the area again a few months later, instead of the older woman walking on my back and giving me a great massage, I got some anorexic ~20 year old doing some feather touch bullshit. I was ready to try and get someone to give me a real damn massage up to that point. She interpreted my being pissed off at her massage technique as my wanting a happy ending, and she was more than happy to provide one if I gave her more money. I bolted.

I'm watching the Sugar Bowl and wishing Howie Long and Terry Bradshaw were the color commentators for EVERY game from now until eternity.
I'm also thinking that I hate Notre Dame's Leprechaun. He reminds me of a rabid sea monkey.
If I EVER see that guy in person, I'm gonna kick him in the junk.

Topic: How often do you clean your ears with a QTip[smilie=punks.gif]?

I do it everyday and when that fact came up amongst friends recently, I got the feeling that most thought that was a bit too much.

Nah - I try and do it every morning. Sometimes I forget and skip a day. I don't want any ear junk sitting in there for people to gawk at.

Topic: How often do you clean your ears with a QTip[smilie=punks.gif]?

I do it everyday and when that fact came up amongst friends recently, I got the feeling that most thought that was a bit too much.

every day after my shower. I notice it if I don't (ear's itch somethimes).

Every day, two for each ear.

I do it when it feels necessary. Couple times a week maybe? Usually after a shower.

Once a month.

Once a month.

Do you derive more satisfaction when you get a lot wax back on the dirty QTip?

If I asked you this question in person, could you even hear me?

Yes, Yes.

I've never seen wax outside my ear, and never notice any audible difference when I do use one, but my wife has them out on the bath counter so every so often I'll do it for fun.

My wax is always a brownish orange though. Most say yellow. Is this maybe from age?

Nah, mine is brownish orange too. No worries.

Once a week or so.

I like the question about getting alot of satisfaction when you get alot of wax on the Q-tip. It's kind of like digging up your nose while driving and pulling out something the size of a bowling ball. Now THAT'S satisfaction!
It sounds as if everyone is ignoring the advice of the last quarter century about using Q-tips. Apparently, you push more material INTO your ear, and that ends up being a bad thing. Drops into the ear are the way to go.

So, if I'm Justin Timberlake, I'm gonna waste a couple of productive "I Can Boff Any Woman in the World" years on Cameron Diaz?
I've never understood why this skank is regarded as anything other than, well, a skank.

Watching Charlie's Angels reminded me of just how much I'd do Lucy Liu (and Drew Barrymore to a lesser extent) over Cameron Diaz.

Watching Charlie's Angels reminded me of just how much I'd do Drew Barrymore

vomit.

I was just trying to give mild props to someone who wasn't hyper-skinny (a personal turn-off). Lucy Liu is much hotter to me than Diaz + Barrymore put together, and continues to get hotter with age somehow.

I do agree with you there, Lucy Liu is very attractive.

I've got an idea, and I'm just gonna throw it out there.
There are fantasy leagues for everything (Well, everything except the Fantasy Professional Bowlers Asociation), and I'd like to throw my ring in the hat as the Creator of:
The Fantasy Television Series League!
Here's how it works:
Each guy gets a team, and he can name it. For instance, Dr Tre could name his TV series fantasy team, "As The Sparty Turns".
Next, you have a draft. You get, say, two male leads and two female leads. Maybe one serious show, and one comedy show.
Then you get supporting stars, say three of each sex. And if you so choose, maybe one kid performer.
And, you get a series of "extras"-- two or three that don't get lines, they just stand in the background and look concerned, or laugh at the bad humor, or maybe there is the One Black Person who shows up in the shows parties or weddings or funerals. You get the picture. Sort of the "Nurse Kelley", the girl from MASH who was an extra for all 11 years, and spoke only one or two lines the whole time. I think somewhere in season 8 she said to Hawkeye: "OK, right away". You get the picture.
Now, for the scoring format:
Points for spoken lines. For instance, if you got a comedy actor, how many, and how funny were his lines. Same thing for the woman and the supporters, and so on. If you have a serious show, then how many times did your character say something like, "Oh Michelle, I haven't loved you for five years", or "Steve, I'm boning the paperboy and his three best friends, can you go bowling tonight?"
Now, the issue is: Who does the scoring. Well, we'd need a central committee, guys who judge the shows, watch them, and tabulate the scores.
Other scoring factors: Provide a list of 5 people you might think will show up as a "Special Guest" on ANY show. For instance, Roger Federer might show up on "Scrubs" with a tennis racket stuck up his ass, and the docotrs have to get it out, and do it so he doesn't have to play Wimbledon with a colostomy bag.
Other scoring factors are: If your male star bones someone during the show, or gets a blow job, or if your female star does a hot lesbo scene.
Well, there it is. It's an idea whose time has come. I leave it to you guys to fashion up some more refined rules and regulations, but this is one HOT idea, and could probably be turned into some sort of board game.

^you're going to scare people away with stuff like that.

Valentines Day is coming, and I'm already being bombed with roses commercials.
Valentines Day? Didn't we just have Christmas?
This year my present will be that I actually CALL my wife to tell her I'll be home at 4 in the morning completely sloshed.

topic: having sex unshowered, her and/or you

If your partner hasn't showered during the past 24 hours, is that a deal breaker? How about if she has, but you haven't?

If I haven't showered, it's still "ago". She needs to shower due to the delicate nature of where they want us to put our mouth.
Glenn, you make a good point though. It reminds me of the old joke:
Q: How long does it take a woman to have an orgasm?
A: Who cares.

She needs to shower due to the delicate nature of where they want us to put our mouth.

Basically what I was going to say. Below waist means less than a couple hours, or since she got home from work. Aside from that I guess I dont care much since we shower regularly and never go showerless long enough to become an issue. If its been too long for either party, just hit it doggy and dont touch much lol

I'm a big Social D fan, and this sux.

Shades of Erik Andolsek.

http://www.napavalleyregister.com/articles/2007/01/25/news/national/doc45b8b6ef04a08086743183.txt

http://www.chartattack.com/pics/2007/01/24-brentliles.jpg


Former Social Distortion guitarist killed by big rig

Thursday, January 25, 2007

PLACENTIA — A former bassist for the punk rock group Social Distortion was struck and killed by a big rig while riding a bicycle, authorities said.

Brent Liles, 43, of Fullerton died Jan. 18 as he entered a crosswalk on his bike, said Jennifer Hink of the California Highway Patrol. The truck’s driver, Javier Lopez, turned onto an onramp and accelerated, striking Liles, authorities said Wednesday.

“He was not accelerating to hit the bicyclist, he was accelerating to get to the onramp,” said Hink, who confirmed Liles played for Social Distortion.

Lopez, 35, of Rancho Cucamonga, was not cited, but the crash is still being investigated.

Liles joined Social Distortion in 1981 and played bass on the band’s groundbreaking “Mommy’s Little Monster” recording two years later. The album brought the group widespread acclaim and helped establish Social Distortion as one of the top punk rock acts in the nation.

But Liles and drummer Derek O’Brien quit the band during a New Year’s Eve performance in 1983 because they were fed up with the group’s internal turmoil.

Liles went on to play with other punk groups such as Agent Orange.

“Brent was a fun-loving guy who approached his bass playing with a lot of enthusiasm and that made him a lot of fun to be around,” said Frank Agnew, a fellow musician and friend.

Just picked a winner and now I've got a gusher in my right nostril.

There is blood.

Thankfully, it's the end of the day, so I think I might slip out the door for the day.

^do less blow.

That might be the first time that you've recommended fewer drugs.

I hope that is not maturity or personal growth creeping in there.

(Says the guy that just picked himself into a bloody nose).

Hey, nature has a way of telling you that you have a problem. Anytime I don't shit for a week I take some time off smack, but I switch it up to crank or pills. I'm not advocating fewer narcotics, but you may want to play a shell game with your biology.

Zip, what kind of drugs do you take? There is no way that a real human being is like this. I know some fucked up people that "like to have fun" or "like to make jokes" but seriously does anything relevant ever come out of your mouth? Is there anyway you can post less or maybe make your own thread in which people can choose to not even attempt to read it? Thanks!

FillyCheeseSteak:
None.
Sure there is.
Quite often, but define "relevant", and not as it applies to the box you put yourself in to think from.
No.
You're welcome!

I didnt poop almost all of last week. I was kind of concerned but I just didnt have to go. Then I ate a HUGE steak for dinner, and all was good the next day. I think I heard the choir when my butt told me it was time to drop a deuce.

Oh yeah, sorry bout the nose bleed Glenn. Must have actually found your brain ;)

Zip, what kind of drugs do you take? There is no way that a real human being is like this. I know some fucked up people that "like to have fun" or "like to make jokes" but seriously does anything relevant ever come out of your mouth? Is there anyway you can post less or maybe make your own thread in which people can choose to not even attempt to read it? Thanks!

I think we get this same post about once a week.

Zip Goshboots is an acquired taste, a way of life, if you will.

I often find myself wondering, "WWZGD?"

I can't really expand on this other than to add that the Goshboots experience is kinda like finding out that your best bud, the guy that you've been tight with for 20 years, is secretly gay and has been in love with you since junior high.

Also, try this control panel > options > Buddy / Ignore Lists.

Ignore lists are for cowards. If you're gonna be on a forum, then be ON THE FUCKING FORUM.
You think you got something to say? Well, so does someone else.
Read 'em, answer 'em, or don't, or get the fuck out.
Glenn, you're right: I've always loved you.
One more thing: There's a committee of Zip Goshboots. It's not one person.
No one person can be this funny, this intelligent, this irreverent, this charming, this much a philospher, this eclectic, and this irritating.
Kind of like a Shakespeare thing. Did he, or didn't he? Who is he?
He is everyone, he is no one.
Whatever you do, don't try to match wits with us.

I was only suggesting that he add you to his buddy list.

And about the man love, I don't even want to think about WWZGD now.

Creepy.

You're the one with an avatar of David Letterman.
WE should be on everyone's buddy list.

Not sure where we go from here.

Let me correct one thing I said:
When I said "We" should be on everyone's buddy list, I meant Zip Goshboots.
NOT Zip and Glenn.
I am hereby declaring that although I admitted to loving Glenn, he and I as of yet have no plans to engage in what would amount to a "long distance relationship" (not that there's anything wrong with that), and as such, we should not be on anyone's buddy list together (not that there's anything wrong with that).
To further discredit any internet rumors concerning glenn and I: To the best of my knowledge, we have never dated either, not even in my younger, crazy days, which, to the best of my knowledge, I can neither confirm nor deny actually occurred (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Don't you hate getting called in the middle of the night for help on an alleged emergency, then getting put on fucking hold for half an hour?

I'm moving to Colorado soon, but I'll still be rooting for Michigan, CMU and the Detroit teams (though I'll watch the Broncos because they are easier to stomache anyway). Not really much warmer, but they do get 300+ days of sun out there.

WTF Chris:
I lived in Denver from 1991-1994. OH MY GOD. That's all I can say.
Take just enough shit to get there, try to go out there completely single, sit back, and enjoy.

WTF Chris:
I lived in Denver from 1991-1994. OH MY GOD. That's all I can say.
Take just enough shit to get there, try to go out there completely single, sit back, and enjoy.

Could you elaborate?

I am married, no kids, and we don't have a lot of stuff. My in-laws have a trailer big enough to haul evertything I think. it will be a long drive, but oh well. I drove straight to Daytona Beach before so I am used to the long drive (though admittingly not thru the boring plains).

Denver is sweet though. A very nice functional down town. Mountains to ski in. Brand new houses 1,000 sq ft bigger than here (same price though). The snow melts almost daily (it was 0 degrees there Sunday and 50 degrees yesterday according to my in laws).

I split this stuff off from the football recruiting thread so Jethro's head wouldn't explode.

We don't want that.

I split this stuff off from the football recruiting thread so Jethro's head wouldn't explode.

We don't want that.

We don't? I don't know who Jethro is but watching someone's head explode sound kind of cool

denver was kinda wack. colorado is a nice state but i hated denver.

somebody needs to change the name of thsi thread to Tayshaun Is Blossoming At The Right Time.

You know what I hate? Naked dudes in the locker room. There are towels available, yet they continue to parade around freeballin' it. And I could handle that if it weren't for the fact that they will then bend over when they're right next to you. I happened to be sitting on the bench, lacing my shoes when I noticed there was an asshole 2 feet from my head. WHERE DO THESE MUTHERFUCKERS GET OFF THINKING THAT THEY CAN DO THAT????



(Maybe I should make this post in the John Ameichi thread.)

MoTown, you've hit upon one of my all time pet peeves.
How about the dudes that gota go naked into the steam room?
Don't forget not just having a sphincter in yer eye, how about the dude who enjoys parading his "Coney Island Special" around by talking to you with one knee on the bench while his dong drags on the floor?
I'm all, "Dude, I know it's gigantic, but you're like, bald, sixty, and you weight 1200 pounds! What good does it do ya?"

THANK YOU!!!! I'm not really a sphincter fan when it comes to my girlfriend, so why in the FUCK would I want to see "locker room guy's" rectum?

On a related subject, what about the dudes that use the blowdryer to dry their pubes and even asspubes?

Yeah, there's a guy at my gym who must be about 6'8. Nothing beats watching him turn around, place his ass in front of the blow dryer, and reach behind to pull his ass cheeks apart to dry out his large intestine.

Related reading: http://www.wtfdetroit.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6527&highlight=peeves

Yeah, there's a guy at my gym who must be about 6'8. Nothing beats watching him turn around, place his ass in front of the blow dryer, and reach behind to pull his ass cheeks apart to dry out his large intestine.

remind me to never visit this thread again.

Chris:
Don't visit this thread ever again.
Zip

You know what I hate? Naked dudes in the locker room. There are towels available, yet they continue to parade around freeballin' it.
At first I was gonna suggest Dick In A Box...


And I could handle that if it weren't for the fact that they will then bend over when they're right next to you. I happened to be sitting on the bench, lacing my shoes when I noticed there was an asshole 2 feet from my head.
...but then I realize that this is a holey different kind of issue.

I stay away from folks who don't respect my personal space, clothed or not, just as a general rule. Sounds like you need to do the same.

Pierced penises. Discuss.

No pics please.

Pierced penises. Discuss.


Related discussion: http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8507

I refuse to discuss something that makes me flinch at the thought of it.

Anna Nicole Smith. Discuss.











Just kidding! Topic: What will be the successor of natural gas?

Unnatural solids.

How about "piercing penises"? A little rewording can either reinforce the topic or introduce a new one.

If piercing penises is gonna be the next new source of power after natural gas, count me out!

In certain instances, piercing penises have been known to release some pent up natural gas deposits.
You may want to consult John Amaechi on that one.

What I'm trying to understand is who wakes up one morning and says "Hey, I've got a GREAT idea! Today I think I will drive a metal spike right through the shaft of my penis. That sounds totally awesome!"

Pierced penises. Discuss.


Related discussion: http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8507

My post was either:

A) not funny
B) too clever
C) neither
D) both

My post was either:

A) not funny
B) too clever
C) neither
D) both


Yup!

I think the word "vintage" is becoming very overused.

On that note, I think people thinking phrases and words are becoming cliche is becoming cliche.

No one ever says "literally" when they mean literally any more. They mean figurativley, which is the exact opposite.

That new KFC Big Box thing is interesting.

Why do people wait until they're ten minutes into some boring story before they say, "To make a long story short..."
And by the way, when you hear that phrase, it means ten more agonizing minutes of listening to the most boring person in the histroy of the world...

There are three things I will find funny every time, without fail:
1) The Three Stooges (Moe, Larry, and Curly. A little Shemp, but only because Moe was more abusive of him. The rest sucked)
2) Farts
3) Burps

The best thing about big titties is how they bounce durring sex.

That new KFC Big Box thing is interesting.

I would use the word disturbing myself. In fact, all the recent fast food ads I have seen are for huge portions of food.

Double fillet of fish sandwhich, the Big Box, etc.

No wonder this is the fattest country. If people didn't eat so much then a normal wopper and large fry would fill them up. But no, they have to eat so much that they need a triple wopper to feel full. Rediculous.

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing I like more than going to a bar-b-q and eating a couple hot dogs and a couple hambergers while drinking beer. But I don't eat that much every day, which some people do. You can see evidence of that when you see that 7 year old kid that is 400 pounds and can't even walk anymore.

Nice Chris. Glenn is feeling bad so you call him fat. Why not disrespect the mexican he has cleaning his house while he's down?

she's from Spain, not mexico. I can't believe you'd say something insensitive like that.


Lol

Flip Saunders is no longer available on credit.

The KFC Big Box thing isn't as outrageous as some of the other stuff out there (like that burger that BK has that has like 4 patties on it).

It's 1 crispy strip, some popcorn chicken, a drumstick, potatoes, a biscuit and cole slaw.

I think it's more about variety than quantity. In fact, it's proper name is the "Variety Big Box".

http://www.kfc.com/bigbox/

This shit is getting to be like the Gillette-Schick wars. I think Shick just came out with a new 57 blade razor that can actually extract beard hair follicles.
Conversely, Wendy's is announcing their new 35 lb, 100 patty burger. To complete the "Value Meal", which will cost $800.00, you get a five gallon bucket of fries and a keg of Coke.

That's another thing that kind of puzzles me, I don't eat fried chicken but maybe once a year. How can anybody's favorite piece be the drumstick? There is like an ounce of meat on it, and what you do get is that greasy-ass dark meat.

Gum to your head and only one piece to choose, you gotta go with the breast.

I gotta disagree Glenn.
I'm a fried chicken connisseur. I make it myself, and enjoy the Popeye's version.
If someone had a stick of JuicyFruit to my noggin, I'd go with the thighs.

That's another thing that kind of puzzles me, I don't eat fried chicken but maybe once a year. How can anybody's favorite piece be the drumstick? There is like an ounce of meat on it, and what you do get is that greasy-ass dark meat.

Gum to your head and only one piece to choose, you gotta go with the breast.

Damn, typo. Of course, I meant gun, not gum.

Speaking of gum, I don't get with how good that Fruit Stripe gum is (with the zebra stripes) why can't they make the flavor last more than 2 minutes?

Also, I've used the wrong thread for the chicken & gum comments: http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3715

Glenn, you've been reading my mind again.
Fruit Stripe rocks, but after 4 chews, it's turned to cud.
One thing that is good is the new fangled Dentyne Ice and other gum like that, um, stuff.
You wake up in the morning, have three cups of coffee and four cigarettes, and WOE to anyone within four miles of you if you yawn.
BUT, with New Dentyne Ice (my favorite flavor is peppermint), you can do your morning routine with the cigs and coffee and feel very comfortble getting within 6 inches of the cute chick at the office to tell her her tits look awfully nice this fine morning, and that you'd really like to fuck her in the ass.

Lol, i was going to say you are lucky if your fruit stripe gum lasts two minutes.

And I agree on the drumstick stuff. Give me a breast 10 out of 10 times. I'm also not a fan of wings at all (unless they are boneless). Too much damn work for two nibbles of meat. give me some ribs, nachos or something else to mess my face up with.

Yeah, those boneless buffalo wings from Chili's are incredible.

BTW, not sure if you were listening to the Inferno when they opened their show, but they are dead on. They were talking about women who don't answer their cell phone because the battery is dead, they have it on vibrate in their purse, they forget it somewhere, etc. My wife doesn't do that, but my sister is like that. I'm lucky to hear back from her 3 days after I call.

Cell phones are the bane of every man's existence.
Just another avenue for the wife to nag you.
I say, "I'm going out to get sloshed" She says, "What time will you be home" I say, "Tuesday".
Then, when I'm almost to the car, she opens the door and yells, "Here's your cell phone!".
Great, now she'll call every twelve minutes asking where I am, when I'm coming home, and the other bullshit. Of course, she'll say, "If you get too drunk, call me and I'll come get you"
I say to myself, "That's awfully nice of you to come get me from this chicks apartment, but I think I can make it home".

Sorry Zip, but this is sort of turning into the "discuss anything" thread part deux.

If you want to keep the "randomness" idea of this thread intact, just say the word and we can throw some of these posts into the discuss anything thread.

Well, this is what I talked about the other day. there's a good flow to this, a good conversation, some good spontaneous stuff.
Let's not regulate and categorize ourselves to death here.

I don't have a problem with that, just wanted to give you the option of keeping the spirit of your thread intact.

LOL@ Zip thinking he is THEE authoritah. Random posts can be had anywhere--I have to agree with Glenn. These posts could all be thrown into the "Anything" thread, and the conversation would likely continue. Oh well, I don't really care, just pointing something out.

Also I rarely use my cell phone....

Edit: That first sentence didn't come out right -- I was just amused at the thought of categorizing ourselves to death.

Now wait a minute! I didn't start this thread, nor do I think I am thee authoritah!
Look, dudes, I'm into the spirit of WTF Detroit! It's my new home base. I'm evolving, learning, and gaining much insight and wisdom!
You CAN teach an old dog new tricks.
Just click your heels together twice, Zip, and say, "You CAN love threads! you CAN love threads!"

Yeah sorry, I thought Zip started the thread, not MoTown.

Mo can split this stuff off to the other thread if he wants to.

No problem Zip, you're doing fine here. I'm not trying to harass you, I'm just having a bad day thanks to the Pistons.

Glenn, you are ALL RIGHT by me any day of the week. I can take plenty of abuse and harrassment, BTW.***
***Here comes the freight train "One Liner of the Day":
I'm married with children.

Yeah sorry, I thought Zip started the thread, not MoTown.

Mo can split this stuff off to the other thread if he wants to.


Nah. I don't think you guys realize it but when I start threads that have tons of posts in it my ego inflates like Anna Nicole's wasteline.

For example: The Movie Review Thread.






I don't want to brag... but my threads are #1.

No problem Zip, you're doing fine here. I'm not trying to harass you, I'm just having a bad day thanks to the Pistons.

Is everyone having a bad day? I'm having a terrible day, and I think the combination of watching the Yankees walk off (yes, I know it's spring training....) and the Pistons get smoked yesterday must have something to do with it...

Vinny, I'm having a great day. I usually do.

I realize that I'm an asshole, and am perfectly comfortable with it.

Whatever happened to cool, creative and fun nicknames? Back in the day we had nicknames like "Iceman", "Scooter", "Skip", "The Admiral", "Ickey", "Muggsy", "Mookie", "Shoeless", "Thunder Dan", etc...

Now all we have is CP3, King James, J-Kidd, AI, The Matrix, S-Jax, Flash...

Where's the creativity???

Motown:
Hip Hop nation, baby. It's destroyed American culture, and it's not conducive to any imaginative thought or creation
EVERY fucking player is now to be nicknamed in this fashion: Initial of first name, followed by half of last name.
C-Webb, J-Fuck, etc.
Same thing with cities: First letter of city, followed by either "town" or last half of city name:
D-Town (Detroit); Oak-Town (variation, but same shit for "Oakland"), C-Bus, etc.
Those of you who don't think Hip Hop nation is the largest contributor to the dumbing down of America, well, that's just too fucking bad, because I do, and that's what really counts.

My penis gets me into so much trouble sometimes.

"I almost always want everything done already."

-Cox from Scrubs

Wow, Brown really can do something for you. I just saw a UPS guy sprint back to his truck after a delivery and haul ass out of the parking lot.

Missing boy scout found alive.

Wow, Brown really can do something for you. I just saw a UPS guy sprint back to his truck after a delivery and haul ass out of the parking lot.
They do the same shit to me... run to my door, ring the doorbell maybe, then run like hell back to that brown truck.

They do the same shit to me... run to my door, ring the doorbell maybe, then run like hell back to that brown truck.
I would suggest taking this sign off your door then:

http://image.bizrate.com/resize?sq=160&uid=482043318&mid=23

Bwahaha... I like!

Is KFed smarter than he gets credit for?

He hit that shit while it was still hot, probably got a nice settlement (especially if there wasn't a prenup), popped out a few kids to ensure that the $ keeps flowing (especially if he gets custody), and now that he's free and he's been with Brit, hot chicks will always want to be with him because of the crowd he traveled with.

Dude is total joke when it comes to personality and talent, but he just might have had a pretty solid plan here.

Glen:
As usual, you put a spin on something that makes me stop and think.
You are right about K-Fed. I guess the problem most of us have with him is that he thought of that shit before we did.
Ya gotta admire a guy who has the balls to go see his other girlfriend while girlfriend #1 is busy having his kid.
Kudos to K-Fed!

Good point Glenn. Smartest idiot around.

What's the deal with poetry?

or opera.

or opera.
Opera was critical in the evolution of the mute button.
It reached its penultimate form in "What's Opera, Doc?" and no further opera is needed.

Opera has also been critical in the development of the "Upper Middle Class Snob".
A term that had no meaning needed some validation. So along came opera, wine, and homes priced at 350,000 and above. Now, people who generally don't read books, live in debt up to their eyeballs, and never have sex (once they get married. Atleast, not with their spouse), can talk in terms that sound impressive to each other!
You know, they can say things like this:
"Hey Merv, what ya having for dinner?"
"Oh, probably some steaks and a nice merlot "
"That sounds great! We're gonna have some seafood and a chilled chardonnais"
TRANSLATION:
"Hey numbnuts, you going to spend the night jerking off in front of the computer as usual?"
"Probably, unless your wife calls me over when you go to play poker at your brothers house"
It's all code, guys, and you younger ones are going to have to learn this stuff if you want to make it in the coming years.

For all of the Catholics out there, does this pic disturb you?

http://assets.espn.go.com/photo/2007/0321/box_a_king_275.jpg

Yeah, that's Don King at Vatican City. The small white hand poking out of his left side... he just elbow-slammed Pope Benedict, and screamed "It's on, sucka, it's on!! Rocky Balboa!! Rocky Balboa!!"

Well... that last part isn't true.

Why? Is he running for pope?

"ONLY AT THE VATICAN!!"

If you look toward the middle, right about where King's tie ends, you see a hand sticking up over the balcony.
I think King is getting a blow job from the pope.

We need a poll.

Who's cooler: Don King or Larry King?

How about King Louis XIV?
That dude REALLY could dress for the NIT!

http://www.worth1000.com/entries/22000/22024_w.jpg

Larry King^
Don King Below: Who do you like?
http://www.crimelibrary.com/graphics/photos/gangsters_outlaws/cops_others/dolly_mapp/1-1-Don-King.jpg

Opera has also been critical in the development of the "Upper Middle Class Snob".
A term that had no meaning needed some validation. So along came opera, wine, and homes priced at 350,000 and above. Now, people who generally don't read books, live in debt up to their eyeballs, and never have sex (once they get married. Atleast, not with their spouse), can talk in terms that sound impressive to each other!
You know, they can say things like this:
"Hey Merv, what ya having for dinner?"
"Oh, probably some steaks and a nice merlot "
"That sounds great! We're gonna have some seafood and a chilled chardonnais"
TRANSLATION:
"Hey numbnuts, you going to spend the night jerking off in front of the computer as usual?"
"Probably, unless your wife calls me over when you go to play poker at your brothers house"
It's all code, guys, and you younger ones are going to have to learn this stuff if you want to make it in the coming years.
You should make a thread where you teach us youngins life lessons. We could come to you with our questions about life and meanings. It would be such a wonderful learning opportunity.

Zekyl:
you build the thread, and I'll be there.

pink eye

Had to watch my daughter for that this week. She was over a relatives house who came down with it the next day.

z56dnM7Vt74&watch_response

All that to get a two second glimpse of Ronald McDonald?

Ronald is worth any effort.

Just ask BigggChris.

http://www.crh.noaa.gov/dlh/science/event_archive/winter_archive/Images/cold.gif

Pizza Rolls.

Disgusting or delicious?

Pizza Rolls are basically just pizza inside a tiny, greasy, flaky shell that reminds me of the taste and texture of a dirty upper lip. Just get yourself a Hungry Howie's Pizza, them bitches is all over the place, they're cheap, and you can probably buy weed there.

^^Disagreed. DELICIOUS.

When drunk.

delicious....just gotta let those bad boys cool down first, the insides can fry your mouth

Pizza Rolls are basically just pizza inside a tiny, greasy, flaky shell that reminds me of the taste and texture of a dirty upper lip. Just get yourself a Hungry Howie's Pizza, them bitches is all over the place, they're cheap, and you can probably buy weed there.
A psycho ex-girlfriend's equally-crazy best friend worked at the Hungry Howie's I lived by, so I can confirm the "weed" bit. What I can't confirm is whether or not the bitch spat on my pizza out of spite.

Mxy leads the league in psycho ex-girlfriends.

Hell no - there's only maybe three ex-gfs that really fall in that category of "psycho".

The first psycho I started seeing after the smokin'-bodied woman I had been seeing had irritated me with clingy stupidity. In hindsight, it was a mistake to leave her -- she was fun and manageable, I was young and stupid. Anyways, the psycho was "cute" moreso than "hot", and a total dicktease, wanting to get married before having sex and pushing for us to get married 2-3 months after dating. NOOOO!!!! When I broke up with her, she acted like it just didn't happen, leaving psycho baked goods on my folks doorstep (like THAT was gonna make me get together with her), scrawling psycho "though you have raped me (never got past second base), I will never love another and save myself for you" notes on toilet paper, popped my car's tires (likely), all sorts of batshit crazy antics. The Howie's pizza girl was her friend.

The second one didn't start out psycho. Her folks told her the only reason they were staying together was so she could get through college and then they were getting a divorce. They also confirmed what I'd deduced (and I made the mistake of telling her) about her dad having an affair. (If I were married to my ex's nigthmare of a mom, I'd have an affair too.) She lost it, melted down, and broke up with me. Last I heard, which was a long time ago, she was still screwed up.

The third psycho was about to get married and wanted a final fling, but found herself hung up on me. She wasn't really psycho so much as bizarre -- kind of a cool chick, someone you might expect to find on a male-centric bulletin board. I'd probably have been ok with it had she bothered to TELL me that she was getting married. Oh well...

And then there was the ex-gf who was a little psycho, because she had a psycho ex-bf stalking her. But he was stalking me too and I was a little psycho over the matter until the cops and sedation finally put a stop to him.

I find stalker psycho ex girlfriends to be hot.

As for pizza rolls...good, but hot pockets are delicious.

As for pizza rolls...good, but hot pockets are delicious.
I'll never miss an opportunity to post this.


jFFTwnYXI20

Glenn: I cannot tell if your avatar is McLean Stevenson or Ted Knight. Either way, it's great.

Glenn: I cannot tell if your avatar is McLean Stevenson or Ted Knight. Either way, it's great.

Location: Bushwood

Free bowl of soup?

Got it...Ted Knight it is. Maybe I'll wrangle myself a nice Jm J Bullock avatar one of these days.

I can loan you one if you need it.

I can't find any mention of Joakim Noah's suit in this place.
Those of us old enough to remember Oopsie The Clown from way back in Detroit television history knows that the only thing missing in that fahsion disaster was a hat with a flower growing out of it.
Geezus H Christ, did that stupid fucker look in the mirror before he left home last night?
This kid works hard to cultivate a personna that is edgy. I'm thinking that in about five years, he'll be dead or out of the league due to "issues".

He's going for the Sideshow Mel look.

Do you guys ever get that "no so fresh" feeling?

Answer: Yes and by "yes" I mean "no way dude that's gay."

Greatest auction item ever.

http://www.bidspotter.com/forms/staticphoto.php?photo=4384186&date=Sep-16&time=06:00

Are you the lead bidder at $750?

Not hardly, but my kids could use a new bathtub.

A buddy of mine almost got his ass kicked during the final season at Tiger Stadium. We were at a game during the final week and he went in to use the trough in the men's room, something that we always used to joke about.

For some reason he pulled out his camera and took a picture of the thing and some dude that was apparently not kosher with that got up in his grill.

I never saw it, but a friend of a friend who was a big sports nut redid his basement. Apparently it was sweet, complete with pool table, ping pong table, foosball table, and a great bar.
He put urinals in his bathroom down there.

A buddy of mine almost got his ass kicked during the final season at Tiger Stadium. We were at a game during the final week and he went in to use the trough in the men's room, something that we always used to joke about.

For some reason he pulled out his camera and took a picture of the thing and some dude that was apparently not kosher with that got up in his grill.

Well, my unit took up half his camera shot, I think I was entitled to get mad.

also, I was 8 the last time I went to Tiger stadium, so I might be full of shit

Well, my unit took up half his camera shot, I think I was entitled to get mad.

also, I was 8 the last time I went to Tiger stadium, so I might be full of shit


He was using a telephoto lens??

I'm not much of a camera expert, would you classify his camera as a telephoto lens:

http://www.mikeoates.org/mas/observe/lunar-p/longlens.jpg

If you put that lens close enough to your unit, then it just might be possible for it to fill half his camera shot . . . .

The thing that pissed me off the most was he hit me in the ankle with his tripod (not that tripod either Giffman).

Why does Baby Oatmeal taste so much better than regular oatmeal?

Also, if we could get the entire world to live in individual quarantines for two months, would that cure the common cold?

If cherry flavored Pepsi is "Wild Cherry Pepsi", does that mean that Cherry Coke uses only cherries that have been bred in captivity? Or, do they not like to brag about their cherry catching skills as much as the Pepsi folks do?

Why is brown rice called "wild rice" while white rice is just rice?

Racism.

Why is brown rice called "wild rice" while white rice is just rice?

Racism.
What? "Wild rice" is different from brown rice.

In fact "wild rice" isn't rice at all.

Green olives are in a jar but black olives come in a can.

Why they got to lock up the black olives?

Racism.

(This is some dude's stand-up that I saw on Comedy Central years ago and really liked but I never heard from the dude again)

Why should a person with a higher income, be taxed more than a person with a lower income?

To the government, both people are the same (as far as basic citizen rights). So why penalize somebody for making more money? Money that he/she earned, no less.

I'm not trying to be political, I'm just looking for a good reason. I'm not going to object, just somebody tell me why that is...

Why should a person with a higher income, be taxed more than a person with a lower income?

To the government, both people are the same (as far as basic citizen rights). So why penalize somebody for making more money? Money that he/she earned, no less.

I'm not trying to be political, I'm just looking for a good reason. I'm not going to object, just somebody tell me why that is...
Here's a list of answers:

1) Because a society with a few super-rich people and a whole lot of really poor people is not healthy. It goes against the egalitarian values of democracy.
2) Because rich people can't become rich without underpaying poor people for their labor.
3) Because they should show some goddamn gratitude for the country that gave them the freedom to be successful.
4) Because why do they want all that money anyway? I mean, what do you really want with all that when there's so much good it can do for other people?
5) Because any really rich person has interests that require more attention from the government than poor people do. I mean: if you are an investor in Walmart, you want the government to widen roads and install sewage for the new stores so the new stores can be successful and your stock can go up 1/4 point. Governments work overtime to serve the interests of rich people, so the least rich people can do is pay their fair share.

I got a lot more, if you want to hear them. I could go on all day.

Here's a list of answers:

1) Because a society with a few super-rich people and a whole lot of really poor people is not healthy. It goes against the egalitarian values of democracy.
2) Because rich people can't become rich without underpaying poor people for their labor.
3) Because they should show some goddamn gratitude for the country that gave them the freedom to be successful.
4) Because why do they want all that money anyway? I mean, what do you really want with all that when there's so much good it can do for other people?
5) Because any really rich person has interests that require more attention from the government than poor people do. I mean: if you are an investor in Walmart, you want the government to widen roads and install sewage for the new stores so the new stores can be successful and your stock can go up 1/4 point. Governments work overtime to serve the interests of rich people, so the least rich people can do is pay their fair share.

I got a lot more, if you want to hear them. I could go on all day.


I suppose, I've just always thought that to assume the average upper-class individual has more surplus is ignorance. What if they have 3, 4, or 5 children??? Suddenly, they wouldn't have any more disposable income than any middle-class citizen would.

Income inequality is good for America, it gives people like me a reason to go to college and a motive to get a degree, even if it means having to take out loans to do so. Tax inequality isn't good for America, it penalizes those who may have put forth the hard work to be financially blessed, why should Uncle Sam benefit from my work?

Obviously this is hypothetical, I've always lived in a middle class home anyway.

I suppose, I've just always thought that to assume the average upper-class individual has more surplus is ignorance. What if they have 3, 4, or 5 children??? Suddenly, they wouldn't have any more disposable income than any middle-class citizen would.

Income inequality is good for America, it gives people like me a reason to go to college and a motive to get a degree, even if it means having to take out loans to do so. Tax inequality isn't good for America, it penalizes those who may have put forth the hard work to be financially blessed, why should Uncle Sam benefit from my work?

Obviously this is hypothetical, I've always lived in a middle class home anyway.
6) Rich people spend a considerably smaller percentage of their income than poor people do. Poor people have to spend just about every penny that comes in the door to make sure the rent is on time and there's food to eat, whereas a rich person - even one whose expenses are substantial - may only spend half of what they make, choosing to put the rest into investments (which may then in turn generate income through dividends). These investments do involve a small amount of risk, but they are more or less retained as property as their values tend to increase. The value of a mattress, on the other hand, tends to decrease, and must eventually be discarded altogether.

Let me talk to you about Denmark. Nice place. Cool in the winter. The language is pretty much indecipherable, but it doesn't matter, since everyone speaks English anyway.

Denmark's scale of taxation on rich people is INCREDIBLE compared to what it is in the US. Literally, the richest keep a very small portion of their gross income. Also, the country has a tiny military and almost no strategic military interests. Everyone gets a free university education, and the schools are fantastic. Denmark is home to a few really large international shipping and drug companies. It's kind of a national joke there about how many business executives come out of Denmark. It is against the communications laws of Denmark to compare the product of one company directly with the product of another in advertising.

And the people there are, according to a recent study, the happiest people in the world. If a few rich people are discontented with the tax code, everyone just rolls their eyes because they understand that the interests of a grumpy rich guy are not the same interests they have. The interests of the vast majority are well-served. The government is run very frugally, and the slightest hint of waste or corruption is a very big deal there. Danish people are very skeptical of politicians in general and hold them to a very high standard.

Sure, they have some immigration issues. Most of their issues are how to integrate a large Muslim minority into their country. The problem that they are having is that the Muslim immigrants have very conservative values and those values are not welcome in Denmark. Denmark supports extensive sex education in schools, religious pluralism, absolute legal equality of gays and straights, and in general a pretty chill attitude about most things, and the new Muslim immigrants have a hard time getting with the program. God knows why a Muslim would want to live in Denmark, but I guess it just goes to show that they're much happier living in liberal democracies (and complaining about how non-Islamic they are) than they are living in Islamic countries.

The Danish people are happy presumably because their government meets their needs, and probably also because of the nice pastries named after them. Our people are miserable because the government not only meets the needs of the very rich, but it practically waits on them hand and foot, while providing fuck all for the rest of us. The average individual in the US can only do one thing to alleviate their financial worries forever, and that is: become rich. Every day we're not rich, we're unhappy. We worship rich people and idolize them, and we internalize their lives and obsessively meditate on every single thing they say as if it came out of the mouth of Jesus Christ himself.

The Danish do not have financial worries, because they demand that their government provides critical services for them. Yeah, it sucks to be poor in Denmark, but at least you can count on healthcare, education, unemployment, clean streets, and healthy kids. And guess what? They're happy, smart, and they churn out business grads by the boatload. The only reason I can see for this is that they probably have some weird leftover hangups that come from the old Protestant work ethic. I forgive them.

You seem to be under the impression that being worried about money is a magic formula for personal achievement, and I think both common sense and the existence of Denmark tell me otherwise. I'm willing to admit that it might just be a matter of perspective, though.

I wish I had more kids. 1 isn't/wasn't enough.

Tahoe's gettin laid tonight! lol

I feel numb and unmotivated.

It's me and the wife's anniversary today. 5 years. Not a single person called us.

Tahoe's gettin laid tonight! lol

No news there. My wife can't leave me alone. :)

It's me and the wife's anniversary today. 5 years. Not a single person called us.

Congrats on 5. Have lots of kids.

After we finish that greatest Douchebags tournament, we need to have a "Great Moments in WTF history" thingamabob.

Early nominations:

*When we found out about Knockout.

*When the G brothers went all crazy and racist and shit.

*When Mola convinced Donvito at Hoopsworld that he was really a Serbian Darko fan of some sort to the point that Donvito started lambasting other hoopsworld posters for making fun of his "bad english".

*That time that lady who got fired by Text Message showed up.

* The Uncle Cliffy revolt.

* "Don't Try And Be A Hero"

* CCCSDad.

* Aks Bukdow.

^ :motown soa:

I was watching Die Hard today and they walked by a gas station. The sign read: $.77 Regular. I cried.

After we finish that greatest Douchebags tournament, we need to have a "Great Moments in WTF history" thingamabob.

Early nominations:

*When we found out about Knockout.

*When the G brothers went all crazy and racist and shit.

*When Mola convinced Donvito at Hoopsworld that he was really a Serbian Darko fan of some sort to the point that Donvito started lambasting other hoopsworld posters for making fun of his "bad english".

*That time that lady who got fired by Text Message showed up.

* The Uncle Cliffy revolt.

* "Don't Try And Be A Hero"

* CCCSDad.

* Aks Bukdow.

I'd add to that our current comic strip by DM.

I got bit by a spider on my palm on Tuesday of last week. I have yet to develop any super powers, but it did get a little infected and hurt like hell.

I have yet to develop any super powers.

give it time

I'd start making the costume now.
http://coolest-homemade-costumes.shippony.com/images/characters/super-hero/made-up/super-hero-costume-01.jpg

Too plain. I need flare.

Suggestion: Don't wear crocs. Please.

Even if they're red?

Too plain. I need flare.

Hmmm, what does the Minnesota state flag look like?

I bet it would be an effective cape.

Even if they're red?
I'm sorry, no matter what the color, they are never acceptable. Even for women.

Hmmm, what does the Minnesota state flag look like?

I bet it would be an effective cape.

http://www.allstates-flag.com/images/full-size/flags/state/minnesota.gif

Good start. Good color scheme. I'm not sure what color crocs to go with though...

Lakerman.

(I think that's navy, not purple)

You could pretend to be from Michigan and use these

http://www.shoes.com/ProductImages/Shoes_iAEC1052407.jpg

Superpowers came today. Just not the ones I wanted.

White cheddar yum

I'm sorry, no matter what the color, they are never acceptable. Even for women.
"Never" seems like a strong word. What about James Brown?

Wow, that smells bad.

I just hired a MARINE! He's friggin amped. We've been talking for a while now, but why am I worried he won't be able to cut it?

I'm tired and hungry.

I can't believe SDB is posting and the Lions are going to have a new GM. I'm over the moon.

I can't believe SDB is posting and the Lions are going to have a new GM. I'm over the moon.

You're welcome.

I just hired a MARINE! He's friggin amped. We've been talking for a while now, but why am I worried he won't be able to cut it?

So far, so good.

Why the fuck am I up at 2am?

I wonder what swimming in a pool of 7-up would feel like.

And if Coke can melt a screw after a couple of days, would it melt our skin if we passed out for a couple days with our hand in a glass of Coke?

i should sleep more.

The spellings of reliever and receiver are fucking stupid. They're the exact same word other than one sound but they're flipped.

That's a rule that has never made any sense in English.

I before E, except after C,
Or when sounded as "EH" as in Neighbor and Weigh,
Or on Tuesdays and Full Moons and Holidays in May,
And you'll never be right no matter what you say.

The candidates should be asked to perform lie detector test... even if it's not a perfect science it would be better than the shit we're supposed to endorse.
Who rates the best on the BS meter?

^ Seconded!

That would be very nice.

The candidates should be asked to perform lie detector test... even if it's not a perfect science it would be better than the shit we're supposed to endorse.
Who rates the best on the BS meter?
The problem that I see with this is that instead of getting rid of liars, it would force the US to elect better liars. Evolution eventually makes fools out of all of us.

Better liars or complete idiots. I have zero doubt Bush passes every lie detector test you'd give him.

There are certain posters on this board that when I read their posts, I always have a certain voice in my head for them:

Hermy: A very sarcastic, yet I don't give a shit voice
geerussell: A very condescending voice
gusman: A drunk voice, slurring the words
SDB: I read his posts quickly, as if he's talking really fast
Big Swami: A loud, bellowing voice
Fool: A low, yet angry tone
Zip: An English accent
bukdow: I don't really need to describe his tone of voice...

Don't judge me, that's just the way I read them.

Wow, I sure am glad that you don't read my posts.

I am hella glad this is my last history class I'll ever have to take...

Wow, I sure am glad that you don't read my posts.

Nah the people I didn't list just have normal voices. Nothing drastic.

How do you imagine this sounding?:


"He's swimming!"

I am hella glad this is my last history class I'll ever have to take...

History classes should be tought just before bedtime.

How do you imagine this sounding?:




"He's swimming!"


Similar to the little girl from Signs voice. And then a giggle. And then tears.

You're dead on about the tears.

"QUIT TRYING TO TOUCH THE KEYBOARD, GODDAMMIT"

*wah*

My wife woke up at 5:00am today. Then she woke me up.

MRS. SWAMI: My shoulder itches.

MR. SWAMI: What?

MRS. SWAMI: My shoulder itches.

MR. SWAMI: Mmm.

MRS. SWAMI: I can't reach it. Scratch my shoulder.

MR. SWAMI: Okay. There?

MRS. SWAMI: Yes. More. Don't you have any fingernails?

MR. SWAMI: No, I cut them last night.

MRS. SWAMI: You're useless. <SNORE>

Did you guys make that baby yet?

Did you guys make that baby yet?

POIDH

Did you guys make that baby yet?
And why not, when the wife makes me feel so sexy?

topic: colon cleansing

Never tried it. I think it might be a fun Thursday night though.

topic: colon cleansing
Done it. It was really weird. Not sure if I'll do it again.

While we're on the subject of colons, has anyone seen Beyonce's sister. She is quite possibly the most unfortunate looking sibling of all time. I saw her in a music video (nothing like holding on to your sister's fame) and she was busy trying to do her best Beyonce impression, but it's hard to do when you look like a fucking mule. Talk about drawing the short end of the stick in the gene pool.

It's like a genetic experiment gone horribly wrong after attempting to clone Beyonce.

POIDH

OSTNM

POIDH


You're sick.