attending another funeral

That depends on who died.

My Goshboots suck. I bought them yesterday for $12.99. They're supposed to be constructed of some wonder rubber that cushions your foot while delivering uncompromising support and traction.

I'm very disappointed.

My Goshboots suck. I bought them yesterday for $12.99. They're supposed to be constructed of some wonder rubber that cushions your foot while delivering uncompromising support and traction.

I'm very disappointed.

It's not the Goshboots, it's the feet in them. Garbage in, garbage out.

It's not the Goshboots, it's the feet in them. Garbage in, garbage out.

The tag on them sez "Made in Cambodia". This is not good.

Waking up sick.

Waking up sick.
You woke up looking like this?

http://img520.imageshack.us/img520/5881/fivefourwk9.jpg

or like this...

http://nahright.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/jadakiss-the-last-kiss.jpg

pay cuts

coworker having a stroke in front of his son,
now in a coma that he's unlikely to come out of

Car broke down on the highway tonight for the second time in a year.

They put in a new transmission a year ago and it just blew again.

They better pay for this shit 100%.

Tranny just blew again.

I was thisclose to dumping it last month and decided to wait.

Insert 'Tranny blew' joke...

A lot of times when they replace your tranny in these situations, they are getting them used from a wrecked car. So you still have a defective tranny or a tranny that has a class action on it. Thats what happened to me anyway.

Can you request a rebuilt? Or you can punch the counter person when you take it in.

Yeah something isn't right there. Do you abuse trannys?

Tranny just blew again.

I was thisclose to dumping it last month and decided to wait.

This had to be on purpose.

There's no way you can set yourself up like that without knowing.

lol@me

A vacuum cleaner. BTW hi guys.

So I meet the tow truck driver this morning in the parking lot where my car died
(Meijer -- where the fuck were you when I needed you, Herm?) and I decide to try to drive it once more, just for shits.

And, of course, the damn thing seems fine. Drove it around like nothing was ever the matter.

I had them tow it anyways since it (and the rental car) is on Saturn's dime. Might as well have them give it a once over before I sell it (hopefully this week).

The new car I want just got the 0% financing assigned to it by GM.

Tits.

^I just copied and pasted that to my Twitter

So I meet the tow truck driver this morning in the parking lot where my car died
(Meijer -- where the fuck were you when I needed you, Herm?) and I decide to try to drive it once more, just for shits.

And, of course, the damn thing seems fine. Drove it around like nothing was ever the matter.

I had them tow it anyways since it (and the rental car) is on Saturn's dime. Might as well have them give it a once over before I sell it (hopefully this week).

The new car I want just got the 0% financing assigned to it by GM.

Tits.

No, THIS is tits:

http://www.demotivateus.com/posters/massive-tits-demotivational-poster.jpg

^ the chick on the right, then the one in the middle, then saggy on the left. In that order. I'm thinkin that'd take about 5 mins.

IIRC, Gl'enn you aksed whether you should try to get an extra couple of bucks out of the car since it had a new tranny. Aren't you glad you didn't get that extra money out of the potential buyers and now have to face them on your front porch?

Cold sores/herpes

friends contemplating divorce

^ its sucks, but sometimes its better.

Glad I don't have friends.

Ready to make dinner, which requires the use of milk.

I don't drink a lot of milk, so it tends to spoil on me.

Now I have to go out and buy milk.

But I smelled the milk first.

Then tasted it.

Bleeeachhhhhh!!!

The problem is, you're using prostitute milk. Try your co-ed neighbor with the big titties. I'm sure it's fresher

You have a nice Sig and Avatar...and thats a good thing now that you've ventured out from your hole.

^ Does he bite?

Walmart Wolverine = no bite

So you're a Walmart Wolverine that roots for USC?

So you're a Walmart Wolverine that roots for USC?

Only SC in football.

Cal State Nowhere in bball.

We're gonna fuckin SLAUGHTER Memphis. You wait and see.

BTW, Memphis sucks.

From their ____ _______ to their punk-ass showboating, Memphis is the antithesis of college athletics.

^ Does he bite?

Just barks a lil bit

spicy

friends contemplating divorce

That means there's another chick out there for the possibility of bangin'

You're assuming marriage prevented her from sleeping around. That's not a safe assumption in this particular case.

You're probably also assuming that she'd be worth sleeping around with, and that the thought of sleeping around with her wouldn't prompt you to cut your dick off with a butter knife. Again, not a safe assumption...

I've never had a harder time trying to sleep in my life.

My buddy just killed a guy in a head-on auto accident. My buddy was on his side of the road. Doesn't look like there will be an probs as far as that goes, but he's shook up.

Damn, that's tough.

Canned laughter.

-home made YouTube videos (I've mentioned this before, I know)
-when pop music suckitude invades my children's television viewing

kk1OTXTtXRs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk1OTXTtXRs

-home made YouTube videos (I've mentioned this before, I know)


What about the ones where the people that make the videos are ranting about politics or responding to other people's shitty home made videos?

What about the ones where the people that make the videos are ranting about politics or responding to other people's shitty home made videos?

Yeah, I think he meant the ones where people hold the video camera up to their TV. I mean, everybody loves the homemade ones where some 47 year old lunatic in his underwear screams into his camera about the bank bailout from his 30 year old lazy boy in the back of his double wide.

-home made YouTube videos (I've mentioned this before, I know)


I hate how YouTube has gone from finding incredible jewels of nostalgia in the form of old TV clips, especially sports clips, to the vehicle for every moron in the world to show us just how stupid he is. When it first started getting popular you could find old clips of everything. When George Kell died I went to YouTube to watch some old clips of him and Kaline and the animated Tiger that I grew up with and that I had seen years ago on YouTube. It didn't matter how many searches I did or how many pages I searched, I couldn't find them again. I could only find modern Tiger clips and 1008298298 morons and their view on something Tigers. Someone should have to answer for that.

Or if you are looking for a song, some dipshits title it by the song (Jumpin Jack Flash -Stones) and it just some dude on his guitar fuckin the song up.

Yeah, the vids of the people playing guitar are just gay.

I guess I don't mind if they do it for their mom in timbuktu, but just title it that way.

Fuckhead playing JJF - Rolling Stones or something

I guess I don't mind if they do it for their mom in timbuktu, but just title it that way.

Fuckhead playing JJF - Rolling Stones or something

It'd still be gay. I'd only not mind if they posted original material instead of them playing some fucking Metallica song or whatever.

Yea, its apples and oranges really. :)

The comments are pretty funny though.

"YOUR TONE SUCKS!"
"YOUR HARMONICS ARE NOT RIGHT!"

The Cartoon Network having less cartoons on it sucks:

http://www.broadcastingcable.com/article/190677-Upfronts_2009_Cartoon_Network_Goes_Off_Script.php


New York -- Cartoon Network is boosting its live action fare and expanding into unscripted alternative programming in an attempt to woo a slightly older (and potentially more profitable) new crowd.

"Just like the boy that wakes up one day and starts to sound different, our voice is changing too," said Stu Snyder president and COO of Turner Broadcasting's Animation, Young Adults and Kids Media division.

Turner and Cartoon Network executives made their pitch at the Frederick P. Rose Hall at Time Warner Center, with a backdrop consisting of buzzwords to describe the new strategy such as "authentic," "real stakes," and "un-sanitized."

At the forefront of the strategy are a slate of new alternative series that seem to take their cues from more grownup cable networks such as Discovery and Sci Fi, though with teens and tweens as the stars.

To that end, Cartoon has snatched Les Stroud, the former host of Survivorman on Discovery, to host Survive This, a reality series that will feature teens learning survival skills and overcoming challenges in the wild.

Well at least MTV still plays music videos!

Well at least MTV still plays music videos!

I think music videos are about 1% of their programming.

^Dad guy

^ badge of honor

I always forget to use the green text.

^ lol. I was wondering WTF channel you were watching. I should have caught that.

That was why I made the Dad guy reference, you missed the sarcasm.

I think music videos are about 1% of their programming.

And they aren't even good ones.

I just have to admit I'm inferior and move on. Thats all I can do right now.

And they aren't even good ones.

They seriously suck donkey dick

I just have to admit I'm inferior and move on. Thats all I can do right now.

http://blog.beliefnet.com/stevenwaldman/imgs/stuart%20smalley.jpg

I'm more pissed off at the fact they took Wonder Showzen off than anything else.

1067...that hurts a lil bit, but I can accept that.

I'm more pissed off at the fact they took Wonder Showzen off than anything else.

Total fuckhead move.

I would fall of the couch laughing at some of that.

I liked that Wildboys show with the dudes from Jackass too, but that's gone as well.

Man, fuck MTV.

1067...that hurts a lil bit, but I can accept that.
oops, lib connection, sorry

And Headbanger's Ball is just lame.

MTV sucks.

They have 2 or is it 3 channels now and they still can't play vidz.

Steve O hit the rehab circuit and cleaned himself up quite a bit. He was NOT heading down a good path. I like wild and crazy, but not to the point of killing yourself.

oops, lib connection, sorry

See, you got that. I didn't even have to mention it.

I'm feeling more inferior now.

VH1 isn't much better either. There's some guilty pleasures on there, but still.... they suck too.

Total fuckhead move.

I would fall of the couch laughing at some of that.

That was just one show you do NOT let your kids watch.

It could make for some uncomfortable calls from the principals office.

edit...if they repeat any of that shit.

I've got about a 425k presentation to make today at 5pm and I admit, I'm a lil nervous for some reason. Normally, I do these standing on my head, but these things are getting fewer and farther between. Maybe thats it.

btw...doing the presentations standing on my head always helps. It impresses peeps. :)

btw...doing the presentations standing on my head always helps. It impresses peeps. :)

http://www.lahiguera.net/cinemania/actores/dick_van_dyke/fotos/4095/dick_van_dyke.jpg

Nice.

When beer burps come through your nose for some reason. Man, they bring tears to your eyes.

I guess it doesn't suck that bad, cuz after it stops hurting I always laugh.

Peeps not posting when you want to post

Peeps not posting when you want to post

Tahoe, you deserve THIS for THAT

http://images.thebiggestbreasts.com/post/20061026/huge_black_boobs_03.jpg

I just had to go do something...so that red X means what?

Mebe it's actually a link to a red X, and that's what you deserve.

If that's true and thats all Zip thinks I deserve...he's on my shit list.

There will a shitstorm the likes of which has never been fuckin seen before...maybe, if I have the engery or something.

Red X I see a hot black chick with huge tits. Sorry if you don't--but she is awesome.

^ I'll take your word for it.

And it sucks that i couldn't see it.

I has a headache. Not used to pounding beers like the old days.

I has a headache. Not used to pounding beers like the old days.

You're supposed to drink them, not fuck them you moron! :)

PIRATES

Tonsillectomy time.

Tigers pitching.

Jon (Detroit): Are the Pistons going to get Allen Iverson back next year and start him since he said he is not willing to come off the bench. If the Pistons don’t get him back, does that mean Joe Dumars traded Chauncey Billups for nobody?

Langlois: There is no reason to think Iverson will be back with the Pistons, but you can’t look at the trade that way, Jon. Because of the cap space the trade creates, Joe Dumars will be able to sign one or two free agents this summer. That would not have been possible with Billups still under contract. So the trade was Chauncey Billups for a one-year trial of Allen Iverson PLUS whoever Dumars signs this summer in free agency.

I vant to kill myself.

I miss Swami.

LOL @ "PLUS"

Jon (Detroit): Are the Pistons going to get Allen Iverson back next year and start him since he said he is not willing to come off the bench. If the Pistons don’t get him back, does that mean Joe Dumars traded Chauncey Billups for nobody?

I miss Swami.

Swami would have jumped

The IRS

Bugs in TurboTax

TWO MICHAEL JORDAN COLLEGE ROOKIES!!!

This thread needs another jolt of energy from Don West. (I suggest skipping about 4.5 minutes in when he starts to cream his pants over the math).

OmQrmiqr7Fg

Chris Collinsworth.

Chris Collinsworth.

BINGO! He's the Robert Urich of sports broadcasting.

BINGO! He's the Robert Urich of sports broadcasting.

Hells no. VEGA$ was the shit, baby.

Now, if you said "The Ryan Seacrest of sports broadcasting..."

OK, he's the Mark Harmon of sports broadcasting. He's bad, but he just keeps getting new gigs all the time. And he has an over bite. He's GOT to be Canadian.

OK, he's the Mark Harmon of sports broadcasting. He's bad, but he just keeps getting new gigs all the time. And he has an over bite. He's GOT to be Canadian.

Hells no. NCIS is a highly entertaining program.

Now, if you said "The Dave Matthews Band of sports broadcasting..."

Dude, if you are watching a Mark Harmon tv show, it may be about time to turn the tv off, especially if you find it entertaining.

Dude, if you are watching a Mark Harmon tv show, it may be about time to turn the tv off, especially if you find it entertaining.

Clearly you never saw Summer School.

NCIS. A good show.

Summer School. A good film.

Zip's Official Guide to Television Enjoyment

• Watches a lot of Lifetime Network with the misses, to connect with his "Inner Female". Also watches Oxygen network when "battered wife flick" on Lifetime.

• Bassmasters highly recommended. A master baiter himself.

• Die hard fan of Bobby Flay. Will watch any show he is in, and eat any food he makes.

• Hooked on The Hills. Wishes Heidi and Spencer will finally get hitched.

• Loves old British comedy shows on PBS NOT made or starring a Monty Python alumn.

• Thinks Monty Python a British Saturday morning cartoon snake. Zip's phobia of snakes prevents him from watching anything Monty Python. Also won't watch classic film Snakes on a Plane.

• Owns entire second season of Gilligan's Island, and entire third season of Brady Bunch. Will watch anything on TVLand or Nick at Night, or made by Sherwood Schwartz.

• His 36" television the latest in tube technology.

A good idea that takes too much time...

The media sucks LeBron's dick. I have pictures!

Having big feet.

So I've been looking off and on for a pair of work shoes for about a year now. They need to be casual-dressy looking, but I do some warehouse work here and there so I need max comfort. Throw in the fact that I broke a few bones in my right foot a few years back, and I need a little more comfort.

A couple nights ago I found a pair of Converse that I think looked OK for work, but the biggest the store had were 12s. I have now come to the conclusion that they don't even exist on the internet in the solid black, let alone in my size.

I'm not kidding, been looking for a year now.

Not having any beer in the house.

I have 2 30 packs, plus some Sierra Nevada Pale Ale and some Tecate, but the thought of not having any beer in the house really sucks.

I just finished my work day. The boy was home all weekend so everything pilled up. I'll be diggin myself out of this hole all week.

It will suck if "Chuck" gets cancelled. That show is great.

It would suck if 24 wasn't on tonight.

It sucks that I didn't record "Lost' this season, cuz I'm all caught up cept for the start of this season.

Sucks that I don't have a time machine.

24 was pretty boring tonight - just a warning. It was one of those "set-up" shows for the final 4 episodes.

^ Thanks. Funny, for us, it'll be about half way through and we say...set up...on those type of show.

We really liked 24, then we went to Lost. That took some adjusting. Now we're back to 24 and we miss that crazy ass Lost show.

rain on golf league night


(to stay on the off topic, this might be the best Lost season yet)

I'm in Arizona right now so I missed last night's episode. I love how Lost has completely changed genres since it started. It was like a mystery/adventure show back in 2004, and now it's 100% sci-fi. And the best part is that no one seems to care.

Flip Murray not getting his props because of Chris.

a diagnosis of cancer where you have to look up 5-year survival rates

Damn. Hope that's not you. Best wishes to whoever that is.

^+1

Not me, but close family.

And thanks.

I'm used to my family dying of complications from strokes, mostly. This is a different world for me.

Ouch, Moxie. My wife is just getting thourhg a battle with breast cancer (which killed her mother about 25 years ago), and is now in for the post-cancer drugs, the decision on radical hysterectomy, and all that other BS. Cancer can flip people out, too. She moved out and I think blames me and my daughters in part, and it looks like we're headed for the Big D. A total heartbreaker. Add to all that, and you still have the specter of it returning hanging over your head for the rest of your life.
My best friend in the whole wide world just finished his second round of fighting cancer off. I hate it!
Best of luck to you and the family member!

Best of luck to all as well.

My wifes best friend found a lump, they decided to be agressive with a double M, it didn't work. The outlook is not good.

thx

Sorry to hear that Mxy, best of luck.

Voice mail systems that read you off like a hundred options before getting to the part you can leave a message.

Our cell phones allow you to hit one to skip right to the voice mail. I hate it when it doesn't have the option.

Barry Melrose

When there are pointless blocks on work computers. I can get to 99% of the internet, the only two things that have ever come up as blocked for me are the distance learning site for school (which made submitting assignments in a specific time frame very difficult if that time frame was while I was at work), and the page that displays my final grades. All I want is to see what GPA I graduated with, dammit!

Also, when you DVR the Tigers and Red Wings games with your dad so you can take your mother out for Mothers Day and the DVR cuts off the end of both.

Missed the last inning of the Tigers game and the last 3 minutes or so of the Wings. Its not much, but its really just the fact that I didn't get to see the end.

Your DVR must have known you are a Cleveland fan.

People suck - and they're fucking stupid as they:

always drive slower than the speed limit in my lane. I'm in the right hand lane cause I wanna go just over the limit. If YOU wanna drive slower than the limit stay in the left lane - that's what it's for.

order tons of shit at McDonald's when they are the car in front of me - the reason you're a fat fuck is cause you order the value meal, and the extra burger, and the apple pie, and the fucking sundae. Get the meal and fuck off

look at the menu for ages inside McDonald's. If you ain't there for breakfast you know what they have - order something already or stand to the side until you've made up your mind. I know what I'm ordering - get outta my way while you read.

stop for the amber light - it means hurry up. As a society we really need to fix this. If people start stopping on amber lights the whole fucking system will fall apart. For the morons - RED = stop, AMBER = hurry up or you might get hit, GREEN = go

always come over at the wrong time, like when I'm watching a movie. I'm on holidays. That does not give you the right to come over un-announced. I don't visit you without calling first. You might be masturbating or something. Have the fucking decency to ring me and see what I'm doing before your bored ass rocks up on my doorstep - I have a woman, unlike you - we might be fucking. That's how we got the 2 kids we already have.

always wanna talk about themselves, like they're so important. Congrats on getting your stoned ass out of bed and over to my house. No, I don't know why the TV shows on during the day suck. No I don't wanna go get something to eat. No I don't wanna watch the Wiggles. No matter how fucking stoned you might be I AM NOT - and before your dumbass got here I was happy watching the Boondock Saints. Now that you have interupted my fucking movie at least have the decency to sit there and eat my BBQ chips in fucking silence

always want to talk about their latest mobile phone. Great! You got a new phone. It has internet! It takes photos! It's an mp3 player! You can watch movies on it! You can do email! Great! Can you text people and take phone calls? Good - now Shut The Fuck Up. My movie ain't over yet

The most important part of their new phone is that they didn't use it to see if they could come over.

People suck - and they're fucking stupid as they:

always drive slower than the speed limit in my lane. I'm in the right hand lane cause I wanna go just over the limit. If YOU wanna drive slower than the limit stay in the left lane - that's what it's for.
Pharaoh lives on the moon, where up is down, left is right and children eat jellybeans for breakfast.

order tons of shit at McDonald's when they are the car in front of me - the reason you're a fat fuck is cause you order the value meal, and the extra burger, and the apple pie, and the fucking sundae. Get the meal and fuck off
Let's be honest, the reason people are fat fucks is because they walked in to a McDonald's, not because of what they ordered.

look at the menu for ages inside McDonald's. If you ain't there for breakfast you know what they have - order something already or stand to the side until you've made up your mind. I know what I'm ordering - get outta my way while you read.
Or, you could just say, "do you mind if I order ahead of you?"

stop for the amber light - it means hurry up. As a society we really need to fix this. If people start stopping on amber lights the whole fucking system will fall apart. For the morons - RED = stop, AMBER = hurry up or you might get hit, GREEN = go
Where I live (not on the moon) amber means "if your tires are not already over the line, you should stop, because there's a cop staring at you right now from the church parking lot over there."

always come over at the wrong time, like when I'm watching a movie. I'm on holidays. That does not give you the right to come over un-announced. I don't visit you without calling first. You might be masturbating or something. Have the fucking decency to ring me and see what I'm doing before your bored ass rocks up on my doorstep - I have a woman, unlike you - we might be fucking. That's how we got the 2 kids we already have.
I had to admit to myself recently that there is pretty much about 0.9% of my time that I really want to spend on visitors. I think that's what it means to be an adult. Now when people come to my door, I say "sure, come on in. I needed help cleaning up the dog's vomit."

always wanna talk about themselves, like they're so important. Congrats on getting your stoned ass out of bed and over to my house. No, I don't know why the TV shows on during the day suck. No I don't wanna go get something to eat. No I don't wanna watch the Wiggles. No matter how fucking stoned you might be I AM NOT - and before your dumbass got here I was happy watching the Boondock Saints. Now that you have interupted my fucking movie at least have the decency to sit there and eat my BBQ chips in fucking silence
I had a friend call me up last weekend and say "hey, you want me to come over? We can get stoned and watch nature shows!" I was like, "no thanks, I'm thirty-five years old."

always want to talk about their latest mobile phone. Great! You got a new phone. It has internet! It takes photos! It's an mp3 player! You can watch movies on it! You can do email! Great! Can you text people and take phone calls? Good - now Shut The Fuck Up. My movie ain't over yet
I am with you. I have had entirely enough with nerds and their stupid gadget fetishes. I honestly just want to replace my mobile phone with a Ma Bell classic mechanical 90V rotary dial. "How am I supposed to text you when all you have is a dinosaur phone?" You can't, because every text I get from you is something stupid, and I figured this would discourage you.

I'm on a dad guy rampage today.

I'm with you on all these P except the Amber light. I hate when people run Amber lights and I'm sitting there waiting to turn left. People keep doing it and pretty soon you've been sitting at the same light for 20 minutes trying to turn left.

Amber means slow down and stop unless you have to slam on the breaks to stop.

Chris, if you are waiting to turn left and people keep going through the amber light just do what I do:

I edge out as far as I can without being hit and then when the light goes red I turn!

It's not illegal - technically I was already in the intersection when it changed. I couldn't just stay in the middle of the fucking intersection, could I?

Chris, if you are waiting to turn left and people keep going through the amber light just do what I do:

I edge out as far as I can without being hit and then when the light goes red I turn!

It's not illegal - technically I was already in the intersection when it changed. I couldn't just stay in the middle of the fucking intersection, could I?

Camry drivers. None of them know how to fuckin drive!

It's a theory I have -- Camry drivers suck because, generally, they are inept at decision-making. They have a terrible time thinking on the fly, and that translates to a driver who'll sit in an intersection about to turn left and MISS several openings, holding everybody up, them creep away at the red, completely fucking the driver behind him/her, who must hug the Camry's bumper lest get T-boned by oncoming traffic.

It all starts with the purchase. Who buys a Camry? Simple -- the person who can't (or refuses to) make an educated decision. Camry's are no-brainers: they're fairly roomy, blandly styled, run forever, and are competitively priced... i.e., they are a "safe purchase". This person, being incapable of making a decision, chooses the safe bet, rather than comparatively shop against like-models such as the Mazda 6, Honda Accord, or Chevy Malibu.

That's too much work for those asslicking fucktards! Might give them a headache. Too much "thinking". Too much "work".

So, they buy the Camry, and proceed to switch lanes at the last minute, hold up left-turning traffic, stop in the middle of the street to search for an address, and generally give the rest of us that headache they so desperately tried to avoid.

Camry drivers. None of them know how to fuckin drive!

It's a theory I have -- Camry drivers suck because, generally, they are inept at decision-making. They have a terrible time thinking on the fly, and that translates to a driver who'll sit in an intersection about to turn left and MISS several openings, holding everybody up, them creep away at the red, completely fucking the driver behind him/her, who must hug the Camry's bumper lest get T-boned by oncoming traffic.

It all starts with the purchase. Who buys a Camry? Simple -- the person who can't (or refuses to) make an educated decision. Camry's are no-brainers: they're fairly roomy, blandly styled, run forever, and are competitively priced... i.e., they are a "safe purchase". This person, being incapable of making a decision, chooses the safe bet, rather than comparatively shop against like-models such as the Mazda 6, Honda Accord, or Chevy Malibu.

That's too much work for those asslicking fucktards! Might give them a headache. Too much "thinking". Too much "work".

So, they buy the Camry, and proceed to switch lanes at the last minute, hold up left-turning traffic, stop in the middle of the street to search for an address, and generally give the rest of us that headache they so desperately tried to avoid.

That's why I drive the way I drive. I rarely get caught at intersections or anywhere. I know where I'm going - the rest of you just need to get the fuck on with it or get out of the way

ATM's that show advertising on-screen DURING the transaction process, making you wait a little longer for your money in an already un-safe environment (depending on the city)

Chris, if you are waiting to turn left and people keep going through the amber light just do what I do:

I edge out as far as I can without being hit and then when the light goes red I turn!

It's not illegal - technically I was already in the intersection when it changed. I couldn't just stay in the middle of the fucking intersection, could I?
No thanks. Then I get hit by some dumbass illegal that doesn't have car insurance and I'm fucked because my insurance would only cover me if I was at fault. Colorado isn't a no fault state so the person at fault (the uninsured person) has to pay my medical bills.

Camry drivers. None of them know how to fuckin drive!

It's a theory I have -- Camry drivers suck because, generally, they are inept at decision-making. They have a terrible time thinking on the fly, and that translates to a driver who'll sit in an intersection about to turn left and MISS several openings, holding everybody up, them creep away at the red, completely fucking the driver behind him/her, who must hug the Camry's bumper lest get T-boned by oncoming traffic.

i think you may be onto something. I think you can add dodge caravans in there too.

Chris, if you are waiting to turn left and people keep going through the amber light just do what I do:

I edge out as far as I can without being hit and then when the light goes red I turn!

It's not illegal - technically I was already in the intersection when it changed. I couldn't just stay in the middle of the fucking intersection, could I?

I did that exact same thing about 6 months ago Pharoah. I was in the intersection when it was GREEN, then yellow, then once it was red I completed my turn.
I got pulled over, if the officer would have given me a ticket I would have gone apeshit.

*Exact Dialogue between me and officer (I will never forget this)*
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: No sir.
Officer: Why did you turn through the red light?
Me: I was already in the intersection, I was simply clearing the intersection.
Officer: Why didn't you wait for the next light?
Me: I was obstructing pedestrian traffic and oncoming traffic.
*Officer has puzzled look on his face*
Officer: Let me see your license and registration
Comes back 10 minutes later
Officer: Next time wait for the next light.

I thought traffic law says the first 3 cars can turn in that situation.

Otherwise, when the fuck can you go? If you didn't get time to turn at the first time, whats to say you will be able to the second time!

2 cars per yellow. That was the we rolled in Bay City anyway.

3 cars downriver.

In Chicago, they have those cameras popping up at all the big intersections, and will mail you a ticket if you turn on the red.

Well, fuck Chicago.

It has to be legal to turn on the red in that situation. Can someone check?

Like WL said: If you couldn't turn the first time what makes you think you'll be able to on the next green?

Being asked to fax important time-critical paperwork to a phone number that has been disconnected.

No hoop, no puck, no baseball till 4pm and then tomorrow will be Hockey, NBA, baseball and I won't have enough TVs.

I'd really like to choke whomever sets these things up so they get ratings.

Whoever thought chocolate frosted mini wheats was a good idea was a bad idea.

I have discovered one of Dad Guy's arch foes: Water Damage.

JP Morgan Chase is cutting their Flexible Rewards program after May 31.

So no longer is there an extra-incentive to pay via debit card (although it is by far the most conveinent and efficient means to do so).

I was saving my points to get an Odyssey 2-ball putter, but now that's not going to happen.

2 cars per yellow. That was the we rolled in Bay City anyway.

Here in Omaha we have those "turn left" green arrows that come before the main light turns green. They are a miraculous invention right up there with the "give a penny, leave a penny" cup at your local convenience store. There's none of this "one car gets to make the left turn" BS that I grew up with in Detroit, especially during rush hours. There are also very few accidents because drivers aren't fighting to make that left turn they've waited 45 minutes for while the last few cars coming from the opposite direction fight to run the yellow and red light.

Here in Omaha we have those "turn left" green arrows that come before the main light turns green. They are a miraculous invention right up there with the "give a penny, leave a penny" cup at your local convenience store. There's none of this "one car gets to make the left turn" BS that I grew up with in Detroit, especially during rush hours. There are also very few accidents because drivers aren't fighting to make that left turn they've waited 45 minutes for while the last few cars coming from the opposite direction fight to run the yellow and red light.

Y'all have traffic lights in Omaha?

A lot of tractors on them roads.

Zip, does every set of lights have the turning arrow?

Cause over here in the Land of Oz some have the turning arrows and some don't.

About 97% of them do. All of the big streets have them. There really is, though, no such thing, technically, as "rush hour" here. Omaha is a city of about 400,000, and a metro area approaching about a million (in the Detroit-Ann Arbor sense). I'd say the average work commute, if you haven't been scared away by Blacks and Hispanics and moved into some plowed cornfield-turned-subdivision 50 miles away, is about 11 minutes. 14 on a bad day. It makes driving home drunk a bit easier and harder to get caught.

LMAO - Same here in Cairns. Don't know the population figures but it takes me about 15 minutes to get to work and about 20 minutes home in "peak hour" lol

People in massive cities are fucked in the head IF you could do the same job in a smaller town. Why the fuck do you wanna sit in traffic for an hour or more? That's insane. That sucks!

Phararoh, the Detroit area has a lot of suburban sprawl from decades of people escaping from the once-big city. Between that and all the lakes' effects on the landscape, it can take 20-30+ minutes to get to most-anywhere. That sucks.

We are also not in Australia. That sucks. Though "Cairns" is a pretty fem-ass name. We'd have to change that shit if we came over.

"Cairns" is a fem-ass name? Yeah, I guess you're right.

Nothing says "great powerful man" like Warren, Sterling Heights, Pleasant Ridge, Ferndale, Roseville, St. Clair Shores and Ann Arbor.

^Good point. It's a good thing I live in McMurderface, MI.

LMAO

Are you impressed I remember all those names?

or impressed I looked them up?

I actually was impressed that you knew all of those names. It makes me think you're not really an Austrailian at all... maybe a spy...

^Good point. It's a good thing I live in McMurderface, MI.

This made me lol. :motown owns:

I actually was impressed that you knew all of those names. It makes me think you're not really an Austrailian at all... maybe a spy...

Spy?

Let's just say I'll never be allowed into the USA.

I have been to places that "they" don't want you to know about.

Ever heard of Pine Gap? (look it up)

That place sucks!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cairn

Yesterday on Cash Cab, some dude had accumulated $900 with just one strike. He decided to go double or nothing and do the video bonus. The question ended up asking which state Cedar Point was located.

The guy said "Washington State".

THAT sucks.

oof, epic fail. Of course it's easier being from the midwest...

Cedar Point fuckin rocks, by the way.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cairn

Pharaoh lives in a pile of stones?

A strange batch, those Aussies.

Seasonal allergies.

Have any of you tried allergy shots and did they work?

I'm not sure if I have seasonal allergies so much as bad reactions to sucky psychotic weather changes typical of Michigan.

Seasonal allergies.

Have any of you tried allergy shots and did they work?


My wife has had allergy shots over the last few years, in her opinion they have worked quite well.

Thanks jturbo, I'm getting sick of wasting time/money on allergy meds that don't work for me (I understand that different meds work for different people).

Benedryl helps some, but it knocks me on my arse.

Spring grasses kick my ass, but Alegra still seems to work for me. I've switched a couple of times but have always went back to alegra.

My alergies STOP IMMEDIATELY when I travel to Michigan.

Pharaoh lives in a pile of stones?

A strange batch, those Aussies.


The Land of Oz is a huge pile of stones Denny.

Didn't they teach you that in school?

I'm lucky: No allergies and a good back. and good hair. I also tan well.

I'm lucky: No allergies and a good back. and good hair. I also tan well. I'm just pretty much awesome like Tahoe

Just a guess but I think if LBJ and the Cavs had won tonight, it'd be top on ESPN.



<LI sizset="204" sizcache="10"><LI sizset="204" sizcache="10"><LI sizset="204" sizcache="10"><LI sizset="204" sizcache="10"><LI sizset="204" sizcache="10">Vick leaves jail for home confinement (http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=4183786) http://assets.espn.go.com/icons/watch.png | Blog (http://myespn.go.com/blogs/nflnation/0-7-835/Double-Coverage--The-Vick-Debate.html) <LI sizset="206" sizcache="10">Carpenter defeats Cubs (http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/recap?gameId=290520124) http://assets.espn.go.com/icons/watch.png | Brewers' run stops (http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/recap?gameId=290520118) <LI sizset="208" sizcache="10">D-backs reliever Schoeneweis' wife found dead (http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=4188199)<LI sizset="209" sizcache="10">Ortiz snaps homerless streak in Red Sox win (http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/recap?gameId=290520102) http://assets.espn.go.com/icons/watch.png <LI sizset="210" sizcache="10">Mickelson off tour as wife battles cancer (http://sports.espn.go.com/golf/news/story?id=4185540) | Sobel (http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/blog/index?entryID=4186536&name=sobel_jason) <LI sizset="212" sizcache="10">Three straight HRs help Yanks win 8th in row (http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/recap?gameId=290520110) http://assets.espn.go.com/icons/watch.png <LI sizset="213" sizcache="10">Pepsi Center stunned as WWE Raw goes to L.A. (http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/playoffs/2009/news/story?id=4188189) <LI sizset="214" sizcache="10">Core of '08 U.S. hoops team might return in '10 (http://sports.espn.go.com/oly/olybb/news/story?id=4187292) <LI sizset="215" sizcache="10">KSU sues to not pay Prince 'secret' $3.2 million (http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=4187833) <LI sizset="216" sizcache="10">NASCAR imposes suspension, record $200K fine (http://sports.espn.go.com/rpm/nascar/cup/news/story?id=4187891)

I just did suicides for the first time in probably 4 years. Damn.

Just a guess but I think if LBJ and the Cavs had won tonight, it'd be top on ESPN.

No kidding. Orlando upsets an undefeated playoff team with 2 losses at home all year...

And it's not more important than the Colts bringing back a retired assistant?

There are only two things more important than football to ESPN, the Yankees and the Red Sox.

I swear the Yankees and Red Sox play each other at least 60 times per year. And the Cubs and Cardinals are just as bad!

I swear the Yankees and Red Sox play each other at least 60 times per year. And the Cubs and Cardinals are just as bad!

And it seems the Detroit Tigers play the Minnesota Twins 79 times per year and lose every fucking one of them.

Children's Zoos that close at 3

You know what sucks?

Friends who get pissed at you but don't fucking tell you why they're pissed!

I've known this guy for 8 years and all of a sudden he and his woman are pissed at me and my woman but we don't know why!

I'm the Godfather of his first born! We've known each other for 8 fucking years! You can't tell me why you're pissed?

What The Fuck?

^ Cuz you belive in Stuckey as the savior of the Pistons. Some peeps just don't roll like that.

LMAO - Who do you think I am talking about?

Do you think I'm the Godfather to some kid I've never seen?

What kind of drugs are you on, old man?

Oh, and it sucks to be Dirk:


I’ve known Dirk for seven years—and, no, I didn’t tell him everything about my past because I was afraid,” she said. “But I mean, now I’m pregnant and alone and broke because he is my only source of income.”

LMAO @ Dirk.

it was a fuckin joke you non-humorous aussie. But reading it again, it aint even funny so...

When half an hour before you check out for a 3 day weekend... some news hits that means you get to put in probably 30-40 hours over your weekend.

I'll prolly work every day too. maybe not Monday.

But I'm assuming that wasn't news to you.

You are correct. No last minute news. That would suck. Office Space'esqe.

Uxka - what do you do? It would suck to have a job that springs that shit on you on a Friday afternoon.

And you're correct Tahoe - it wasn't funny

Also you failed to use the blue text

That was an EPIC FAIL any way you look at it.

Uxka - what do you do? It would suck to have a job that springs that shit on you on a Friday afternoon.

My job encompasses many things, but basically I do stuff for a web-based company. In all fairness, my job is awesome and this was something that wasn't just sprung on me but the whole company, and nothing like this has happened in over a year of working there. On the bright side the owners are cool, and I'll get to put the hours in from the comfort of the chair I'm sitting in now. I'll also get to take these days off once everything is finished, the timing is just unfortunate for us. It still sucks to have my plans turned upside-down though.

Yeah, if you planned to do something on the weekend then it sucks.

But if you weren't gonna do anything it's not such a big deal as long as you get these days back when the project is done.

What did you have planned?

Nothing in particular, that's why it's not that big of a deal.

Children's Zoos

When half an hour before you check out for a 3 day weekend... some news hits that means you get to put in probably 30-40 hours over your weekend.

http://www.rappdems.org/Highway%20Trash%20Pickup%202008a.jpg

High ankle sprains.

Long days. Wings losing.

Long days. Wings losing.

Ozzie played good enough for them to steal that game, something I've not seen too much. They looked lethargic and a step behind all night.

Dying from health insurance

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/man_succumbs_to_7_year_battle_with?utm_source=onio n_rss_daily

(Yeah, it's a parody, but it sings to me.)

Can we change Mxy's subtitle (or whatever it is) from "NOT TO BE FUCKED WITH" to "watch out for onion breath"?

ta gla.

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/but_if_we_started_dating_it

I think I'd like to hit that bitch for writing that article. I bet she is really a good fuck who don't play those "freinds" games. You're either fucking her or she wants nothing to do with you.

Just the way guys should stop pretending they're not.

I mean, that's me. If you're fugly and fat, maybe I'll wave to you as we pass each other at the grocery store while you are there getting your evening gallons of ice cream, fried chicken, turkey sandwich, five bags of doritos, and all that. But if I see you at the bar, and I'm not shitfaced out of my mind and it's not 10 minutes til close, better stay the fuck away from me. And none of this "nice personality" shit either. You know what a "nice personality" means to me? That you're good looking, like to havce sex with me, feed me, loan me 20 bucks when I want to go to the bar and pick up other chicks, and you NEVER mention a "relationship"--and you let me come over your house to watch football because I can't afford cable.

Seriously, I do NOT want to be friends with chicks because the ONLY chicks I like to hang around with are chicks that I want to or am banging. Period. End of story. And that's how ALL guys are, and if you say you're not, then go buy another Renoir fag boy.

David Letterman is snakes ass. This fuck has turned into a piece of shit. No longer funny, so turn political. He's a fuck face.

Politics = serious business?

Another nail in my 2009 coffin. This has been by far the worst year of my life thus far. The Wings loss is just another blow.

Being drunk from yesterday and having wedding cocktail hour coming up in 6 hours. Although that will only suck for the first two minutes.

Hangovers. I am pretty much done with alcohol but my buddy's bachelor party was last night, so it would have been pretty rude not to at least keep up with the bro-beer buzz that was going around. Today I've had one of the worst hangovers of my life.

The nausea lasted until afternoon, and the tired/stupid feeling is still happening now. The worst part of hangover nausea is that there's nothing you can really do to get rid of it. Even if you throw up it doesn't help.

I think back over what I can remember of last night, and I find a lot of places where I chose unwisely.

* Turning down the Beast and starting with the Jamesons
* Not eating enough at dinner
* Not drinking enough water (the water on the bus wasn't cold, so I didn't feel like drinking it)
* The Philly at the strip club
* The tubes of whatever the fuck it was at the strip club
* The Herbal Jazz Cigarette outside of the strip club
* Whatever it was that I drank after the strip club, which I don't remember doing but word has reached me that in fact I did keep drinking something
* The chips before I went to bed

When you're in a hole, stop digging.

I don't get hangovers.

I don't get hangovers.
Wait a couple years.

I hear ya.

Wait a couple years.

29 and they don't happen to me yet. Drank a case Friday (THANKS WINGS) and while I wasn't overflowing with energy Saturday morning, I wan't at all hungover either.

IMO if you always drink a lot and do it often eventually at some point your body just realises that it's part of the routine.

Back in the day I would have 6 or 7 drinks every night. Eventually I needed to drink more to get the buzz. I ended up drinking half a carton every night and never got a hangover.

It was all part of the day to day life. If I didn't have a drink at all one night it didn't effect my tolerance to it cause the next time I drank I still had to consume half a carton.

On a big night I would drink a 700ml bottle of Rum or Beam or Scotch then have half a carton of beer and then go out and spend $100 on my own drinks. It was part of the Saturday Show.

Now that I don't drink at all (only at a Birthday or BBQ) I can still go through half a bottle of Scotch and not feel it.

BTW, that might sound great but you need to remember that the higher your tolerance the more money you have to spend getting drunk.

What's a "carton"? Is that some sort of metric thing? How many beers in a carton? Or is it just a big carton of beer, like milk, with pictures of your "missing" realatives all over it?

Isn't the point of drinking to get drunk (or at least loose)? Having to drink a lot for it to have an effect sounds like you were fucked. Alcohol tastes like shit. That's why Tahoe drinks pineapple juice twisters or whatever.

What's a "carton"? Is that some sort of metric thing? How many beers in a carton? Or is it just a big carton of beer, like milk, with pictures of your "missing" realatives all over it?
Australians occasionally use "carton of beer" instead of "24-pack".

I call that a case....

Or is it just a big carton of beer, like milk

That actually sounds pretty awesome.

that would be the shit if they dropped it off at your house like a milk man.

Well, here in Oz we have the Beer Man. He brings around this large ass carton of beer and leaves on your doorstep. All you gotta do is remember to leave the money under the welcome mat the night before.

Seriously, a carton of beer is 24 or 30 bottles/cans. We don't call it a case. A case has to be solved - a carton has to be drunk.

And Fool is right - the only reason to drink is to get the buzz or get fucking smashed. The more often you get smashed (in my case it was almost nightly - like a college student) the more it's gonna cost you in the long run.

Like I said - I rarely drink anymore but last month was my fiance's birthday and I managed to drink about 3 quarters of a 1 litre bottle of Scotch in approx 5 hours and I barely got the buzz.

That's extremely disappointing.

Well, here in Oz we have the Beer Man. He brings around this large ass carton of beer and leaves on your doorstep. All you gotta do is remember to leave the money under the welcome mat the night before.
See, that's funny, because here in Detroit we have a Beer Man too. He rides around in a big colorful van with pictures of different beers on it, and he stops when people flag him down and sells beer out of a big window in the side of the van. He comes around only in the summertime, and you know he's coming because he plays this music:
cuw7tcftAoU

http://www.neuticles.com/ultra.php

reconstructive knee surgery.....again

The Pains of Wizzle

The great ones are always the most tormented.

reconstructive knee surgery.....again

What are you, 140 years old?

^feels like it

(they said if I was about 25 years older then they'd just replace it but 30 is apparently too young)

And for the ThreeTweet...Hangovers suck and I have one.

This circuit court judge in Sheboygan seems to be the guy you want if you're a sex offender who wants to get off easy:

http://www.sheboyganpress.com/article/20090622/SHE0101/90622034/1062/SHE01/No-jail-for-Sheboygan-man-who-used-webcam-to-peep-on-teen

http://www.jsonline.com/news/wisconsin/29320024.html

Oklahoma sucks:

http://newsok.com/oklahoma-city-woman-trades-sex-for-case-of-chips/article/3380255

http://newsok.com/attacker-in-oklahoma-city-stun-case-calls-5-year-term-unfair/article/3380447?custom_click=lead_story_photo

Keenan Thompson sucks.

People not immediately paying on ebay suck.

Running out of propane mid-grill.

I need to start rocking the spare tank, I guess.

^ Its a must

When your AC dies in July.

People from Belgium buying in your U.S. only auctions suck. Fucking idiot bastards, really suck.

I just sat through an episode of JAG with my dad. That show sucks really bad.

I know a certain Aussie that would agree with me....

All these damn abbreviations on here. This is like a 16 year old girls forum with all the damn texting abbreviations.

Unless it's LOL (or something as mainstream),

FUCKING TYPE IT OUT DAMMIT!

stfu fag

Doesn't count. Everyone knows that one too.

Evil Keith being MIA.