Meh. I think Miller products are vile....

I knew it! He's as bad as McCauley Caulkin. But at least McCauley Caulkin had an affair with Michael Jackson.

I've said some nasty things about religion, but I am considering joining the Raelian Church. I've been pretty sad as of late and the only thing that can make me happy is a ridiculous religion started up by a retired race car driver.

Have fun digging for gold.

I've said some nasty things about religion, but I am considering joining the Raelian Church. I've been pretty sad as of late and the only thing that can make me happy is a ridiculous religion started up by a retired race car driver.

I know what you mean timbeau. I've been down in the dumps myself, bored as HELLL with this marriage and kids and Omaha Nebraska bullshit. I'd like to find a REAL religion, one that didn;t believe it was the only right one, one that didn;t have some stupid story book full of rules, and one that believed men could have butt sex with as many women as possible, and get as many blow jobs as possible, and one that would finance many trips to brothels in Nevada. And one that believed you could get drunk all the time and take drugs too.
Now I know all you guys are thinking that that is just about any religion, but I just want all the pretense of caring removed.

Seriously, you should read Message From the Designers by Rael, Zip. Even more ridiculous than The Bible, but waaaaaaaaay more entertaining.

I've never heard of such. I'll "google" it right now.

THE MESSAGES

The messages dictated to Rael explain that life on Earth is not the result of random evolution, nor the work of a supernatural 'God'. It is a deliberate creation, using DNA, by a scientifically advanced people who made human beings literally "in their image" -- what one can call "scientific creationism." References to these scientists and their work, as well as to their symbol of infinity, can be found in the ancient texts of many cultures. For example, in Genesis, the Biblical account of Creation, the word "Elohim" has been mistranslated as the singular word "God", but it is actually a plural word which means "those who came from the sky", and the singular is "Eloha" (also known as "Allah"). Indigenous cultures all over the world remember these "gods" who came from the sky, including natives of Africa (Dogon, Twa, etc.), America, Asia, Australia, and Europe.

Leaving our humanity to progress by itself, the Elohim nevertheless maintained contact with us via prophets including Buddha, Moses, Mohammed, etc., all specially chosen and educated by them. The role of the prophets was to progressively educate humanity through the Messages they taught, each adapted to the culture and level of understanding at the time. They were also to leave traces of the Elohim so that we would be able to recognize them as our Creators and fellow human beings when we had advanced enough scientifically to understand them. Jesus, whose father was an Eloha, was given the task of spreading these messages throughout the world in preparation for this crucial time in which we are now privileged to live: the predicted Age Of Revelation.

And most important of all, read the book, "Intelligent Design - Message from the Designers" the book which will revolutionize your thinking, transform your life and which is already changing the world.

http://rael.org/rael_content/rael_summary.php


Great book to read for some laughs. Up there with The Urantia Book for me.

Labatts Blue is good. I get that.

I know I'm about to mark myself, but I don't get beer at all. Like lots of other 14-year-olds, My first beer was Budweiser and I thought it was vile. It really turned me off to beer. Since then people go "no no no, try Rolling Rock, try Blue Moon, try Labatts, try Sierra Nevada, try This One Fancy Beer Only I Know About."

And you know what it all tastes like to me? Beer. The part of my tongue that differentiates one beer from another is broken. I don't understand why it would be just this one thing I could never grow into. I have grown into lots of foods and drinks I didn't like when I was a squirt. I can do anything for love. I can do anything for love. But I won't do that.

Did you just quote a meatloaf song while talking about beer? BANNNNN. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Did you just quote a meatloaf song while talking about beer? BANNNNN. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

I disagree Vinny. It just goes to show the versatility of BEER that it can be incorporated into any context; it's that important.
That Mich was able to artfully work in that Meatloaf song also shows his versatility and intelligence.

I love beer because my battered girlfriend chooses to not hate the playa, but hate the game.

Did you just quote a meatloaf song while talking about beer? BANNNNN. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Laugh all you want, but that silly fat fuck sings his heart and several other organs out on every single song. If I gotta listen to pop love ballads and you give me the choice between Enrique Iglesias and Meat Loaf, I'll have the Meat Loaf please. Don't hate on me because I'm man enough to admit it.

I know I'm about to mark myself, but I don't get beer at all.
Co-signed!

I can drink and enjoy many kinds of alcoholic beverage in moderation, from Long Islands and cognacs that put hair on your chest, to lightweight stuff like a Pinot Grigio white wine that won't. But I can't get into beer.


And you know what it all tastes like to me? Beer. The part of my tongue that differentiates one beer from another is broken. I don't understand why it would be just this one thing I could never grow into.
Yessir!

Beer as a seasoning is ok at times. I'll go for beer-battered fish & chips, for example. But drinking it just doesn't give me much pleasure. I've nursed my way through one glass of most popular flavors of beer over the years, hoping to find something that wouldn't give me that "eww, beer" taste.

FWIW, I have a similar reaction to coffee, but not most caffeine delivery mecahnisms. About the only time I might order a coffee is in the context of oriental iced coffee, but even then, I'm just experimenting.

I love the beer battered fish and chips, except for two things: The batter and the fish. So I skip that part.

I have much respect for people who enjoy beer. If they like to drink Budweiser, I think, "good for them," even though Budweiser is pretty gross even to people who like beer. So in my earnest attempt to not look like a total vagina, I've worked very hard over the years to cultivate a taste for other manly alcoholic beverages.

The problem is, there aren't that many alcoholic beverages that have a distinctly manly style.

* Rum reminds me of pirates (pretty manly) but it also reminds me of the Kids In The Hall sketch "Girl Drink Drunk" where Kevin MacDonald is supposed to be at a meeting at work, but instead he's locked himself in a closet with a blender and a coconut (not manly).

* Vodka reminds me of Russian gangsters (manly) but it also reminds me of cosmopolitans and Sex In The City (not at all manly).

* Bourbon reminds me of rednecks racing their cars off cliffs (manly) but it also reminds me of Southern Comfort, which is seriously the most god-awfully sweet teenage party liquor in the history of the world (not manly).

* Wine is good. I like wine a lot. I drink a ton of it. But I'm not going to pretend it's manly. It's something I drink with my friends when we have to admit that we're too old to have real fun anymore.

* Tequila is damn strong, and it makes me vomit (manly) but it also seems to make college girls go bisexual (not manly, but thank you Jesus).

So I've settled on the fact that there are 2 other liquors that you can drink and still prove your manhood: scotch whiskey and gin.

* Scotch whiskey is a punishing liquor. Everyone's got a story about how they lost control over some bodily function or another while drinking scotch whiskey. Girls don't touch scotch because generally, they can get just as drunk drinking Amaretto sours. And let's face it, a person who's drunk on scotch stinks of it for miles.

* Gin. Gin may be the manliest drink in the world, maybe even more than beer. It tastes like jet fuel mixed with Pine-Sol. It also gives you Gin Face. If you're not familiar with Gin Face, it's the face you make when you're wondering "god damn, why did I swallow that? That's got to be poison." Anyone can look and talk like Clint Eastwood. All it takes is gin.

^That's funny

What's your take on Jagermeister?

Budweiser is one of the top selling beers. So its not gross to peeps who drink beer. Its a domestic beer and now that the micros are taking over it doesn't have the market share it once did, but I'm thinking all the peeps that are buying it aren't spending all that money and watering their lawn with it.

Budweiser is one of the top selling beers. So its not gross to peeps who drink beer. Its a domestic beer and now that the micros are taking over it doesn't have the market share it once did, but I'm thinking all the peeps that are buying it aren't spending all that money and watering their lawn with it.
I'm not saying it isn't popular. I'm just saying people got suckered into getting hooked on it. Millions of people pay $25 a month for AOL dial up too, that doesn't make it a good product. It just means they are good at marketing it.

I like the "Gin Face", but I've always thought it makes you look like Chalres Bronson taking a shit.

^That's funny

What's your take on Jagermeister?

Jagermeister is like cough syrup - but instead of curing coughs, it cures the condition of not being in jail.

I saw a guy on Comic View one day who was talking about how no one likes crackheads, even people who do other drugs. He put on an act like he was a guy at a concert smoking a blunt, and he looks over and sees people smoking crack. "Oh shit! I didn't know they were going to be doing drugs in here!"

That's how I feel about Jagermeister. I'll drink the most hellish, poisonous liquors in the world, but when the Jager is busted out, that's my cue to leave. It only takes a few hours of Jager drinking before someone or something is arrested, beaten up, puked on, or set on fire. I like to read books and fuckin' listen to Steely Dan. I'm not built for being set on fire, man.

ha ha

I've always referred to Jager as "Formula 44D".

Mich:

Dead on, as usual. Jagr usually comes out when guys think they have enough courage to start a fight or ask some chick to dance.
Either way, it's a sign that things are about to get ugly.

I'm not saying it isn't popular. I'm just saying people got suckered into getting hooked on it. Millions of people pay $25 a month for AOL dial up too, that doesn't make it a good product. It just means they are good at marketing it.

That was to Mich & Tele, but good points anyway.

I was born and raised in Bay City so maybe the bar is low for me. Sorry BC.

BEER is the All American drink. It's something you can have a cuple, three, four of and not get smashed. If I have four rum 'n cokes, I'm tanked. Beer is the good ol back slappin', your 1000 year old jokes are funny, I'd get mad if I didn;t have to piss every thirty four seconds, let's watch the game, hey, check that chick out (but I'm still too chicken to talk to her) drink.
Some of the other things about beer: You can;t drink enough of it to convince yourself that you can dance. Even when they break out the KC and the Sunshine Band an hour before closing time.
2) You can still laugh at yourself while drunk on it. You get soused on Tequila, and when your buddy talks about that time you were raped in prison (but admitted to liking it a little bit), it's "break the cue stick over his face" time. On beer, you just say something like, "HAHAAH! Like the time I fucked your wife in the ear!", and he laughs too.
3) Beer is the king of the "well, I;ve got ten bucks, and I've got nothing to eat, so I better get some beer"--it has barley and hops; it's nutricious.
4) Beer is the ONE thing you know everybody will have. This comes in handy when your wife's sister comes over with her fuckhead husband, who you hate, and you have nothing to say. EXCEPT: "Hey Leif, how about a beer"--then you guys are best buds (note: You do this with rum 'n cokes, and you're for sure to kill him before dinner)
Lastly, most of the times I've gotten sloshed and beat my wife senseless I was drunk on hard liquor.
Wow, did I say that out loud?

Fair enough. When you slap a guy on the back and say "how about a shot of whiskey" it generally means you are both about to go hunting and one of you is not coming back. Beer is a much friendlier drink.

I can't resist it:

Who do you hunt with, Dick Cheney?

My quick take... all beer is yummy and I love Jager which, doesnt precede a fight with me. Ironically I hate licorice but I love Jager, go figure. The only things I dont drink are scotch (which my stepdad drinks exclusively) and I have to have good vodka if any vodka.

I associate Jager with a friend of mine throwing up in my car.

Speaking of which... I don't get so drunk that I start leaking out of all my orifices after collapsing in a bathroom.

Why isn't there a reverse dictionary? And no, a thesaurus is not the same thing.

I can't resist it:

Who do you hunt with, Dick Cheney?

No, I go hunting with Ned Beatty and Burt Reynolds. Why? Is that weird?

EDIT: Why is English such a stupid goddamn complicated language? It's part German, part Danish, part French, part Celtic, and part Old Norse. It's a big jambalaya of mixed-up influences with no consistent rules. When you speak Italian, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Romanian, Provencal, Catalan, basically all you're doing is speaking Latin with a funny accent, and Latin has rules and structure and it's pretty much almost impossible to misinterpret what someone says because everything is so specific. English sucks ass and I for one will welcome our new Mexican overlords when they arrive because at least then we will be speaking a language that makes sense.

My girlfriend's Mexican and I'm starting to learn Spanish more and more every day. Whether I want to or not doesn't matter. :emo kid:

¿Mujer, donde esta mi zapatos?

I'm only dating a Mexican because they're easier to control.

Congratulations on finally coming into contact with the opposite sex.

Zip, it's not all that it's cracked up to be. I think I'm going to dump her and order a fleshlight next time I get paid.

en el armario y en pie

Was that on Pulp?

Update on the girlfriend thing. I took her to Cali for a week, she texted "other guy" the whole time. We got back, I had sex with her a few times, then I told her we were done. Thanks for the support fellas.

So you gonna move onto that Asian chick next?

Congratulations on your pump & dump.

You know what Jack Handey says: If you love someone, set them free. If they return to you, set them on fire.

I don't get why do so many people spell the word "article" as "artical".

Here's a few that bother me:

People who still say "IRregardless" event though that non word may be the most discussed abuse of the English Language this side of Stephon Marbury.

People (Mostly ESPN ex-jock "analysts") who say "each and every" time, day, player, etc . Isn't that just a bit more than being a touch of somewhat of a little bit of a redundancy?

People who still say "IRregardless" event though that non word may be the most discussed abuse of the English Language this side of Stephon Marbury.
I don't get no double negatives.

ESPN analysts are trained, taught, and developed by the Department of Redundancy Department.

Here's a few that bother me:

People who still say "IRregardless" event though that non word may be the most discussed abuse of the English Language this side of Stephon Marbury.

People (Mostly ESPN ex-jock "analysts") who say "each and every" time, day, player, etc . Isn't that just a bit more than being a touch of somewhat of a little bit of a redundancy?

It's a very thin line between "not getting something" and pet peeves. (http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6527)

Tread lightly here, that goes for all of us.

PM warning issued to Zip.

I'm not sure about moving on to the asian chick. She has a smell to her. Its not bad, really, just odd. I don't know if its bad perfume, bad deoderant, or just BO. I need to figure that out and solve the problem though because she's been waiting for me.......

I don't get why the smell bothers me. Its not bad, really, just different.

I'm not sure about moving on to the asian chick. She has a smell to her. Its not bad, really, just odd. I don't know if its bad perfume, bad deoderant, or just BO. I need to figure that out and solve the problem though because she's been waiting for me.......

I don't get why the smell bothers me. Its not bad, really, just different.

Could be food. What does she eat normally? Is she a first/second generation immigrant? Some of my better friends are Indian, first generation American, and there's not necessarily a bad smell but you can tell when they've eaten authentic indian food, it's just a weird odor from the spices, kind of comes out the pores.

It could be incense.

I'm not sure about moving on to the asian chick. She has a smell to her. Its not bad, really, just odd. I don't know if its bad perfume, bad deoderant, or just BO. I need to figure that out and solve the problem though because she's been waiting for me.......

I don't get why the smell bothers me. Its not bad, really, just different.

You better stay away from that. If she smells that bad normally, imagine the smell "down there".

I don't get why old people drive huge cars. They are the worst drivers and yet they have huge cars that they can't park properly. I think a big part of it is that the cars were always big for them (in size) and they probably just don't want change. So what. Get a smaller and nice car that you can actually park and not hit everyone with. I cringe ever time I see some old lady that's 4 feet tall trying to see over the hood of her crown victoria.

I don't get why YOUNG people drive huge cars (SUV's, minivans). Any real need for a big hunk of metal that takes 800 bucks to fill up and actually causes more deaths than any other vehicle type?

I don't get why YOUNG people drive huge cars (SUV's, minivans). Any real need for a big hunk of metal that takes 800 bucks to fill up and actually causes more deaths than any other vehicle type?
That's why I drive a Jetta. Who needs a big gas-sucking car? I'm not rolling around with more than 5 people ever, and if I did I'd have someone drive a seperate car and we'd still get better gas mileage.

I don't get why YOUNG people drive huge cars (SUV's, minivans). Any real need for a big hunk of metal that takes 800 bucks to fill up and actually causes more deaths than any other vehicle type?

I have an SUV. It's a Mariner (Mercury version of Escape) though so it's compact. Enough room for 4 adults and the 95 pound dog in the back end. Small enough to parallel park and also gets 25 MPG.

Someone made a spoiler post about the newest Potter book in all white text. I don't get why I can't remember who posted it or where it was. Now that I'm done with the book I wanted to read it. Anyone remember?

It was me, in the Drunk Thread. (http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4035&page=15)

Thanks. Why exactly was that in the Drunk thread?

I don't get the appeal of Harry Potter, at least not compared to a number of other fantasy sagas. I suspect it's better appreciated when you're drunk.

I don't get the appeal of Harry Potter, at least not compared to a number of other fantasy sagas. I suspect it's better appreciated when you're drunk.
I bought the first one randomly at a book fair in elementary school when it had JUST come out. Thought it was a pretty good book as an elementary schooler, and it just kind of grew on me from there. I'm not a "go out and wait in line for it" kind of guy, but when a friend who had the new one had finished reading it, I borrowed it for something to read at work. There's probably nothing that makes it better than the other fantasy sagas, other than the fact that the characters kind of grew up with you if you started reading it as a kid.

Thanks. Why exactly was that in the Drunk thread?

I told him I planned on getting wasted and driving around the night of the release and spoiling the book for everyone.

I don't get the appeal of Harry Potter, at least not compared to a number of other fantasy sagas. I suspect it's better appreciated when you're drunk.

I agree with this.

God help me, I'm about to defend the Harry Potter books.

The thing about the Harry Potter books that makes them good is the fact that they are so mundane. The story isn't about the magic or the fantasy - plenty of writers focus all their story on magic and fantasy and they end up producing boring garbage that goes on for 1000 pages.

Let's take another fantasy writer - JRR Tolkien. What made his books so great was the fact that Bilbo, Frodo, and Sam are characters anyone can relate to. At the end of the story when Frodo has to go away, it was extremely relevant to anyone who had seen relatives come back from World War II damaged beyond repair. As a writer, he failed when he focused all of his efforts on the technical aspects of the world he created. Some of his best writing is actually located in the Appendix of the Lord of the Rings, and his life's work, The Silmarillion, is an absolutely unreadable jumble of unidentifiable characters and events. Those facts together go to show that he had no idea what it was that made his writing so popular.

When you get right down to it, the Harry Potter books aren't about the Hogwarts school, they're not about dark magic, they're not about wizards. They're about kids, growing up, dealing with life, making tough decisions, sometimes understanding that life isn't fair, realizing that even in a world of magic there are government officers and money problems and personal limitations. It's the exact opposite of fantasy writing.

Now here's something I don't get: Macomb County. I don't get Warren or Roseville or Romeo or any of those places. Why all the Catholic churches? Why all the tough-guy guidos with modified cars, spiky hairdos, and fake tans? Life is just different out there, and I feel like every time I'm on Gratiot I might as well be on Mars.

I don't get why the police chief in nearly every city has the last name "Dolan".

I don't get "unboxing" updates. I read a couple tech news websites and a couple mobile phone websites (now that I'm newly interested in them) and whenever a site gets the new thing its going to review they all do an "unboxing". If you are unfamiliar with the process let me explain it to you. They video themselves OPENING THE FUCKING BOX. That's it. Here are the manuals. Here are the cords. He's the thing. End. Who fucking wants to see these? So dumb.

I'm glad I realize that there's more to life than stuff.

I don't get why all cars don't come with extenders on the sun visors. It's a safety issue, just like mirrors, seat belts, etc. It's damn hard to drive dogding between the mirror and the visors for shade when the sun is directly betweem them. MAKE IT STANDARD ON ALL CARS!

And for that matter, all wiper systems should have AT LEAST 5-6 speeds. I'm sick of cars with 3 fucking settings. That's another safety issue.

Don't tell me I need a luxery car to see through my damn windshield properly.

I don't get why all cars don't come with extenders on the sun visors. It's a safety issue, just like mirrors, seat belts, etc. It's damn hard to drive dogding between the mirror and the visors for shade when the sun is directly betweem them. MAKE IT STANDARD ON ALL CARS!
I'm not so sure on the "all cars" part. I was recently in a VW New Beetle. They have this huge dashboard, easily big enough to put an extra large pizza on it. I found out that the spacing between the front seat and the windshield is such that sun visors are pretty-much useless, and tinted glass is the only option.

God help me, I'm about to defend the Harry Potter books.
I don't get atheists who say "God help me". :)

(Seriously, I know what being culturally Christian is about.)


The thing about the Harry Potter books that makes them good is the fact that they are so mundane. The story isn't about the magic or the fantasy - plenty of writers focus all their story on magic and fantasy and they end up producing boring garbage that goes on for 1000 pages.
I don't get 1000+ page novels and book publishers who want to pay by the word in today's day and age. When a novel (as opposed to reference book) is too big to hold for long stretches, even though the print is too small and the paper is shitty to accomodate, split the bitch up and make the author write more tightly so it's a better read.


Let's take another fantasy writer - JRR Tolkien. What made his books so great was the fact that Bilbo, Frodo, and Sam are characters anyone can relate to. At the end of the story when Frodo has to go away, it was extremely relevant to anyone who had seen relatives come back from World War II damaged beyond repair. As a writer, he failed when he focused all of his efforts on the technical aspects of the world he created. Some of his best writing is actually located in the Appendix of the Lord of the Rings, and his life's work, The Silmarillion, is an absolutely unreadable jumble of unidentifiable characters and events. Those facts together go to show that he had no idea what it was that made his writing so popular.
The Silmarillion was never put out by J.R.R. Tolkien, but by his son. It's just a bunch of notes Tolkien had written about what he thought his world would be like at many stages (many of them pre-Hobbit and pre-LotR) that was never in a publishable state. If Rowling spent decades coming up with her world and someone took Rowling's notes (some in the form of prose) about her world from before the first Harry Potter book was published and it was half-formed and contradictory with the published text, you'd have The Silmarillion.


When you get right down to it, the Harry Potter books aren't about the Hogwarts school, they're not about dark magic, they're not about wizards. They're about kids, growing up, dealing with life, making tough decisions, sometimes understanding that life isn't fair, realizing that even in a world of magic there are government officers and money problems and personal limitations. It's the exact opposite of fantasy writing.
Good fantasy writing makes you care about the characters, not just some goob's idea of a new magic system. Good science fiction isn't about showing how aliens are cooler than humans.

I don't get kid protagonists much, though, and never really got the appeal of most kid protagonists back when I was a kid. I really never got kid sidekicks. Most of the time I cared about a kid character, it was because the adults had to respect the character and not pull bullshit hiding of key info to protect the kid (a staple of kid fiction). I was never big into reading about other people getting shit upon even as I was getting shit upon, unless at the end those getting abused establish a new world order. Here's a children's character I would've related to had I grown up in the '90s:

http://www.internationalhero.co.uk/b/brain1.jpg


Now here's something I don't get: Macomb County. I don't get Warren or Roseville or Romeo or any of those places. Why all the Catholic churches? Why all the tough-guy guidos with modified cars, spiky hairdos, and fake tans? Life is just different out there, and I feel like every time I'm on Gratiot I might as well be on Mars.
Co-signed! The very first bit of guidance I gave my realtor was "not Macomb County".

I'm not so sure on the "all cars" part. I was recently in a VW New Beetle. They have this huge dashboard, easily big enough to put an extra large pizza on it. I found out that the spacing between the front seat and the windshield is such that sun visors are pretty-much useless, and tinted glass is the only option.

you are missing the point. If it needs to be tinted, so be it. My point is that a lack of shade and wiper settings can contribute to accidents for sure. the safety industry spends all this time on crash tests but how about actually requiring some basic shit to prevent them?

I don't get kid protagonists much, though, and never really got the appeal of most kid protagonists back when I was a kid. I really never got kid sidekicks. Most of the time I cared about a kid character, it was because the adults had to respect the character and not pull bullshit hiding of key info to protect the kid (a staple of kid fiction). I was never big into reading about other people getting shit upon even as I was getting shit upon, unless at the end those getting abused establish a new world order.

Orson Scott Card - Ender's Game

Orson Scott Card - Ender's Game

I spent many foolish years reading Card books until I had to come to the bitter conclusion that Ender's Game was the only good one. The rest are a split between "good idea executed poorly" and "god damn, this is insufferable crap."

He really blew his load with Ender's Game and now he's just a right-wing religious creep living in a LDS compound in North Carolina.

EDIT: and I got a chance to read his Ender's Game script treatment when it was online, and ... UGH. It's awful. It's basically been rewritten to be cutesy, like it was gonna star the kid from The Little Vampire and be directed by Steven Spielberg.

You know. I don't think I've read another Card book. I've read the Ender series but nothing outside of it. But then, SCI-FI isn't really my bag.

I don't get how on Maury when a slut is on for her 17th paternity test they cheer for her yet they boo the guy every time, when he would have every right to deny the child.

I don't get how on Maury when a slut is on for her 17th paternity test they cheer for her yet they boo the guy every time, when he would have every right to deny the child.

I don't get why you watched the previous 16 times.

j/k, I am with you on that one (i've only seen a couple Maury's, but they are all that way).

Yeah Chris, I really need to get a job...I spend all morning watching talk shows, it's sad really.

My girlfriend watches Maury almost every morning and its the same shit every time. After a while it gets predicatable.

When I was in my 20s I stopped watching TV for a few years, and I didn't really miss it. I had a green plastic 17" tv set with knobs (old-skool, no remote, motherbitches) and it sat in my closet.

When I found a roommate he moved in with a tv set and we got cable. I got up one morning and watched TV for the first time in years. It was Jerry Springer. This is what I saw:

There was a wedding taking place. It was between a dwarf man and a full-size woman. Just before she says "I do", another dwarf comes running from backstage, screaming, "I won't let you do this!" He then climbs onto a table and does a belly-flop onto the wedding cake.

I called in sick to work.

That sounded kind of cool so I searched for it.

This is not it, but this was the first result that came back from the search.

p7yAkxkm6GQ

Believe it or not I have seen that clip before. It's pretty stupid considering the one dwarf can't even fight back (has to grab a chair to stand up).

Actually the best of all the daytime trash talk shows was Ricki Lake. That shit was non-stop hilarity. My sister made a VHS recording of The Best Of "You're Not All That" from the Ricki Lake show and it was her most prized possession. Basically it's an hour of barely functional human beings telling each other things like "stop goin' to the dance club, you know you only got one leg."

I laughed so hard at that shit I started coughing like Val Kilmer in Tombstone.

I DON'T GET: outsiders who talk bad about Detroit. Listen - I can call my sister a bitch but if you call my sister a bitch, you're going to catch a brick. The same applies to how people talk about the D. If you're from here, we can complain to each other all we want. But NBA analysts from LA who open up their mouths about Detroit's "hard times" can break the fuck out.

I DON'T GET: outsiders who talk bad about Detroit. Listen - I can call my sister a bitch but if you call my sister a bitch, you're going to catch a brick. The same applies to how people talk about the D. If you're from here, we can complain to each other all we want. But NBA analysts from LA who open up their mouths about Detroit's "hard times" can break the fuck out.

Those same people also drive cars that were invented and mass produced here (though less so now). it's like making fun of garbage men as they are cleaning up your shit from the sidewalk.

Actually the best of all the daytime trash talk shows was Ricki Lake. That shit was non-stop hilarity. My sister made a VHS recording of The Best Of "You're Not All That" from the Ricki Lake show and it was her most prized possession. Basically it's an hour of barely functional human beings telling each other things like "stop goin' to the dance club, you know you only got one leg."

I laughed so hard at that shit I started coughing like Val Kilmer in Tombstone.




I agree, Ricki Lake was some funny shit...as was Jenny Jones.

My girlfriend watches Maury almost every morning and its the same shit every time. After a while it gets predicatable.
Zekyl, you are NOT the father!

Zekyl, you are NOT the father!
(girl falls down crying, i look sad and say i'll still take care of the child even though i now know its not mine, even though we all know i'm not going to give a shit about it as soon as i leave the studio, just saving face on camera)

I also love how when Maury reads lie detector test results to girls who suspect their men are cheating, he pulls them back and tells them "there's more" LOL Maury is one sick fuck.

Montel's pretty entertaining too when that bitch Sylvia Browne is on.

Haven't watched Springer in a while.

...and The View totally rocks.

I don't get why I woke up screaming at 5 am this morning with a rock hard muscle cramp in my calf the size of a baseball.

Fucker still hurts.

I don't get why I woke up screaming at 5 am this morning with a rock hard muscle cramp in my calf the size of a baseball.

Fucker still hurts.

Tell your wife to stop being a cheap shot artist in the night.

Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait...........

Tim, did you just say the View rocks?!?!

If I did it would be there in black text, which it's not.


....oops.

I love doing that in my posts.

even when they aren't caught.

I don't get why I woke up screaming at 5 am this morning with a rock hard muscle cramp in my calf the size of a baseball.

Fucker still hurts.

I believe its potassium that helps that out. Eat a banana every day or take a vitamin pill.

I believe its potassium that helps that out. Eat a banana every day or take a vitamin pill.

Or just have your wife punch you in the other leg to balance things out.

AUUGGHHH!!!

"Honey, that wasn't my leg!!!!!!"

A lot of people make that mistake with me.

I don't get why every single song is so formulaic.

First Verse
Chorus
Second Verse
Chorus
Half verse with background music change to get you pumped up and ready for:
Chorus with emphasis
Chorus with more emphasis

Name me one song within the past 10-15 years that isn't like that.

Tequila?

Oh, sorry, that's more than 15 years old.

Great karaoke song, though.

I don't get why every single song is so formulaic.

First Verse
Chorus
Second Verse
Chorus
Half verse with background music change to get you pumped up and ready for:
Chorus with emphasis
Chorus with more emphasis

Name me one song within the past 10-15 years that isn't like that.

Music is written a certain way because it's tried and true. Our ears expect to hear certain things, and when our expectations are met, most people walk away satisfied. Like electronic dance music - for some reason, when we hear a beat pulse at 135 beats per minute, it causes our brains to respond in a peculiar way. So just about every single electronic dance track is around that speed.

But I'll name you an entire band that isn't like that: Radiohead. In fact, the "OK COMPUTER" record is 10 years old, and it's pretty much a thesis on unconventional song structures and asymmetric phrases, and it's a damn good album.

I don't get why I woke up screaming at 5 am this morning with a rock hard muscle cramp in my calf the size of a baseball.

Fucker still hurts.


I don't get why you are upset about waking up with a rock hard muscle. I thought at your age that couldn't happen anymore . . . .

I don't get why I can take a half hour afternoon nappy and wake up more rested than a nights sleep.

A night's sleep is actually not natural in most cases. Humans are built to sleep in short bursts, many times in a day. Up for an hour, down for a half hour, all throughout the day.

I think you should jerk off right before going to bed at night.

A night's sleep is actually not natural in most cases involving sex before bed. Men are built to sleep afterwards, while women want cuddling and to talk and talk, all throughout the night.

Here's something I don't get: people who ask me for help for a computer problem without bothering to collect information first.

"I tried to do something with MS Word and I couldn't do it."
What do you mean, 'I couldn't do it'?
"I got an error message."
What were you trying to do?
"I don't remember."
What did the error message say?
"Not sure. I just clicked 'OK' and it went away."
Shut up and never call me again.

Here's something I don't get: people who ask me for help for a computer problem without bothering to collect information first.

"I tried to do something with MS Word and I couldn't do it."
What do you mean, 'I couldn't do it'?
"I got an error message."
What were you trying to do?
"I don't remember."
What did the error message say?
"Not sure. I just clicked 'OK' and it went away."
Shut up and never call me again.
I don't get why OS and apps developers don't treated errors as something worth capturing and viewing, and not something they expect the user to scribble down on a notepad. Ubiquitous one-keystroke screen dumping, a "logging" option in addition to the "Ok" or "yes/no"-variant GUI error, log reviewing tools that doesn't take an "expert" to access or drive, etc. Of course, given some of the shitty vague ass crap that passes for error messages, many times spewed without searchability in mind, I guess I don't get why some folks even bother with error messages. Just rip 'em out, say your shit works great, defy the user to prove otherwise.

I don't get why are Prepaid Expenses Assets and not Liabilities? And what is the point of posting AND journalizing while doing basic accounting?? Why not just do one, and save some time.


Also, I don't get why Grosse Pointe is broken down into 5 mini cities (Farms, Shores, Woods...etc.) Why not just have one big Grosse Pointe?


I also don't get why on Armageddon, when they are dis-assembling the nuke after Crnl. Sharp activated it, the last 5 seconds is drawn out into almost a minute as they decide wether to cut the red or the blue cord. Also why didn't they just let Rockhound stay on the meterorite and blow it up rather than Harry, since Rock Hound offered to do it in the first place.

"That's my father!"

Because the "expense" has already been "credited" out of your "cash" or other liquid assets. Since the actual expense hasn't occured the amount of the expense is still a property of yours (an "asset", something of value for you to claim). Thus it must be debited in some form in order to reflect a balanced sheet. Once the expense actually occurs it gets credited as a normal expense and the utility or whatever through which you incurred the expense recieves the fee as a debit on their books.

Accounting is like karma or zen. Balance is the only focus.

I dont get why anybody would give a second thought to the movie Armageddon.

You know when you were a kid and went to go see E.T. in the theater, and when the bikes all took off and starting flying through the air, someone in the theater was all like "pfff, yeah right!"

That was Ledezma.




now mine:
I don't get why Marvin Gaye is dead.

Because bullets hurt?

I don't get why Marvin Gaye is dead.
My old man told me: "Son, I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." It's one of the few things I got, that Marvin Gaye ultimately didn't get.

I'm hot just like an oven, I need some lovin'!

I don't get when a black singer or group sings a song without playing any instruments it's considered R&B, but when a white singer or group sings a song with nearly an identical beat, it's considered pop.

And why aren't groups like B2K considered "boy bands?"

:thatsracist:

You know when you were a kid and saw E.T. over a friend's house on TBS, and when the bikes all took off and starting flying through the air, someone there was all like "pfff, yeah right!"

Fixed for those of us without AARP cards.

You go to hell. You go to hell and you die!
http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x147/dspiewak/0000035795_20061116111126.jpg

Why my mom's mom tried killing me when I was a baby.

And why don't we have a "cogent" or "tenuous, at best" GIF?

Gentlemen, I present to you: cogent.png.

http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x147/dspiewak/cogent.png

LOL

Well done.

Do we have another resident graphic artist to call on now?

Not me, and I don't get why the odds of me having to take a shit increase exponentially by the distance or inaccessibility to a shitter.

I dont get why when you are forced to piss in the bottle you always have to piss more than will fit in said bottle

I dont get why when you are forced to piss in the bottle you always have to piss more than will fit in said bottle
I don't get why some of the rooms where you have to piss in a bottle have a faucet but no fucking soap or towels.

I don;t get why my Edible Urinal Cakes business nver caught on.

I want to know why there is a dude in washrooms to dry my hands. Do I get paid to dry my own hands? Go Away buddy.....and stop checking me out at the pisser i know you're watching

No love for the porter.

Bukdow's username.

Not me, and I don't get why the odds of me having to take a shit increase exponentially by the distance or inaccessibility to a shitter.

And yet conversely when I have to take a piss real bad, I'm all right until I hit the front door where immediately my body decides it's time to open the floodgates and I have to now sprint to the bathroom.

And yet conversely when I have to take a piss real bad, I'm all right until I hit the front door where immediately my body decides it's time to open the floodgates and I have to now sprint to the bathroom.

I agree. Also, I sit at work for hours and then 2 minutes to 5:00 I suddenly have to take a piss.

I want to know why there is a dude in washrooms to dry my hands. Do I get paid to dry my own hands? Go Away buddy.....and stop checking me out at the pisser i know you're watching

I have no idea, but I'm guessing you see that you probably see that kind of shit in bougie restaurants and nightclubs.

Come on, that guy has probably got the most shit job you'll ever see in your life. Offer to take him out in the parking lot and smoke him up.

I don't get why all bad things happen in a 2 day stretch.

My gf hadn't been in the mood for a while, we hadn't done anything for about 3 weeks (granted the middle week was that time of the month). We got in a big argument (not about this), things went sour, i broke up with her, 2 days later she's saying she was going to ask me to come have lunch with her but didn't want anything to happen because she really wants to fuck me..............wtf

Also, my car died, blown head gasket I think. I highly doubt I'll have the money to fix it anytime soon......

Also, my boss called me to personally bitch at me about something a coworker did and blamed on me......

All this in the last two days.

I don't get why all bad things happen in a 2 day stretch.

My gf hadn't been in the mood for a while, we hadn't done anything for about 3 weeks (granted the middle week was that time of the month). We got in a big argument (not about this), things went sour, i broke up with her, 2 days later she's saying she was going to ask me to come have lunch with her but didn't want anything to happen because she really wants to fuck me..............wtf

Also, my car died, blown head gasket I think. I highly doubt I'll have the money to fix it anytime soon......

Also, my boss called me to personally bitch at me about something a coworker did and blamed on me......

All this in the last two days.


Of course your gf wasn't in the mood - she's in a relationship. The second she's out of the relationship, back to needing sex.

That's how they work.


She'll call you for the next couple of weeks as a booty call, btw. Take advantage of that while you look for someone new.

Motown is right, as usual. This girl just wants mad sex. This is definitely the time to go for the ass. Don't be a prude. Be rough. Have some good booze in the fridge, and some good porn in the dvd player.
Give her the raunch she is subconsciously demanding.
Then make her pay for your car.

Motown is right, as usual. This girl just wants mad sex. This is definitely the time to go for the ass. Don't be a prude. Be rough. Have some good booze in the fridge, and some good porn in the dvd player.
Give her the raunch she is subconsciously demanding.
Then make her pay for your car.

http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x147/dspiewak/tenuous.png

International Talk Like A Pirate Day ........

http://matrix.millersamuel.com/wp-content/9-2006/pirate.jpg

although I do enjoy the Rum

http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x147/dspiewak/tenuous.png

You should start a seperate thread and put these in there so they don't get buried.

Well done.

Well, give me a list of WTF catchphrases, point me toward the threads where they came from, and I'll go nuts creating them. I've got Visio here at work.

Explain this BS to me:

I have a bunch of applications in at varius places in the Denver area. I call many of those places to let them know that I will be in town (I was last friday), and that if they'd like to interview me I will be out there. One lady calls me and tells me they want to set up an interview. I explain I will be in Mexico up until that day and won't have phone service so she says she'll leave a message as to what time to meet. I'll get the message when I fly in and know what time to meet.

I get no message, no email at all. Then yesterday, I get an email from the company (not from the lady) saying I was not selected for an interview. What a load of crap. I call the lady and ask her what the deal is and she says apparently they didn't take her reccomendation to interview me. First off, she never said it was a reccomendation to anyone, she said SHE wanted to set up and interview with me. I took that as it being her choice. Second, if they didn't want to interview me, the professional thing would have been to leave a message stating that. Especially since I had 4 other companies interested in interviewing that day (2 of which I did).

Instead she wasted my time, time I spent on vacation paying to check email and international calls to voice mail. What a bunch of bull shit.

I'm thinking of letting her bosses know about this, but I am going to wait until I have a job lined up before starting any fires. What do you think I should do?

HR people are seriously the worst people in the world. They act like they always have ten thousand people trying to get the job you're applying for, and they have "so many applicants" that they "don't have time" to do the normal kinds of things that you are supposed to do when you're a polite, decent human being, like keep you informed of your progress. When you go to work in HR you find that everyone else has just resorted to being an asshole in order to get through their day, so there's not much point in trying to be polite yourself if people are just going to regard you as inefficient.

I can tell you exactly what happened with the lady you spoke with: you told her about being in Mexico and how she should just leave you a message, and she threw your resume in the trash. "Oh no," she said, "this guy has a unique situation and I have to do something out of my routine in order to deal with him. I don't have time for that."

I'm thinking of letting her bosses know about this, but I am going to wait until I have a job lined up before starting any fires. What do you think I should do?

Sleep with her husband.

The letter sounds like a good idea and waiting till you are secure sounds like an even better one. By then you probably won't care anyway and the poor lady stuck in a job she hates won't get fired and be forced to live off SPAM while trying to afford college for her triplets.

Sleep with her husband? What?

That will fix her.

Sleep with her husband? What?

Don't act like you haven't thought about it.

Fuck her daughters... worked for Darko.

That will fix her.

I think that would teach me a lesson too.

How about I just send Darko over there?

Slacker.

GET SOME!

Husband, daughters, hell, invite them all.

http://assets.espn.go.com/media/insider/2003/0529/photo/a_milicic_il.jpg

"Come on baby, it'll only sting for a second. I'm the Darko."

http://assets.espn.go.com/media/insider/2003/0529/photo/a_milicic_il.jpg

"Come on baby, it'll only sting for a second. I'm the Darko."

Nice Frosting....he looks like a rabid turkey

I don't get why mash potatoes don't nuke worth a damn. You have to put them in way WAY ahead of time. Then they get so hot they burn your mouth.

http://assets.espn.go.com/media/insider/2003/0529/photo/a_milicic_il.jpg

Looks like he should be in a boy band.

I don't get why mash potatoes don't nuke worth a damn. You have to put them in way WAY ahead of time. Then they get so hot they burn your mouth.

I don't get why regardless of the food, the plate (if you use a standard plate, not a microwavable one) is 1,000 degrees when you get the food hot enough.

I dont get why you are putting a non-microwavable plate in the microwave.

Everything tastes better with lava.

I dont get why you are putting a non-microwavable plate in the microwave.

cogent

because I don't hold tupperwear parties in my house and don't have microwavable plates. we have tupperwear comtainers with lids and such, but not plates like that. I'm sure we will when we have kids that will drop plates.

You dont need plastic to be microwavable. All my microwavable stuff is porcelain or pyrex. I dont think I own any tupperware. Some porcelain stuff that claims to be microwavable isnt so reliable... Ive blown up a couple plates after theyve been in the microwave for eight or nine minutes.

We have your standard white dishes. Not sure what the material is. Probably a porcelain or something. the top doesn't get hot, it's the rim on the bottom (the flat edge that sits on the table) where it doesn't have a smooth porcelain finish. it's rough like exposed stone basically. That rim gets super hot.

Standard, plain old Corelle plates like you get at K-Mart are microwaveable, and them shits are practically indestructible. You can drop them full of food from 5 feet and all you get is a kitchen full of food and a plate bouncing off the floor.

LOL@K-Mart

I don't get why you can't begin a sentence with "say" anymore.

"Say, brother, what's happening?"

"Say, mister, you've sure got a swell car."

I'm going to start getting people's attention by saying "Say..." all the time now, just to see if I can get it to come back in style. Not a goddamn thing about life in America has improved significantly since 1980.

Say ...
http://www.wmexperts.com/articleimages/Picture%204-4.jpg
Ka-pow!

Why ESPN feels the need to have an hour and a half long pre game show before MNF every week.

Not even the 90 minutes... Ive been at home all day and they've had about five hours of football. NFL Live, NFL Primetime, NFL Jerkfest, etc. Horrible. There are MLB pennant races, Nascar (even though I don't like it) chase, blah blah. I flipped to 80's reruns of Cops on CourtTV lol.

I don't get why seeing a TV commercial that features Brett Favre and BTO makes it actually seem okay to buy a pair of Wrangler jeans.

I don't get why an NFL Qb gets sacked by a bunch of nobodies in that commercial. Throw the damn ball Brett!

I don't get how they turn the Jell-O green.

I don't get why you have to attend U of M in order to root for the football team.

I don't get why TK came back (after a long hiatus) about a month or two ago for one day.

I don't get why the rest of us stay longer than that . . .

I don't get why we put up with AT&T. I don't get why people don't give them the angry-villagers-with-torches-and-pitchforks treatment yet.

I take a piss and every friggin' time it's all foamy and bubbly.

I take a piss and every friggin' time it's all foamy and bubbly.

That's a measure of power, I would think.

It might be the clap.

This could have gone in any of 3 or 4 threads, but here goes.

I don't get why I have this huge pet peeve about old people talking about the weather.

It doesn't phase me a bit when a peer talks about the weather, but some old fart starts with the "what's with the 30 degree drop in temperature in the last 4 days?" shit and I want to kill somebody.

Am I the only one that feels this way?

This could have gone in any of 3 or 4 threads, but here goes.

I don't get why I have this huge pet peeve about old people talking about the weather.

It doesn't phase me a bit when a peer talks about the weather, but some old fart starts with the "what's with the 30 degree drop in temperature in the last 4 days?" shit and I want to kill somebody.

Am I the only one that feels this way?

I have something similar when people want to tell me about a dream or nightmare they had. I get like this with everyone, even my wife. I don't entirely get it, but I cannot imagine anything more boring that listen to someone babble about their meaningless dreams.

Honestly I couldn't even describe my dreams to people...they are so fucking weird and I'd sound like a nut.

Old people have two things to talk about: The weather and the results from their latest prostate exam.

Old people have two things to talk about: The weather and the results from their latest prostate exam.
I'm sure the women talk about the latter all the time...

"I can tell a storm is coming, my right knee is starting to hurt"

BAH!!

This all reminds me very much about George Carlin and his complaint about how fiction writers often pause from a book's dialogue to describe the clouds that were overhead at the moment. "'Meanwhile, overhead, the clouds floated by like loosely-formed gorilla turds.' Please, enough with the clouds. Get to the fucking."

Is it "yours" or "your's"?

Is it "yours" or "your's"?

There is no "your's". It's always "yours."

At least it's not there, their, and they're. No one ever gets those right.

I kinda figured, I typed "your's" into google and didn't get the "did you mean: yours" so I was just wondering.

Drop all apostrophes and cite George Bernard Shaw.

drop all capital letters and cite e.e. cummings.

its easy.

Why there wasn't a movie in the "Land Before Time" series where they were all wiped out by the comet.

Why there wasn't a movie in the "Land Before Time" series where they were all wiped out by the comet.
It happened while they were putting more film in the camera. Just bad timing, really.

Aw man ... Little Foot...

I seriously almost cried when his mom died.

7ZYA0KpJiK0

Tell me that doesn't make you feel emo inside...

Ok, who is this asshole debating Skip Bayless on First Take? He has dreads and his name's "LZ Granderson"

Ok, who is this asshole debating Skip Bayless on First Take? He has dreads and his name's "LZ Granderson"

I believe it is LZ Granderson.

Really? I thought it was someone else. Any relation to Curtis?

I grew up in Livonia near the corner of Curtis and Mayfield. I could always tell which of my friends was into soul music because they'd start asking if they could come over to my house to take a picture of the street sign.

Have you ever been listening to someone talk, just an average person not someone terrible in some way, and thought "How in the world does someone fuck that person"?

Have you ever been listening to someone talk, just an average person not someone terrible in some way, and thought "How in the world does someone fuck that person"?
Yes

This correlates with something Chris Rock said: no matter how beautiful, funny, attractive, down-to-earth, graceful, and all-around wonderful a woman is, there is some guy somewhere who is sick and tired of her shit.

Have you ever been listening to someone talk, just an average person not someone terrible in some way, and thought "How in the world does someone fuck that person"?

I've ran into women that I don't know how people could stand her long enough to even get to first base, let alone all the way home.

I've ran into women that I don't know how people could stand her long enough to even get to first base, let alone all the way home.

Because the third base coach is Jack Daniels.

Yeah, he has a habit of waiving people home.

I've ran into women that I don't know how people could stand her long enough to even get to first base, let alone all the way home.

It's called being a guy.
We all talk shit about women, but we're so fucking scared of 'em we think we have NO chance with anyone who's better looking than Shelley Winters. And, we call the guy that DOES have the balls to ask the hot ones out, and scores (because he's the only guy who's asked her out in two years) a "tool".

I'm not talking about chances. I'm talking about women who are more than just high maitenance when you first meet them.

I'm always so apathetic.

I'm always so apathetic.

Who cares?

*shrug*

Someone linked me to a really nasty website the other day (I don't think I can name it, so I won't) and it was seriously the most disgusting thing I've ever seen (and I've seen a lot). Seriously, who in the hell is into this shit?

Someone linked me to a really nasty website the other day (I don't think I can name it, so I won't) and it was seriously the most disgusting thing I've ever seen (and I've seen a lot). Seriously, who in the hell is into this stuff?

goatse!

seriously, no one is into that stuff. It's horrible, it burns your eyes out when you see it, and it haunts your nightmares. It's the greatest prank in the history of the world. I had an insurance company who treated me like shit and after I canceled their asses, I taped 3 pages of goatse together into a roll and faxed it to them for like 45 minutes.

The remarkable thing about goatse in particular is that after a while, you really do get desensitized to it somewhat. It stops surprising you. And you start looking at it and wondering, "is that a wedding ring on that guy?"

No, I'm not linking it. You can google it yourself if you think you're tough enough.

I know and have seen goatse, but this is far worse.

Fuck it, it's called Cup Chicks (or something like that)...

I know and have seen goatse, but this is far worse.

Fuck it, it's called Cup Chicks (or something like that)...


Sounds like somebody needed to have his forum permissions updated.

It's in the Champaign Room (which I had NO clue existed, by the way).

It's in the Champaign Room (which I had NO clue existed, by the way).

Wait until you find out about the free vitual handjobs and downloadable Doritos coupons.

WTF is full of little known member benefits.

I don't get why "black athletes" have to be compared to other "black athletes" and why "white athlets" can only be compared to "white athletes"

I don't get why "lefty athletes" can only be compared to "lefty athletes"

You know Keith Van Horn was only compared to Rick Barry because they are both white.

It's in the Champaign Room (which I had NO clue existed, by the way).

who the fuck would do that shit. that shit meaning the shit link i posted up. im too scared to sleep

I know my opinion isn't that popular, but honestly I think a lot of white athletes are given a pass by the media even though they're not particularly good, but they're white so they're worth all the attention I guess. ESPECIALLY white basketball players. But this discussion probably belongs in another forum.

who the fuck would do that shit. that shit meaning the shit link i posted up. im too scared to sleep


Yeah, that's what I thought when I first saw it. I honestly had no clue what the fuck I had watched until I closed out, then was sick the rest of the day on the verge of throwing up. Of course I saw it before I found out the Champaigne Room even existed, so I wonder what would happen upon second look...

You know Keith Van Horn was only compared to Rick Barry because they are both white.
I once compared KVH to the Pillsbury Doughboy, but it wasn't so much about being white as about being s**t.












(s**t = soft :) )

I don't get why "black athletes" have to be compared to other "black athletes" and why "white athlets" can only be compared to "white athletes"

I don't get why "lefty athletes" can only be compared to "lefty athletes"

You know Keith Van Horn was only compared to Rick Barry because they are both white.

Grouping people by the color of their skin is so last century. Articulate athletes are compared to articulate athletes and intelligent athletes are compared to intelligent athletes.

I once compared KVH to the Pillsbury Doughboy, but it wasn't so much about being white as about being s**t.

(s**t = soft :) )

And both giggling when you poke them in the stomach.

Grouping people by the color of their skin is so last century. Articulate athletes are compared to articulate athletes and intelligent athletes are compared to intelligent athletes.
What about the other 90% of athletes? Who are they compared to?

Oreo pizza. Seriously, people actually eat it?

I saw a commercial for that "bowl" thing they're advertising from KFC and I went on a rant about that for about 20 minutes. How disgustingly fat do people want to be? At what point do you say "geez, I can't eat fried chicken with gravy and cheese, I'm fat enough as it is." I swear, I think KFC should be prosecuted for crimes against humanity.

I don't get how Dumbo could fly, his ears wouldn't be able to support that much weight, especially since even the smallest of elephants weigh more than a metric ton...

also I don't get why Heidi Klum married Seal, I mean the guy has such a huge gap between this front teeth, of all the guys Heidi Klum would possibly want to marry, she picks Seal...

I DON'T GET IT!

I saw a commercial for that "bowl" thing they're advertising from KFC and I went on a rant about that for about 20 minutes. How disgustingly fat do people want to be? At what point do you say "geez, I can't eat fried chicken with gravy and cheese, I'm fat enough as it is." I swear, I think KFC should be prosecuted for crimes against humanity.

good news for Michigan State = you don't need to win 6 games to be eligible for that bowl.

good news for Michigan State = you don't need to win 6 games to be eligible for that bowl.

LOL...

good news for Michigan State = you don't need to win 6 games to be eligible for that bowl.

Aaaaahahahaha. The only way to be eligible for that bowl is to lose at life.

things I don't get,

why the mailman is stalking bukdow where ever that man goes. Is it some a fetish you have mailman?

Because I got tired of watching you lick boots all day.

Watch your step Balkan, you don't want beef with The Mailman...I've got pepper spray.

Picture of Karl Malone flexing in 3, 2, 1

http://www.cbc.ca/gfx/topstory/sports/malone_karl0523.jpg

Because I got tired of watching you lick boots all day.


I was punishing you for doing such a horrible job yesterday. My boots need to shine so I showed you how its done and also, I want my five cents back.


Watch your step Balkan, you don't want beef with The Mailman...I've got pepper spray.

Yea, and I could always tase you bro. j/k

Admit it, you laughed at my State crack...

I laugh at most of your jokes. Because your a funny guy.

I'm funny? How? Like a clown?

Things I don't get: The Big Ten Network

argh.

caution swear words

o_ff46b58Hk

Why my ex girlfriend is apparently taking kickboxing classes so she can kick my ass when I've done nothing to her...(luckily I managed to avoid her after the game).

I don't get why the week in which there is a holiday, the trash day gets pushed back, I mean wouldn't the trashmen have to do twice as much for one of the days of the week anyway???

Why my speakers don't work anymore without headphones...

I don't get how someone thinks that 45 minutes of muzak for weddings played in a continuous loop for 3+ hours isn't enough to drive someone nuts.

I don't get why peeps on the sidelines at pro football games aren't actually aware that those big guys running around on the field aren't on TV. They can actually bowl you fucking over and splat your face on the astro-turf.

http://www.shop.ultrasabers.com/category.sc;jsessionid=24E82FF0452D3352E87869BCCA3 80E0E.qscweb24?categoryId=2

http://www.shop.ultrasabers.com/category.sc;jsessionid=24E82FF0452D3352E87869BCCA3 80E0E.qscweb24?categoryId=2
E3EYintUu-o

That asshole Rob Thomas has a hot ass wife.

We as a society can't do anything at all about the Santana problem.

Dude, did you just diss Santana?

Did I just diss a guy who did a guitar duet with Rob Thomas? Yes. Yes I did.

You know what, that's one thing I can't defend him for.

Call my name, and I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me

http://www.achap.org/images/NBACares_Logo.gif

Ever...the...same...

pF0OMEpH0r8

DO YOU KNOW HOW A HEART BREAKS, MOTHERFUCKER? DO YOU?

You know what, that's one thing I can't defend him for.

That whole album is like getting an ice pick shoved in your ear. My dad loves it, though.