I dug "Maria Maria". But that's beside the point, How a Heart Breaks and Ever The Same > all.

To get back on the topic of things that I don't get: why I'm scared to go to sleep. Would YOU be scared if in your dream a girl cut off your dick and you were standing there with it in your hand, in a state of shock and panic?

I have been severely traumatized/paranoid beyond belief because of this.

No. I never have a problem going to sleep. I may just go to sleep right now, at my desk at work. Sleep is where I'm a Viking.

I don't get why people still tolerate nerds. Isn't it time for a nerd backlash yet?

Speaking of nerds, what is the difference between a geek and a nerd?

I don't know but probably in either case, the Five Geek Social Fallacies (http://sean.chittenden.org/humor/www.plausiblydeniable.com/opinion/gsf.html) are relevant.

To get back on the topic of things that I don't get: why I'm scared to go to sleep. Would YOU be scared if in your dream a girl cut off your dick and you were standing there with it in your hand, in a state of shock and panic?

zg5TSbE7K2I

That should help.

Maybe you should also put "Jesus was way cool" in the Christianity thread as well...

Good news: I woke up with it intact.

To get back on the topic of things that I don't get: why I'm scared to go to sleep. Would YOU be scared if in your dream a girl cut off your dick and you were standing there with it in your hand, in a state of shock and panic?
The only time I've ever been scared of going to sleep was when I was thinking my gf's psycho-ex was gonna break in the house and kill me in my sleep. I can sort of relate.

Are you sleeping with this girl that's gonna whack your tallywhacker in your sleep? Is there some girl in particular or just some random ho?

It's actually my ex. In the dream I had been sleeping with my dick hanging out, then we began fooling around and next thing you know I'm standing there with my dick in my hand, freaking out and screaming like a bitch.

I seriously need to go get help for all these strange dreams I have...

Don't fuck with Mexican girls.

It's actually my ex. In the dream I had been sleeping with my dick hanging out, then we began fooling around and next thing you know I'm standing there with my dick in my hand, freaking out and screaming like a bitch.

I seriously need to go get help for all these strange dreams I have...

Don't fuck with Mexican girls.
Here's what to do to prepare for such an eventuality:

jts0xxg7P8I

Seriously, if you have a real reason to think there's some threat of physical violence, file a police report, get a restraining order, and keep the police on speed dial. If you think it's just a nightmare, talk with someone. Don't let some dumb bitch get in your head.

I feel like The Dude after the Nihilists come into his bathroom and tell him to give them the money or else they'd chop off his johnson...

Here's the odd part: I was sleeping on her couch as this dream came to me.

Now that is just ridiculous, Dude. Nobody is going to cut your dick off. Not if I have anything to say about it.

Ve believe in nothing!

You know what's funny? Listening to all these stories about "psycho" ex GF's, their psycho former SO's, and all the other bullshit guys put on here about the problems they have with women: And we waste our lives doing NOTHING about them and bouncing from bed to bed trying to find one that we can manufacture a tolerably dysfunctional marriage with.
Then of course, we'll all reproduce and pass this wonderful cycle onto a new generation for the idiocracy.

I don't think I'll be alive to do anything about it.

I don't think I'll be alive to do anything about it.

Ummmm, as far as Idiocracies go, You're in one.

http://beingz.files.wordpress.com/2007/03/idiocracy.jpg

I don't get feeling guilty for laughing. Ever. At anything.

What if bukdow or Balkan actually posts something funny and you laugh?

What if bukdow or Balkan actually posts something funny and you laugh?
We're not laughing with them.

So you're saying you don't want to laugh with a Sparty?

I don't get why I'm usually at my best posting in the morning...

You know what's funny? Listening to all these stories about "psycho" ex GF's, their psycho former SO's, and all the other bullshit guys put on here about the problems they have with women: And we waste our lives doing NOTHING about them and bouncing from bed to bed trying to find one that we can manufacture a tolerably dysfunctional marriage with.
I think you have my situation confused with someone else. I think I was at the other extreme of "doing NOTHING" and things still got fucked up.

In the one psycho ex-bf's case, he ultimately attempted suicide after a number of breakins and threatened mutilations. From there, he went into a nuthouse, and was "cured" by putting him on such fucked-up drugs that he no longer has a recognizable personality. I was quite involved throughout that entire process, because my gf was pretty distraught. (She dumped him because he was a good-for-nothing slacker leech -- the psycho part came after.) I never thought of the psycho-ex bf as a "problem" with my gf. Anyone who's interesting has at least some baggage. I knew her as a friend for years beforehand.

In fact, my acting as "savior", almost certainly saving her life a time or two, was probably what led to things falling apart. I moved in with her far earlier and things got more serious more quickly than they would have otherwise (fear can make for some great passionate moments). She was used to being the "savior", quite unaccustomed to big dramas or needing help. Over time, she came to feel that she wanted to start fresh and make it on her own, independent of me. So, she got a new job in a new field, a new place to live on another continent (though she's back now), a new look. Ditching me for a new man was just part and parcel of it.

The Browns.

Why I've had to suffer watching the shitty Ravens on nationally broadcast games.

^ EXACTLY. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!11 I'M ABOUT TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF, OR A SMALL MOUNTAIN GOAT.

I'm done following this team.

So why are you a Raven fan instead of a Eagle fan? Come to think of it, Philly has a badass mascot but they kind suck too

That is a GREAT point. BTW, are there any college teams named the Golden Eagles?

Lions are badasses but 'we' have been cowardly the last 5 games

I'm a Leo! Too bad the Leo doesn't describe me at all and I don't believe in any of that anyway.

That is a GREAT point. BTW, are there any college teams named the Golden Eagles?

Must have completely missed my DWADE/Golden Eagle reference in the GE thread.

^ Finally saw it. Now a Marquette basketball fan.

That's D-WADE!

The difference between carmel and caramel.

The difference between catsup and ketchup.

...why I just spent 20 minutes looking for a pic of Kirk Hinrich's mom (again)

Why I am awake already.

...why I just spent 20 minutes looking for a pic of Kirk Hinrich's mom (again)

Home alone today?

...why I just spent 20 minutes looking for a pic of Kirk Hinrich's mom (again)

I can't find one either!

Why that dude from R.E.M never shaved his eyebrow.

Why I never saw the 40 Year Old Virgin until now.

"You know how I know you're gay?"
"How?"
"You like Coldplay."

pwnt

"You know how I know you're gay?"

"How, because you're gay and you can tell who other gay people are?"

pwntagain

"You know how I know you're gay?"
"How?"
"Your dick tastes like shit."

^ also an actual quote from bukdow's wife to bukdow.

No, I don't think he would let her touch it. Girls are all, you know, icky n stuff.

Why a lot of these athletes are married to ugly azz bytchez.

Because they marry people they met before they were famous because they think the girl doesn't like them for their fame?

Or because they don't marry the girl for her looks. HAHAHA

I think because said bytchezz have incriminating stuff on them.

Why I can't get more than 3 hours of sleep anymore.

...how no one has told or convinced Dan Le Batard that they put buttons on a shirt for a reason, and that a t-shirt is not an option, it's a necessity.

Le Batard is the same idiot who thought you were a racist if you picked Nash over Shaq for MVP in 2005.

I do like when he's on PTI though.

"BAM!"

I like PTI so much better with Kornheiser and Wilbon, but I never see that anymore.

How anyone could possibly work as hard as I do.

How anyone could possibly work as hard as I do.

http://www.sethbarnes.com/imagefolder/seth/ske_couch_potato_lg.jpg

I was just thinking the other day that Tahoe might be the hardest working man in the message board business.

I don't get why people only drink one kind of soda/beer/whatever.

mix it up a little.

I was just thinking the other day that Tahoe might be the hardest working man in the message board business.

I'm sure its a thought crosses most peeps minds every day glenn. You aren't alone.

I don't get why people only drink one kind of soda/beer/whatever.

mix it up a little.

Diet Squirt, but it has to be over ice.
Coors Light

I cycle through 3-4 different beer types depending on what I'm feeling at the time, but I don't drink very often. Strong Bow, Killians, Bud Light usually.

I stay away from pop, too, unless I'm getting fast food. But even then I have 3-4 that I pick from regularly. Sprite, Mt. Dew, Cherry Coke (or Wild Cherry Pepsi, same thing), Dr. Pepper.

Diet Squirt, but it has to be over ice.
Coors Light
but is that all you drink?

we usually only have coke and cherry coke in our fridge (soda wise), but I'll get mountain dew, rootbeer, cream soda, sprite, etc wherever I am. I know a lot of people that drink diet pepsi or diet coke and that is it. no other kind of soda ever. I don't get that.

As far as beer goes, mixing it up is the best thing. I might have a certain kind at home (happens to be blue moon right now), but when I go to a brew pub or bar I'll go for something on tap (preferably their brew). I see people drinking bud light and shit all the time at brew pubs. WTF are you going to a brew pub for to drink bud light? be a man, try something different. you might like it.

but is that all you drink?

we usually only have coke and cherry coke in our fridge (soda wise), but I'll get mountain dew, rootbeer, cream soda, sprite, etc wherever I am. I know a lot of people that drink diet pepsi or diet coke and that is it. no other kind of soda ever. I don't get that.

As far as beer goes, mixing it up is the best thing. I might have a certain kind at home (happens to be blue moon right now), but when I go to a brew pub or bar I'll go for something on tap (preferably their brew). I see people drinking bud light and shit all the time at brew pubs. WTF are you going to a brew pub for to drink bud light? be a man, try something different. you might like it.

I like that. Too bad my wife doesn't agree when she catches me with a new piece of Strange.

Just tell her to get in on it with you, Zip. Makes sense to me.

but is that all you drink?

we usually only have coke and cherry coke in our fridge (soda wise), but I'll get mountain dew, rootbeer, cream soda, sprite, etc wherever I am. I know a lot of people that drink diet pepsi or diet coke and that is it. no other kind of soda ever. I don't get that.

As far as beer goes, mixing it up is the best thing. I might have a certain kind at home (happens to be blue moon right now), but when I go to a brew pub or bar I'll go for something on tap (preferably their brew). I see people drinking bud light and shit all the time at brew pubs. WTF are you going to a brew pub for to drink bud light? be a man, try something different. you might like it.

I used to live in bars, but not anymore. So I've fallen into same old thing at home. When we go out to eat, Coors light is the farthest thing from my mind.

I don't get why I like Mountain Dew. Let's be honest - it tastes like shit, yet somehow I love it. WTF, man?

The only time I ever have a soda is when I go to my mom and pop's place, and I'll see they have some Pepsi in the fridge. I'll think, "Oh, I haven't had this in a while," will have about three while I'm there, and then never touch it again until I either am dining out or go back to their place.

That's a good idea. I drink water most of the day and limit myself to 1 soda a day. While none would be ideal, i need a change of pace at some point in the day. Since I don't drink coffee or anything that makes it better.

Go with juice, Chris. Good change of pace and its healthy. I used to keep a jug of apple juice in the fridge all the time for when I needed a change of pace from water, but my roommate started drinking it all.

problem with juice that it also has a ton of sugar in it. It's good to replace soda with it, but don't replace water with juice.

This thread is turning queer.
All any good man needs to drink is coffee, water, and alcohol.

This thread is turning queer.
All any good man needs to drink is coffee, water, and alcohol.

And a good cup of coffee has all three.

And a good cup of coffee has all three.
What? No way. There's no water in my coffee. Only the macho chewy stuff for me.

And a good cup of coffee has all three.

Your genius never ceases to amaze me.

Coffee, creamer and Kahlua in the duck blind always works.

Coffee, creamer and Kahlua in the duck blind always works.

Vodka, LSD, and Kahlua while laying in the bathtub partially depantsed and the Wayne County sheriff's deputy trying to reason with me always works.

Coffee and whiskey. Just the sound of it says "morning"

Thing 'you' don't get...

We get up at 3am to go Duck hunting. We are in a cold, wet duck tank and its generally raining, windy and just generally shitty outside. And it isn't even light out yet. Yes, we need a little pick me up. Also, blackberry liquer brandy is a nice way to see the sunrise with a shotgun and 3.5 inch magnums loaded.

I don't get this guy:


WASHINGTON (CNN) — Voters ask a lot of the nation’s White House hopefuls, but Democrat Hillary Clinton (http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2008/candidates/hillary.clinton.html) looked particularly taken aback by a request from one attendee at a Friday campaign event in the Los Angeles area.
"Hillary, marry me, baby," a man yelled at the New York senator as she finished her economic address and prepared to take questions.

Dude was planted there by Bill Clinton. :)

Flew US Airways last night. They handed out little bags of pretzels, which they do instead of Peanuts now as we all know because of the peanut allergies. Nice thought, even though some dry roasted peanuts sounded good at the time.

So I'm reading the bag as I snack and notice the following warning on the bag:

"Pretzels were processed in a plant that processes peanuts and other nuts"

WTF?

I don't get how microwave ovens work.

I'm just very glad that they do.

Flew US Airways last night. They handed out little bags of pretzels, which they do instead of Peanuts now as we all know because of the peanut allergies. Nice thought, even though some dry roasted peanuts sounded good at the time.

So I'm reading the bag as I snack and notice the following warning on the bag:

"Pretzels were processed in a plant that processes peanuts and other nuts"

WTF?
Some people are allergic just to the smell, so something that has a gazillion times less particulates in the air is good. I suspect pretzels are cheaper, and I've gotten pretzels on America West (now USAir) flights for a decade or so.

It's nothing against the pretzels themselves. But why use ones you need a warning on?

Would you want blood with a warning label saying "filtered and stored in a blood bank that contains HIV infected blood"?

The pretzels just seem a little counterproductive if you need a warning on them anyway.

Would you want blood with a warning label saying "filtered and stored in a blood bank that contains HIV infected blood"?
No, and as I found out with a family member recently -- there are blood waivers some hospitals (maybe some states?) need you to sign, saying that you accept the risk that the blood bank might conceivably have bad blood (HIV, HepC) in it. Heartwarming, eh?

It's nothing against the pretzels themselves. But why use ones you need a warning on?

Would you want blood with a warning label saying "filtered and stored in a blood bank that contains HIV infected blood"?

The pretzels just seem a little counterproductive if you need a warning on them anyway.

In some states you need to label all foodstuffs that are produced in/with/on equipment featuring peanuts if the ingredients on the label don't include peanuts. Supposing the airline flies to those states it may be a requirement, and if an airline can save 1 cent per bag of pretzels by using universal packaging, that may be $100,000 a year.

That's not the point. If the reason you don't use peanuts is because people are deathly allergic, and then you use another product made in the same plant, isn't that counter productive? My point is that they should be using pretzels not processed in the same plant. OR, if it makes no difference (because they are done on a different machine, room, whatever) then that label should not be on any bags in any states. It seems to me like this would be an FDA thing, and country wide. Get that label off there, or don't use those pretzels.

I was just pointing out something ironic. Tough crowd.

That's not the point. If the reason you don't use peanuts is because people are deathly allergic, and then you use another product made in the same plant, isn't that counter productive?

No, back to MXY's airborn/digested peanut allergy difference. The instance of a case of airborn anaphylaxis is very rare, and only they would have to concern themsleves with the "in the same plant" issues.

In that case, what good is the label? Wouldn't you contract it from everyone else licking the salt off their pretzels?

In that case, what good is the label? Wouldn't you contract it from everyone else licking the salt off their pretzels?

No, the concentration wouldn't be high enough. If it were peanuts, and they were throwing them at you, maybe.

Two peanuts were walking down the street, when one was assaulted.

hahahahahaha

*slaps knee*

You're hitting the tip of the iceberg when it comes to food labeling. There's a TON of strange and occasionally-bad shit that goes on when it comes to such things. The worldwide bible of food labeling, under the auspices of the World Health Organization (not the FDA or USDA), is called the Codex Alimentarius. The dynamics of what does and doesn't get labeled and in what contexts will hurt your head. There was recently a flap about "cloned beef" labeling, but it is pointless unless the Codex is updated.

Two peanuts were walking down the street, when one was assaulted.

hahahahahaha

*slaps knee*

Wait, did he press charges?

I don't get people that think their lives are so important that when they are busy they lose all sense of common courtesy and become jackasses.

I don't know ONE person (and never have) that is allergic to peanuts.

I know one person who's allergic to peanuts, though it's not airborne or anything like that. I know another person who has an airborne food allergy that can lead to anaphylaxis, and can't be at a fish market or Dead Lobster.

I can't be at dead lobster because I'll starve trying to find something worthwhile on the menu. my only hope to stay alive is the salty biscuts.

Red Lobster is a really nice restaurant.

I prefer Boston Market.

This cocksucker comes up to us today and uses the word 'ubiquitous'. Me and this one worker of mine look at each other, turn and walk away. The douche comes back to talk to us but didn't use a bunch of fucked up words this time. So I listened to him.

My worker said...'I believe if someone uses that word, they should have their ass kicked' We laugh and talk about the drywall job at the new McDonalds up in Vascalinas.

True story...son of a bitch talks to 2 construction workers using ubiquitous. fucking douche bag.

^ reminds me of that story bukdow told us... he said was at the pool hall and construction workers (Michigan "fans") came in and "harassed" him, so he had to put them in their place.

You may have had contact with Josef, dude.

I'd hit him in the fuckin head with a shovel to wake him up.

This cocksucker comes up to us today and uses the word 'ubiquitous'. Me and this one worker of mine look at each other, turn and walk away. The douche comes back to talk to us but didn't use a bunch of fucked up words this time. So I listened to him.

My worker said...'I believe if someone uses that word, they should have their ass kicked' We laugh and talk about the drywall job at the new McDonalds up in Vascalinas.

True story...son of a bitch talks to 2 construction workers using ubiquitous. fucking douche bag.
"You talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded."

I used to work with a guy that was allergic to peanuts, so every day we'd offer him a Snickers bar.

One day he ate it, just to say "fuck you" back.

He won.

Well, for those 17 minutes he was alive anyway.

This is the face of sexy (http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/TV/01/30/celeb.whatissexylist.ap/index.html):

http://i.l.cnn.net/cnn/2008/SHOWBIZ/TV/01/30/celeb.whatissexylist.ap/art.seacrest.gi.jpg

This cocksucker comes up to us today and uses the word 'ubiquitous'. Me and this one worker of mine look at each other, turn and walk away. The douche comes back to talk to us but didn't use a bunch of fucked up words this time. So I listened to him.

My worker said...'I believe if someone uses that word, they should have their ass kicked' We laugh and talk about the drywall job at the new McDonalds up in Vascalinas.

True story...son of a bitch talks to 2 construction workers using ubiquitous. fucking douche bag.

Ordinarily when I talk to two construction workers I use smelling salts to wake them up from their fourth nap of the day.

1. Why Def Leppard is touring

2. Why Styx and REO Speedwagon are opening up for them

Seems like an odd combo

All three will be doing the SB half time show next year.

Speed walking in the Olympics

^ agree, if you need to get somewhere fast, just run, ride a bike, get a cab, drive a car.

Why there was a "Vintage USC Apparel" advertisement on WTFDetroit. If they took even 10 seconds to look at the NCAA thread, they'd know that's not getting them any business.

Why whenever I'm sitting in my bosses office and he's talking to me I start yawning. Every time. Never fails.

Why whenever I'm sitting in my bosses office and he's talking to me I start yawning. Every time. Never fails.

Remember to breathe.

Why whenever I'm sitting in my bosses office and he's talking to me I start yawning. Every time. Never fails.

Not a doctor here, but I'd say what you are describing is about as normal a reaction to a boss as one could have.

I don't get why Tahoe keeps insisting that he is not a doctor.

We all know his Doctorate is in Postology.

I don't get why the people who are most angry with all the steroid/HGH users do just as bad(smoke, drink, take pills, cheat on their spouse, etc.), if not worse things than roiders. And all of you motherfuckers are on poison just like these roiders. There are roids and other chemicals in the shit you eat and drink. So let the roiders do their roids because we're just as fucked up as they are.

And that's what I don't get.

I also don't get wigs(on people who don't have hair conditions)/push-up bras. Eventually they'll come off, and when I discover that I've been had, I'll dump your low self-esteem ass.

I'd still hit it though before dumping you.

Arch is quite the charmer.

I don't get why the people who are most angry with all the steroid/HGH users do just as bad(smoke, drink, take pills, cheat on their spouse, etc.), if not worse things than roiders. And all of you motherfuckers are on poison just like these roiders. There are roids and other chemicals in the shit you eat and drink. So let the roiders do their roids because we're just as fucked up as they are.

And that's what I don't get.

Bill Maher went on a similar rant on his show last week, fwiw.

Why the guy from the new J.G. Wentworth commercial doesn't do Samuel L. Jackson impersonations. He sounds exactly like him when he's yelling "Its my money.....and I need it NOW". Third guy in when they start hanging out the windows yelling like jackasses.

Why I have the coldest fingers on the planet. I hate that poor circulation answer that everyone always says - What does that even mean? My blood doesn't circulate well in my fingers, but it's fine everywhere else? From October to May, my fingers are litterally colder than ice.

You been fingering dead chicks, MoTown?

Not since 2007.

I have the world's coldest nose. For some reason, my nose can be cold when the rest of my body is warm. I went to the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago and stood in front of the thermal imaging camera, and my nose was one of two parts of my body that displayed as completely black. The other one was my dick, lol. But then again, my nose is inordinately huge. lol I need an electric nose warmer or something.

Yeah, the nose is mostly cartilage, not muscle and veins and such--this leads to it not having as much bloodflow and being much cooler than the rest of your body.

I don't get people who put stuffed animals in the back of their car so that everyone driving sees them. Like I give a rats ass about your sweet Beanie Babies, stupid bobblehead dogs, or any other stupid shit you put back there.

Now if it was a dead body, then you might have something worthwhile there.

D's Nuts, are you saying that you WOULDN'T like my stuffed Scooby Doo?

No I would not.

What about my stuffed frog?

http://www.nflmerch.com/images/products/ncaa,small,mascots,michiganstate.jpg

Here's what I have in the back window of my Pinto:

http://img61.imageshack.us/img61/2323/250pxrealdollexamplekn2.jpg

How do you get the chair back there?

How did you fit the chick back there?

I've modified the thing a bit

http://www.allstarrvcenter.com/OfficeInside2.jpg

And here's the other room in the Pinto:

http://photos.igougo.com/images/p151697-Pahrump_NV-Charleston_Peak_RV.jpg

Here's what bukdow did with his van:

http://www.gophila.com/assets/dmt/images/14.Candy3-R.KennedyG.jpg

What about my stuffed frog?

That would also receive a no.

But then again, my nose is inordinately huge.
Years of lying will do that to some people.

People that make YouTube videos by aiming a camcorder at their TV set.

After reading Swami's nose post, I want to go to that museum and see how I show up. I feel like my hands, feet, and nose would be black and everything else would be bright red (or whatever color shows extreme heat, i can't remember if its red or yellow)

How Larry King has a job. The guy is a complete idiot. All he does is read stupid questions off a card and doesn't even care how people respond to him. He has absolutely no skills at interacting with another human. I thought this was pretty funny when Seinfeld called him out on a stupid question:

NZfUgVSfKdQ

OWNED! My appreciation of Seinfeld just went up another notch.

"Thunder Nationals"

why my dog, which is very smart, can't figure out how to get himself around a tree/pole when the leash wraps around it. And I'm not talking multiple times either, just one wrap around it. I've never seen a dog that can figure that out, why is that?

Tracey Ullman

do people take naps in "restrooms" ?

Why when I flip over Cartoon Network and Tom and Jerry is on, I always have to watch it.
I guess it's because it's awesome

Southern Rap. It's awful.

Southern Rap. It's awful.
You obviously haven't heard German Rap.

ROFL I know someone who is SUPER into German hip-hop and it's fucking awful. It's seriously the most unlistenable racist shit in the world.

Southern Rap. It's awful.


WE GETTIN CRUNK, YEAAAAAAAA!!

How those "Viva Viagra" commercials ever got made.

I vant to smash the TV whenver I see one.

The appeal of Jack Black.

I don't get it either.

I also don't get the appeal of Will Ferrell. Keep in mind though that the only movie of his I've seen was Old School (and it's one of my favorites).

Ferrell was amazing on SNL, and he's had some good movies. He's been smart enough to stick to what he's good at instead of trying to get all serious or go out of his comfort zone. Unfortunately there's only so many movies you can do like that before it starts to get old and used up (see: Mike Meyers)

Keep in mind though that the only movie of his I've seen was Old School (and it's one of my favorites).

Nevermind, I forgot I saw Blades of Glory. Holy shit, that was horrible.

Semi Pro looks stupid too.

Speaking of SNL, I don't get why that's still on.

I had high hopes for Semi Pro but all I've heard are terrible reviews.

SNL's gone to shit. I miss the good old days.

Well, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane is one of my three favorite movies and that got mostly negative reviews. I just think Semi Pro looks like shit, regardless of reviews (positive or negative).

SNL is terrible. Last time I watched it had a bunch of unfunny people (including Horatio Sans or whatever his name is and that Keenan dude) and stupid skits. I miss the days of Hartman and all them...hell, I even miss Tim Meadows.

I mean bad reviews from friends as well as critics.

Oh. Well, I don't really care for most, if not all, of the movies that are out nowadays.

He's been smart enough to stick to what he's good at instead of trying to get all serious or go out of his comfort zone.

You only get better at anything by going out of your comfort zone.

Doesn't work so well for some actors.

I think Keanu Reeves should try comedy, because watching him in "serious" roles is painful. I don't think he has done anything that was meant to be funny since Bill and Ted though.

I think you'll eventually see Ferrell try some dramatic roles.

Whomever casts him will get some nice pub out of it for the film, so bank on it happening.

Robin Williams was awesome in One Hour Photo, Insomnia and Good Will Hunting, and I think Ferrell could pull off something like that later in his career.

I didn't say it was always successful.

I think you'll eventually see Ferrell try some dramatic roles.

Whomever casts him will get some nice pub out of it for the film, so bank on it happening.

Robin Williams was awesome in One Hour Photo, Insomnia and Good Will Hunting, and I think Ferrell could pull off something like that later in his career.

He did Stranger than Fiction, which wasn't really comedy at all. It was a decent movie, and he did a pretty solid job in a different role.

Never saw that.

All I know is he was great in Old School, in which he wasn't the "lead" guy.

Is that the one where he's having the story written about his life? That was supposed to be funny I thought.

I hear he's supposed to star in "A Confederacy of Dunces" soon, which is still somewhat of a comic story but based on a very excellent novel.

Why do we celebrate St Patricks Day here? I have nothing against the irish, but why do we only celebrate the patron saint of one country?

People like booze.

Because 99% (something like that) of America is of Irish descent.

Actually, I agree with Vinny.

I don't get why people have favorite numbers. That makes no sense to me.

I don't get why people have favorite numbers. That makes no sense to me.

In sports or in general? What about lucky numbers (or do you consider those the same)?

In general. I don't get any of that....favorite numbers/lucky numbers, whatever.

Yeah, me either. I get the favorite number stuff for an athelete that wears it. I do remember having a favorite number in elementary school and I have no idea why kids did that.

Is that the one where he's having the story written about his life? That was supposed to be funny I thought.

Yes. If it was supposed to be funny... well... it wasn't, save for a few parts.

I don't get why anyone would put their baby in a microwave!

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/03/26/microwave.baby.ap/index.html

GALVESTON, Texas (AP) -- A jury has sentenced a young father to 25 years in prison for severely burning his infant daughter when he put her in a microwave and turned it on for up to 20 seconds.

Jurors deliberated for 6½ hours over two days before sentencing Joshua Mauldin Wednesday.

They also fined him $10,000.

The jury rejected Mauldin's claims he was insane when he stuffed his daughter Ana, then 2 months old, in the microwave and convicted him of felony injury to a child.

Prosecutors had asked for a life sentence.

Mauldin's attorney asked jurors to consider Mauldin's long history of mental illness and give him probation so he could be treated outside priso

On Tuesday, the jury convicted Mauldin, 20, of felony injury to a child, dismissing his claim he was having a psychotic episode when he put his then-2-month-old daughter in a Galveston hotel microwave in May 2007.

Don't Miss
KPRC: Local coverage
Mauldin had pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity. The conviction came after about four hours of deliberations, which began Monday afternoon.

Galveston County prosecutor Xochitl Vandiver asked jurors to give Mauldin a life sentence because Mauldin had given his daughter a life sentence as well -- one of physical and emotional scars.

Mauldin at first told police his daughter had been severely sunburned, later changing his story and saying he had accidentally spilled hot water on her while making coffee.

Ana suffered second- and third-degree burns to her left ear, cheek, hand and shoulder and required two skin grafts after being in the microwave. Part of her left ear had to be amputated.

"She will always for the rest of her life be reminded just by looking in a mirror," Vandiver said.

Prosecutors said Mauldin was angry that he was in a loveless marriage and took it out on his daughter. Just before putting her in the microwave, Mauldin had punched the baby and put her in the hotel-room safe and refrigerator.

They also said Mauldin had a history of violence and of lying about being mentally ill to get out of trouble.

But Mauldin's defense attorney, Sam Cammack III, said Mauldin has been wracked by mental illness since he was 10 years old. Cammack asked jurors to be merciful and give his client probation so he could continue receiving treatment.

Michael Fuller, a psychiatrist who examined Mauldin, earlier testified he could not conclude Mauldin was insane at the time of the crime. However, Fuller on Tuesday said Mauldin was not violent and would benefit from receiving treatment outside of prison.

"Let's give the kid the rest of his life in prison for hurting his child when we can't explain what happened? Don't do that," Cammack told jurors.

During the trial's punishment phase, Mauldin's mother, Joanie, pleaded for mercy.

"There is no way someone in their right mind would do something like that," Joanie Mauldin told jurors, crying.

Heather Croxton, Ana's foster mother, testified the little girl's wounds still need to be cleaned every day, and that she screams during the painful process. The little girl, who lives with Croxton and her family in College Station, has physical therapy five days a week.

Croxton said she hopes to adopt Ana, who turned 1 earlier this month. A trial to terminate the Mauldins' parental rights is scheduled for April

That's another article I wish I'd never read.

That's the type of person I wish they'd just throw out the "No cruel or unusual punishment" bill.

They should construct a large microwave and put him in it for 20 seconds and then up the time by 5 seconds each time until he dies. I'm dead serious.

I don't get how to position the concepts of "punishment", "cruel", and "unusual" in a way that makes sense a lot of the time.

Why Tyra Banks still has a show.

Her show sucks and she sucks my cock as well.

This is why I'm completely confused about what the justice system is supposed to do. Human beings are just not capable of coming up with a punishment appropriate to an act like that.

But at the same time, I think the way the media has trained us like dogs to react to articles like that is really frustrating. We're all supposed to go "he's a monster, he should be tortured...etc." It's kind of juvenile. Clearly things like this have happened and they're going to keep on happening, and getting self-righteous hasn't gotten us any closer to figuring out how to stop it.

I wouldn't say it's the media that has caused me to think he's a monster. I can see your point in other scenarios, but not this one. That guy is sick. That guy is worse than a monter. I wouldn't even call it being self-righteous. If self righteous is knowing the difference between right and hideously wrong, then I'm glad to be self-righteous.

You are right that we aren't close to figuring out how to deal with things like that, because this isn't even the worst thing that I've heard of. And that's sad.

I see a potential WTF debate topic...

Babies in microwaves, good or bad?

I see a potential WTF debate topic...

Babies in microwaves, good or bad?
Read this before you decide:

http://www.compsoc.man.ac.uk/~jp/comics/page-index.htm

Are we going to get some dead baby jokes?

Read this before you decide:

http://www.compsoc.man.ac.uk/~jp/comics/page-index.htm

Oh dear God...

This Cisco commercial that's on all the time during NCAA games...

This guy builds a "new prototype" skateboard and sends it to the skaters to test out. They cut it differently, put different wheels on it and paint it different. Basically it is completely redone.

So WTF is this guy doing designing skateboards anyway?

How anyone ever came up with this...

Appendix removal via vagina. (http://www.scienceblog.com/cms/appendix-removal-vagina-15758.html)

That' just seems strange.

Historically, the way internal surgery worked was that you cut the shortest way to the injured part. This has the big problem of asking the body to heal from more than just the injured body part, leading to scars and complications. The less you cut, the less that can go wrong.

The field of laparoscopic surgery emerged, where the idea is to pump up the body with gas like a balloon, creating maximum separation and wiggle room between body parts. Then, make small incisions for instruments and cameras and such and worm your way through.

Of course, there's still extraneous cutting. And, kamming tools through small unnatural incisions has its limits. Research has focused on taking advantage of existing openings, like the mouth and the poopshoot. The vagina is yet another opening, one mostly exploited for "woman parts" surgeries and not generally.

Some hysterectomies are done through the Vag too nowadays.

I don't get the Beaumont hospital commecials at all. The ads seem designed to scare people from ever going near a hospital.

Some hysterectomies are done through the Vag too nowadays.
"Some"? "Nowadays"?

How anyone ever came up with this...

Appendix removal via vagina. (http://www.scienceblog.com/cms/appendix-removal-vagina-15758.html)

The femalien said she would take the scar any day.

I have to agree. Nobody is pulling an inflamed appendix through my cock.

For men, it'd be more likely to be the mouth than the private parts.

My dad had complications from an appendectomy. They had to go back in there two more times, once to clean out an infection, and another to get rid of some stitching that dissolved wrong and was causing problems.

I had an appendectomy in the 80s, it was definitely some major league hacking and sawing that had me off my feet for a bit.

David Eckstein.

It doesn't make sense that he's made it all the way to the majors. He looks like that kid on your Little League team that's too small, too frail and slightly retarded but out there because his dad wants him to be.

And somehow he gets hits and makes teams...

David Eckstein.

It doesn't make sense that he's made it all the way to the majors. He looks like that kid on your Little League team that's too small, too frail and slightly retarded but out there because his dad wants him to be.

And somehow he gets hits and makes teams...
and wins World Series MVPs

Exactly.

No skills. Looks like a little shit. Yet somehow doesn't mess up.

He's got a weak arm too.

I seriously don't get how he's able to throw it to first every damn time.

the noob-alike thread......I'm with Glenn, it makes me feel old

How an OL can transfer from U of M to OSU (bitter rivals) because of "family values"

Boren's family is a buch of cheaters and douche bags.

Now it makes sense!

He's got a weak arm too.

I seriously don't get how he's able to throw it to first every damn time.
Wow, SDB posting about Guillen's move to third before it even happened. That's skill right there folks. Just goes to show, if you post enough, eventually something's going to come true.


Wait, that wasn't about Guillen?

...why it was acceptable for a kid to keep hacking at our goalie's hands after the whistle and to slash my leg so hard I started bleeding, but it was "completely unacceptable" when I took my stick like a baseball bat and drilled him in the chest with a full swing.

Zek, that's what fists are for. I'll play on your team: hockey or lacrosse?

Ultimate frisbee?

I have three for you this morning:

1. Why I always seem to get a shock when getting out of the car and closing the door (any car).

2. What I'm supposed to do when I'm pumping gas and they come over the PA and say "Welcome to Meijer". Am I supposed to yell, "Thanks?", maybe wave?

3. Why I'm so pissed/depressed that I dropped and broke my favorite cereal bowl last night.
:emo kid:

I have three for you this morning:

1. Why I always seem to get a shock when getting out of the car and closing the door (any car).


Same happens to me. It's worse in the fall/winter.

2. What I'm supposed to do when I'm pumping gas and they come over the PA and say "Welcome to Meijer". Am I supposed to yell, "Thanks?", maybe wave?


this one hits home with me.....I usually go with an inaudible "thank you" paired with an awkward wave

I have three for you this morning:

1. Why I always seem to get a shock when getting out of the car and closing the door (any car).
Speaking from my position as the most staticky man on earth, you can rest easy that it's not as bad as it could be.

2. What I'm supposed to do when I'm pumping gas and they come over the PA and say "Welcome to Meijer". Am I supposed to yell, "Thanks?", maybe wave?
You: "Meijer? What the...? I was just outside pumping my gas, and I was going into the station to buy cigarettes. How the fuck did I end up at Meijer? Am I still in Nebraska? Don't tell me it's not Nebraska."

3. Why I'm so pissed/depressed that I dropped and broke my favorite cereal bowl last night.
:emo kid:
Grown man eating Froot Loops. Jesus Christ.

I only eat cereal on the weekends, but when I do, something about that goddamn bowl.

I freakin' love cereal, Swami. I have it at least three times a week. (not fruit loops)

It's part of a balanced breakfast.

Zek, that's what fists are for. I'll play on your team
Do you have any girls that could make the team some cookies?

I know a few girls that you would enjoy the cookies as they would taste great, but you might feel a little sick afterwards as they've probably made cookies for too many guys.

All the girls that make good, clean cookies are making them for someone else.

It's part of a balanced breakfast.
It's adjacent to a balanced breakfast.

3. Why I'm so pissed/depressed that I dropped and broke my favorite cereal bowl last night.
:emo kid:

I do (or want to do) worse things when I'm pissed/depressed.

Suck it up, emo kid.

I know a few girls that you would enjoy the cookies as they would taste great, but you might feel a little sick afterwards as they've probably made cookies for too many guys.

All the girls that make good, clean cookies are making them for someone else.
So sad. So true. You just can't get good cookies these days.

SDB, its not that he did it because he was depressed. He is depressed because he accidentally did it.

Well, in that case...

That's tough, Glenn.

1. Why I always seem to get a shock when getting out of the car and closing the door (any car).
I had a rental like that once... fucking obnoxious!

Products marketed to the elderly that offer a "lifetime" guarantee. Not setting the bar very high.

Guys wearing those girl headbands. When did it become okay to wear that shit in your hair? And don't give me the whole "It keeps my hair from flopping around." I have an idea - get a fucking haircut and your hair won't flop around.

FYI - I'm talking about these fucking things:
http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/fieldhockeystuff_2000_1701402

Yes, in case you haven't heard, dudes wear these to workout and play basketball.

Guys wearing those girl headbands. When did it become okay to wear that shit in your hair? And don't give me the whole "It keeps my hair from flopping around." I have an idea - get a fucking haircut and your hair won't flop around.

FYI - I'm talking about these fucking things:
http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/fieldhockeystuff_2000_1701402

Yes, in case you haven't heard, dudes wear these to workout and play basketball.

It must be a Rochester thing.

Could be...

But I believe Rafael Nadal started the trend...

Do the crips in Rochester wear one color and the bloods another?

That's ignorant, Glenn. We don't have Crips in Rochester.




Bloods run this fucking city.

No shit! I got fucked up on Main Street for wearing a blue tie!

The crips got kicked out to Rochester Hills.

Quoting the post right above you.

Quoting the post right above you.

Agreed.

Agreed.

I do it cuz by the time I type something there are 3 other posts between them and then peeps don't know WTF I'm talking about.

Then again, peeps generally don't know wtf I'm talking about anyway.

Hey, we all do it. It's nothing to be ashamed of. We just don't know why we do it.

Quoting the post right above you.


I do it:

A) Because you never know where the page break is going to occur and the next post could be the start of a new page (and it differs by the user, depending on their personal settings).

and

B) Because of quick change post editors that change their entire post after you reply to it.

and

C) Because MoTown does it.

I do it:

B) Because of quick change post editors that change their entire post after you reply to it.


I want names.

I do it:
Because MoTown does it.

All that matters.

I don't get why Oreos taste better when they are a little stale.

I don't get why today seems like Sunday.

I don't get why every time "Pour Some Sugar On Me" comes on, every girl, regardless of age, has to scream and run to the dance floor.

Slutty bitches.

Besides, that song sucks oversized testicles.

Because every woman deep down is a pole swinging slut and nothing brings it out like that song; for as much as we may hate it, it is the 9th symphony of strip-club music.

I don't get why every time "Pour Some Sugar On Me" comes on, every girl, regardless of age, has to scream and run to the dance floor.

Slutty bitches.

Besides, that song sucks oversized testicles.

Hate Def Leppard.

#995 ^ You are right and have learned much.

Hate Def Leppard.

I agree.

And by that I mean I agree except for On Through the Night, High & Dry and Pyromania.

How this dude I know can get wasted and yet claim he's Straight Edge.

I agree.

And by that I mean I agree except for On Through the Night, High & Dry and Pyromania.

What album is "Photograph" on? I hate that song.