I'd like the $1.50 I spent watching that Baywatch movie back.

The whole point of dollar theaters is if you don't like it, you go to another screen and see something else.

Nothing else playing that I really cared to go see, but I also think I stayed for Kelly Rohrbach.

Nothing else playing that I really cared to go see, but I also think I stayed for Kelly Rohrbach.
Holy shitballs:

https://cdn-s3.si.com/s3fs-public/swimsuit/web/kelly-rohrbach/2016/kelly-rohrbach-2016-photo-sports-illustrated-x159794_tk3_09573-rawwmfinal1920.jpg

Here's another old movie review of a Blu-Ray that's been sitting on my shelf for over a year: The Babdook!

I liked it, it was creepy; it had a surprisingly sweet exorcism scene near the end. One of the stronger statements against untreated psychological trauma among caregivers I've seen.

I'm going to try to watch more of these older films I keep getting for birthdays/Christmases and give them reviews. Gotta get to 1000 posts somehow.

Next on the list: The Pawnbroker

Sol Nazerman runs a pawnbroker shop in Harlem, he's a concentration camp survivor and, much like in Elie Wiesel's famous ending to Night, left the experience as a walking corpse. He is incapable of emotion or empathy; his customers are desperately attached to the present, but he cannot escape his past. He casually and inadvertently hurts anyone attempting to connect with him, from the woman heading the local community center to his eager young Hispanic assistant Ortiz (who is trying to make something of himself and get away from bad influences, so three guesses what happens to him by the end of the film).

Rod Steiger won an Oscar for his portrayal of Nazerman, and his contrast with everyone around him is certainly intriguing. There is life and hope swirling all around him, but he is an unmoving void, going through the motions of life but deliberately shunting all attempts to involve him in something beyond his embittered memories. The B&W cinematography is quite nice. It's not full of dramatic light-and-shadow contrast like you'd find in In Cold Blood, say, but it does its job in setting a claustrophobic mood at the pawn shop.

This post is already too long so I'll conclude by saying that it was a good film, worth a watch.

It (that is, It) was pretty good. I never read the book or saw the Tim Curry miniseries, but It certainly felt like a Stephen King work. Also, It had good character work (though It was a bit silly). Check It out!

'It' also has Love Removal Machine

Couldn't make it through The Little Hours.

Couldn't make it through The Little Hours.
Hadn't heard of it but looks awful.

^

Reviewed.

Hadn't heard of it but looks awful.

Sucks hard.

Saw Kingsman 2 -- check your brain at the door and you'll be just fine.

Definitely not for little kids -- was surprised to see a family bring a 10 year old.

Here's the Thor 4D revue:
8atgsWFfDOg

Next old movie review: Rashomon

This is silly, I'm not writing a review of Rashomon. Watch it yourself, it's only 90 minutes long. (I will say that the final fighting scene is a great payoff for the rest of the film.)

Another old movie review: The Ring

A spooky allegory of the annoyance of chain letters. It's been parodied so much that it didn't really have much to offer scare-wise. Piecing together the ghost girl's past was kind of interesting, I guess, and Naomi Watts is very attractive. I don't know, what do you want from me? I'll watch the Japanese version at some point, I'm sure, maybe it's better.

O0Mw-3ZeLx8

Just saw Vice. It was okay.

https://i.imgur.com/AbteU9X.jpg

Fuck Anthony Bourdain. You can't make your fame on being an asshole to people (no matter how skilled you are at your profession) and then kill yourself. If there is one thing us assholes know it's that we have to live with the shit we create for ourselves. Fuck him 100%

Captain Marvel was set in the 1990s.
Captain Marvel felt like a '90s superhero movie.
Most '90s superhero movies sucked.
This didn't suck, but wasn't mind-blowing.
Mildly entertaining.

After watching The Happytime Murders, I think I'm back to not watching movies anymore. 4/10

Watched Book of Eli last night. Pretty bad. Ledezma was wrong.

Ledezma was wrong.

There really is a first time for everything

Uncut Gems is great.

Worth noting that recently I've also seen:

Joker - Really enjoyed it. Won't be like Zekyl and act like it's the deepest movie ever, but Joaquin is good.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood - Alright.

Paris, Texas - Took me long enough. Pretty great.

Did you like The Irishman? I did!!

We turned Once UATIH off about an hour twenty into it. I’m not a “Tarantino guy” but my wife didn’t like it either

Haven't seen yet, should!!

I saw it. It was engrossing, but not 3.5 hours of engrossing.
Loved Pesci, Liked De Niro, wasn't crazy about Pacino as Hoffa.
I liked Jack Nicholson's take on Hoffa better.

Knives Out is decent, if a little too long for my liking.

Birds of Prey was mildly entertaining, which is more entertaining than I expected.

Knives Out is kinda fun if you can get past Daniel Craig’s awful attempt at a southern accent.

Somehow made it through Capone last night. When the credits rolled, I turned to my wife and said “Worst movie since ...”

And she completed the sentence with exactly what I was thinking, “The Master”.

Just streaming Capone now... glad I'm not paying for it. Who on earth thought a movie about Capone's final days would be a good idea?
It's putting me the fuck to sleep at 10am. Fuck this shit.

Just saw Wonder Woman 84. The lesbo sex scene with Diana and Cheetah should've taken place before the three-way with Steve Trevor -- would've fixed some pacing issues. But (spoilers) CGI-ing Christopher Reeve Superman in to do the time travel fix was a bold move.

The first hour and a half of Tennet is complete trash. The second half of the movie is watchable. Tough to like a movie that hides the motivation of 2 out of 3 of the main characters until the last 2 minutes of the movie and the one who's backstory is explained is a one dimensional "I may have married an arms dealer but I'm a mom 1st" caricature. The bad guy is old and week. You can't hear the dialogue over the sound effects (even in quiet scenes) but otherwise I liked it. It's like half of a good movie.

Review: The Little Things

Not bad.

If you can keep from staring at Freddie Mercury’s teeth, that is.

C2A was pretty awful compared to the classic. It felt like one of those crappy '80s sequels solely made for the money. Mission accomplished?
I knew it'd be crap when I saw it was rated PG-13 instead of R, though.

I'm curious what Ryan Coogler's take on this would've been. I could've easily imagined half the actors from Black Panther making appearances.
If I believe IMDB, he's who inspired C2A to finally take off, but they didn't like his take.

I'd have liked to have seen a slightly more serious premise to the movie. Getting it up for Leslie Jones? That's just all kinds of fucking wrong.
Go for hottie like Vanessa Williams or Halle Berry, go for irony with Queen Latifah or Beyonce, sheesh.

Say, Akeem having some meaningless one night stands after being broken up with on the subway, before the surprise at the royal wedding.
He's down in the dumps thinking he's going to an arranged marriage and he sleeps around? That'd be real.

Get someone like Aldis Hodge as the son, someone who could/would play multiple characters like Eddie and Arsenio. That'd have been cool.
Maybe Michael Che, but I'm probably just thinking that because of Colin Jost as a Duke.

Watching "I Care A Lot"... if someone put Alicia Witt, Rosamund Pike, and Eiza González in a room, I could think of better things to do.

The Class of 1984 is RIDICULOUS, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't entertained.

Just watched Savage Streets. Oh man, that was AMAZING. Pure '80s cheese.

Beaudeau lives!

Made it about 2/3rds of the way into The Tomorrow War and was feeling a ton of regret for being that invested. Just then, my wife turns to me and says, “this is just awful” and we bailed out. Some of the worst overacting I’ve seen in a while, so if you’re into that, this is for you.

2*

Made it about 2/3rds of the way into The Tomorrow War and was feeling a ton of regret for being that invested. Just then, my wife turns to me and says, “this is just awful” and we bailed out. Some of the worst overacting I’ve seen in a while, so if you’re into that, this is for you.

2*
I watched it too. The movie made even less sense than a typical '90s blockbuster. Fmeh.

"The Hunt" is great so far.

"Did anyone really want to see a remake of West Side Story?" I kept telling myself when I'd see ads for it.
https://www.cnbc.com/2021/12/26/west-side-story-is-officially-a-box-office-bomb.html

I saw Spider-Man: No Way Home finally -- pretty awesome movie! I was shocked to find out that Uncle Ben was really Lady Deadpool.

My wife convinced me to watch Hustle last night. She said it is being called, “the best basketball movie ever made”. I’m not feeling that, but it was decent. Maybe 7/10. Lots of NBA cameos (many Piston-related) and maybe too much Kenny Smith.

My real 'Murica patriotic plan to see Top Gun: Maverick in the theaters with a friend on the July 4th weekend was spoiled by him getting laid off most unexpectedly.

A Naked Gun reboot with Liam Neesen as Frank Drebin?

I’m skeptical, at best.

https://variety.com/2024/film/news/naked-gun-remake-2025-paramount-tmnt-paw-patrol-sequel-2026-1235925545/

A Naked Gun reboot with Liam Neesen as Frank Drebin?

I?m skeptical, at best.

https://variety.com/2024/film/news/naked-gun-remake-2025-paramount-tmnt-paw-patrol-sequel-2026-1235925545/
OJ Simpson will play Nordberg.