Not really "drunk", but six Killians during the game and I'm heading off to bed.

Hopefully, some of you fools will have better stories than this one.

nb,j.kj.
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Darko sucks and Manure Goonobilli gives him reach aroud while he;s doing it.

bitch]

lkjhbgtghnbm'


This thread is already worth it.

HEY YOU!

























Shut up!









MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTHER!!!!!! Sucked.













Btich.

I'm solrry I didn't mean it.,

Oh wait aminuts yes iDid.



fuCk yuo.

http://img59.imageshack.us/img59/3491/jagermeister8wj.jpg

Yep, hammered.

explhain to me hvow you coonld actubally bde drunk and porst here?

Woujldn't yopu be ogff getyting swex or goilng to bed or stgill drihnkinhg or smloking do[pe?

So mnuch to dfo whiloe dreunk thqat posxting juszt dogesn't enttfer the equal;ltion.r

I'm still a little drunk. Last night sucked my Fuck.

yo i couldnt find the orig threa,d and im curyck as fuck so slets go dogs.deldinos myu booooy....hahah shits tight...s

I merged it for you Rob.

Man, you must have been shitfaced, the thread that you needed to find was on the first page, about 12 threads down.

I'm sure you'll feel great this morning.

This shit2w is fiuxxy.s Idon't aahve sec on the teip[.

I merged it for you Rob.

Man, you must have been shitfaced, the thread that you needed to find was on the first page, about 12 threads down.

I'm sure you'll feel great this morning.


holy shit i dont remember that at all...hahahaha

I"m hacving a pOnwrn! party!

brilliatna@

hahahs i foujnd u thins thine......you canrt hide from me...... i own this thread.......FUCKIN GO STONEEEEEEEEEEES

yo seems like iv been her alot lately.....hahah....ftones for life....u my gboys///....maybe its the sotomes that c auuse theis shit..i dunno...peace oyt....stonea for slige....

See ya in rehab, buddy!!!

Hey I um am postin in thi s thread so um yeah.

See ya in rehab, buddy!!!


Im in collegeas its allowded...hahah

I'm not!!

I'm not!!


THATS AWESOME....you are now my hero hahah

tis offical im a drunk when the stones play........not hardcore kinda you aboutn te guy...but EVERY fuckin time they play i drink it up wit the boys from her..and every time i end up here. haaaaaaaaaa

oiwheowingsd

too many egg mcmuphins this morneing
jlksdjgoiwenjg

joigjweoignoiweg

is it wrong that it wook me over 5 minutes to type in my username and password?

man, i am a pretty good typer for being wasted,. i give myself mad proprs since none else will.

peace to the middle est yo!!!

---i love the golden apple. there specials are delicous.

i have been soberer

I;m on my way captian!

is it wrong that it wook me over 5 minutes to type in my username and password?

man, i am a pretty good typer for being wasted,. i give myself mad proprs since none else will.

peace to the middle est yo!!!

---i love the golden apple. there specials are delicous.

This post is so worth it. Especially the first sentence.

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

5:26 and the weekend is ahead of me! 10 down 14 to go!!!! yeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

5:26 and the weekend is ahead of me! 10 down 14 to go!!!! yeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh

Don't forget the Jim Rome drunk bus #.

1-800-bleaaaaaahghgh

Looks like you got it though, no worries.

Why does the Jagermeister bottle have the Milwaukee Bucks logo on it anyway?

I'm thinking of holding out for the "Post here when you're on mescaline" thread.

Oh, here' a6this old threada. Anywho, i'm a bit drunk right now.

*DNING*

ITS 2 PM...MY BLALS ARE SHWING!!!

Oh, here' a6this old threada. Anywho, i'm a bit drunk right now.

ROFL

Drunk, or just buszxing? THat is the quiestion.

Unfortunately I'm not... But this morning I felt like I got hit by a semi.

I'll be here later, I'd imagine.

I'll be here later, I'd imagine.

Good call bumping it now so you don't have to dig it up later...

I'll be here later, I'd imagine.


http://www.thesmokinggun.com/graphics/art3/0802062inside1.jpg
I'll be herre waytting for you erayyyyyy. I'm up too .15 now, wayta minnit, you're not wonna "them" are yoo?


*pukes*

I'll be here later, I'd imagine.
Good call bumping it now so you don't have to dig it up later...

great point. the last thing you want is to search for the thread while you're wasted. e-ray could take a wrong turn and wind up at the WTFgayporn.com forums.... :eek:

are you and the other syndicate members have something to tell us Matt?

are you and the other syndicate members have something to tell us Matt?
no, i have no idea WTF you're talking about.








*clears browser history*
[smilie=running.gif]

I am the fucking drunjkes evar! Ficky you and your Mle Geibsion Artciles!

I am the fucking drunjkes evar! Ficky you and your Mle Geibsion Artciles![smilie=beer.gif]

im a lil drunk, dont really have anything to say, but thought id honor the thread. my gf surprised me with a 12-pack and 3 sparks plus, tuned into cathouse (bunny ranch) on 'on demand', and then got a headache and is sleeping :(. before you say anything, she is the nymph in the relationship... but it still sucks that im stuck with a half-drunken hooker mind and im here. hopefully my roommate will be home soon so we can get some video games goin on.

Fuck ya'll and your aKONHERED THREADS.

edit: i mean why is thisa therad names after me, i really dont' know!

im drunk and goin to bed with the gf.

BYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

[smilie=running.gif]

Fuck ya'll and your aKONHERED THREADS.

edit: i mean why is thisa therad names after me, i really dont' know!


Tried to make it easier for you to find.

Ah, that's quite considerate, thank you. I should be here later if all goes well.

I promisded I"d be herea., IAnd here I ma. Colleeg is drunka. Wered, peace out@

btw WARM milawaylkyee best is the worst thing aevar. Gross.

eray is teh king softhe drunk threead.

I promisded I"d be herea., IAnd here I ma. Colleeg is drunka. Wered, peace out@

btw WARM milawaylkyee best is the worst thing aevar. Gross.


for $5 a 12er and 5.9% alcohol you cant really go wrong. i think im still buzzed from last night. i yelled at a stripper lol

I promisded I"d be herea., IAnd here I ma. Colleeg is drunka. Wered, peace out@

btw WARM milawaylkyee best is the worst thing aevar. Gross.


for $5 a 12er and 5.9% alcohol you cant really go wrong. i think im still buzzed from last night. i yelled at a stripper lol

You yelled at a stripper while drunk? ROFL.

And LMAO at Denny's thread title change.

to previous post: yes but not at the strip club. she was trying to make some kinda 'jay n silent bob' comparison cuz when she stopped at the gas station i was talkin to my buddy who worked there. i cussed her out while he was tryin to hit on her lol. she flipped me off and made a dying vulture noise, so i layed into her. she works at the nastiest club in town and didnt have much to say to me after that, end of story.

to tonight: im drunk but daaaamn my gf was drunk when she got here. literally too drunk to fuck. she tried to play some ddr (sad i know) and ended up almost passing out on the floor next to the pad. i carried her to bed, slammed a couple more beers, and figured id make a drunk post here. not too drunk to fuck here, but too drunk to play madden :(

I didn't post here yesterday, but...

I promisded I"d be herea., IAnd here I ma. Colleeg is drunka. Wered, peace out@

btw WARM milawaylkyee best is the worst thing aevar. Gross.

for $5 a 12er and 5.9% alcohol you cant really go wrong. i think im still buzzed from last night. i yelled at a stripper lol
You yelled at a stripper while drunk? ROFL.

And LMAO at Denny's thread title change.
Why dos eberybofy stil think i have power here i dont hjave owerr. fuxcjk you.

Bad eray impression, I know.

drunk story of the month:

so at about 12:30am the neighbors dogs which ive mentioned somewhere on this forum (pet peeve i think), are barking like mad. the neighbors arent even home. i call the cops. about 12:50 the roommate n i decide to walk to the gas station across the street n get some beer, id only had 2 beers and was out. on the way out the door, the neighbor who is now home, runs out screamin what he thinks is my name 'BEN BEN!!!' (its gene). hes all like 'you got a problim with me?' and i say not in particular. he says 'you got a problem with my dogs?' and i say yeah they bark like fuck and i cant take it anymore. he starts cussin at me and jason (roomie) n i keep tellin him to go home because hes drunk. his wife is yellin at him to not get in trouble and we're calmly tellin him to go home while he is yellin at us. at one point he has his fist cocked at me and im just starin him down, telling him to go home. then he gets in jasons face and jason says 'you wouldnt hit a guy with glasses' (LOL) while he stared him down too. his wife finally comes into my yard to grab him and pushes him inside. so we go to the gas station...

were there about 2 minutes, i look out the door and my gf is running full speed into the gas station. im thinkin wtf. apparantly the neighbor was in my front yard screaming 'come out here you fukin nigger!!'. keep in mind im white (and so is he so if you want his address to beat some ass just PM me). when the gf poked her head out the door, thinking jason n i were out there, he started saying he was gonna beat her ass and to 'get your nigger boyfriend out here'. so jason and i run back to my yard and hes standin there yellin stupid shit, constantly callin me a nigger (PM please lol). literally, every other word. at this point in time his 4 year old daughter is standing on the porch crying because her dad is an ass, and i actually like her so i felt bad but what am i supposed to do? he runs up to us again and i keep pointing out that hes acting like this in front of his daughter and thats just not cool, really trying to diffuse the situation because thats how i am. i keep telling him to go to bed and sleep it off. eventually he goes back to his yard. he calls me a nigger-backwards-hat-wearin-ghetto-nigger so i cock my hat sideways for a sec and make a funny face (im still white). he cusses under his breath for a minute. by this time all the neighbors are outside at 1am wondering what is going on. heres the juice:

jason has my wing, about 2 feet back and 2 feet to the right. the neighbor charges at me from about 30 feet away, beer gut floppin, bare drunken feet tryin to find the way, and fist all ready to go. he throws at my face so i dodge to the left, and push him to the right. he caught me a bit in the right shoulder but it was really nothin, pussy. apparantly jason thought he was goin for him next, so as i push him to the right, he meets jasons fist head on with his chin. mofo is on the sidewalk sprawled out in no time. he starts tryin to get up, and as he tries to get up i can tell that when he gets up hes goin after me again so i kick him hard as hell in the face. his head snapped back like you rarely see even in mma or boxing. hangover + headkick headache tomorrow. i know better than to keep going so i stopped there, dont wanna go to jail. by this time my gf already has the cops on the way. to make a long story not longer, he gets cuffed and hauled to jail, cops totally on our side which is how it should have been. but his bitch said we both beat him down and repeatedly kicked him in the face which is not true, he only got hit a total of two times.

then..... this morning at 6am im like fuk it and decide to rip the fence down that keeps their dogs in, it really is my fence and i dont need it anyway. so the neighbor comes out and swings at me over the fence, once again i dodge his drunk ass. hes callin me a pussy, i inform him that he is bitchmade, yada yada. then they call the cops on ME. turns out i cant cut the fence down til 7am. they tried tellin the cops it was their fence and the cops basically told em fuk u its not, the joints face his (my) yard. i was nice enough to not press charges again for him pathetically swingin at me. cops just told me wait til 7 then keep doin what i was doin. so i went back out at 7:01 and now they dont have a fence. whole time the shitty dad was yellin at me through the window but i guess his bitch kept him in cuz she knows he woulda got jacked the fuk up.

so whats the moral of this story? well my parents are good friends with their landlord, i own my house, and they're behind on rent. so... dont fuk with your neighbor unless you know u will have a place to live next month. so long fuckers [smilie=rofl.gif]

nvm... not working

Nice story. Poor little girl though.

Natty is nasty.

I heart the pizae. WOHA!

[smilie=burger.gif]

[smilie=clappy.gif]

[smilie=thumbsup.gi:

This is by far the best named thread here.

Yal us dorty. dIrty!!!!

You can ecpec me posting here between 2 and 4 am. Goodbye.

fUCK@ mY COMputer's broiken. Fck you all. My friend spilled beer on it and i am pissed. I willl be pissed forever. DIe MOTHERFUCKERS!

I hate fat people. no, i hate fat people who complain about being fat. scratch that, i hate fat women who complain about neing fat. And I want all skinny women who complain about being fat to be tied down and be force fed twinkies while being ridiculed and called "cows". If you're fat and you bitvh about it every goddamn day, then do something about it lard ass. "Oh my god I'm soo fat!" What we're supposed to feel sorry for you? Like "oh no, Colonel Sanders tied you up and forced you to eat the whole bucket AGAIN???" Fuck you. if you're fat and cool with your fatness, then more power to you. rock on with your fat self. I have no problem with your kind. People all over the world are starving to death and we have stupid bitches complaining about being fat. I say we feed all the so called fat girls to the poor children of the owrld. Solve everyone's problems. And since when did skinny women become sexy??? fuck a Calvin Klein! I want a woman who looks like a fuckin woman, not a 14 year old vietnamese boy. So when I hear a women who actually has hips and an ass complain about being fat, I hate her. and what the goddamn hell is up with women all of the suffen complaining about arm fat??? Ya know, the muscle that some normal people call a tricep which when not being flexed will retain a loose muscle appearance that will move around when poked at or shaken? I hope you die. If you want your body and skin to look like a fuckin leather congo drum, then go out fake tanning with Victoria Bekham and maybe she can teach you her secrets to becoming an annorexic oompa loompa bobblehead.

bitches.

I hate fat people. no, i hate fat people who complain about being fat. scratch that, i hate fat women who complain about neing fat. And I want all skinny women who complain about being fat to be tied down and be force fed twinkies while being ridiculed and called "cows". If you're fat and you bitvh about it every goddamn day, then do something about it lard ass. "Oh my god I'm soo fat!" What we're supposed to feel sorry for you? Like "oh no, Colonel Sanders tied you up and forced you to eat the whole bucket AGAIN???" Fuck you. if you're fat and cool with your fatness, then more power to you. rock on with your fat self. I have no problem with your kind. People all over the world are starving to death and we have stupid bitches complaining about being fat. I say we feed all the so called fat girls to the poor children of the owrld. Solve everyone's problems. And since when did skinny women become sexy??? fuck a Calvin Klein! I want a woman who looks like a fuckin woman, not a 14 year old vietnamese boy. So when I hear a women who actually has hips and an ass complain about being fat, I hate her. and what the goddamn hell is up with women all of the suffen complaining about arm fat??? Ya know, the muscle that some normal people call a tricep which when not being flexed will retain a loose muscle appearance that will move around when poked at or shaken? I hope you die. If you want your body and skin to look like a fuckin leather congo drum, then go out fake tanning with Victoria Bekham and maybe she can teach you her secrets to becoming an annorexic oompa loompa bobblehead.

bitches.

I am goung to print this and when you calls be a negative peronm i will show her this amnd say "and you call mne bitter and negative"!

Good show!

Fucking Nice, NQ.

Anthony misses this thread.

Shitbombed!

<<<< So Important I demand two posts. I repeat: "Shitbombed!!!"

haha, i love this thread.

Yo...that would be me. fuck...tigers lost today but theyr'e not doing that again.

JL just need to tell the bats to STOP SUCKING so much right now.

just came back from a going away party and an art opening were there was lots of booze. I drank a lot.

th tigers palyed toninght?

NQ that was some funny ass shit. Totally agree. My neighbors from my previous long post are being evicted and have been taken to court over it. :grin: My gf is 'trying' to get drunk but 'cant' even though she is a lightweight. I can drink a lot and have a decent buzz. Go figure.

Yessir!

I don't think that it has been 3 months since anyone here got drunk, yet no posts in this thread in that time.

Let's get some drunk posting going this weekend. I want to laugh.

You know who you are.

I will get drunk just for you Glenn.

Saturday night for me. Believe it or not, I have a Saturday class, which I hate.
I will drink with UxKa. Long distance quarters game. Should be fun.

I was just having a quiet evening at home with the miss and I finally got so bored I went and got beer. Not sure if Ill be getting drunk per say, but the spirit is there.

Zip, how do you play quarters over the net? Honor system?

UxKa:
Honors system, absolutely right! In fact, I just missed 129 consecutive quarter tosses, and have had three beers as a result.
This could get ugly.
Unless I improve, I'm going to be out tonight having my balls tatooed.

BOOOOOOOO

Set up a post here when you're hungover thread and I'd be all over it. I never remember when I'm drunk.

How about a thread where people remind you of the stupid shit you did while drunk, and you tell the story here?
Sometimes when you wake up in a dumpster in Albuquerque with a couple of transvestites, with a cucumber up your ass, and you're wearing a Darth Vader mask, you think it's weird, but when you retell it on a message board a few days later (after the bond hearing), it might seem a little funnier!

I'm reasonably drunk... about to orders some fuckin pizza bitches and it had better be fuckin good, else that shit is UNFORGIVABLE.

I'm not really drunk (anymore), but here's my story: I started drinking beer at about 4:00 P.M. yesterday, at the Holliday Lounge. Typical 4:00 crowd at the Holliday, four guys playing pinochle, three old dudes at the bar, lot's of smoke, the white trash barfly sitting by the window spilling her drama out to some drunk dude (probably the only guy who's ever gone to this bar and still not banged this chick).
Anyway, I go from there to "The Brass Knocker", and after a couple more beers, realize that up on the BIg Screen, they have the UM-MSU game on, so I watch it. Which means I drink more beer.
Then I get home, and do some shit (I got some kids or something that I have to talk to every couple days), and go to bed.
Now, here's the problem: Sometimes when I do this, and it only happens about 6 times a week, I wake up at about 2:30 with no sign of a hangover except for a face ache.
That's right, a face ache. Now, don't get funny, I don't get into any fights (this is Omaha, Nebraska, people), nor did I get slapped by a woman for drooling down her shirt. I just have a face ache. My cheekbones (high and pointed cheekbones, by the way) hurt, and my nose (unbelievably crooked, almost upside down it's so crooked) hurts, and my eye sockets hurt.
How do you hangover?

I get joint pain, especially knees, fingers and ankles.

Found out a few years ago that joint pain like that is a symptom of dehydration.

I get some of the joint pain also.
Onething I DO appreciate about boozing is the Morning After Nuclear Powered Constitutional.
Houston, we have liftoff!
And I never forget the courtesy flush.

I dont get hangovers, Im Irish. The worst I get is an uncontrollable urge to start drinking as soon as I wake up :)

I get joint pain, especially knees, fingers and ankles.

Found out a few years ago that joint pain like that is a symptom of dehydration.

Alcohol in your blood interferes with your body's ability to expel uric acid. If you drink very frequently, monosodium urate crystals form on joint cartilage and cause pain. That's gout.

Alcohol in your blood interferes with your body's ability to expel uric acid. If you drink very frequently, monosodium urate crystals form on joint cartilage and cause pain. That's gout.

Talk about a thread killer.

Not really shit-bombed or anything, but we were SLAMMED all night tonight at work and I'm so worn out after my 15 hour day, I can't really bring myself to go home. Sitting in the office listening to Fugazi, sipping on Jameson for about 2 hours now.

Love Fugazi.

Margin Walker is one of my faves, actually the whole 13 Songs album is killer.

I'm not drunk, just been awake since 4:30 am with two babies that don't want to sleep. So I feel a bit tipsy myself.

Im not drunk, yet... but had to add my two cents that Fugazi is one of the best bands ever.

Goddammit. This one girl I was gonna hang out with left, and she went God knows where. I'm fucking stuck here with no party or anything to go to. I'm so goddamn tired.

And yes, I'm drunk. Otherwise, I would not bump up this thread.

Is e-ray on the wagon?

My head hurts...

300 is a great movie. Scissor me timbers!

PS I hope you all watch South Park...

300 is a great movie. Scissor me timbers!

PS I hope you all watch South Park...

Hells yeah, just watched that one this afternoon. Quality.

I just found out that Kurt Vonnegut died a few months ago from a post in my fantasy baseball league. I must be drunk because right now that's one of the most depressing things to happen in in months (the fact that I heard it in such a setting so late, not the fact that he died which is truly sad...). (And don't get me wrong, it's not like anyone else in my league has ever read a KV book, don't ask why it came up, too complicated....) RIP Kurt.



(Just spent 3 minutes trying to figure out how to make this post make sense but then I realized what thread I'm in so I hope it fits in just fine....)

Kurt died days ago Vin, not months.

Also RIP Don Ho.

RIP to all the hoes Glenn! Don't be a hoe hater.

Im not drunk yet (its my bday so Im allowed to be drinking this early) but this is the thread where I wrote the long neighbor story so I guess its where to post the funny new neighbor story. Yes they still live there, somehow they settled their rent issue and my mom couldnt convince their landlord to evict them for being assholes. Anyway...

They put up a new fence on Saturday which is in code violation because it is only considered 'temporary fencing', its chicken wire and temporary posts. Today my mom comes over to meet with the code checker guy while he was here. In case you dont know, to have that job you have to be a law enforcement officer and he wears a badge. The dogs are out barking at the three of us. The mom comes out and we just happened to be looking at the dogs because they were barking five feet away and he just happened to be taking a picture of them for records. The mom yells at us, something about they wont stop barking if we are staring and we are antagonizing them. Then a couple minutes later we are in the front of the house and she walks out to get the mail and we glance her direction. She yells at us and says we were harassing her and she was going to call the cops. About ten minutes later the cops arrive, all the while that we had a law enforcement agent standing with us. To top it off, it was the same officer that arrested the dad last year and came the next morning so he knew who the 'bad guys' in the situation really were. After the cop took her statement that we looked at her, the code guy had about a fifteen minute conversation with the officer and he basically ripped up the report. Then the code guy wrote them up for three things, one being the fence so they will have to rip that out. Another code which is just nasty, is they dont throw their dog poop out... they pile it in the back corner of their yard and of course the corner that is against my property. There is so much dog shit there (about the size of a loveseat but not quite as tall) it constitutes a manure pile and you cant have a manure pile in the city.

So yeah, theres my funny story of the day so far. I could go on for a couple more pages about all the run-ins with the neighbors since my last post about them... but the fact that they called the cops on us for looking at them while one of the people looking at them was part of law enforcement was too priceless to not post.

Happy B-day Uxka. I always enjoy these stories.

I just found out that Kurt Vonnegut died a few months ago from a post in my fantasy baseball league. I must be drunk because right now that's one of the most depressing things to happen in in months (the fact that I heard it in such a setting so late, not the fact that he died which is truly sad...). (And don't get me wrong, it's not like anyone else in my league has ever read a KV book, don't ask why it came up, too complicated....) RIP Kurt.



(Just spent 3 minutes trying to figure out how to make this post make sense but then I realized what thread I'm in so I hope it fits in just fine....)

Then you'll enjoy this article:
15 Things Kurt Vonnegut Said Better Than Anyone Else Ever Has Or Will (http://www.avclub.com/content/feature/15_things_kurt_vonnegut_said)

Kurt Vonnegut was probably one of the most soulful writers ever. He had to go through some dark stuff that the rest of us can only guess about, and it turned him into a very powerful writer.

EDIT: my favorite one:

Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies—God damn it, you've got to be kind.

I am really fucking drunk.

this is so fucked up. i was seach9ing for the drunk thresd and wrotye drunk and hasd to scroll down to five posts to find this thread. fuck this fucking fucked up shit this her nobody is wasted anmymore so this is bullshit fuck yopu all fuckers. fucking tekila.

There are too many damn thread to search through...someone Pm me if there is ont and I missed it...but i startated this this on a few othters...needs too be here..






<--sidewayz

I gave up alcohol about 2 weeks ago and let me tell you I am craving a drink more than ever, anything, I think I may be an alcoholic and not even no it, but I guess there are a lot of people out there like that. Anyways...enjoy that buzz, it's great

Naa...you dont need one...you need a red bulll...and....umm...sprite!

....Muscle Milk and Soy?
....Crunchy Soft Taco?

...stay sober my friend!!!!!


















...damn, did this shit backfire, I blame Mola, Joe and Darko!!

Damnit, go to my thread.

Damnit, go to my thread.

Merged.

Accept no substitute.

I haven't been out all week. Just finished closing the bar, think I'm staying for a "few" with my tenders. "Preemptive Post."

Yes many.

Im kinda drunk. Apparantly I should have posted last night but I probably couldn't have found the PC. I don't remember anything after my buddy Jason came over to play some Mario Party 8 on the Wii. By the time I went to bed, the gf walked me into the bedroom where I promptly tripped over the dog and hit some piece of furniture but I don't have any injuries. She tried helping me up but I refused, and apparantly it took me ten minutes to finally stand again. I then tried ripping her pants off but failed before finally falling face-first onto the bed and immediately passing out. I awoke this morning having no idea how I ended up in the guest bedroom. Part two is tonight lol.

Whya am I stiall drinking it!!!!!!

jerrysalinemich (11:58:50 PM): roling down the streat smoking endo , sippoing on gin and jice, laid back, goat my mind on my mioney and my money ons my mina
heilbeauregard (11:59:13 PM): fuck it pour me a drink
jerrysalinemich (11:59:26 PM): 1 4 TIM~
heilbeauregard (11:59:38 PM): yes
jerrysalinemich (11:59:39 PM): and onea for my dead hoimies
heilbeauregard (11:59:49 PM): damnit you stole what I was gonna say
jerrysalinemich (11:59:51 PM): tha's 0

You gualg running slavicalkien sunofa btich , I ahve you digging gccoadl out of tunda in sibeera .

If I'm the one running the gulag then you're the one digging.

Do my work, prisoner.

Can you guys give each other hand jobs on AIM too?

He prefers to use his mouth.

lol

Nice to see Bubs here again.

Even if it is in a drunken state.

Thank you, thank you.

I was about to thank you, but you edited your post.

Instead, my parents will thank you.

http://www.scotlaurinn.com/album/images/dick-kay.jpg
Thanks Tim! Make sure you wear sunscreen this weekend or you'll get sunburn!

--Dick and Kay

They're welcome. And might I add they produced a beautiful kid.

I'll go as far as say sexy, even.


Anyway to stay on topic I haven't touched an alcoholic beverage since I finished HS (addicted to soda/pop though) and my friend Pride (aka "PRZA") is throwing a house party on the 28th. Either I'm going to be a pussy or I'm going to push off and shoot over Russell.

I've been Signature Sodomized.

I haven't gone anywhere Glenn, I've been lurking.

I will be "shitfaced" tonight, but I can't promise I'll make it here. I'll do what I can.

yessir!

Can I post here when I begin to OD on xanax? The symptoms after all are kind've like when you're drunk...

Can I post here when I begin to OD on xanax? The symptoms after all are kind've like when you're drunk...

No.

Please use the "Fun/OD with Xanax" thread.

Thanks in advance.

Affirmative.

Or is this just drunk, or PUI? Posting under the influence of a controlled substance?

The wife just told me its a good thing you get happy when you have a couple or you wouldn't be having a couple.

This spells trouble when with all the peeps on this baord and I'm posting here 2 times in a row.

Damnit, 3 in a row.

Do y'all not drink or just not post here?

If I knew it was gonna be this kind of party, I'd of stuck my dick in the Mashed Potatoes!

Usually when I drink I have a hard time finding it to the drunk thread. Just how things go.

I wanted to get drunk, go to the store, and ruin Harry Potter for everyone last week. I'm watching videos of the spoilers on youtube and I feel like I'm missing out. Doubt I would've remembered to post here though.

The way it's been lately, I've been coming home drunk (per usual). However, the computer is all the way downstairs, and my bed is no more than 16 feet away from the front door.

Fuck that.

I wanted to get drunk, go to the store, and ruin Harry Potter for everyone last week. I'm watching videos of the spoilers on youtube and I feel like I'm missing out. Doubt I would've remembered to post here though.

Spoiler below in white text for gay Harry Potter shit (DO NOT HIGHLIGHT IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW)

* There's tons of fighting and a lot of people die. Harry ends up finding out that, according to Dumbledore's plan, he is supposed to die in the end. So he walks right up to Voldemort and gives himself up, to save his friends. Voldemort whacks him.

* Harry's dead. He ends up having a conversation with Dumbledore where he explains tons of stuff - Dumbledore admits he was kind of a wanker when he was young, and that Harry is by far the better man. He also says that Harry's sacrifice to save his friends has the same magic as his mom's sacrifice to save Harry - his friends can't be hurt by Voldemort anymore. Oh, and by the way, since Voldemort used Harry's blood to rebuild his body, Harry can come back from the dead if he wants to.

* While he's in wherever it is dead people go, he has a really creepy vision of what's going to end up happening to Voldemort's soul.

* Harry comes back and helps the teachers and kids at Hogwarts fight off the Death Eaters. Harry gives Voldemort one last chance to feel remorse, but of course he doesn't take it. Voldemort gets fuckin' put down by a gang of Hogwarts teachers, and Mrs. Weasley ends up putting Bellatrix Lestrange on ice in revenge for her son Fred getting killed.

* Tons of people end up dead. Fred Weasley, Remus Lupin, Tonks and her dad, Mad-Eye Moody, Peter Pettigrew, and Snape. Lots of other minor characters too.

* Snape was a good guy all along. He didn't much like Harry, because he was in love with Harry's mom and hated his dad, but he was still a good guy. He killed Dumbledore because Dumbledore wanted him to.

* Harry and Ginny Weasley get married and have kids. Their kids' names are James, Lily, and Albus Severus Potter.

Thanks man, now I can use this information to find friends of mine who read the series but haven't read the new one yet. Yeah, I'm a week off...but there's bound to be someone I can spoil it for.

BOMBED!!! Refuse this thread to be hijacked by Harry Potter! Haven't been posting much, too depressed about the Tigers falling into the shitter. Leaving for Vegas in 5 Hours....wish me luck!!! First vacation in 2 years and god do I need it...

Good luck. The best way to have fun in Vegas is to take your life savings with you when you go, and just throw caution to the wind. Put 8 grand on 21 red for me.

I uh...wait, what?

Chica, tenemos el tempranillo? Donde?

Does it count if I got slightly bombed yesterday afternoon and played a pretty good round of golf at Milt's? On nine holes, I had FIVE one putt greens. Amazing.

Bombed alot lately, went to Vegas and have just kept the bender going since. Birthday's on the 26th, sounds like as good an ending point as any.

boy these asgirls ar5e hot.

[pic]http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y234/impulse84/WH_fat_girls.jpgp[/.pic]


oioopps

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y234/impulse84/WH_fat_girls.jpg[img]

ooopsss

[img]http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y234/impulse84/WH_fat_girls.jpg

therse!!

Everclear = 95% alcohol by colume = gran death.

bumped for e-ray.

Meh...... Why did this happen?

Imaginationnnn! Imagina-a-a-a-ati0n!.... Imaginaaatttion!

Where are you people?! This is boring.

This thread is dead!

Dead! Like Steve Irwin an a chock pile of gatorsnrays!

Michigan will beat Ohio State.

Michigan will beat Ohio State.

Hardly a drunken thought

I'm stoned too.

I may get fucked up tonight for no reason at all.

I may get fucked tonight for no reason at all.

Please ignore everything that I posted here after 7:30 pm last night.

This should not be much of an adjustment for most, if not all, of you.

Do you mean this thread or the forum in general?

I have a post-post here when you are drunk thread. Last night...big time, big time. And paying for it today.

I'm a lil buzzed, bout to make a UT3 map. Thats for another thread I'm about to make though.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, shots and beer.

Lots and lots of Killians and Hofbrau and some Captain while watching Fight Club with my roommate and some blonde chick we work with is definitely a good idea.

I've converted about 30 cds so far... cracking my first beer.

I'm hammerin right now... beers that is. My boy went to the Winter Ball dance so his group, about 10 kids and parents made about 30 peeps came over for corsage pinnings, pics, chat, just left for dinner and the dance so on to my amplified relaxation technique...LOTS OF FUCKING BEER!

Always a good plan.

Apparantly I have reached the end of the internet, and I can't do much else since my PC needs my attention every minute or so. I have also reached the end of another beer.

I know when I strat to get realy drunk I always miss my dog. ALmost 15 years I had her, but she was done.

Here'is to Sadie the best dog I've ever had!

Raises glass to Sadie

*drinks to Sadie*


My dog is gassy tonight. He insists on laying by somebody while he chews his bone too.

I CANT WAIT TO GET ANOTHER DOG. The wife wan't exactly a dog person but after Sadie, shes ready to. We have a coupleof things to take care of first then another dog or maybe 2. can't wait

Killed a 12-pack of Killians and a 6 pack of the German beer last night, and some Captain. It was a good night.

Taymelo's new banner ad...

http://img.turn.com/img-data/a-300x250_10-22-07_yellowpages_seg-b_turn.com/A-300x250_10-22-07_YELLOWPAGES/A-300x250_YELLOW_BACKGR.gif

Guilty as chareved, motheruvker.

hope I don't puke tonight. I'm just got over the flu and prolly drank a couple to many.

That's why I didn't do any drinking tonight. Still getting over it.

fuck its hits you all of the sudden or something.

2 nights in a row...uh oh.

Tahoe, the baby back bitch that can't handle back to back drunken evenings.

Try back to back years

Touche.

Killing Self wold be a cool name for a band.

Killing Self wold be a cool name for a band.

I always wanted to go with "Seven Year Bender" for the name of my first book/band/song/whatever, but then it had to go and turn into "12 years and counting" so now I'm just a little worried about the liver damage.

Bump for Tahoe's inebriated attack to 10,000 posts.

wtf...

Gettin there...I worked till 9 pfrigginm so I've got some catching up to do.

Druneks. Moreso than when I was wondering watf was going on at 11

PS I only type this bas when I'm drunks.

Druneks. Moreso than when I was wondering watf was going on at 11

PS I only type this bas when I'm drunks.

:sirdouche:Sir Douche Baggins greatly approves.

I've had a couple tonight again too.

wEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I'm sad to see I didn't make an appearance last night.

I'm perdy 3ell smoked. Y'all motherufckerus better change m name to cherry poppins.s

Vinny's favorite catch-phrases that never really got as big as they needed to:

1. "Boooya-Shaka!!!"

2. "Shaaaaaazzzaam!"

3. "Jump Back!" [Hey, I know what you're thinking. Jump Back? "What the hell is Vinny thinking? I mean, I know Vin's a weird guy but "Jump Back"? That's not a catch phrase!" Well, my good friend, I must implore you to watch the movie Footloose again. There's a scene where Kevin Bacon is first told that the small country town he's moved to does not allow dancing and he is so shocked and so confused that all he can utter is "Juuuump Back!" with a dumbfounded look on his face. The effect of those words is awestriking. Sometime not too long after this Kenny Loggins chimes in with a song and Bacon (or "Ren" as he's known in the film.) starts randomly doing male gymnastics and then plays chicken with a tractor. Do yourself a favor and check it out. Also, I'm wasted.]

4. "Taaa-Dooooooouuw!"

MoTown Update:

- In Palm Springs, CA
- Had 4 Long Islands
- Happy
- Sitting by the pool
- Sunburned
- Still fucking hates Cleveland

How's Michigan?

I'm sober enough to find this thread. What a sad story.

Yeah, so they celebrate St Pat's day today everywhere or is it just a Chicago thing? Working all day, finally catching a little buzz, drunk people EVERYWHERE in this city right now.

Hooooray Guinness!

Extra Stout.

I was fucking messed up until about 4:00 today.

I had a couple with the boys after work and I'm feeling those bastards. I only had like 4 or 5 domestics and I'm feeling them.

Vinny are you up north?

Up North in the city?

Why the fuck is this thread only 4 stars?

Who fuckin' done it?

I fuckin hate liwker buss. Fuckin shit, 13 shots aint nutin.

Up North in the city?

Oops, forgot about this. Yes, in the city? My brother lived up just west of Wrigley. Lincoln Park was a lil further east.

We used to go to his buddies bar...can't remember the street, but it was called Sweet Home back then.

Great city.

Oops, forgot about this. Yes, in the city? My brother lived up just west of Wrigley. Lincoln Park was a lil further east.

We used to go to his buddies bar...can't remember the street, but it was called Sweet Home back then.

Great city.

Yeah, I live pretty much in Lincoln Park, a little Southeast of there. I think I remember hearing of a place called Sweet Home but places change there names left and right.

And there is a bar on just about every corner in parts of Chicago. My brother lived in NY, Chicago and moved to LA, he liked New York, but Chicago is still his fav. Neighborhood bars, Wrigley, the lake, etc. Hard to beat for a big city.

Linkin Park!- hell yeah! I'm fuckin, i'm drunk as heyull. What i would wish is that more pl would say teh tigers are fuckin terrihle.

I mean seriously we added Cabrera. Suck everything else. Chrish "Big Red" sheltion is the only reason we got to the WS.

I used to live in Lakeview, on Barry between Sheffield and the corner of Clark & Halsted. Had a blast living there, man. I could walk to anything I needed. Unfortunately I was making 40G a year living in that hood, which after taxes and drugs is hardly anything.

I used to live in Lakeview, on Barry between Sheffield and the corner of Clark & Halsted. Had a blast living there, man. I could walk to anything I needed. Unfortunately I was making 40G a year living in that hood, which after taxes and drugs is hardly anything.

Even when you're drunk you make sense.

Right, I hear ya. I have my own plans. Very low chance I live in the Detroit area... I would welcome it come the right opportunity, but I also know what my dream is.

I used to live in Lakeview, on Barry between Sheffield and the corner of Clark & Halsted. Had a blast living there, man. I could walk to anything I needed. Unfortunately I was making 40G a year living in that hood, which after taxes and drugs is hardly anything.

Yeah, money only goes so far in this city, especially when you're young and going out alot. I know that area well, I've lived in Lakeview/LP for pretty much for the last 12 years. Went to DePaul.

And there is a bar on just about every corner in parts of Chicago. My brother lived in NY, Chicago and moved to LA, he liked New York, but Chicago is still his fav. Neighborhood bars, Wrigley, the lake, etc. Hard to beat for a big city.

I love this city, it's the perfect happy medium. Big city fun but still laid back and neighborhoods if you want them. It's like 50% NYC, 50% Detroit.

Yeah, money only goes so far in this city, especially when you're young and going out alot. I know that area well, I've lived in Lakeview/LP for pretty much for the last 12 years. Went to DePaul.
My sister in law went to DePaul too. She got her PhD from Wayne, tho.

My sister in law went to DePaul too. She got her PhD from Wayne, tho.

2 degrees?

Hmmm...

Well, yeah. BS -> MS -> PhD

I'm pretty buzzed. Don't really have anything to say, but thought I'd mention that. Go Cubs!!

I'm on the wagon...almost 2 boring ass weeks.

The femalien pissed after than drunken hooker binge?

I was pounding way too much for way too long...beers that is.

I'm just postponing intake for a while. My buddy can do this just on the weekends stuff...never been able to do that. It starts out fine, but then its Fri, Sat and Sun, then thursday creeps in their somehow, then monday night football is on and pretty soon its fuck it, every night again.

Yeah I tend to do that too. I'm basically relieved of baby duty tonight thanks to the NCAA so thought I'd pound a few.

Christopher Walken is on SNL tonight so everybody at home better tune in. Maybe we will be treated to some Continental.

Yeah I tend to do that too. I'm basically relieved of baby duty tonight thanks to the NCAA so thought I'd pound a few.

Christopher Walken is on SNL tonight so everybody at home better tune in. Maybe we will be treated to some Continental.

I might roll me a big fat joint and smoke it right before it comes on.

I might roll me a big fat joint and smoke it


Up top!

http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/451212/2/istockphoto_451212_high_five.jpg

Prolly better for me.

Everything's better than a neck tattoo.

All but done for, trying to tell my lovesick buddy not to go running across the street to where his girlfriend (it's controversial and they're on again off again...) works. You've got to keep "hand" goddamnit!!

Hand is very important. I hope he didn't give it up. Its nearly 4:30 and I can hear the birds starting to chirp outside. I've had way too much to drink but I"m trying to chug a bunch of waer before I go to bed and I made sure I had a DD so I feel like its ok. I'm not sure if I can make it from my computer chair to my bed (which is literally 2.5 feet away), buT strangly I"m ok with that. I"D POST in the signing off thread but UI don't know fi I could find it at this point. On a happy note, I won a lot of games of beer pong in a row :)

STICKIED

LET THE COMPETITION BEGIN

Damn right.

yay here weit is. off workl now by.

I bet gusman still can't find it.

Code ORange. Preakness tomorrow , I am rdrinkin' early!

You've got to keep "hand" goddamnit!!

Splain me this concept.

Splain me this concept.

-zqa44fpwa0

-zqa44fpwa0

That was enlightening.

preemptive post

I'm getting lit up tonight

no power

beer is already in the cooler

This needs to be unstickied--

half the fun is finding it!

Done.

Experiment: Load up on Tequila, then stare at DrRay's sig for 5 minutes.

The meaning of life shall be found...

I think this got stickied because everyone was using the impostor thread instead.

That's okay, this can be a VIP version I suppose.

Bar night. One of those nights where you're on the internet but you only have one eye open. When you stop to think about it, you have no idea why.

Is it the eye in the back of your head at least?

I've got to be up in 5 hours for work. That was not a smart idea. My friends picked me up and said "we're only going out until 11:30ish, come with, you'll still get plenty of sleep". Since I didn't drive, I just got home.

FOUND IT.

thanks to you, i did too.

Mola... I need a link, spot or a DL...

I need to hear the new shit

...and mind you...I saved this drunk post for a legit time..

RIPPIN SHOTS

FINDIN DRUNK THREDS

Chargin yah LAZER?

Chargin yah LAZER?


UKaVBVikysw




Workin on a lil drink, can't say I'm drunk yet but it is a holiday weekend.

Excellent work Ux.

I would say a litle too mcuh 151 but that woul dbe a lie.