I can't beat LDB to 20,000, but I can take him at 30 grand.

Ta Ho' and LDB post pad themselves, so I'm gonna post pad myself.

Starting right now.

Here we go.

This is easy.

Getting closer.

It's like what LDB does....

...but without an accomplice.

1

2

Only 26,047 of these babies to go.

3

I'm gonna be the king of this bitch.

Better than Kool-Aid

4

5

I need a beer.

Shit...MGD?

It'll do. I'd rather drink...

HEINEKEN

Ta Ho' knows, that's how we roll in Cali.

20th post, only a lot more to go.

I'm tireless.

I'm a machine.

I'm on a mission to destroy LDB.

And I'll do it without calling myself "DM"

'Cause DM ain't got no vanity.

I'm on a mission from God.

Like the Blues Brothers.

That was a movie.

From the '80's I think.

Or was it the late '70's?

Because Carrie Fisher was in it...

And if she already played Princess Leia, would Lucas had allowed her...

...to play some fucked up psycho bitch?

I think it was 1978.

Before she got into drugs, and became...

... a real life fucked up psycho bitch.

This is like stream of consciousness spoken word...

...only without all those bitch-made poets.

..who drink espressos with two fingers.

And wear Patchouli oil, because they're special.

Fuck LDB.

I bet HE'S a poet.

And wears a beret, and a black turtleneck.

And reads Harper's.

Gl'enn's gonna kill me.

But I could really be Gl'enn's secret weapon against LDB.

Only if I were...

It's not much of a fucking secret anymore.

Is it?

I like mustard.

Mustard on a burger, but not so much ketchup.

Or is that "Catsup"?

I should ask John Kerry. He'll know for sure.

Mustard, Pickles, and tomatos... but...

NO ICEBERG LETTUCE.

4000th post says "That shit'll kill you"

Jesus told me so.

Saw him at In N Out Burger. It was enlightening.

Maybe there was something in the Chocolate shake.

And why did I just capitalize "Chocolate"?

I'm not really a big fan of chocolate.

But I respect it's power, so maybe that's why.

I can taste victory.

The king is asleep, while I catch up on him.

Maybe that taste is the chinese food I ate?

Kung Pao Chicken.

I like peanuts.

They're in the Kung Pao Chicken, but that would kill some people.

Ever imagine how some people are "deathy" allergic to peanuts?

How can you ever go to a baseball game, then?

That's un-american.

Whoops.. that's un-American.

Rather create a new post than edit.

My quest is to crush LDB.

Crush him like a peanut.

Mindless posts, it's like I'm profiling LDB.

Getting into his mind.

AAAA FUCK!!! OK, I'm back out of his mind.

That was scary. I'm not doing that again.

If you're allergic to peanuts, and you don't go to baseball games, does that...

... make you a communist?

If they can't die for their country, then they can move to Canada.

And watch 'ockey games.

What's the point of selling ice cold beer at a 'ockey game?

It's gonna get ice cold anyways.

Stupid Canadians.

From the land of Michael J. Fox and Bryan Adams.

What's worse -- Canada or Cleveland?

Caada has shitty Quebec, Cleveland has Zekyl.

But WE have Zekyl too. Are we guilty of association?

Like Michigan football fans?

Or people who read Smithsonian.

Man, I need to get going on new Bukdow's Rume strips.

But you can play a one-trick pony only so much.

And then it just gets realllllly boring.

I can pretend he's gay. THAT would help a lot.

What do I mean "pretend"?!

A mustard and roast beef on rye sounds really good right now.

But not that Grey PoopOn shit. French's will do nicely.

But it's closing in on midnight on the Left Coast. Gotta watch those late night munchies.

I'm NOT smoking pot.

I was just talking about mustard, and I got hungry.

LDB slumbers. He has NO IDEA what's going on. This is like a dead of night special ops attack.

But, of course, he'll survive.

Can yo imagine if something really happened to LDB tonight? The fuzz would be on my ass instaantly.

I meant to say "you", not "yo"

And one "a" in "instantly".

Only 29, 950 to go.

If that was money, I could buy a decent car.

Or a boat.

When you're on the ocean in a boat, ever wonder what's swimming underneath it? Scares the shit out of me.

But of course people from Cleveland don't even know what the fuck an ocean IS, so Zekyl hasn't a clue what I'm saying.

Just pretend your inflatable pool is 1000 feet deep, and murky, dude.

......well... just pretend it's 1000 feet deep.

And there's all kinds of crazy shit swimming beneath you and around you, and you can't see any of it.

Wait.....

Replace "swimming" with "walking", and we've got Cleveland.

Is there smog in Cleveland?

It's from all the chalk my king LeBron slaps into the air

You can buy the LeBron talc in Cleveland. I rub it all over my body and runs around naked screaming 'the King iz here'

Zek needs to get a life.

Oh fuck that is funny

Denny, as always, I'm here to help you out. I have some topics that I value your opinion and it would be great if you could touch on them at some point in this thread.

In one sentence or less for each topic, please describe your opinion on the following:

1) Bollywood
2) Manchester United Football Team
3) Kung-Fu
4) Kohls
5) Stem Cell Research
6) Irish Car Bombs
7) Dingleberries
8) Shark Week
9) Salem Witch Trials
10) Uzbekistan

Looks like we have "Aks Denny" now.

Denny, as always, I'm here to help you out. I have some topics that I value your opinion and it would be great if you could touch on them at some point in this thread.

In one sentence or less for each topic, please describe your opinion on the following:

1) Bollywood
2) Manchester United Football Team
3) Kung-Fu
4) Kohls
5) Stem Cell Research
6) Irish Car Bombs
7) Dingleberries
8) Shark Week
9) Salem Witch Trials
10) Uzbekistan

This is not Aks Denny. This is a singular and focused attempt...

... to destroy the legend that is LDB.

I'm serious.

Really.

1) Bollywood -- sucks

2) Manchester United Football Team - sucks

3) Kung-Fu - dos not suck

4) Kohls - sucks

5) Stem Cell Research - does not suck

6) Irish Car Bombs - sucks

7) Dingleberries - sucks

8) Shark Week - only sucks if Fonzie is involved

9) Salem Witch Trials - only sucks if the chick was hot.

10) Uzbekistan -

It has long been my argument that the US has a terrible Central Asia & Caucasus policy insofar as it actually has one. In reality, we have a hodge-podge of ad hoc policies toward individual states in the region. Discussions about US policy in the region is usually emotional, context-free, and painfully lacking area expertise. The quotes above display all of these characteristics.


Keating is emotional about US-Uzbek relations. Yes, Uzbekistan is nasty. (The “one true fact” that people seem to cite about it if they know anything about it at all is that they have a weekly dissident boil out on the president’s lawn.) No, it’s not fun to deal with dictatorships. But, not dealing with Uzbekistan doesn’t make it a better place, and we deal with all kinds of places that rub our moral sensibilities raw. (I hear they sentence people to death for apostasy and blasphemy in Afghanistan. Kids go to prison with their mothers, as well.)
Both authors have an uneasy relationship with facts and context. First and foremost, I am not aware of public opinion on Uzbekistan. I would not be surprised if the number of people in the United States who have an opinion on Uzbekistan tops out at 50,000. Flavelle has a bizarre interpretation of US-Uzbek relations under Bush. Nothing about Bush administration policy toward Uzbekistan had to do public opinion or world opinion. In fact, for at least 2004 and 2005, different parts of the Bush administration seemed to be reading from different playbooks. Most importantly though, the US already has transit deals with Uzbekistan and other Central Asian states. Negotiations on those deals started prior to President Bakiev asking NATO to leave Manas. One thing I like about Obama is that he seems to be more of a Realist than many other US politicians. That gives me some (dare I say it?) hope that his administration might be able to craft a halfway decent, coordinated policy of engagement with Central Asian states. The punditocracy, however, does not appear to be on board with that possibility.

Denny, if it helps at all, WTF can reset my post count to 0 or 4078. I know you have bigger fish to fry (LDB) but thought I'd offer.

Offer? That sounds like a challenge.

Thaoe is second fiddle to nobody, but...

That would be like going after the Sixers instead of the Celtics.

Thaoe... my keyboard has a lisp.

Can inanimate objects be gay? Like...

A keyboard?

I strike fear into the heart of LDB.

Or that's just heartburn from the burrito he ate last night.

PM from Tahoe:
It wasn't a burrito, but it was still meaty and hot

DM would like to know how Thaoe knows that.

Has he hacked LDB's web cam?

If so, I'd like him to hack LDB's post count to 4072, to even the playing field.

DM will pay you in alpacas...

As soon as the contest starts again, and I get me fresh alpaca.

But I suck at gambling.

Which is why I never go to Vegas.

Or Cleveland.

http://www.friendsjunction.com/lileBook.jpg

And a boulder becomes an avalanche.

They braced themselves in the Space Station because of a piece of debris 3/4 of an inch wide MIGHT have impacted them.

Bruce Lee's 1 inch punch.

The Ebola virus.

Nate Robinson

That creepy midget from Twin peaks.

A splinter

You're going down, LDB. First to 30 grand....

Get's a complimentary meal at Burger King.

It's all Gl'enn can afford.

I'm personally committed to stealing LDB's spotlight.

And it's working. Nearly 500 views since 2:06 am ET this morning, and only 164 of them are from me.

That's more posts in less than a day than "A special message from Fool" got in VIEWS spanning FIVE DAYS.

A drop of sweat falls from LDB's forehead. His eyes grow in fear.

Ta ho knows for sure.

He's got the LDB hotline.

Looks something like this:

http://www.rigpix.com/mobphoneana/ericsson_hotline450combi.jpg

I dunno what I prefer in name: Valter or Gl'enn?

Maybe valter, since I hate apostrophes.

So pretentious.

I'm gonna rename myself D'nny M'Lain.

I prefer GlennDanzig, because it works with BrownPaintBrushTool®

Why is there an ad at the bottom of this page? Who's making money off of us?

Gl'enn rolls in a Bimmer, while we eat at Jack in the Box.

I bet it's white. It's a Persian thing.

At this rate, I'll hit 30,000 posts in 223 days.

I can hire Matt Bonner to publicly say LDB is no friend of his.

Bonner can't be making TOO much money, and I don't see any Matt Bonner Nike commercials.

Nobody will know what the fuck he means, but it'll break LDB.

And there's no computers in funny farms.

Well... REAL one's, that is.

So his posts from that day forward will be imaginary, and won't count.

223 days until ultimate glory.

bukkake mushroom cloud piss on anal tits

^Who told you about that?

Gl'enn..

bukkake mushroom cloud piss on anal tits

Like 2 girls, one cup, ay?

I just threw up inside meh mouth.

Everybody wants a piece of ultimate immortality.

Gl'enn is the clearinghouse of useless information.

Gl'enn vs. Bukdow on Jeapordy.

If there's a category "All things Smithsonian", then Bukdow rolls huge.

Would Trebeck allow Gl'enn to write his final Jeapordy answer with his BrownPaintBrushTool®?

Zip vs. Buk vs. Gl'enn on Jeapordy. I'd have to give it to Zip.

I wonder is Zip Goshboots is JUST LIKE Alex Trebeck in real life.

Right down to the porn 'stache.

That would be truly annoying. You'd have to answer everything...

..in the form of a question.

Zip: "It's right here, dear"

Mom: What is "Where's mah food, bitch?!!"

Ya think Alex Trebeck has ever been laid?

By a woman?

NOT named Bukdow?

I wonder what Zip looks like?

Like this?

http://www.funnyphotos.net.au/images/man-carrying-a-shopping-bag-and-wearing-a-weird-pi1.jpg

Like this?

http://oddorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/weird.jpg

Like this?

http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/uponsun/Douchebagpic.jpg

Like this?

http://img293.imageshack.us/img293/6863/douchebag2dq2.jpg

Or like this?

http://cdn.holytaco.com/www/sites/default/files/alex-trebek_l.jpg

It's a toss up.

752 views in 1.3 days. The popularity of the movement is soaring.

It's a volcano

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

How can I post if I shut the fuck up, you shit-licking assclown?

Man, I preferred DrRay11 as eRay. At least back then he could whip out some graphics shit and impress us.

"Shit by eRay" was the shit.

Now, it's all just plain ol' shit.

Now, it's all just plain ol' shit.

Hmph. I used an apostrophe.

This is some funny shit.

I'm gonna crush that fat bitch.

He's nevah gonna know what hit him.

Only about 25 grand and change to go.

BTW, the humor is completely unintentional.

BTW, the humor is completely unintentional.

Humor???

Humor???

Right. This is a very serious thread. Perhaps, the most serious ever.

Serious internet is underrated.

Serious internet is underrated.

Agreed. Every post I write in this thread, I wear a frown.

Very serious, ind'eed.

You are down another post, Denny

You are down another post, Denny

You are down another post, Denny

You are down another post, Denny

You are down another post, Denny

You are down another post, Denny

You are down up down up down up down another post, Denny

You are down another post, Denny

It's going to be funny when we reset your post count to 1,000.

UR down another post, Denny. LOL. Wanna meet ;).

You are down another post, Denny, but your id does not know that yet. How does that make you feel?

It's going to be funny when we reset your post count to 1,000.


Fuck this place!

http://cache.io9.com/assets/images/io9/2008/09/sigmund_sea.jpg

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It's going to be funny when we reset your post count to 1,000.

Then I'll rename myself D'enny.

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3

4