to

FUCK HIS BRAINS OUT.

"I'm

sorry,"

Langdon

said,

"but I

JUST GOT FUCKED IN THE ASS BY A 500 POUND GORRILLA!"

"Mais,

monsieur,"

the concierge

pressed,

lowering

his voice

to a

whispery gay tone.

"The

guest in your ass

was

an important

dick."

Langdon had little doubt.

His

books

on

religious

penises

and

cum symbology

had made

him a

reluctant

celebrity

in the

ass world.

HE HAD BEEN FUCKED IN THE ASS BY A 500 POUND GORRILLA.

More entertaining than the actual book itself.

What happened to Langdon next?

More entertaining than the actual book itself.

What are you talking about... it IS the actual book.

I saw the movie, but never read the book. Borrowed it from my friend.

Must say, I'm impressed by Dan Brown's style. The film missed the gorrillia sub-plot completely. I suppose they didn't have enough time to work it in.

Part 2 of 350....

TONIGHT!

I'm SO excited! I'm SO excited! I'm so...sc--

http://napavalleywineradio.com/blog/images/sleeping_geoff.jpg

DO MIGHTY MOUSE!!!! MIGHTY MOUSE!!!!

Yeah. I fell asleep, too.

Tonight. I swear.

http://www.fanball.com/images/ecstatic_laptop.jpg

Hurry, Denny! Before I...

http://www.nicknormal.com/normalblog/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/fokish24-asleep-at-the-internet-n.jpg

...and

last year

Langdon's

vaginability

had increased a hundred-fold

after

his involvement

in a wild

pubic incident

at the Vatican.

Since then

the stream

of impotent

historians

and ass butts

arriving at his door

had seemed never-ending.

"If

you

would

be so kind,"

Langdon

said

doing his best

rigid penis,

"could

you take

the man's

name and number

and

tell him

I'LL SUCK HIS COCK BEFORE I LEAVE PARIS ON TUESDAY?

Thank you."

He

hung out his dick

before

the concierge

could protest.

Erect,

Langdon frowned

at his bedside

Guest Relations

Hand-job Book,

whose

cover boasted:

SMOOTH LIKE A BABY IN THE CITY OF LUBE, GET PLOWED AT THE PARIS RITZ.

He turned

and

gazed lovingly

into

the

full-length

mirror

across

the room.

The

penis staring back at him

was a stranger --

twisted and wrinkled.

You

need

a vacation, Robert.

The past year

year

had

taken

a heavy toll on it,

but he

didn't

appreciate

seeing proof

in the mirror.

His

usually

sharp blue penis

looked

hazy and drawn tonight.

A

dark stubble

was

shrouding

HIS GLORIOUS BALL-SACK

and dimpled pelvis.

Around

his

shaft,

the mother of all open sores

was advancing,

making

it's way

deeper

into

his thicket of

coarse black hair.

Although

his female colleagues

insisted

the

SIZE OF HIS ENORMOUS PENIS

only accented

his beefcake appeal,

Langdon

knew better.

If Playgirl magazine

could see me now.

Last month,

much

to Langdon's

excitement,

Playgirl magazine

had

listed

HIS ENORMOUS PENIS

as

one

of the world's top tourist attractions --

a dubious honor

that

made him

the brunt

of

endless monkey sex

by Harvard co-eds.

Tonight,

three-thousand miles

gang bangs since being home,

the

asspounding gorrilla

had

resurfaced

to

hump him

at

the lecture he had given.

"Ladies

and genetalia..."

the hostess

had

announced

to

a full house

at the

American University

of Paris's

Pavilion Dauphine,

"Our

guest

tonight

CAN FUCK YOU RAW.

He

is the

author

of numerous books,

all read,

atop shelves of rich mahogany:

The Symbology of Secret Ball Sacks,

The Art of the Illuminati's Meat Whistle

Teh Lost Language of Butake

and when

I say

he wrote the book

on

Religious Erectionology,

I mean

that

quite literally.

Many

of you

use

his textbooks

during coitus."

The students

in

the crowd

masturbated enthusiastically.

"I

had planned

to

introduce him

tonight

by

sucking

his impressive

cock vitae. However..."

She glanced

playfully

at Langdon's ENORMOUS sausage,

which was lying onstage.

"An

audience

member

has just

handled me

and then

handed me

a far more,

shall we say...

intriguing

introduction."

She

held up

a

copy of Playgirl.

Langdon cringed.

You fucking whore. You had better not, or I'm gonna shove my enourmous cock so far up your ass I'm gonna puncture your lungs with it!!!

The hostess

began