Nsync is Gay(Finally one of them admits it)

[Hank in Chains]

Damn. Lance Bass is gay huh?

I wonder what the rest of Rascal Flatts think about that.

[DennyMcLain]

Lance Bass is GAHAY??? Are you kidding me?

When did this happen?

Boy, it's a good thing he never got a chance to fly in space. Those astronauts are thanking their lucky stars, I'm telling ya. Lance Bass + three astronauts + in orbit with nowhere to run =

[Uncle Mxy]

I'm wondering if Lance's gay astronaut confession opens up this political can of worms:

John Kerry’s campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination struggled to stay on-message today after a gay rights group urged the candidate to recruit homosexual astronauts for America’s space missions.

A little-known group, the Organization of Gay and Self-loving Men in Orbit or ORGASMO, made the demand in a press release faxed to major newspapers and media outlets today.

Claiming to represent millions of homosexual and masturbating Democrats, ORGASMO demanded that Kerry honor the Democratic Party’s commitment to diversity and equal rights by reserving slots for gay astronauts who, they claim, “are clearly best qualified to perform prolonged missions in deep space”.

Experts believe that the ORGASMO manifesto may open the door for public discussion, if not acceptance, of gay space missions.

The unacceptable danger of in-flight pregnancy virtually rules out co-ed missions to Mars, which will take more than one year or more from launch to recovery. But the prospect of serial autoerotic relief — whether furtive and ad hoc or scheduled and supervised — on stag space flights threatens to undermine the morale and image of America’s proudly macho astronaut corps.

Requiring the astronauts to remain celibate, though the obvious political and religious choice, is simply not a medically feasible option, commented Dr. Stanley Krumm, Professor of Astromedicine at Cedars — Sinai.

“Sexual abstinence for such a long period would have deleterious physical as well as psychological effects” he remarked. “They could run the gamut from impaired concentration to serious prostate infections”.

The sexual needs of interplanetary astronauts, Krumm believes, “must be addressed, although a presidential campaign may not be the best time to do it.”

The demand spells trouble for the Kerry camp, which is trying to stake out a nuanced position opposing gay marriage but supporting legal recognition of gay unions.

The GOP was quick to attack.

Ed Gillespie, GOP chairman, appearing before a veteran’s group in Charlotte, North Carolina, angrily condemned the call as “the intersection of the worst kind of quota politics and junk science”. He called on Kerry to repudiate ORGASMO and its message immediately.

Even as Kerry attempts to put the controversy behind him, President Bush has already seized the high ground.

“The men we rocket into God’s heaven will honor His laws and respect our nation’s cherished values”, the President declared in his weekly radio address. “There is no room for sin in our space program.”

Bush also announced an Executive Order establishing “The Presidential Intergalactic Marriage Protection Initiative”. The purpose of the PIMP act is to promote marriage of humanoids “as performed by a competent religio-civil authority” only within species and between genders on all planets that the U.S. space program visits or colonizes.

http://halcyondays.info/satire/110.en.html