*] Talk to your friend who is “kind of a creep” at work. He's just like you.
*] Don’t talk over women. It's ok for us to talk over you.
*] If you are asked to be on a panel/team and see that it’s all men, say something. Maybe even refuse the spot! Be homophobic.
*] When you see another guy talk over a woman, say: “Hey, she was saying something.” because she can't speak for herself.
*] Learn to read a fucking room. Fuck you too.
*] Don’t call women “crazy” in a professional setting. It's ok to call men "crazy", though.
*] Don’t use your “feminism” as a way to get women to expose their vaginas to you.
*] Don’t touch women you don’t know, and honestly, ask yourself why you feel the need to touch women in general. NEVER SHAKE THEIR HANDS!
*] Do you feel that any woman on earth owes you something? She doesn’t. Even if you’re like, “Hm, but what about basic respect?” ask yourself if you’ve shown her the same. Take that, mom!
*] Don’t send pictures of your penis unless she just asked for them, or unless your name is Johnny Wadd.
*] If a woman says no to a date, don’t ask her again. NO MEANS NO 4EVAH!
*] If a woman has not given an enthusiastic “yes” to sex, back the hell off. Don't put baby in a corner when you can put yourself there instead!
*] If a woman is really drunk, she cannot consent to you and she also cannot consent to your buddy who seems to be trying something. Your buddy is your responsibility, so say something and intervene. If you get drunk, it's all your fucking fault.
*] If you do the right thing, don’t expect praise or payment or a pat on the back or even a “thank you from that woman”. Congratulations, you were baseline decent. Be lucky your balls weren't kicked out of spite.
*] Involve women in your creative projects, then let them have equal part in them. Except, when you create a kid, it's all hers, except when she wants money.
*] Don’t make misogynistic jokes. Stick with store-bought misogynistic jokes (e.g. "grab 'em by the pussy").
*] Don’t expect women to be “nice” or “cute” and don’t get upset when they aren’t those things. Don't get mad, get even.
*] Don’t make assumptions about a woman’s intelligence, capabilities or desires based on how she dresses. Learn to unread a fucking room!
*] Pay women as much as you pay men. We'll still make up bullshit metrics about how you don't.
*] If a woman tells you that you fucked up, and you feel like shit, don’t put it on that woman to make you feel better. Apologize without qualification and then go away 4EVER. Women can fuck up all the time. Men, NEVER!!
*] Don’t punish women for witnessing your vulnerability. She'll be too busy laughing and sharing it with her friends for her to care.
*] Don’t get defensive when you get called out. For Christ's sake don't upset the old apple cart.
*] Don’t need to literally witness a man being horrible in order to believe that he’s horrible. Trust and believe women. Proof is for losers.
*] Don’t use your power to get women’s attention/company/sex/etc., especially via talking to other women.
*] Be aware of your inherent power in situations and use it to protect women, especially via talking to other men. Cognitive dissonance is a bitch.
*] Stop thinking that because you’re also marginalized or a survivor that you cannot inflict pain or oppress women. Unlike men, women actually feel pain.
*] If women’s pain makes you feel pain, don’t prize your pain above hers, or make that pain her problem. Women are a pain, just get over it.
*] Don’t read a list like this and think that most of these don’t apply to you. Presumption is the mother of bullshit bullet points.
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