Fucking stupid names thread

[Timone]

Inspired by the Michigan State football thread.

I'll start:

Tim
Plaxico
Yourhighness
Sirdarean(? too lazy to check if that's right)

[Zip Goshboots]

Mister Simpson

"Everybody gonna call my son MISTER!"

[Timone]

^ I think people who name their kids that were stuffed in lockers every day in school.

[Tahoe]

A good friend of mine is named Tim.

[Timone]

bukdow


...win?

[geerussell]

http://www.slate.com/id/2116449/

in 1958, a New York City father named Robert Lane decided to call his baby son Winner. The Lanes, who lived in a housing project in Harlem, already had several children, each with a fairly typical name. But this boy—well, Robert Lane apparently had a special feeling about him. Winner Lane: How could he fail with a name like that?

Three years later, the Lanes had another baby boy, their seventh and last child. For reasons that no one can quite pin down today, Robert decided to name this boy Loser. Robert wasn't unhappy about the new baby; he just seemed to get a kick out of the name's bookend effect. First a Winner, now a Loser. But if Winner Lane could hardly be expected to fail, could Loser Lane possibly succeed?

Loser Lane did in fact succeed. He went to prep school on a scholarship, graduated from Lafayette College in Pennsylvania, and joined the New York Police Department, where he made detective and, eventually, sergeant. Although he never hid his name, many people were uncomfortable using it. To his police colleagues today, he is known as Lou.

And what of his brother? The most noteworthy achievement of Winner Lane, now in his late 40s, is the sheer length of his criminal record: more than 30 arrests for burglary, domestic violence, trespassing, resisting arrest, and other mayhem.

These days, Loser and Winner barely speak. The father who named them is no longer alive.

[Timone]

[MoTown]

Shaquille
Dwyane
Udonis (That's a stupid name for a Mexican)
Pervis
Ed

[Zip Goshboots]

Anyone who names a kid after someone else is giving said kid a STUPID name.

[Big Swami]

Well then my son, Langlois Goshboots Fishbein, apparently does not have your approval.