WTF's Morning Constitutional with Zip Goshboots

[Matt]

Zip's back......i've been backed up......now, i can be regular again.

[The Syndicate]

WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

September 6, 2007

Well, the dust is starting to settle a little bit from the carnage that was left in the Big House on Saturday, and it’s time to analyze this situation for the 47 millionth time.

Boys, life is about choices. You make some good ones, you make some bad ones. Sometimes you even choose not to choose. Doesn’t matter, that’s still a choice. A little over a decade ago, Gary Moeller made a choice to get sloshed and have a fight with the police somewhere in Michigan, and the University of Michigan made a choice to can him over it. Michigan was then faced with a choice of whom to hire to replace Moeller as football coach.

Read this complete Morning Constitutional here.

[The Syndicate]

WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

September 14, 2007

I really am going to kill the next person who says “Let’s do lunch” to me. I don’t mind the “I’ll have your people contact mine” part, because that helps me understand how important I am. But “do lunch” sounds like a soccer Mom trying to be hip, back in 1986…Sure, I’d like to sniff Barry Williams’ armpits…Don’t tell this reporter that things are going well in Iraq: my ratings are down 97% over there…Now, we already thought that Britney Spears was over, but after that MTV deal, she can be placed in the category of “forgotten”. Come on, slut, just enjoy your cash, keep doing the lesbo thing, give us a few beaver shots every now and then, but please, for the love of Mike, give up singing and dancing in public (but keep sending me those videos of you and Brian Urlacher)…I know it was the Chicago Bears offense, but seriously, if San Diego’s defense can remain that good, then that’s my prediction for this season’s Super Bowl champ…I prefer Kraft Macaroni and Cheese over just about any food for a quick hunger fix after sex…

Read this complete Morning Constitutional here.

[Tahoe]

That was ...



And I agree Lunch is a noun, not a verb...damnit!

[The Syndicate]

WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

September 24, 2007

Well, a wild and woolly weekend finds me waking up on some beach nude and spooning Gabe Kaplan. Honestly, faithful readers, Gabe might have been cute back in the day while roaming a make believe classroom with the likes of John Travolta, but how in the world could there possibly have been THAT much liquor?...If I didn’t know better, I’d have swore that at some time in the past, Notre Dame kind of made the college football go ‘round. Now they are reduced to having Regis Philbin give pre-game pep talks. Regis, a proud graduate of that fine institution, is great when he’s swigging coffee with any number of foxy broads on morning brain dead fare (otherwise known as television), but if he is the guy you go to other than to cash a $ 1 million check for knowing that pepper was originally invented by the ancient Sumerians, you may be in need of a complete transfusion and a brain transplant…

Read this complete Morning Constitutional here.

[Glenn]

Zippy's back!

WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

December 20, 2007

I feel the need to step back into the ring this fine holiday season to soothe some of the angst for my fellow Wolverine fans.

Like many of you, I put myself through hell during Michigan’s search for a new head football coach. I read all the blogs, forums, newspaper articles, and listened intently for the next Kirk Herbstreit scoop. I went through a bottle of rum every day, maybe a few drugs, some cheap whores (I think some of them were women. One may have been, well, not quite human. This IS farm country). I posted feverishly all of my ideas to every forum I visited. I may have solved the problem of cold fusion while posting on some “Lifetime Network” forum regarding what to do if your husband has left you to join the Cirque De Soleil. In short, I drove myself batty, along with the legions of Michigan fans who figured that this coaching search would take about as much time as it would for Bill Martin to call up Les Miles and say, “Howdy Les! Lloyd’s office is now yours. His shit’s in boxes down in storage, the place has been fumigated, and we’ll see ya tomorrow!” SCCCCRAAAAEEEEEECCCCH.

Read this complete Morning Constitutional here.

[Big Swami]

That put it all into perspective. Good show sir.

[Glenn]

WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots

December 26, 2007

Now that the dust has settled, and most Michigan fans have been talked off the ledge after an excruciating coaching search, it’s time to analyze the hiring of Rich Rodriguez.

Can you say, “Outstanding”?

This was a huge opening in NCAA football. In fact, there were several huge openings this year. Nebraska, Texas A&M, Arkansas, Mississippi, UCLA, and Michigan, to name a few (at least those that I can remember after yet another night of revelry this holiday season). I can’t remember a year when so many “Big Name” schools were out there trying to poach the ranks of college football for a new warden; then again, this WAS a wacky year of upsets and other shenanigans, so why not cap it off with so many coaches being canned, resigning, or retiring?

Let’s forget about those other schools, though, because Michigan’s search dominated the news for three weeks. And let’s forget about those other schools because, well, who really gives a shit about Arkansas, Mississippi, and Nebraska?

Read this complete Morning Constitutional here.

[Glenn]

^One of, if not the best, Consitutionals that Zip has done here.

[Big Swami]

Indeed, very good.