Close, but it sounds more like cancer of the anus.Originally Posted by Zip Goshboots
Close, but it sounds more like cancer of the anus.Originally Posted by Zip Goshboots
Apologies to Ben Wallace, I ended up in the ER, getting a couple of bags of fluids and an anal probe.
Simultaneous severe cold/food poisoning/hemmorhoid will get you every time.
Never had anal bleeding before, so it was a bit of a shock.
Give me sinusitus any day of the week over this bullshit.
Find a new slant.
Holy shit, Glenn. I just have a cold.
Oh Glenn, you had me after "anal probe"!
Winning breeds confidence. Losing breeds reality.
Yep, being 35 sucks. Hemmorhoids are something that I thought only senior citizens dealt with.
Although the rancid sausage on that bagel sandwich looked tasty at the time.
Find a new slant.
. . . giffman furiously compiles list of witty "rancid sausage and anal probe" jokes . . . . .
Come to find out, it wasn't a hemmorhoid after all, just salmonella poisoning from the aforementioned bagel sandwich.
So here's a belated "Fuck you" to the Bagel Beanery on the corner of Michigan and Fulton in Grand Rapids. You bastards caused me 5+ days of agony, and it's still not over as I still feel like hell due to these severe abdomnenal cramps.
If you boys never get salmonella poisonong, consider yourselves very lucky. It's kind of ironic, because I'm totally paranoid about raw meat in the kitchen, too, always have been.
Last edited by Glenn; 04-09-2007 at 09:52 AM.
Find a new slant.
Those are some nice "anal bleeding" Google ads at the bottom of this page too, lol.
Find a new slant.
I had a run-in (yes, a double entendre) with salmonella once. It wasn't as bad as mono or being hit by a car, but it took me out for three days straight.
shitting blood, or just blood wipes? funny enough, i had a bloody wipe the other day, myself. i get them a couple times a year. i used to assume they were related to my infrequent bowel movems--i used to go about once a week, until i was informed that was really unhealthy--but now i go everyday, and im not dropping foot longers anymore. i honestly dont know what the cause is anymore. perhaps we (i) need a deucing awareness thread? im pretty sure zip is the man for that job.
Bookmarks