The Final Four of Everything

[Zip Goshboots]

http://www.slate.com/id/2161655?GT1=9231
This seems like fun. I know it's reminiscent of the Mt Rushmore thread, which fizzled, but what would be your Final Four in any topic?
What would be your Final Four of TV shows? Of Peanut Butters? Lesbians? Polack jokes?
Let's do this!

[Zip Goshboots]

Here's a start:
The Final Four of the worst thing about sports:
E
S
P
N

[Zip Goshboots]

The Final Four of golfers that I hate:

Sergio Garcia: Has made an entire career out of one shot from behind a tree and dancing like a ferry, and making a "charge" by shooting a 71 on a Sunday than for actually doing something worthwhile.

Tom Watson: Beat out Jack Nicklaus at the '82 U.S.Open with a miraculous shot from the rough, and I have hated him ever since. Nobody does that to Jack and survives my wrath.

Tom Kite: This fuckless fucking fuckhead is the quintessential '80's and early '90's golfer: Getting rich not by actually winning, oh no, but by finishing in eighth place six times a year and occassionally backing into a win when some other golfer choked a tournament away. Epitomizes the term "Country Club Ferry" better than anyone, even the Man Titted Wonder, Phil "D Cup" Mickelson.

Bill Garnett: A guy I golf with here in Omaha. Garnett married a rich woman, so he does nothing but golf, golf, and bang his wife. The worst part is that he drives the ball about 100 yards, but is straight as an arrow. He's murder with his fairway woods, and can putt real well. Seeemingly always putting for par. I hate this fucker, but I love him.
I forgot there's one more reason I hate Garnett: He took one shot at having kids, because he got married when he was about 34. His one shot was that he gave his wife two years to get pregnant, then he was getting a vasectome. So she had twin boys. Fucker.

[Glenn]

Four guys that I'd like to have a beer or eight with:

Tim Russert
Al Franken
Bill Clinton
Jon Barry

[Daviticus 2.39]

The final four of posters I want to punch in the face:
MoTown
Dr. Tre
Denny Mclain
Glenn

[Big Swami]

Final Four of lightbulb jokes:

Q) How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
A) WANNA GO RIDE BIKES????

Q) How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A) If a lightbulb is anything like a filthy sleeping bag, then two.

Q) How many Vietnam veterans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A) YOU DON'T KNOW MAN! YOU WEREN'T THERE!

Q) How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A) Fish.


Final four of Presidents:
Thomas Jefferson
Abraham Lincoln
Teddy Roosevelt
FDR


Final four of chile peppers:
Habanero
Jalapeno
Ancho
Green Finger Chile


Final Four of men whose names are phallic double-entendres
Peter O'Toole
...everyone else forfeited because Peter O'Toole is the most awesome name ever given to a human being.

[Zip Goshboots]

The Final Four of College basketball head coach combovers:

Lou Henson
Jud Heathcote
Denny Crum
Dana Altman (current Creighton coach. In spite of the combover, his wife is pretty hot)

[Zip Goshboots]

This one from the Gloggers of America

[Matt]

Four guys that I'd like to have a beer or eight with:

Tim Russert
Al Franken
Bill Clinton
Jon Barry

wait......you'd pass up a chance to share a beer with the one and only:

[Matt]

Final Four TV shows i could watch forever:

Seinfeld
The Office
Fresh Prince of Bel Air
Growing Pains

on the bubble: Arrested Development (could have made the list, had the show not been prematurely canceled), Three's Company.