The discuss any topic/random thoughts thread

[MoTown]

Unfortunately you have to pretend that you had a hard time with her gone and that you missed her.

[Tahoe]

rt...Am I more tired or more hung over?

[Glenn]

rt...Am I more tired or more hung over?

Thanks for the retweet!



Twitter humor, since that seems to be the theme of the day

[Zip Goshboots]

Wife has been out of town for a week. She's gonna come back and ruin everything, because the truth is I've been great. Me and the dog have become partners in crime. He helps me get exercise, I help him to not do incredibly dumb shit like eat sales inserts that have pictures of pizza on them. Then we both go out to terrorize the squirrels. Dogs > wives.

FIXED

[UxKa]

Wife has been out of town for a week. She's gonna come back and wonder how I've gotten along with her gone, and the truth is I've been great. Me and the dog have become partners in crime. He helps me get exercise, I help him to not do incredibly dumb shit like eat sales inserts that have pictures of pizza on them. Then we both go out to terrorize the squirrels. Dogs > People.

LOL Awesome

[Timone]

I have to be somewhere by 10:30 and I have not been to sleep yet.

[Timone]

You ever notice how EVERY person who goes into what stupid fuck country they came from makes them "stubborn"?

I mean, whenever someone bores the FUCK out of you with their stupid fucking (mostly European) "heritage", they always say something like, "I'm German. And we Germans are stubborn" Or "I'm a stubborn Irishman" Or "My great-great-great grandparents were from Dane. We Danish are stubborn" FUCK YOU. Are people that pathetic that all their ancestors were nothing but stubborn? I believe they are.

And the funny ones still try to hold onto some bullshit past they have to create because their present is nothing short of suicide-inspiring (especially to those they want to bore the fuck out of by relating their family history--or showing pictures of their dopey ass family). I like it when they say, "I'm a full-blooded Czech, y'know" Uh, besides the fact that nobody knows what the fuck a "Czech" is, never has, never will, and never will care, the only "full blod" you are is full-blood full of shit. Of course, nothing beats some pathetci fuck who says "I'm whacko because of the Italian blood in me. It makes me stubborn, and crazy whacko fuck!" "Oh wow! Are you from Italy?" "No, my step-uncle is"

Recently I met a woman who just had to tell the group of us that her family was from Sweden--and the Swedish are KNOWN for being stubborn. And she regaled us with her countrymen's long history of moving from Sweden to Nebraska. I mena, these stupid bleach-white fuckers live in a place that has 12 feet of snow 11 months out of the year, and they move to fucking Nebraska? They aren't stubborn, they're retarded.

We Ukrainians are known for hating that shit.

[Glenn]

Just got an email titled:

Subject: Enter her twat like a bull

[DrRay11]

I am very creeped out by the Bernstein family.

[Tahoe]

meeetoooo...my wife leaves the room when their comersh comes on.