Taymelo for President

[Taymelo]

My Campaign Platform:

Social issues are the least important issues facing our nation, yet are the only issues that get any attention in the typical election campaign.

That changes today, America!

Introducing the Taymelo Campaign Platform:

1. I will not spend a single day of my presidency pushing pro or anti abortion laws.

2. I will not spend a single day of my presidency pushing pro or anti gay marriage laws.

3. I will not spend a single day of my presidency pushing pro or anti gun control laws.

Instead, if you elect Taymelo, you can be assured that I will spend my time tirelessly working on the following issues:

1. The economy.

a. I will reverse the rewards for moving jobs overseas, and instead punish companies that do it, and reward those that keep jobs here.

b. I will place HIGH tarrifs on Chinese and other cheap imports, so that by the time they reach the shelves, they cost more than american products made by american workers earning the minimum wage, and covered with health care.

c. I will figure out a way to collect income taxes from american companies that take their profits directly to the Cayman Islands or elsewhere without paying any taxes on them. They will be easy to spot - they are usually the same companies that ship jobs overseas. This may take some time. Perhaps in my second term (hint, hint).

d. I will increase the size of government, but not in the way GWB does while claiming he is shrinking government. No. I mean I am going to hire able-bodied people on welfare, and make them earn their keep, assisting in furthering one of my other programs - upgrading (and in some instances guarding from terrorists) our country's infrastructure, including roads, bridges, tunnels, electrical grids, damns, ports, storage facilities, etc. The dumb ones can make a few bucks picking up trash. The smart ones can work on real infrastructure.

e. I will reverse the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy.

f. I will reverse the Bush program cuts to welfare, WIC, federal student loans, etc.

2. Infrastructure. See above. There's a reason we had that big blackout. We were already supposed to have upgraded our infrastructure in so many ways, and have failed to do so. This ends today.

3. Energy. I will seek legislation not only imposing windfall taxes on oil companies, but also absolutely requiring the auto industry to lose all dependence on oil by 2012.

4. Foreign Policy

I will immediately declare victory, congratulate our troops on a job well done, and re-depoloy most of our forces out of Iraq. I will keep just a few of them there for one reason and one reason only - not police, not building schools, not as alleged bait to keep "terrorists" (i.e. Iraqis that merely want us to leave their country) from striking on our shores. The only reason we will have any troops there at all is to be our eyes and ears to make sure Iran doesn't take over the government in Iraq.

5. Stem Cell Research - I will provide as much federal funding for stem cell research as is necessary.

I will give a State of the Union address explaining to the country the lies they were told about stem cell research by George W. Bush, and how it really doesn't destroy lives.

I will explain that good jewish christian families trying to do god's will by getting married and having a baby, when they have trouble conceiving, collect a lot of embryos for in vitro fertilization; that only some of the embryos are used; and that the others are thrown in the trash.

I will then ask them if Jesus/God wouldn't rather cure diseases and injuries by testing the stuff being thrown in the trash, or if god's will is just to waste an opportunity to save lives, and throw the crap in the trash without testing it first.

I will convince even the most radical religous people of the truth - that stem cell research is not murder, because it consists of nothing more than testing left over waste before throwing it out.

When my address if over, they will realize that even George W. Bush understands it is merely testing garbage, and lied to them, because he thought they were dumb bible thumpers who were good for a few votes.

More information on my campaign to come.

Vote Taymelo.

[Glenn]

Wow, we were talking "Governor" and he just slips "President" right in there.

That's a man of action, I'm on board.

[DrRay11]

Werd. I'd vote for Taymelo.

Say hello to Taymelo.

yeah lame

[Anthony]

Ummmm I changed my mind. The Arab in me will not permet me to vote for Tay.


andalsoidisagreewithhisliberalviews

[Taymelo]

The Arab in me will not permet me to vote for Tay.

I thought your boyfriend was italian?

[Glenn]

Recap
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1
1
1
-1
net votes: 3

When do the campaign ads start? I hope you have a nice budget.

[Anthony]

The Arab in me will not permet me to vote for Tay.

I thought your boyfriend was italian?

I thought Gutz was lame.
I'd expect more from someone who holds him self in such a high reguard

[Uncle Mxy]

Taymelo, who's your Southern redneck running mate? I'd suggest that dude from "My Name Is Earl". He may be more of a skateboard punk that a real redneck, but I doubt your enlightened base will know the difference.

Do you have a particular type of female intern you prefer (e.g. Clinton's "big hair, big hips" policy)?

[DennyMcLain]

Tay for Preident?.....

I'm moving to Aruba.

[UberAlles]

1. The economy.

a. I will reverse the rewards for moving jobs overseas, and instead punish companies that do it, and reward those that keep jobs here.

b. I will place HIGH tarrifs on Chinese and other cheap imports, so that by the time they reach the shelves, they cost more than american products made by american workers earning the minimum wage, and covered with health care.

Fighting economic progress in developing nations really makes you no better than the current Cowboy, and I would venture to guess he has a much better accent than you do.

Perhaps you should stick to your day job. That part of your platform will be very popular with the people who are xenophobic, but not with the power structure that owns or has massive interests in those companies overseas.

Good luck with funding.