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Thread: Killing time at work

  1. #1

    Killing time at work

    It is a true artform. In the office setting that I work in it can be tough, so you need to be creative. There is the obvious way that I am currently using as I write this, and that would be dickin' around on the internet. But what I'm lookin for is the more creative way to murder 10 to 20 minutes. I'll give examples of some of my favorites;

    walking to the breakroom and walking back for no apparent reason

    trying to name all 50 states (pen and paper required)

    figuring out what winning percentage the Tigers need from here out on to make the playoffs

    pinch a loaf

    trying to name every major sport team (pen and paper required)

    shredding random documents

    walking from one end of the office to the other just to see if anyone will notice

    There are a few others, but I was just curious what other people did to make the day go by.

  2. #2
    Glenn's Avatar
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    Sometimes in the car I will think of a number and try and think up as many guys who wore that number as I can.

    #6
    Steve Garvey
    Al Kaline
    Dr. J
    Terry Mills

    You get the idea.
    Find a new slant.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Wizzle
    It is a true artform. In the office setting that I work in it can be tough, so you need to be creative. There is the obvious way that I am currently using as I write this, and that would be dickin' around on the internet. But what I'm lookin for is the more creative way to murder 10 to 20 minutes. I'll give examples of some of my favorites;

    walking to the breakroom and walking back for no apparent reason

    trying to name all 50 states (pen and paper required)

    figuring out what winning percentage the Tigers need from here out on to make the playoffs

    pinch a loaf

    trying to name every major sport team (pen and paper required)

    shredding random documents

    walking from one end of the office to the other just to see if anyone will notice

    There are a few others, but I was just curious what other people did to make the day go by.
    I have done that many a time. Let me tell you, it's definitely not an easy thing. You have to remember just how many teams there are in each league, and then there will always be one or two that you can't remember... but once you figure them out you're furious you could forget that one.

    Quote Originally Posted by WTFchris
    MoTown is right.

  4. #4
    You know what's a good time waster - pooping.

    Make sure you have nice enough facilities for this act of procrastination.

    Quote Originally Posted by WTFchris
    MoTown is right.

  5. #5

  6. #6
    Langlois Insider Vinny's Avatar
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    (The following strategies are excerpted with permission from the upcoming "How To Work Less and Drink More: Surviving In the Modern Office Culture" by Vinny Marley. Mr. Marley culled this material from nearly three full years spent working in an office before he finally couldn't take it anymore and got a job in a bar. All rights remain reserved.)

    The key to wasting office time is getting your ass out of the office -- that way you can do whatever the heck you want.

    The easiest way is to take up smoking. Most offices, you can get away with up to 5 smoke breaks a day without anyone getting too upset about it -- maybe more, if your boss/supervisor smokes. If you're not prepared to take on some of the health risks (supposedly) associated with smoking, you can still take advantage. Just make friends with a couple of people who smoke, and head out with them every time they break. You can shoot the shit, look at the ladies, even just stare at the clouds -- it beats sitting at your desk, right?

    Depending on what floor your office is on, an average smoke break takes about 15 minutes between elevator rides, waiting for stragglers, actual smoking, etc.. If you do 5 a day, that's 75 minutes a day, over 6 hours a week, and over 325 hours a year. You only get 2 weeks vacation you say? Take up smoking, you'll add over 8 40 hour weeks worth of time off to the tally.



    Another convenient strategy is the good old-fashioned double lunch. Brilliant in it's simplicity, the double lunch can gain you up to an hour a day to do as you will with. The key is, you need a supervisor who goes out to lunch most every day. How does it work? Let's say your boss is going to lunch at high noon. You let it be known that you have some important stuff to finish, and you're not really sure when you'll be able to make it out. Then, you wait precisely 4 minutes (no less, and I can't emphasize this enough. You don't want to end up in the same elevator.) and head off to lunch yourself. When your supervisor comes back an hour later, they just assume you must have just left (you had that important work to finish, remember? For a nice touch, take some random work you may have done recently and leave it on their desk on you're way out. This will eliminate any suspicion altogether). When you come back an hour and 56 minutes later, you'll be refreshed and recharged, more than prepared to handle the 63 minutes until your next smoke break.



    A third strategy is much more complicated to pull off, but can be essential to those younger folks who like to go out nights during the week. It takes careful planning, strict attention to detail and, most importantly, a partner you can trust. Many people shy away as soon as they hear the word "partner" but trust me, if you can pull it off, it's worth it.

    You and your partner set up a schedule and take turns about twice a week: One of you comes in 15 minutes early. Wait a minute, you say, how is this helping me kill time? Well, the payoff is that in exchange for that 15 minutes, you get 1, 2, even 3 hours when it's your partner's turn later in the week.

    Let's say it's Thursday morning and it's your partner "Bob's" turn to come in early. Bob gets there 15 minutes early, before there are too many people around and proceeds directly to your desk. He opens a few important looking files, spreads a few papers around and sends out a few e-mails. If it's the winter months, he grabs an extra jacket that you guys leave there and throws it on the back of your chair and then goes and grabs a half a cup of coffee and leaves it on your desk to complete the illusion. Then, within reason, you can come in pretty much whenever you want -- perfect for sleeping off that nasty hangover.

    You should start out slow until the kinks are all worked out, say no more than an hour for the first month, but once you get going, you'll be coming in at 1:00 before you know it. Hell, if you're creative enough, you can even go after my own personal record: When I had a real good partner pack in '99, I missed three consecutive entire Friday's without anyone being the wiser.

    I'm reppin' Jesus Christ and Conservative views....



    Quick piece by VINNY which was a logo style of his. VINNY also did two letter throw up's by the name of FI 2.



    GO WHITE!

  7. #7
    Glenn's Avatar
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    Wow, that would have made a great WTF Front Page article, lol.
    Find a new slant.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Vinny
    (The following strategies are excerpted with permission from the upcoming "How To Work Less and Drink More: Surviving In the Modern Office Culture" by Vinny Marley. Mr. Marley culled this material from nearly three full years spent working in an office before he finally couldn't take it anymore and got a job in a bar. All rights remain reserved.)

    The key to wasting office time is getting your ass out of the office -- that way you can do whatever the heck you want.

    The easiest way is to take up smoking. Most offices, you can get away with up to 5 smoke breaks a day without anyone getting too upset about it -- maybe more, if your boss/supervisor smokes. If you're not prepared to take on some of the health risks (supposedly) associated with smoking, you can still take advantage. Just make friends with a couple of people who smoke, and head out with them every time they break. You can shoot the shit, look at the ladies, even just stare at the clouds -- it beats sitting at your desk, right?

    Depending on what floor your office is on, an average smoke break takes about 15 minutes between elevator rides, waiting for stragglers, actual smoking, etc.. If you do 5 a day, that's 75 minutes a day, over 6 hours a week, and over 325 hours a year. You only get 2 weeks vacation you say? Take up smoking, you'll add over 8 40 hour weeks worth of time off to the tally.



    Another convenient strategy is the good old-fashioned double lunch. Brilliant in it's simplicity, the double lunch can gain you up to an hour a day to do as you will with. The key is, you need a supervisor who goes out to lunch most every day. How does it work? Let's say your boss is going to lunch at high noon. You let it be known that you have some important stuff to finish, and you're not really sure when you'll be able to make it out. Then, you wait precisely 4 minutes (no less, and I can't emphasize this enough. You don't want to end up in the same elevator.) and head off to lunch yourself. When your supervisor comes back an hour later, they just assume you must have just left (you had that important work to finish, remember? For a nice touch, take some random work you may have done recently and leave it on their desk on you're way out. This will eliminate any suspicion altogether). When you come back an hour and 56 minutes later, you'll be refreshed and recharged, more than prepared to handle the 63 minutes until your next smoke break.



    A third strategy is much more complicated to pull off, but can be essential to those younger folks who like to go out nights during the week. It takes careful planning, strict attention to detail and, most importantly, a partner you can trust. Many people shy away as soon as they hear the word "partner" but trust me, if you can pull it off, it's worth it.

    You and your partner set up a schedule and take turns about twice a week: One of you comes in 15 minutes early. Wait a minute, you say, how is this helping me kill time? Well, the payoff is that in exchange for that 15 minutes, you get 1, 2, even 3 hours when it's your partner's turn later in the week.

    Let's say it's Thursday morning and it's your partner "Bob's" turn to come in early. Bob gets there 15 minutes early, before there are too many people around and proceeds directly to your desk. He opens a few important looking files, spreads a few papers around and sends out a few e-mails. If it's the winter months, he grabs an extra jacket that you guys leave there and throws it on the back of your chair and then goes and grabs a half a cup of coffee and leaves it on your desk to complete the illusion. Then, within reason, you can come in pretty much whenever you want -- perfect for sleeping off that nasty hangover.

    You should start out slow until the kinks are all worked out, say no more than an hour for the first month, but once you get going, you'll be coming in at 1:00 before you know it. Hell, if you're creative enough, you can even go after my own personal record: When I had a real good partner pack in '99, I missed three consecutive entire Friday's without anyone being the wiser.
    WOW.

    I can't wait to read the rest of the book. (Meaning post some more!)

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Wizzle

    pinch a loaf
    This made me laugh my ass off for some reason

    trying to name every major sport team (pen and paper required)
    I would do this in my 4th hour class during senior year of high school.

    I got the NBA & NFL and then some MLB and NHL. When you got a jackass talking to ya for an hour it's hard to think.

  10. #10
    Me and a buddy used to pick a topic, Heisman winners, #1 overall draft picks, WS winners, for the day, and go back as far as we could...That killed time.

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