Professional Wrestling

[Pharaoh]

Haven't updated this in a while because the business is shite...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monomyth

BOOM!

Take a young wrestler with all the potential in the world.... follow the pattern = epic career

[Timone]

Been watching TNA lately. Lame, but actually more entertaining than the garbage the WWE is putting out lately.

[Timone]

[Pharaoh]

I'm sure I've posted this link before... but it is by far the best "Be The Booker" I have ever read (part of)

http://www.wrestlingforum.com/booker...ownership.html

I really wish someone would write a Be the Booker with my cast of wrestlers... but I've never found one!

It would basically be a Ring of Honor type promotion, with the best "technical" wrestlers (Angle, Punk, Danielson, Jericho, McGuiness, Aries, Styles, Samoa Joe etc) with Brock Lesnar as the big bad motherfucker.

Had the idea for years since Lesnar got pushed to the moon in WWE the first time... the roster included Shawn Michaels, Angle, Benoit, Eddie Guerrero etc

The booking is obvious - you have all these awesome technical guys having matches against each other - it's old school NWA booking... then Lesnar comes along and just fucking wrecks shoip, destorys all in his path and becomes the Champion.... and he then has awesome matches/battles with these great technical wrestlers....

The plan was to put Chris Benoit on a collison course with Lesnar... have Benoit and Eddie talk about never winning the world title... have Eddie turn heel (he can talk the crowd into hating him) in his quest to climb the ladder.... but instead of Eddie rising Benoit beats him and starts to roll over the technical heels, gets on a winning streak and it obviously comes to a head when he battles Lesnar on the big PPV.

After having Lesnar dominate for 12 months, beating some awesome dudes whomever beat him would go over huge! I'd scripted Lesnar to have 6 months off... you can't have him dominate for 12 months and then challenge for 3 months and lose. That kills his monster gimmick. So after his lose he'd have to sit out for a while... it's just logical

And Benoit was my guy. He was all business in the ring and could make anyone look good. Even though he was a little small I was happy as when Vince put the belt on him!

Anyway, Benoit then becomes the hunted... and he survives as Champion for a while... but eventually he'll do anything to keep the title.... he's worked his entire life for it.... and he slowly starts to show (more obvious) heel tendencies... and you turn Benoit heel while he's Champion - using the "obsessed with the title" story.... where he'll sell his own mother to keep his belt!

This is when a former partner or friend comes back into play... Eddie would claim the title changed them both... but that Eddie has seen the error of his ways (turns face) while Benoit has descended into darkness (lol) Then you have a classic best of 7 series(Magnum TA and Nikita Koloff had a best of 7 for the US title in the 80's, Benoit had a best of 7 v Booker T for the TV title in the 90's) between Eddie and Benoit where Eddie isn't so much trying to take the title... he's trying to "reach" Benoit, to wake him up... to show him the title isn't all that matters... family and friends matter too lol

and while Eddie and Benoit are going at it for the title a young brute arrives on the scene... Samoa Joe. He's smashing anyone and everything in his way.... he builds an impressive resume beating up the mid carders... he's looking to get his shot at Benoit or Eddie later in the year... and then Brock Lesnar returns to confront Joe!

Who is the biggest baddest fucker on Earth? Lesnar vs Joe to decide the #1 contender... Eddie v Benoit in the final of the best of 7 series for the title!

BOOM! Sweet as bro (New Zealand accent)

Joe beats Brock clean, cementing Joe as a monster heel... Eddie wins the title... now I have 4 legit main event players to move around. Benoit would be used to put over another young guy coming through while Joe beats Eddie... then Eddie and Benoit would re-unite on TV and form a tag team... to put over my tag teams.... Lesnar vs Brock II would be the big match of the year...

it's so fucking easy I can outline 2 main event fueds for 2 years or more.

Someone email my shit to Vince or Dixie Carter... the business needs a fucking time machine! Go back to what worked in the past - BEFORE 1996!

[Pharaoh]

You all knew it was coming... after this many years of me typing out storylines in a split second that crap all over the current WWE/TNA product you all knew this was gonna happen

I'm gonna do my own Be The Booker... and do it in this thread for all those that don't want to read the fucking thing. There will be no pretty pictures though - I don't do details

The idea behind a Be The Booker is that you (me) as the writer pick a particular point in REAL time... WrestleMania X if you wish... and then you jump in and book the company after that point. This way anyone reading it or following it can go back and see what the company was doing before you took over... and then continue onwards as the Be The Booker takes shape.

Ideally someone writing a Be The Booker would map out a year or so of storylines, get a talent roster sorted, get the PPVs sorted and work towards each using the Tv shows each and every week...

all that is far too much work for someone as lazy as me

But I'm gonna take a stab at it because it's almost the NBA off-season, my NRL Fantasy team is set for 4 weeks and I can't make big changes to it and... no one cares about the NBA Draft...

Obviously I'll use TNA... I've bashed the fuckers for years so it's time to put up or shut up. Although to give myself a way out I'll use Paul Heyman as the guy taking over.

It was actually possible back at the end of 2009... when Hogan and Bischoff came in... can't believe those 2 fuckers have been there this long... and it's only the last 6-12 months that the company has got on the right track...

Heyman would have got them on the right track straight away...

for those that care:

http://www.onlineworldofwrestling.co...lts/tna/_2009/

The year that was in TNA... and I'll be taking over after this show:

The October PPV = http://www.onlineworldofwrestling.co...undforglory09/

The next episode of Impact: http://www.onlineworldofwrestling.co...mpact/_091022/

So basically Heyman is taking over TNA instead of Hogan and Bischoff...

Time to fix this fucking company and do it with ease starting... some other time lol

[Pharaoh]

Ok... so I'll try to do this "properly" but I'm prone to dis-interest and am likely to go off on a lot of tangents because stories should have arcs and while the internet smarks are quite to bash a story as soon as it starts they have no idea where it's going... which is why I usually just outline the story I would book and never include little details of how they would write it each week because the little details week to week are just to fill in time until we get to the payoff... the PPV match

Simple example of a build to a PPV match =

Episode 1: Bad guy challenges good guy... good guy accepts! Bad guy then attacks good guy and leaves him laying
Episode 2: Bad guy cuts a promo gloating about laying out the good guy. Good guy shows up to say (basically) "Was that your best shot?"
Episode 3: Bad guy attacks good guy again and it's more brutal. Good guy is left laying once again
Episode 4: Bad guy gloats, replays the attack from last week, gloats some more. Calls out the good guy... who doesn't show
Episode 5: Bad guy gloats some more. Again calls out the good guy... doesn't show up
Episode 6: Bad guy gloats again. Calls out the good guy... who runs through the crowd and it's on like Donkey Kong... wild brawl
Episode 7: GM/Authority figure makes the match for the next PPV... the 2 cut promos against each other

Episode 8: This is the pivot point... if the good guy is going to win (and the good guy should) then you have the bad guy once again get the upper hand on TV so he goes into the PPV as strong as possible. IF the bag guy is going to win at the PPV then you have to give the good guy the "rub" here... so when the brawl happens on TV the good guy stands tall, closes the show with his hand held high

The PPV: Depends on what happened in Episode 8: If the bad guy beat the good guy down and left him laying once again you MUST have the good guy win here. The good guy has had his head handed to him the whole way through so if he loses here he looks like a chump. That's fine if you want to build a monster heel for a long run at the top... not good if you want the crowd to love your good guy. IF the good guy won the day in Episode 8 then the bad guy kicks the living shit out of the good guy here.. the good guy won't lay down... he keeps on fighting... but in the end the bad guy uses some object (chair, chain, brass, knuckles) and knocks the good guy out.

Having the bad guy win that way is GOLD! It makes the bad guy appear to be one bad mother fucker... he kicked arse! But it also gives your good guy "the rub"... makes him appear courageous, makes the good guy seem like the kind of guy who "will not quit", who will fight against all the odds

This shit is easy... so if I get motivated (I lost my motivation again lol) I'll do the be the booker thing I mentioned in the post above.

Right now I couldn't care less about pro wrestling... lazy ass writers, nothing big happening... although I must say TNA is doing some good stuff right now from all reports

[Timone]

I DON'T HAVE AN AMAZON WISHLIST

[Timone]

http://deadspin.com/wrestler-run_ins/

[Timone]

Incredible. Worth reading:

I spent December of 1999 working several jobs in Gainesville. One of those jobs was on the loading dock at Toys ‘R Us. For an extra fee, customers could pay to have bikes, etc. built by employees instead of doing it themselves at home. An additional benefit was that big items, that were hard to hide, could be kept at the store until near Christmas.

On the night of December 23, I was at the back of the store and a series of customers came by with receipts to pick up their crap. I finally get to this giant dude who is posturing like a roided-up douche. I ask him for a receipt and he takes umbrage to store protocol. He drops a couple of f-bombs and makes a scene. The manager peeks out to assess the situation but he takes one look at the customer and literally runs back to his office.

Because I felt sorry for this piece of shit's kids, being so close to Christmas, I ask his last name to see if there is an invoice that matches the motorized car he claims to have purchased. He tells me his last name is Rhodes. After checking 50+ stored toys, I tell him there is no invoice with this name. He goes completely bananas. He begins by breathing through his nose like a horse and starts pressing up to me with his chest.

I calmly asked if beating-up a Toys ‘R Us worker was the best way to handle this situation - I was way past giving a fuck with this temp job. That did not go over well. At this point a wife/girlfriend stepped out of the car to intervene. No surprise she looked like someone who would bang a roided-up douche and someone who has: 1) caused lots of fights due to her choice of revealing attire; 2) had to cool-off this guy for flying off the handle on numerous occasions. I told them that I really wanted to help and asked if there was another name the invoice might have on it. Then the girlfriend gives me a different last name, Runnels, and, of course, there is the car right where it should be.

In the time it took for this to go down, there were a bunch of employees who had moved to the back to witness what was going on. After this dumbass left, one of my co-workers says, "I sold that car to him. That dude is a pro wrestler." He then explained that his name was "Goldust" but that he was also "Dusty Rhodes, Jr." or some shit like that. The whole story thing made very little sense to me. But I realized that I almost got the shit kicked out of me because some asshole was shopping under his fake wrestling name instead of the name that WAS ON HIS CREDIT CARD.

[Pharaoh]

It's a pity Shane McMahon has nothing to do with the WWE anymore:

"WWE Global Domination", which I know I've mentioned several times. But I should probably explain it. WWE Global Domination was the last big idea Shane McMahon had before he left the company, or at least the last big idea he is rumoured to have had before he left.

The basic gist was that the WWE would set up a small, offically branded company in each major market. You'd have a WWE Europe, a WWE Asia, a WWE Mexico/South America, maybe a WWE Canada, as well as WWE America (FCW) and so on. They wouldn't be called that, but the basic idea would be that these companies would train and look for talent from their region, run shows, and also give WWE places to send people to season, to move them about so that guys and girls got to work in front of different crowds, in different styles, and learn how to work effectively anywhere. WWE would be able to find talent all over the place, be able to send talent it wasn't using to places they could (got nothing for Zack Ryder to do right now? Send him to WWE Australia for a couple months!) and recreate the territorial system with them at the helm of it.

Would it work on just a US scale? I mean, control with the feeder system is actually not that hard a sell, WWE tends to be somewhat hands off, relatively. Yes, Cornette complained, but Jimmy always complains, that's why we love him. But I'm not sure it would work just on the Continental US of A, in that USA already has a lot of indy companies, and too much competition is bad."

Shane McMahon is also the reason Floyd Mayweather "competed" at WrestleMania... Shane McMahon is a smart dude