Professional Wrestling

[Pharaoh]

I'll break down the show tomorrow but right now:

I think TNA over-did it with the old stars and veterans.

Did we really need Val Venis (aka Sean Morley) there to play poker with the chicks?

Did we really need Orlando Jordan there to interact with D'Angelo Dinero (Elijah Burke)?

Did we need the Nasty Boys on the show at all?

The Hall, Waltman, Nash, Hogan, Bischoff thing is just awesome. A lot of history there. That was needed.

Flair on the show? Not needed but awesome. I wish he had some interaction with Sting, whose appearance in the rafters is so 1997. (Much like Hart v HBK lol). But Flair on the show anywhere is good.

Hardy arriving is kind of like Lex Luger's arrival on Nitro's first episode - in all honesty there isn't a "bigger" star than Hardy to bring in to wrestle regularly (provided he gets off the drug charges.

TNA fired a lot of shots and made some noise. Good for them.

Not happy Desmond Wolf got beaten... kinda weird.

On the WWE side Hart and Shawn Michaels actually hugged! Never thought I'd see that. And Vince McMahon "turned heel" on Hart by kicking him in the nuts to close the show.

The rest of RAW was just the usual shit except a segment with Hart and Jericho. Jericho is fucking money and has been for the past 12 months+. And during that time he's had ZERO World Title wins. Vince McMahon is a fucking idiot and needs to wake up.

Maybe TNA wakes Vince up a bit and WWE starts to book their shows better. They have the talent. Creative just needs to be creative lol

BTW, Bryan Danielson wrestled in the "dark" match on Raw v Chavo and won. This may or may not mean he's getting a TV debut soon. If they want a guy that can actually wrestle than Danielson is the man. They have a lot of options with him depending on what they wanna do.

The teacher vs student thing is easy (he was trained at Shawn Michaels' school) and would result in awesome matches plus would elevate Danielson straight away. But fuck RAW.

I think TNA won the first round - even if ratings won't reflect it

[Darth Thanatos]

I think they should put him on Smackdown and have him feud with either CM Punk or the now exclusive Chris Jericho.

[Fool]

P has completely won me over with these write-ups.

I've never watched rasslin' (except for the Hogan cartoon in the 80's). I will never watch rasslin'. But I like reading P's breakdowns of the politics of it all.

[Glenn]

Does anyone actually buy that TNA actually stands for "Total Nonstop Action"?

Sincerely,

We The Fans of Detroit

[Fool]

Does anyone actually buy that TNA actually stands for "Total Nonstop Action"?

Sincerely,

Wayman Tisdale Fans of Detroit

Fixed.

[Pharaoh]

Isn't it What The Fuck, Detroit?

As for the politics, think about it like this: Internet fans, the real hardcore die hard critical motherfuckers (smarks lol) search everywhere for every little piece of backstage gossip they can find and there are newsletters full of 2nd, 3rd or 4th hand "information" on backstage politics, future angles or real life shit that someone could read if they wanted to. And naturally over time a lot of shit leaks out or is brought up in interviews long after the fact.

Now think about this: I only know what I know through dumb luck. I don't and have never subscribed to any newsletter and have never actually belonged to a wrestling fan forum. I have read a few different ones at different stages but I never frequented them like I do here.

The sheer amount of politics in wrestling is fucking crazy, though it's a product of the business. Your opponent holds your future in his hands each and every night - not just through looking after your body and not injuring you but in how his promo treats you, how he bumps for you and how he responds to your big moves.

The booker/creative team has a major say in that, but so does the road agent/producer (who is an extension of the creative team/booker) that handles your match.

In the end though the match is where it counts. And your opponent could be booked to beat you in 3 minutes but he can still make you look good during that time frame.

Anyway,

HHH is known for basically shitting on his opponents in his promo - which is rather odd. IF you are about to square off with a dude why downplay his ability to beat you? If you win (and HHH always does) then good for you, dickhead - you beat a bum. But if you portray your opponent as someone good, someone skilled and someone capable of beating you then when you DO win it makes your victory seem so much bigger/better...

Am I right?

Of course I'm fucking right.

[Pharaoh]

And Darth - Danielson v Punk or Jericho would be sick. Danielson v Morrison or Rey Mysterio would be sick...

IF WWE gave them 20 mins on PPV and didn't punish them for stealing the show....

Did you guys know that does actually happen? God (or HHH) forbid you get too over. If you do not bow down to HHH, HBK and certain players backstage you will be dealt with.

At least Taker is willing to wrestle the younger dudes and sell for them. HHH wants to crush everyone that is not part of his circle (jerk)

[Timone]

P has completely won me over with these write-ups.

I've never watched rasslin' (except for the Hogan cartoon in the 80's). I will never watch rasslin'. But I like reading P's breakdowns of the politics of it all.

Agreed. I haven't given a shit about wrestling since like 03, but I can't help but view this thread and see what Pharoah has to say.

[Pharaoh]

Well, thanks guys and to keep it rolling:

Here is my "gimmick/character" for Danielson... he's a wrestler.

That's it! Amazing, right? Completely creative!

He simply walks to the ring with ZERO music (at least in the beginning), picks apart his opponent limb by limb and then scores the pin. He then gets up, wipes himself with a little towel and walks to the dressing room.

They can have backstage segments with him where they ask what his goals are, what his plans are etc and he just says "I'm here to win matches and win titles - I don't care who I have to beat - I will. I am the best wrestler in the World". That kinda shit

The towel thing is "cool" if he's a heel cause it could be his big fuck you to the crowd - "here take my sweaty towel, you fucks".

If they wanna use him as a "face/hero" then he could wipe the sweat off him and give it to chicks in the crowd (planted at ringside) who would act like he just licked thier clit.

Obviously there is a reason I'm not a fucking booker but I think there are enough "nuggets of gold" in that idea for someone to actual use that idea for a gimmick.

TNA or WWE should hire dudes to search internet forums for ideas - I once spent a week or 2 reading a "Be the Booker" thing where a guy booked WCW (WCWTrio Ownership) for 2 or 3 years and it was awesome to read how the story unfolded.

Hire that guy to write shit - he couldn't possibly do worse than what we get now

[Pharaoh]

I was gonna review the 3 hour Impact but right now I'm too tired to do it so here is the first hour snips from 411's review and then my take on it:

X-Division Steel Asylum Match

Featured Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley), Homicide, Kiyoshi, Consequences Creed, Jay Lethal, Amazing Red and Suicide.

Brooke Hogan is front row ringside.

Rating: ** The ending was bullshit, Homicide was embarrassing, but the action before that was good and Hardy was the biggest shot fired so far.

Hardy climbs the Asylum and and poses, Ravenesque, on top of the cage. And yes, Orlando was singing along with that crap song. That had to be an audible once they talked Hardy into signing, no way was that the planned finish all along. Right?

Jeff is shown backstage with Shannon Moore. We now get clips of a motorcade with Hogan's limo. Yeah I'm sure Hogan gets police escort.

Christy is with Nash. Talks about money and Hogan and putting the band back together.

Knockouts Title Match: Tara © vs. ODB

Winner, and NEW Knockouts champion: ODB via pinfall (schoolgirl with tights...and crack)
Rating: * No No No TNA. This is not how you start the biggest show in your history, unless you're TRYING to look bad before Hogan comes out and saves the show.

Tara hits the Widow's Peak post-match and then puts the spider on ODB!

FLAIR! FLAIR IS HERE! He goes into AJ's locker room.

Christy is interviewing fans. Foley shows up and although he has been barred he's still going to try and get in. He fully understands why they don't want him on the show, but he understands the significance of Hogan coming to Impact, and he promises to be on his best behaviour. Security won't let him in and he doesn't kill them? OK...

Bobby Lashley is out with Kristal or however she's spelling it this month. Please God don't give him a live mic. The crowd goes mild. Well, Kristal has the mic. Tonight is the biggest night in TNA history. Bobby wanted to come out and send a personal message to Hogan. She says Bobby is a star in MMA and wrestling, and nobody can match him. She then calls wreslting fans inbred toothless degenerates and animals who get what they want while men like Bobby have to make their way. Wow, effective heel turn. She says Lashley is asking for his immediate release from his TNA contract, because they have better things to do.

Velvet Sky tells the camerman to follow her, and what he sees might melt the camera. I love you camerman. She says the show is all about the ratings, and people want to see...poker shows, according to Lacey. Velvet takes 2 cards and Lacey wants 5. Yeah anyway, the upshot is that they're playing strip poker. Fuck the rest of the show, STAY HERE. DAT AZZ...CUBED!

Back from commercial and we have more shots of the motorcade.

Scott Hall and Waltman are background discussing everyone who's coming in. But wait! They can't come in! Security says they're not on the list! Hall chokes out a bitch but the other security goons break it up. If they brought those guys in just to show that they wouldn't be signed, it's a great move.

A second limo pulls up next to Hogan's and someone gets out of it and into Hogan's.

Hall and Waltman are in the Impact Zone. ANOTHER commercial. They MUST be bringing Hogan out at 8:58pm. Apparently TNA is the #1 trending topic on Twitter right now.

So, 2 matches and both were shit and a lot of stuff crammed into that hour when RAW wasn't even on the air. I'm guessing they did it to "catch" RAW viewers and keep them.

ODB beating Tara for the Women's title is stupid, considering she's a southern trailer park sterotype and TNA should be moving away from a regional feel.

The arrivals of Hardy and Flair in the first hour are fucking massive and should have grabbed everyone by the balls. Hall and Waltman at that point are just added extras, cause after seeing Flair and Hardy they should have hooked viewers before RAW even started.

So IMO at that point there was no need to show Hall and Waltman. Should have saved them for a bit later.

Lashley's heel turn is blah/blah for me cause the guy has no fucking personality and is just a big dude. Probably gonna lose the wife eventually, as all real life marriages end cause of wrestling lol He needs to act like a cunt as a heel and he'll get over. Plus if he smashes some dudes in rapid fire style like Goldberg used to do it would help.

Good idea bringing out Hogan before the top of the hour - they got him out there before RAW started with Bret Hart.

It looks like a great hour for TNA. Big surprise guests, an important title change, Lashley turning heel, Foley unable to enter the building, Chicks playing strip poker, the Steel Asylum (while crap is different to anything WWE has) but FUCK!

You had approx 45 mins to show WWE fans you don't present the same weak shit they do and that's what you give 'em? 2 matches that were just shit, short clusterfucks and a bunch of stuff flying at them thick and fast and you don't have time, as a viewer, to digest anything at all.

It's one giant segment orgy going on.

Is any of it good? Yeah - most of it. The arrival of those big stars is a massive key to the battle for TNA as they'll draw viewers (short term). The Lashley heel turn could be huge if done well. The Foley and Nash bits could result in some long-term storylines that should be interesting. And Flair might end up being AJ Styles mentor or some shit (which wouldn't make sense but would certainly help AJ go Global)

But Russo and whoever else wrote this shit has a serious pacing problem. As the writer you need to give the audience time to think about what just went down, what it means to that character and where it could lead.

What are the consequences of what just happened? TNA's answer? Who cares - we got more important stuff to show you.

Switching to some other massive angle/segment just makes the viewer forget what just happened and focus on this newer, important segment. Shit gets lost in the shuffle.

Fuckers need to lay off the speed and slow the fuck down. Of course I've been hoping for that for a while now and TNA hasn't delievered yet - why would Hogan, Bischoff, Russo, Nash etc be any different?