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Thread: The "other" Donald Trump thread

  1. #261
    NOT TO BE FUCKED WITH Uncle Mxy's Avatar
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  2. #262
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    That guy’s great
    Find a new slant.

  3. #263
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    Quote Originally Posted by bukdow
    The furor over terrorism has been an acutely frustrating cultural phenomenon: pregnant with great possibility, touching on vital and fascinating issues, yet initially formulated in a one-sided and sententious manner that will lay down diktats that force me to cry in a lustrum or two. What's important to note, however, is that Pres. Donald J. Trump's pleas share many of the same characteristics. Let's get down to business: Pres. Trump's perversions are a farraginous amalgam of parasitism and anti-intellectualism. I respectfully refrain from further comment on that topic as doing so could be misinterpreted as asserting that he's inflexibly honest, thoroughly patriotic, and eminently solicitous to promote, in all proper ways, the public good. Instead, I'll simply remark that Pres. Trump says that 75 million years ago, a galactic tyrant named Xenu solved the overpopulation problem of his 76-planet federation by transporting the excess people to Earth, chaining them to volcanoes, and dropping H-bombs on them. It's not clear how that possibly can be the case, but why let facts stand in the way of a good story? After all, Pres. Trump has never concerned himself with the fact that there is a format he should follow for his next literary endeavor. It involves a topic sentence and supporting facts.

    This may sound like caricature, but I am making an appeal to the intelligence of the reader not to be fooled by Pres. Trump's demagoguery. For the benefit of any doubting Thomases I will prove that point via an explanation of how Pres. Trump is good at one thing, and that's keeping his ulterior motives secret. Only a few initiates in the inner sanctum of his claque know that Pres. Trump is planning to peddle fake fears to the public. Even fewer of these initiates know that Pres. Trump is off his kadoova if he thinks that a book of his writings would be a good addition to the Bible. Pres. Trump wants to foster suspicion—if not hatred—of “outsiders”. But what if the tables were turned? How would Pres. Trump like that?

    Pres. Trump is a huge proponent of barbarism. This is not barbarism as we have known it. Rather, it is a particularly vainglorious form of barbarism whose sole purpose is to destroy the diversity that is so important to our country's slowly-growing awareness of pluralism and tolerance. It's irrelevant that my allegations are 100% true. Pres. Trump distrusts my information and arguments and will forever maintain his current opinions.

    Pres. Trump avows that his philippics will universally benefit all mankind. In reality, his philippics will benefit only those foul-mouthed pillocks who shank the working class in the back to keep the cash spigots flowing. As I like to say, you cannot link arms under a universalist banner when you can't find your own name on it. By that I mean that Pres. Trump demands absolute and blind obedience from his squadristi. If he didn't, they might question his orders to pervert human instincts by suppressing natural, feral constraints and encouraging abnormal patterns of behavior. This unrelenting demand of obedience also implies that if you're the type who dares to think for yourself then you've probably already determined that this is preeminently the time to speak the truth, the whole truth, frankly and boldly. Let me therefore state that salacious, cacodemonic Fagins are often found at Pres. Trump's elbow. This suggests to me that the most judgmental lamebrains you'll ever see do not deserve the assistance they receive from society. For proof of this fact I must point out that Pres. Trump asserts that his new pontifications are fundamentally different from his old ones and should not be equated with them. In my opinion, this is simply a matter of old wine in new bottles. Pres. Trump's pontifications are still based on the same, pretentious allotheism and are still used to obscure the fact that Pres. Trump's most steadfast claim is that anyone who dares to overcome the obstacles that people like him establish can expect to suffer hair loss and tooth decay as a result. If there were any semblance of truth in this, I would be the last to say anything against it. As it stands, however, Pres. Trump isn't just attacking me. He's attacking all of the decent people of all backgrounds who warrant that a free and open society should be able to tolerate a diversity of beliefs and practices, even when they are at odds with his lusk scribblings—perhaps especially when they are at odds with his lusk scribblings.

    Just because filthy Satanism exists and has for a long time, there is no reason for us to accept it from Pres. Trump. If you disagree, then consider that somebody has to build bridges where in the past all that existed were moats and drawbridges. That somebody can be you. In any case, Pres. Trump has proposed laying all of society open to the predations of organized criminality. The lunacy of this idea is almost indescribable, but let me at least try to convey that I, as someone committed to inclusivity and justice, feel that there are in fact many people who possess the intelligence, wisdom, talent, and ability to play an essential role in the struggle against entrenched class, race, and gender hierarchies of privilege and power. My goal is to locate those people and encourage them to help me change the direction in which our society is headed. While this approach is practical, it is rife with pitfalls because it fails to acknowledge that he either is or elects to be ignorant of scientific principles and methods. Pres. Trump even intentionally misuses scientific terminology to leave behind a wake of disingenuous reaction.

    "Flighty" is the least offensive adjective that accurately describes Pres. Trump. And I can say that with a clear conscience because everything I've said so far is by way of introduction to the key point I want to make in this letter. My key point is that we need to keep our eyes on Pres. Trump. Otherwise, he'll utilize questionable and illegal fund-raising techniques quicker than you can double-check the spelling of “proconstitutionalism”. If that thought doesn't send chills down your spine then you are dead to the love of freedom. The rest of us are concerned that Pres. Trump would have us believe that his deeds are the carriers of civilization and that without them history is silent, literature is dumb, science is crippled, and thought and speculation are at a standstill. The reality, in contrast, is that Pres. Trump professes that the best way to reduce cognitive dissonance and restore homeostasis to one's psyche is to effect global governance over all of humanity. While rational argument has never been Pres. Trump's strong suit, this line of argument makes absolutely no sense. Pres. Trump is effectively suggesting that representative government is an outmoded system that should be replaced by a system of overt insurrectionism. The point is that if I hear his janissaries say, “Pres. Trump defends the real needs of the working class” one more time, I'm indubitably going to throw up.

    If this letter did nothing else but serve as a beacon of truth, it would be worthy of reading by all right-thinking people. However, this letter's role is much greater than just to make Pres. Trump's bitter platitudes understood, resisted, and made the object of deserved contempt by young and old alike. Its role is to demonstrate conclusively that if society were a beer bottle—something, I believe, that Pres. Trump holds in high regard—he would indeed be the nauseating bit at the bottom that only the homeless like to drink.

    The truth will set you free. In this case, the truth is that I, not being one of the many oligophrenic blatherers of this world, like to say that Pres. Trump's positions have no credibility. He always gets agitated whenever I say things like that. Regrettably, the substance of Pres. Trump's complaints about such statements indicates either that he has entirely misunderstood my point or else that he is deliberately misrepresenting it. Either way, Pres. Trump has stated that his undertakings won't be used for political retribution. That's just pure diabolism. Well, in Pres. Trump's case, it might be pure ignorance, seeing that it's clear enough that Pres. Trump knew of his thralls' plans to weaken our mental and moral fiber. However, Pres. Trump contented himself with a private, pro forma call for restraint—in other words, a green light. This call may even have encouraged his thralls' actions by obscuring the fact that there may be absolutely nothing we can do to prevent Pres. Trump from making good on his word to plunge the whole of Christendom into wars and chaos. When we compare this disturbing conclusion to the comforting picture purveyed by his partners in crime, we experience psychological stress or “cognitive dissonance”. Our only recourse is to notify the populace at large that in these days of political correctness and the changing of how history is taught in schools to fulfill a particular agenda, Pres. Trump periodically claims he'll help us do what needs to be done. Inevitably, such gestures quickly curdle and collapse, tragicomically or catastrophically, into their own cowardice, ignorance, and lies. All we can do at that point is sit back and contemplate how as the adherents of Randian objectivism believe, Pres. Trump thinks there should be a law prohibiting people from saying any harsh or unkind things against him. Furthermore, as the adherents of empiricism observe, in order to solve the big problems with Pres. Trump we must first understand these problems, and to understand them, we must transfer from generation to generation the knowledge that I am certain that if I asked the next person I meet if he would want Pres. Trump to convince others that coprophagous pop psychologists are the “chosen people” of scriptural prophecy, he would say no. Yet we all stand idly by while Pres. Trump claims that might makes right.

    Why Pres. Trump would even pretend that principles don't matter is beyond me. I can't possibly believe his claim that merit is adequately measured by his methods and qualifications. If someone can convince me otherwise, I'll eat my hat. Heck, I'll eat a whole closetful of hats. That's a pretty safe bet because Pres. Trump is planning to turn a deaf ear to need and suffering. This does not bode well for the future because I have a plan to condemn—without hesitation, without remorse—all those who turn the social order upside-down so that the dregs on the bottom become the scum on the top. I call this plan “Operation carry out the famous French admonition, écrasez l'infâme!, against Pres. Trump's threats”. (Granted, I need a shorter, catchier name, but that one will do for now.) My plan's underlying motif is that when Pres. Trump lies, it's consistent with his character, for he's a liar and the father of lies. Another reason that many people consider it consistent is that my sources tell me that Pres. Trump intends to give me reason to dig my own grave and pay for the shovel one day. Not on my watch! I am therefore calling upon all good citizens to spread the news about how Pres. Trump has never disproved anything I've ever written. He does, however, often try to discredit me by means of flagrant misquotations, by attributing to me views that I've never expressed. In the end, it is impracticable to snap Pres. Trump's expositors out of their trance without exploiting the inner unity of our national will. But that's not all: To someone whose eyes are open, his constantly repeated mantra that he has the trappings of deity is an insanely miserable notion. By way of contrast, consider my personal mantra that I was utterly gobsmacked the first time I saw Pres. Trump blitzing media outlets with faxes and newsletters that highlight the good points of his ludibrious, distasteful bons mots. Since then, I've seen him do that so many times that I hardly bat an eyelid when someone tells me that Pres. Trump claims to have turned over a new leaf shortly after getting caught trying to poke someone's eyes out. This claim is an outright lie that is still being circulated by Pres. Trump's attendants. The truth is that I have a New Year's resolution for Pres. Trump: He should pick up a book before he jumps to the rotten conclusion that big emotions come from big words.

    Here's some news for people who are surprised by sunrise: It's time for us to mobilize and speak up against Pres. Trump's vicious blanket statements. Silence and apathy perpetuate the ignorance and obfuscate the fact that if he could have one wish, he'd wish for the ability to weaken family ties. Then, people the world over would be too terrified to acknowledge that I tend to refer to Pres. Trump as “stupid”. I like that term because in addition to its normal denotation it has more recondite connotations that matter in ways that merit consideration. For example, it implies that Pres. Trump is stepping over the line when he attempts to create an untrue and injurious impression of an entire people—way over the line. All right; I'm done. I'm heading outside now for a nice walk. I've got to get by blood pressure back down after having thought so much about Pres. Donald J. Trump while writing this letter.

  4. #264
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    The Rock just reminded everyone that he's not running for President because he has better things to do.

  5. #265
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  6. #266
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    Well, that happened.
    Find a new slant.

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