Alright... had a few G&T's and feeling much more positive. New Outlook:

Tigers: 3-1 over the A's. Who the fuck are the A's starting in the second game??? You're going to tell me this no-name assclown thinks he can hang with Verlander? JUSTIN VERLANDER??? Forget about his "below average" season that he's had this year. He's still Justin FUCKING Verlander. Max has got game one against that stupid fatass. Verlander will bukake on Sonny Gray. Sanchez will dance on Jarrod Parker's grave and Fister will, well, fist Dan Straily. I'm giving them one win because Phil Coke will give up 7 runs in one of the games. I'm not sure which.

Lions: Not a bad start. Gotta admit, that defense looks very un-Lions-like. And Pettigrew only has one fumble so far this year! IMPROVEMENT!

Pistons: Josh Smith and Jennings could be fun to watch. There's a chance they could suck as usual, but at least they'll be fun to watch.

Red Wings: They're the fucking Red Wings. They haven't won a stanley cup in what, five years? I think they're due. They also have the best coach in the NHL who also happens to have the best hair on earth.