Random copypasta

[Glenn]

The Diceman approves.

[Timone]

i hate being a mother of two I had to give up my career. it sucks my husband gos off to work smiling while im stuck in the house with a 2 year old and a one month old who keeps me up all night. I have lost weight because i dont have time to eat. i look at my friends facebook pages they look good having fun they have kids. My husband says it will get better but fuck when will it get better. i know when it will get better as soon as i go back to work im leaving and paying child support im getting my life back. Until someone walks in my shoes they dont know shit. I went to the doctor and got the morena but since my husband made me have this second baby and i told him we were better off with one he will never taste this kitty cat again. im so done with sex i dont care if he go off and have sex with some one else. iim so bored being married to him we dont do shit its so many guys who hit me up on face book asking to take me out . crazy thing about it i would be like no before but this time im going why not cheat aleast i would have fun. plus i can move on

[Timone]

you just bullied me. bullied me. the greatest hypocracy i have ever seen. i thought this was a caring community that had concern for its own people. you're all bullies. REMEMBER THAT! cowards who can't see beyond a book some other f**** wrote that you could've written. you bitches have no confidence to look with your own eyes so you let doctors point your eyes to your shoes. bitchboys and cowardy c**** hiding behind your keyboards acting like you're all better than me because i dont talk or think like you. my great great grandpa was offered to be king twice and he refused out of morality because being king means people die. my family is better than all of you genetic rejects and i dont get cheeky or brag. this is the love that i come from. this is the standard i was raised on, to care and to love. and i come into a world with no standards and no heart and i feel hate for being cheated each and every time i showed my love in this cold and unloving retentive society and i come for consolidation and you spit on me with your pathetic internet egos. f**k you all i hope you all die miserable and lonely you socially deprived bitter losers f**k aspies and autistic people you need to get shat on more if you got a problem go out there and do something rather than taking it out on your own kind you f***ing bitches i hate you pieces of sh** marketing your website like you care about people. you're just living the live you wish you could live in person on the internet because none of you would speak your minds in person i know autistic people they're all ****. f**k you all all you have is cheek and brainless wit you're all c**** go f**k yourselves. im going to bully every autistic person i meet now. ya you heard me. ive never bullied anyone in my whole life. now im going to bully autistic people because you're all ****. f**k you.

A College Professor stood on his chair and said, "If GOD really exists, knock me off my chair." Nothing happened. The class was quiet. He said "See? I'll give it a couple more minutes". A 82nd ABN Vet stood up, punched him in the face knocking him out and off the chair, then sat back down. As the Professor came to he looked at his student and said, "WHY'D YOU DO THAT?" He said, "GOD was busy protecting my buddies still fighting for your right to say and do stupid stuff like this, so HE SENT ME".

[Timone]

I'm hoping someone can help. I'm having a very difficult time with my dressing. In the past couple of weeks I discovered I had done some dressing "for fun" with my cousins back in the mid 1970s. I had completely suppressed this from my memory but something triggered my past. I remember dressing as a girl and doing things indoors with my cousins like playing games, watching TV, and etc. One cousin was male (who desired to be female) and one was female. I wore most everything to appear as a girl except make-up, wig or bra. I've worn dresses, skirts, pantyhose, as well as shorts, t-shirts (you could tell they were girly) and high heels. I had a breakdown in front of my wife and confessed everything that I had remembered. She was ok. She asked the usual are you gay, bi or do you want to be a girl questions and my answer was a truthful no. She asked what I wanted from this. I didn't and still don't know. I'm happy being a guy and do not wish to present as a girl, but wearing panties, camisoles under guy clothes along with girl jeans satisfied me over this past weekend. I have had strong desires to do so again, but have not had an opportunity to do so. I have figured out I can't do without at least panties (I wear 24/7) but need to feel more girlish without presenting as a girl. I feel this is right for me and as far as I want to go (except for pajamas but that's another story) I so badly want to feel like a girl and not be a girl. I guess I just need someone to tell me that is ok.
Sorry for the long post, but I needed to provide some backgound.

[Timone]

You have a quite a mouth.

I have mastered the Divine Fist of the North Star and have won the Kumate tournament 3 years in a row. I am currently ranked as the World's Second Deadliest Man, right below Count Dante himself. What's that? Do I even lift? Why yes, I can bench press 2,561 pounds American, and that's just warming up. You claim you will use guns on an unarmed fighter? Typical of your breed. **** waffle, I possess Blademaster training and can katana your bullets outta thin air like the fucking Matrix.

Normally, I have a peaceful, meditative spirit, and a quiet veneration for all life. However, you sir, YOU, are a psychopathic clown, an unbelievable pile of scum and brainless muscle. You terrorize the good citizens of /sp/, who desire only to discuss sports and Power Rank various things.
When our mods banned you, you hacked their IP to come back. After I reported to you to the proper authorities, you broke out of jail and spammed 4Chan anew. Truly, you are the lowest form of life on God's Earth. Excuse me baka? You called me a **** again?
As a world class martial artist and legendary ninja, I can only act in self defense. So please Mister Internet Gangster, come at me bro.

Tre?

The only reason you could not picture yourself behind the wheel of a corvette is because your some pencil neck little puke, and that is the truth. This car is not for faggots or p*****s its for muscle bound guys who bang hot chicks. If you want to complain go home and talk to your cat about how sporty your 3 series is.

F*****g joke people calling the corvette down, get a life. Oh i heard there is a new bmw z4 out, you and your **** friends better run and check it out. HAHAHAHAHA

[Timone]

Awesome pics. Great size. Look thick. Solid. Tight. Keep us all posted on your continued progress with any new progress pics or vid clips. Show us what you got man. Wanna see how freakin' huge, solid, thick and tight you can get. Thanks for the motivation. Call me.

[Vinny]

Yow.

[Timone]

When I was 12, I thought it would be funny to sh!t into a Pringles can...so I did. The log nearly filled the entire can. Then I got the brilliant idea to fill the rest of the can with water and leave it out in my backyard. It was winter at the time so I imagined it would freeze as a cylinder of ice with a log of sh!t in the middle. The next night, my drunk older brother (who was 16) and his buddies came stumbling through the backyard. One of them saw the can and decided to kick it. Instead of freezing, the can had turned into a chilled tube of diarrhea. It sprayed all over the guy who kicked its foot and his buddy's Philly Eagles jacket. I laughed my ass off as they washed my sh!t off their shoes and coat. One of them had a mustache (at 16) so I didn't give a phuck. They knew it was sh!t, but they never knew its origins.

[Timone]

Attention, fact: Life was funny when we were all 12 living in the suburbs listening to linkin park watching dragonball z drinking pepsi while playing halo co-op on the easiest setting during which we consumed doritos and looked at paintball guns on ebay in internet explorer connected through aol on a 56k modem before hopping into our balding fathers' latest midlife-crisis-impulse-sponsored japanese-built suv to head to the mall and get more skateboarding shoes and third-rate irregular levis and mountain bike parts before heading home, voting democrat and masturbating to the latest sears catalog while huffing paint in your garage before talking to pedophiles on aim pretending to be whatever camwhore they're ranting about on myspace with a matrix quote/anime character name/triple six-asterisk-parentheses-surrounded screenname before heading to your supposed "good school" in the morning to buy more pot to smoke during your counter-strike lan party with jimmy and the rest of his friends taking ritalin and adderall and prozac eight times a day before taking a casual pass at local, state or national governmential figures, legislature, or structure to appear edgy and intelligent in front of your budweiser-sneaking, limp-wristed, near-to-columbine sociopathic "deep" friends who play the victim when they start losing arguements six days before their botched suicide attempt simply because school tramp number twelve wouldn't go under the bleachers with them to let them get to second base before their thirteenth birthday.

[Timone]

Got some questions for you, I know a lot about sex and stuff thanks to friends from my University but I'm not very knowledgeable .

When I was 13, I had a girl as deskmate and I had feelings for her. And appearantly she had feelings for me. So we started touching us during lessons under the desks. We started spending time together. Soon, I found out she was cheating on me. I never talked to her about it. Summer came and we didn't talk for months. The next year , we were in different classes and we stopped talking with each other but I couldn't forget her. So I went up to her asked her out and she refused. After that I became stalker, I followed her everywhere and talked to her about the whole issue. I bet her up once, she cried. School's counselor learned of it and invited over to her room. She wanted me to stop stalking or I would have to change my school. I agreed to stop , I did ok for the remaining time. I didn't go to graduation prom , she was going with another guy.

After that year I kinda got fucked up. Using the biology, I learned what girls generally like, I started using girls for sex. Life is about reproduction so girls want things that guarantee their children's safety and well-being. Money,you having a healthy body and trustworthyness. I told them lies all the time and dumped them after I had what I wanted. I became a sex addict, had sex or masturbated 7-8 times a day. Too much sex made my body very fit. Didn't have to do sports. I only felt sorry for some Russian girl that I lied to. I shouldn't have lied to her about my age, I met her in a hotel, she was in the entertainment squad, she took care of little children, danced in mini disco for them at nights. I used my brother reach her. We started spending time and one day she invited me to her room. We made love. I kept us secret from my family but soon they learned and they interfered and she learned of my lie. I wanted talk to her about it but she said she won't talk to me again. I came back home broken hearted. I attempted suicide after that. Her name was Natheliena. I had fallen in love with her but I never saw her again. She left me nothing no pic,no msn,no way to reach her. Whatever so it's the same thing for more than 3 years, I'm still a sex-addict and I do petty theft and stuff. I am a communist so I have the means to justfiy the ends, I admire Stalin. I kinda want to take revenge from women and the world tbh. I hate sex and love it at the same time, I want to stop being a sex addict and become a decent person but living like a bandit is all I know. I don't know how to do it.