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Thread: Random copypasta

  1. #311
    I actually haven't spoken to my straight son in several years but was reminded of him today. The last time I spoke to him was when I went to meet with some clients at their office. After the meeting I told my son to wait while I used the bathroom, then I drove off and went for a late lunch with my husband.

    Apparently my son just wandered around the office for a week, living on snacks and left out sandwich platters, until he wandered into a meeting and delivered a PowerPoint presentation entitled: "Have you seen my dad? I can't find his car in the parking lot." I guess this really impressed the idiots who worked there, because pretty soon he was their Senior Director of Corporate Communications. This is a Fortune 500 company, mind you.

    Seems like my son is doing pretty well, despite his heterosexual handicap, and is now a motivational business speaker and published author with works such as:

    Where is YOUR Dad? Defining Your Company's Core Values for Success
    Lost in the Parking Lot: Finding Meaning in a Shifting Business Paradigm

    Anyway, I was reminded of my son today because during a meeting someone said, "Well right now I'd say we're lost in the parking lot. But once we've had time to make sense of the analytics we'll know where our dad is."

  2. #312
    Langlois Insider Vinny's Avatar
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    This thread is on fire.

    I'm reppin' Jesus Christ and Conservative views....



    Quick piece by VINNY which was a logo style of his. VINNY also did two letter throw up's by the name of FI 2.



    GO WHITE!

  3. #313
    Tell Ea-nasir: Nanni sends the following message:

    When you came, you said to me as follows : "I will give Gimil-Sin (when he comes) fine quality copper ingots." You left then but you did not do what you promised me. You put ingots which were not good before my messenger (Sit-Sin) and said: "If you want to take them, take them; if you do not want to take them, go away!"

    What do you take me for, that you treat somebody like me with such contempt? I have sent as messengers gentlemen like ourselves to collect the bag with my money (deposited with you) but you have treated me with contempt by sending them back to me empty-handed several times, and that through enemy territory. Is there anyone among the merchants who trade with Telmun who has treated me in this way? You alone treat my messenger with contempt! On account of that one (trifling) mina of silver which I owe(?) you, you feel free to speak in such a way, while I have given to the palace on your behalf 1,080 pounds of copper, and Šumi-abum has likewise given 1,080 pounds of copper, apart from what we both have had written on a sealed tablet to be kept in the temple of Shamash.

    How have you treated me for that copper? You have withheld my money bag from me in enemy territory; it is now up to you to restore (my money) to me in full.

    Take cognizance that (from now on) I will not accept here any copper from you that is not of fine quality. I shall (from now on) select and take the ingots individually in my own yard, and I shall exercise against you my right of rejection because you have treated me with contempt.

  4. #314
    A Great Name Timone's Avatar
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    Hell yeah, Nanni!

  5. #315
    Langlois Insider Vinny's Avatar
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    I knew I'd read that somewhere before:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compla...et_to_Ea-nasir

    I'm reppin' Jesus Christ and Conservative views....



    Quick piece by VINNY which was a logo style of his. VINNY also did two letter throw up's by the name of FI 2.



    GO WHITE!

  6. #316
    If you’ve read the comments section of any respected website over the past year, certainly you’re aware of my expertise ranging from, but not limited to:
    The Constitution. Venezuela. Libtards. The Founding Fathers. Regulating the uterus. Martial arts. Jesus. World of Warcraft. Babes. And how the ’97 Olmsted Falls Bulldogs would have totally won state if coach let me start at middle linebacker instead of Chad Weaver. (Complete, unabridged remarks on Chad Weaver available upon request.)

    What you may not know is that I’m now a leading authority on infectious disease.

  7. #317
    Glenn's Avatar
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    Only funny because it’s true
    Find a new slant.

  8. #318
    Glenn's Avatar
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    Well walking around this stinking town
    I look up at the buildings and they get me down
    Well I look to my left and then I look to my right
    And then I realize they've been striking at me
    Since the middle of last night, hey!
    Find a new slant.

  9. #319
    Langlois Insider Vinny's Avatar
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    No, no no!

    I'm reppin' Jesus Christ and Conservative views....



    Quick piece by VINNY which was a logo style of his. VINNY also did two letter throw up's by the name of FI 2.



    GO WHITE!

  10. #320
    A Great Name Timone's Avatar
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    I know everyone's going to think this is fake but trust me when I say this is an actual situation I'm going through. So for some explanation I have been collection Funko Pops way before I even met my wife. Buying Funko Pops started off just as a small interest but quickly became a passion of mine. Since my first time buying a Funko Pop 6 years ago I've stocked up thousands of these figures. So now about my relationship with my wife. 2 years ago I met my soon to be wife. From the very beginning of the relationship she was well aware of my Funko Pop collection and was well aware that at the time I was spending a few hundred bucks monthly in order to keep expanding my collection. She was perfectly fine with this btw. In fact she would buy Funko Pops for me for my B-Day and for Christmas. However about a week ago we got in a huge fight over my spending of Funko Pops. I will admit these past few months I have been dropping about $500 monthly on Funko figures, but in my opinion it was not financially tanking considering me and my wife have pretty decent jobs. I don't want to state what those jobs are for privacy reasons. Anyways she was telling me I needed to stop the Funko Pop collecting for a long time or at least cut down my Funko spending to 3 Funko Pops per month. In my opinion that is so ridiculous considering how limited I would be in my choice of Funko Pops. I tried to explain to her how much I enjoy collecting these figures, and how much it means to me. She then started yelling that we were going to go in debt because of the amount of money I've been spending on Funko Pops. I stated to her how she was completely over-reacting and there is no way we could possibly go in debt from this.

    After some more screaming she locked herself in our room and I had to sleep on the couch that night. I really did not feel bad at all because I knew she was over-reacting. When I woke up in the morning she told me she was going to stay at her sisters house until we could sort things out. I honestly just couldn't believe she was going so far with this. I tried my best to convince her to stay but again she kept stating that I needed to stop the Funko collecting for a long time. That isn't an option for me because again she is completely over-reacting and it is in no way affecting us financially.

    A few days go by and I get a call from her. She tells me that I need to choose. Either I stop the Funko Pop collecting or we're getting a divorce. I started telling her how ridiculous she was being because she obviously is being ridiculous. After 2 years she was just willing to throw away our marriage over my passion. She was pretty much sobbing at this point and then I finally just told her I'm not going to let her get in the way of my passion. I still haven't gotten the divorce papers but I'm expecting them soon.

    So AITA for choosing Funko Pops over my wife? Again I'm very passionate about them and I think it's ridiculous for someone to try and take that away from me when it is in no way shape or form hurting them..

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