Random copypasta

[Vinny]

Strolling, rolling, bounding, bouncing across Europe, people often ask me what it means to be an American. I tell ‘em it’s triumph. Triumph. Triumph when we nuke our enemies. Triumph when when peer down from the moon and laugh heartily at Russia. Triumph when we depose one dictator after another. Triumph when we break into the homes of terrorist kingpins on the other side of Earth and shoot them in the face. Triumph when we use flying robots to bomb other terrorists in Afghanistan, and other nuclear robots to explore Mars. Triumph when we free Europe from Nazis. Triumph. Triumph. Triumph.

But it’s not just the the big things, see? It’s the way I can set up lawn chairs at my friends house on the Texas Rio Grande and share a toast to freedom while watching Mexicans charge into gunfire to enter my country. It’s the way an Italian cabbie sits up straight and floors the gas when he hears my accent. It’s seeing the wide eyes and bead of sweat running down the forehead of a German customs agent when he opens my passport. It’s the way a French waiter hangs his head when I refuse the wine and ask for Coke instead, in English knowing full well he understands me (and that they have it). The way an Aussie blushes and leans into the urinal next to me in the bathroom, or the scowl that meets my smirk when I tip an English waiter in US dollars covered with Washington’s face. The way small mobs of Canadian school children follow me from a distance to see what a free man looks like, or how heads timidly rise and women gather when my accent stops the music in the clubs of Amsterdam.

Triumph. Every bit of it, triumph. That’s what it means to be an American.

TRIUMPH!


OH CANADA! Yes, I know.Suck it Glan.

[Timone]

...I think.
The code could be better, but it could also be worse. It was written to be understandable, rather than terse - for that, see the writeup below. There you can see an interpreter done in 3 lines of obfuscated C. (Which is cool, but consider which one is easier to debug or maintain :-P) This would probably make for a good tournament of Perl Golf.
That said:

import java.io.InputStream;
import java.io.PrintStream;
import java.io.File;
import java.io.FileInputStream;
import java.io.IOException;
import java.util.ArrayList;
import java.util.Stack;
class Brainfuck {
InputStream input;
PrintStream output;
ArrayList infiniteTape;
int headPosition;
Brainfuck( InputStream in, PrintStream out ) {
input = in;
output = out;
infiniteTape = new ArrayList();
for( int i = 0; i != 50; i++ ) infiniteTape.add( new Byte( (byte)0x00 ) );
headPosition = 0;
}
void interpret( byte[] code ) throws IOException {
int instructionPointer = 0;
Stack nestedLoops = new Stack();
while( instructionPointer != code.length ) switch( code[instructionPointer] ) {
case '>' :
headPosition++;
if( headPosition >= infiniteTape.size() ) stretchTapeEnd();
instructionPointer++;
break;
case '<' :
headPosition--;
if( headPosition <= 0 ) stretchTapeStart();
instructionPointer++;
break;
case '+' :
setSymbol( (byte)(getSymbol() + 0x01) );
instructionPointer++;
break;
case '-' :
setSymbol( (byte)(getSymbol() - 0x01) );
instructionPointer++;
break;
case ',' :
setSymbol( (byte)input.read() );
instructionPointer++;
break;
case '.' :
output.print( (char)getSymbol() );
instructionPointer++;
break;
case '[' :
if( getSymbol() != 0x00 ) {
nestedLoops.push( new Integer( ++instructionPointer ) );
} else instructionPointer = skipLoop( code, instructionPointer );
break;
case ']' :
if( nestedLoops.size() == 0 )
throw new IOException ("mismatched ]");
if( getSymbol() != (byte)0x00 ) {
instructionPointer = ((Integer)nestedLoops.peek()).intValue();
} else {
nestedLoops.pop();
instructionPointer++;
}
break;
default : instructionPointer++; break;
}
}
byte getSymbol() {
Byte symbol = (Byte)infiniteTape.get( headPosition );
return symbol.byteValue();
}
void setSymbol( byte value ) {
Byte symbol = new Byte( value );
infiniteTape.set( headPosition, symbol );
}
void stretchTapeEnd() {
for( int i = 0; i != 20; i++ )
infiniteTape.add( new Byte( (byte)0x00 ) );
}
void stretchTapeStart() {
for( int i = 0; i != 20; i++ )
infiniteTape.add( 0, new Byte( (byte)0x00 ) );
headPosition += 20;
}
int skipLoop( byte[] code, int from ) {
int subLoops = 0;
do switch( code[++from] ) {
case '[' : subLoops++; break;
case ']' : subLoops--; break;
default : break;
} while( subLoops != -1 );
return ++from;
}
public static void main( String[] args ) throws IOException {
byte[] code;
if( args.length < 1 ) {
System.out.println( "Usage: java Brainfuck file.b" );
return;
}
File brainfuckFile = new File( args[0] );
if( !brainfuckFile.exists() ) {
System.out.println( args[0] + " does not exist" );
return;
}
code = new byte[(int)brainfuckFile.length()];
FileInputStream fileIn = new FileInputStream( brainfuckFile );
for( int i = 0; i != code.length; i++ ) code[i] = (byte)fileIn.read();
fileIn.close();
Brainfuck interpreter = new Brainfuck( System.in, System.out );
interpreter.interpret( code );
}

[Uncle Mxy]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brainfuck

[Timone]

the reason i am staying away from occults and satanists and worshippers of entities which represent evil is quite clear. i am a warrior of light. i have lost a relative to aleister crowley’s cult. he was so brainwashed he believed he had to sacrifice a family member for the cause of whatever it was that they believed in. he killed his grandfather, my father’s grandfather. then he killed himself. stay away from dark cults, kids. i say this from personal experience. open your eyes to the truth. stay alert, always beware. there is much evil in this world, even when it is sugarcoated in wisdom and beauty. question everything. i do not want anyone to go through the pain my family went through.

[Timone]

Usually when people talk shit, I just brush it off, but now, it's gone a little to far. Assclown, you talk as you know me but in reality you don't know shit about me. I'm guessing you've never been in a situation involving a real live thug that was born and raised in the ghetto/hood(me). Yes i've turned my life to good, but i will throw all that out the window if you continue to talk shit about me. I've killed a few people back in my banging days and Just remember next time before you open your mouth, you better be praying that i'm in a good mood, or else you'll be in for a rude awakening when the thug in me unleashes.

[Timone]

I saw you here after the Superbowl. You know I'm talking about Niner fans in general. Your entire fanbase is all mouth, and then once they lose the game, they're off hiding again, and bragging about their rings from the 1980's as if anyone other than Niner fans cares about that. It's like bragging about having all the New Kids on the Block albums on cassette.

As to Stevie Johnson... great trade for the 49ers. No doubt about it.

But the games are played during the season. And the 49ers haven't won anything. You all seem to forget who is the Reigning World Champions. Show some respect and save that little boy "yap yap" for the other puppies. This is Big Dog country right here. Y'all are nothin' but pups and you don't scare anyone in Seattle. We've watched the Niners yappin off at the gums for the last 3 years and do NOTHING. Your team isn't even man enough to admit when they get beat down. You haven't earned any respect, and your team is irrelevant to us. We own you. That is fact.

Acquiring a great WR doesn't put you in our league. Winning a championship NOW puts you even with us. Until then, you all keep licking our boots and acting tough. It's good for a laugh.

translation: "I really live in Ohio"

[Timone]

English is your second language, isn't it? You don't have a first. Your post is an **** of stultifying cacophonous verbal depravity; an exercise in literary impotence, and an offense to all of good taste and decency.

It's just as well you can type, for if you had to speak your mind, you'd be speechless. If ignorance were a disability, you'd get the full pension. Anyway, who was talking to you or even taking you under consideration? As Robert Wilensky said: "We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."

[Uncle Mxy]

mercyclinton668

[Timone]

Asking vegans to respect your decision to eat meat is on par with asking feminists to respect sexists and so on.. It is ludicrous to think that different opinions warrant mutual respect. Especially when the opposing opinion not only stands for everything you are against but appropriates suffering, defends oppression and encourages exploitation.

[Timone]

It's the fault of most American women that adult American males are given the option of being total geeks or being alone. You see...all the qualities that would help America and lead to the American dream being achieved for so many millions...are considered nerdy. Physicists are looked down on in America. Physicists! Community volunteers are considered wimps. Kindness and modesty as well. Compromise. Peace. All that stuff is frowned upon. Thanks to American women. And thus, not only does nothing function properly whether it's mechanical or administrative or even judicial in this country, but absolutely nobody can bare to take responsibility for these failures when they cause them. We men here are pricks, that's for sure...but we just like to have respect and/or alot of sex. We don't have this biological predication to sink the world the way American womankind does. Oh they'll swear up and down that you don't know what you're talking about and how dare you if you ever point this out...which further assures the problem will only get worse. I'm not saying a woman doesn't have a right to get guys to compete over them...but keep in mind ladies that most guys are idiots, and given that they all want to impress you, you have to expect to see alot of idiotic and thoughtless actions on the part of stupid, greedy, heartless men. Essentially on your behalf.