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Thread: Random copypasta

  1. #301
    A Great Name Timone's Avatar
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    Hi, Gavin, beside being Italian I am also from the Parma region, and as a young boy I’ve help in a Parmigiano cheese factory. I am very impress with the cheese making process you have shown in the video. In a small scale it represents, right down to the temperatures used, on what is happening in the factory. I cannot understand some of the negative comments you received, some individuals are just idiots. Of course, yours is not THE Parmigiano Reggiano, but so what? You have made a cheese that resembles the original and I am also sure it tastes good. On being precise, the making of Parmigiano cheese is controlled all the way to the actual feed the cattle get and with favoring the evening milking vs morning milking. So again, good job on what you have done, and opinionated people....shame on you.

  2. #302
    Gavin should just claim to be producing Pecorino Romano, THOSE guys have no standards.

  3. #303
    A Great Name Timone's Avatar
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    A few months ago I posted on here about a supervisor not letting me go on breaks at work. I have gotten a new job since then since I simply could not work with my supervisor.

    I have written and recorded several songs dissing my old supervisor and bringing up all the things he did to me into a mixtape.

    If I were to upload these songs into SoundCloud or YouTube and my supervisor heard them, is there any kind of legal action he could take against me for name-dropping him in many of the songs?

    tl;dr: I made a mixtape dissing my old boss and mention his name in many of the songs, if I made this mixtape public, could he take any legal action against me?

  4. #304
    Glenn's Avatar
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    Bet that’s FIRE
    Find a new slant.

  5. #305
    A Great Name Timone's Avatar
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    I just went back and read through the entire thread. I know I'm pathetic.

    It's hilarious how many of these posts could've been written by bukdow.

  6. #306
    This is a great thread for re-reading.

  7. #307
    A Great Name Timone's Avatar
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    If you haven’t noticed by now, I’m a well educated individual, both in the traditional sense as a UC Berkeley graduate with a full scholarship, as well as continuing on afterwards as a self taught polymath. In school I excelled in biology, physics, philosophy, psychology and mathematics, notably probability and statistics. My areas of interest in my younger years revolved mainly in world religions, esoteric studies and the occult. You could easily describe me as an Existential savant. Later in life I gravitated to quantum physics, exoplanetary astronomy, extremophile biology plus cutting edge antigravity technology, reverse engineered by crashed ET saucers, technologically produced wormholes and FTL and old school rocket propulsion. I’m also a huge fan of ancient alien progentiure theories, including Zachariah Stitchens work with Sumerian Annunaki and have read the ‘Book of Enki’ in its entirety, not an easy task mind you. It’s like trying to understand Shakespear. My knowledge is not limited to this geographical region alone. I’m well versed in others including Egyptian, Mayan and Hindu extraterrestrial origin mythologies. Adjunct to these archeological studies, I’m familiar with the hidden teachings of Gnosticism, Zoroastrianism or Mazdayasna and Sufism, Theosophy, the Illuminati, Latin American Shamanism and ancient Greek mystery schools of both Hermeticism and Eudaimonia. Most recently my interests have included the latest UFO and extraterrestrial conspiratorial subjects including Roswell, Area 51, Majestic 12, Nikola Tesla, the Philadelphia experiment, Alien taxonomy and hybrids, CIA Mind Control programs like MK Ultra, Time travel and the Montauk chair experiments. I’ve also watched many documentaries on the numerous secret space programs, Earth’s secret subterranean biosphere’s and the naturally occuring portals that allow access. Hidden spacecraft buried under Antartica including the secret post WWII Nazi base, the US navy’s crushing defeat under project highjump. Breakaway civilizations with moon bases within a hollow core and those on Mars competing with indigneous Insectoid and Reptilian species. Finally to end this exhaustive list, there’s the supremely complex alien politics originating from time immemorial when the first Dracos attacked the first humanoid Lyrans who then fled to distant parts of the Galaxy, making up the Pleadians, Sirians, Orians and a number of others that seeded our solar system and that make up the Galactic Federation, the Alliance and various organizations that watch us, monitoring our precarious situation until the coming Ascension cycling every 250,000 years as the solar system circles the center of the Galaxy, called the ‘procession’. Evidently as this occurs, our planetary system will enter a region of intense electromagnetism instigating our Sun to release a solar flare 1000 times greater than normal and thus elevating all inhabitants of Earth into a greater cosmic awareness and perhaps destroying a plot to utilize artificial intelligence against humanity and possibly our entire power grid with a monumental EMF? Suffice it to say that I possess a wealth of science fiction information from which to draw upon in the creation of my own story inspiration.

  8. #308
    A Great Name Timone's Avatar
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    I bear witness to the fact that throughout my lifetime, the lifeblood of my republic has been drained away by greedy and self-serving men, from high to low, who contrive nought but deception against their neighbors and countrymen, and who fail to consider that their children and mine shall share the same fate, the same future, and I am saddened by it.

    But I am a soldier, and I know what must be done; and so I shall put away my sadness and I shall harness up the bitter steed of war, and gird myself up for the battle; and I shall ride out to meet the enemies of Liberty; not in rage, not for anger sake or the hope of vengeance; but because I swore an oath before God, to jealously guard our Republic and its Constitution against all enemies; Him I shall not disappoint, for He is my Hope and my Trust.

    Therefore, as much as my soul laments against the harsh truth before me, I make this declaration to my enemies who press me into this battle, that none shall be able to afterwards say "I did not know, you did not warn me";

    I do not care why you took that job with the government, or why you continue to hold it. I only know that you have become Judas and sold yourself to an oppressive state — your government office buildings and vehicles are part of the battlefield, and as a soldier I shall act accordingly.

    I do not care why, as a journalist, you choose to spin and corrupt the news, rather than report the plain truth and let the people judge for themselves. I only know that you have violated the public trust in the most vile and seditious manner, and thus your homes, offices, studios, vehicles, and any other place you may find yourself are part of the battlefield, and as a soldier I shall act accordingly.

    I do not care why you signed that union card. I only know that you pay dues to a communist organization which conducts treasonous works against my Republic daily – and so your union hall and your work-sites are part of the battlefield, and as a soldier I shall act accordingly.

    I do not care that you only voted for the traitor because you are elderly/disabled or otherwise dependent upon government largess. Are you so ignorant and/or disinterested that you could not see through their propaganda, to the fact that your sustenance was assured either way? What have you gained now that the public housing areas you live in, and the public facilities you depend on are part of the battlefield? Though I am a soldier, I can afford you little protection, for you have placed yourselves on the battlefield.

    I know that all of these places and all of these people are part of the battlefield, not just because I am a soldier, and have experienced a few battlefields in my day; but also because our President declares that even our own homes are on the battlefield, whether we wish them to be or not, and I have no choice but to believe him; it’s not just that the NDAA passed – a battlefield is not defined by law; it’s the profound build-up of martial power and resources across my once-great nation which tells me a battle is being prepared here. Over two billion rounds of ammunition procured by DHS and its sub-agencies in the past 18 months, plus machine guns in the tens of thousands, armored vehicles, combat aircraft, drones, and other implements of war being staged throughout our nation, our home – how do you explain that except as the preparation for battle?

    I will fight not because I desire it, but because I cannot justify any other course of action – when the enemy attacks, you must fight – you must kill or you will die.

    I smell you, my enemy; I can feel the ambush you have laid for me and my true countrymen, all about like a sticky spider’s web, yet we will not back down; and though you will kill some of us, you will not get us all before we have finished with you.

    I stand here, ready, on the eve of battle, and I ask God why I have been brough to the threshold of this battlefield, about to be thrust in, when I though my soldiering days were through; and I am reminded that there is by His decree, a Time to Kill, as well as a Time to Die… who am I to question why?
    Last edited by Timone; 04-02-2020 at 08:30 AM.

  9. #309
    A Great Name Timone's Avatar
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    My family poops big. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won't flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you.

    Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out "hey, can you get me the poop knife"?

    I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife.

    Fast forward to 22. It's been a day or two between poops and I'm over at my friend's house. My friend was the local dealer and always had 'guests' over, because you can't buy weed without sitting on your ass and sampling it for an hour. I excuse myself and lay a gigantic turd. I look down and see that it's a sideways one, so I crack the door and call out for my friend. He arrives and I ask him for his poop knife.

    "My what?"

    Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please.

    "Wtf is a poop knife?"

    Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it.

    He starts giggling. Then laughing. Then lots of people start laughing. It turns out, the music stopped and everyone heard my pleas through the door. It also turns out that none of them had poop knives, it was just my fucked up family with their fucked up bowels. FML.

    I told this to my wife last night, who was amused and horrified at the same time. It turns out that she did not know what a poop knife was and had been using the old rusty knife hanging in the utility closet as a basic utility knife. Thankfully she didn't cook with it, but used it to open Amazon boxes.

    She will be getting her own utility knife now.

    [Edit: Common question - Why was this not in the bathroom instead of the laundry room? Answer. We only had one poop knife, and the laundry room was central to all three bathrooms. I have no idea why we didn't have three poop knives. All I know is that we didn't. We had the one. Possibly because my father was notoriously cheap about the weirdest things. So yes, we shared our poop knife.]

  10. #310
    The poop knife story cracks me up every time.

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