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Thread: Random copypasta

  1. #1
    A Great Name Beau Bender's Avatar
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    Random copypasta

    The thing is, I work hard as hell everyday, don't really like my job but have pride in everything I do. Even if I cleaned toilets for a living, you better believe that I would try to be the best toilet cleaner in the world. I support a family on one income, and my wife will stay at home till the kid is at least 3. I sleep 6 hours a day, every day. I get up an hour earlier than I have to to make breakfast for my family. I know how to shake hands - look into a mans eyes and pump once with a firm grip. I don't show my teeth when I smile, it's a sign of weakness. I know how to apologize. I know how to look at a situation from another perspective. I am a son, a husband, and a father, therefore I respect women; deal with it. Memories don't haunt me, nor do I dwell on them - they can destroy you.
    ,, wow !!

  2. #2
    A Great Name Beau Bender's Avatar
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    Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? My mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well I am not one of those people I am 6'4" 245lbs and I exercise every day. I would love to see you say something like to my mother in front of me. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someones face. Just my thought.What do you think. Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. I on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone I know.
    ,, wow !!

  3. #3
    Langlois Insider
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    Still need that Bukdow forum.

    I'm reppin' Jesus Christ and Conservative views....



    Quick piece by VINNY which was a logo style of his. VINNY also did two letter throw up's by the name of FI 2.



    GO WHITE!

  4. #4
    A Great Name Beau Bender's Avatar
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    LITERALLY LAUGHING TO DEATH
    Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

    Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

    When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to:

    M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A.

    along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

    This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.
    Last edited by Beau Bender; 01-14-2012 at 06:48 PM.
    ,, wow !!

  5. #5
    DADZIG's Avatar
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    That's the kind of thing that's pretty funny as it stands, but I can see network execs trying to turn it into a sitcom and ruining it.

    See: Geico cavemen
    Find a new slant.

  6. #6
    A Great Name Beau Bender's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glan View Post
    That's the kind of thing that's pretty funny as it stands, but I can see network execs trying to turn it into a sitcom and ruining it.

    See: Geico cavemen
    Bad feeling we'll be seeing an NBC show based off DadBoner soon.

    Actually, that could be awesome.
    Last edited by Beau Bender; 01-14-2012 at 08:22 PM.
    ,, wow !!

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by ZBeau View Post
    Bad feeling we'll be seeing an NBC show based off DadBoner soon.

    Actually, that could be awesome.
    As long as they get that Bruce guy who was the original.

  8. #8
    LMAO @ The M&M story - I had tears! That's fucking gold! I'm going to email it to the boys.
    Rise like Lions after slumber,
    In unvanquishable number -
    Shake your chains to earth like dew
    Which in sleep had fallen on you -
    Ye are many - they are few.

  9. #9
    A Great Name Beau Bender's Avatar
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    Today was a day that will forever be the climax of my life, at this point, nothing could get any better. That little cunt is going to get it, him and his fucking family. They are all going to die. ALL OF THEM, ESPECIALLY THE FUCKING CHILDREN.
    You see, it started one day, and I was at the fresh young age of 12, the first day I ever saw him. He looked friendly at first, but little did I know that that exact day I had met the devil himself, just in a childish form. He asked for my name, and I said my name, which is Caleb. And almost as soon as he heard my name, he yelled out (let me tell you that this was inside of a school) "Hey, everybody! It's Caleb the Cunt-Sucker!" Everyone laughed, and laughed, and laughed. Even the teachers were laughing. It was degrading, it was down right.....damning. It continued thought the rest of my years in school, and I even went as far as almost committing suicide.
    After I got out of school, I got a job at a local garage. It wasn't the cleanest, or well-paying of jobs, but it got me threw. I had to stay at home, I hardly had any money, let alone have money to pay for a house. One day, I was driving back home, and I saw him. And not only did he have a perfect house and a perfect car, he had a family. A picture-perfect family. I snapped that day, and when I got home, I started planning his downfall.
    Now, today was the day, the day that I would for fill my dream of killing all of them. I will be back later to tell you the result. And I will finally tell the brutal death of those fucking maggots.
    ,, wow !!

  10. #10
    DADZIG's Avatar
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    threw
    Find a new slant.

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