For all you under 18 guys lurking this blog-you know you are there, despite the NSFW tag-here is your lesson for the day. I got laid more in this car when I was 16-17 than in any other car I owned since. Looks crappy right? May be. So why was it that I couldn’t keep girls out of it, and they were always willing whenever the opportunity presented itself?

Here is the first secret: It was COMFORTABLE. Girls like being COMFORTABLE.

It had huge bench seats front and back. The front seat was a 60/40 split, the passenger had their own controls. The back seat was a cave-you could stack many, many bodies back there.
It had air conditioning. The air conditioning worked. This was a car made at a time when factory air was rarely seen. The A/C blew so cold that you could hang meat in there.
It rode nice. Look at it. It’s a boat. No matter how bad the roads were the ride was awesome; the engine and drive train were flawless. It was like being in a new Cadillac.

Here is the second secret: They ALWAYS got theirs too. I was a curious teen, and horny as fuck. I was not big on beating my meat, but I was fascinated by the female body and how it worked for years before I drove this car. Before there was an internet it was hard to study the sex organs of humans, so I ripped off playboy magazines, old porn rags, I read encyclopedias, dictionaries, and school texts. I knew what each part of a girl’s crotch did, where it was, and how they were connected. I was not afraid to stick my face in it either, and that was fair because they stuck their face in mine. I made sure that every time a girl got in that car she had a chance to have an orgasm, even if I did not. They liked that. A LOT.

Here is the third secret: I was always prepared. I always had condoms. Didn’t always use them. But they were in the car. That was always her choice. There was a roll of paper towels. Wet naps. Pillows. No female wants to have to walk around for hours with your slime rubbing all over her labia and panties. Young girls don’t want to risk their mother finding out when the laundry is being done. Always be ready and have clean up items.

Here is the last, and most important secret: I NEVER EVER TALKED ABOUT WHAT WE DID WITH ANYONE BUT THE GIRL INVOLVED AND ONLY WHEN SHE BROUGHT IT UP. To this day girls feel like they have a reputation to protect. They have Dads who will kill someone if they find out their daughter has been having sex. They have friends that aren’t friends who want mud to smear around. DON’T BE THE DOUCHE THAT BRAGS. Once the word is out that you talk you will not get laid again until after college.


Get it and you will get it, guaranteed.