@DadBoner

[Vinny]

I was disappointed in the lack of BL Margs references.

[Glenn]

@DadBoner
Wanna give a spesh Mom's Day, "wassup" to all the thick & natural single mothers out there in the USA. Respectfully consensual of course.

[Glenn]

The "Seger De Mayo" stuff is pretty good, too.

[Vinny]

http://flint.craigslist.org/tix/5104088154.html

4th of July Bash. Heat of A Thousand Suns. - $15 (Grand Blanc)








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saturday 2015-07-04
number available: 500
venue: Parkin' lot of my pad.

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Listen up. Name's Karl Welzein. But on the party scene you've probs heard of me as "Captain Karl" or "K-Money" if you live in a more urban area. And I've got a special "invite only" to my private Captain Karl's (featuring Dave*) 4th of July Bonkers Bash With The Heat of A Thousand Suns.

Guess Crazy Cooter's mom is dyin' in the hospital so he can't host his regular 4th throw down. It's ok 'cause sometimes Cooter's place can get terrifying and violence has been know to occur, not that I can't handle myself on the streets, bad boy style. I'm never one to start a brawl, but I'll finish it. Real quick. Hope Cooter's mom gets better and all that crap as well. But that's not what's important right now.

The private Captain Karl's (featuring Dave*) 4th of July Bonkers Bash With The Heat of A Thousand Suns is where YOU need to be on the 4th if you're not some corncob.

Festivities include: grillin', hard booze bong competish, piles of 'works, randy babes with healthy chest beefers, I'll probs take my shirt off sometimes for the gals, several kiddie pools for a possible carnal one on one rendezvous, might make a keg tub of my world famous Bratato Salad if there's time, yelling, and rock jams provided by WLZN on a premium boom box. Also, might try to rent a monster truck. Man.

Saturday. July 4th. My parkin' lot. 1pm 'til the sun comes up. Don't wanna put my address down 'cause of some outstanding bills and the government could see it, but just drive around the Grand Blanc area for about 10 minutes and you'll probably see the line and hear the noize crankin'.

If YOU miss this celebraish of a lifetime, you might as well just suck a tailpipe.

$15 admission fee for guys. If you gotta bring your kid it's like 5 bucks for them as long as they're chill and don't act like a crybaby. Babes are just $1 if you wear a 'kini top and show off your American beauties, respectfully. VIP tix available for inside usage of our private john, $47, tp included. Bottle and can booze or pop appreciated. BYOB.

Captain Karl's (featuring Dave*) 4th of July Bonkers Bash With The Heat of A Thousand Suns. Let's do this. For the USA.

*Dave made me put that 'cause he's forkin' over some bread to pay for supplies. So stupid. He's lucky to be involved. I'm the main man around town. No one shows up to see Dave. They show up to get nasty nasty with K-Money comin' correct, you guys.

• do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers

[Glenn]

That's nice every once in a while.

[DrRay11]

No hope. Lovin' the bold flavors of a cold steel barrel.

Oh no, you guys.

[Glenn]

Beer keg I bet, lolz!

[Timone]

Everyone was sentenced to death when they were born.

Reminds me of a lonely_dad tweet.

[DrRay11]

I guess comedy central picked up a pilot for an animated dadboner? Probably going to be awful, you guys

[Glenn]

Probably, yes, but definitely better than live action.