Valenti & Foster: A dramatization

**Big Swami** · 07-02-2009 12:56 PM

I'd like to do one on Fithian and Caputo, but I think I would need to do Caputo's parts in crayon.

**MoTown** · 07-02-2009 01:00 PM

LOL. They might actually be worse than Valenti and Foster. Unless you're talking baseball, Caputo doesn't understand a thing about any of the other sports.

**Big Swami** · 07-02-2009 01:15 PM

Pat Caputo is a singular talent among radio broadcasters. His level of verbal disability is impressive.

1. Pat Caputo cannot verbalize many things he's thinking.
2. Once Pat Caputo knows the words he wants to say, he frequently can't work his mouth to say them.
3. Once Pat Caputo begins to say something, he frequently fails to finish saying it in one way or another
4. Once Pat Caputo has said what he wanted to say, he often fails to realize that it didn't make any grammatical sense
5. Once Pat Caputo has spoken a complete sentence, he often fails to speak clearly enough to be understood by most of his audience
6. Once Pat Caputo has managed to get a sentence out of his mouth and into his listeners' ears, it is filled with words he made up himself
7. Once Pat Caputo has managed to communicate a sentence of real words, he frequently mangles common phrases and cliches a la Ringo Starr
8. Once Pat Caputo has managed to communicate in a grammatically and textually correct way, he's in blatant conflict with either his own statements or commonly known facts
9. Once Pat Caputo has managed to say anything that makes sense and is correct, it frequently has nothing to do with sports
10. Once Pat Caputo has said something about sports that makes sense and is correct, he still sounds like he's got half a salami in his mouth

**Zip Goshboots** · 07-02-2009 01:29 PM

Gold.

Swami, whatever weird diet you are on this week--please tell me.

**DrRay11** · 07-02-2009 01:37 PM

lol. Agreed!

**Wilfredo Ledezma** · 07-02-2009 02:02 PM

Originally Posted by Big Swami

Pat Caputo is a singular talent among radio broadcasters. His level of verbal disability is impressive.

1. Pat Caputo cannot verbalize many things he's thinking.
2. Once Pat Caputo knows the words he wants to say, he frequently can't work his mouth to say them.
3. Once Pat Caputo begins to say something, he frequently fails to finish saying it in one way or another
4. Once Pat Caputo has said what he wanted to say, he often fails to realize that it didn't make any grammatical sense
5. Once Pat Caputo has spoken a complete sentence, he often fails to speak clearly enough to be understood by most of his audience
6. Once Pat Caputo has managed to get a sentence out of his mouth and into his listeners' ears, it is filled with words he made up himself
7. Once Pat Caputo has managed to communicate a sentence of real words, he frequently mangles common phrases and cliches a la Ringo Starr
8. Once Pat Caputo has managed to communicate in a grammatically and textually correct way, he's in blatant conflict with either his own statements or commonly known facts
9. Once Pat Caputo has managed to say anything that makes sense and is correct, it frequently has nothing to do with sports
10. Once Pat Caputo has said something about sports that makes sense and is correct, he still sounds like he's got half a salami in his mouth

LMFAO

This gets my post of the year nod.

**MikeMyers** · 07-02-2009 08:03 PM

This thread is classic. I laughed out loud with the Valenti/Foster lines. I used to listen to the show a little but I haven't in a while. Foster always tries to act like he's the lady's man and yes he loves Buffalo Wild Wings.