Things that are "Dad type"

[DennyMcLain]

Waking up still drunk, forgetting you have a child to feed.

Definitely, NOT dad-type

[Zip Goshboots]

That's OK Hermy--only about 3-4% of the people who have children actually SHOULD have children, especially when they have them. Yup, nothing like feeling all adult and shit and start popping babies out at the ripe old mature age of 20 or so. Good idea!

[Big Swami]

http://whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com/

[DE]

- Watching the hockey game upstairs because three five year old girls are watching Noggin in the living room.

You guys really need to publish a Dad guy handbook. I sure could use one.

[Tahoe]

I didn't even know you had lil ones.

[DE]

Well Zip would think I'm an idiot, but I became an instant Dad guy and now have a five year old.

[Tahoe]

Ah, gotcha. Good luck. I've seen some step-families do quite well...and some blood families not so good. Just enjoy it. Kids are great.

[DE]

Thanks. I'm a rookie of course, but I'm also enjoying it a lot. She's already a huge Red Wing fan so I feel I've done something right.

[Zip Goshboots]

Well Zip would think I'm an idiot, but I became an instant Dad guy and now have a five year old.

Well now, let's slow down a bit there, Tarzan.

First of all, having done EVERYTHING wrong in my life WRT marriage and kids, I consider my self an expert on how NOT to do it. One of my first rules is don't do it, if you are a guy, before the age of 30. I don't give a fuck how "mature" you think you are, but why would you spend the first 20 years or so living with your parents, and then want to jump right into the MOST restrictive covenant on Earf (well, besides credit agreements)? A man should enjoy his 20's, and the paradox is generally that if a guy is mature enough to be married that early, he's mature enough to know it's NOT the right decision. Too many things going on, too much growing up to do, and too much childish bullshit in a man's soul to contemplate beng responsible for the extremely important responsibility of wives and kids. And fucking A--have soem goddamm fun with your life. Educate yourself, start a career, live with a roomie for awhile, live ALONE for awhile, TRAVEL--and don't fucking think that on a planet with 7 billion people--your soulmate lives down the street and always has. If you ain't ready to give 110% of yourself to a family--then don't do it. Especially the young guys coming up right now. No more job at the factory that will last 30 years. No more hiding in the same cubicle for 30 years. You're gonna have to be flixible and movable for the first decade of your career--keep life simple till you figure some shit out, man! And don't tell me that you have JACK SHIT figured out until you're 30. Not in an age when statistics tell you you're gonna live to be about 80 with no problem. And don't believe in romantic, passionate love--we are the ONLY fucks in the world who buy into that shit and it's no coincidence then that most of our kids have multiple daddies, mommies, and basically raise themselves while most of the parents in this country are busy sticking their heads further and further up their asses (sure do need that $300,000 house and the 1500.00 a month in car payments all supported by that $50,000 salary, eh, Warren Buffet Jr?), and/or run off with the next piece of ass or hard cock and start the cycle all over again--immediately.

Secondly, I admire step parents. Good ones are hard to come by. Especially because tons of kids who need step parents have needed them all their lives, since it's now way cool to have a couple kids before your senior prom, or pick up some floozie at "Asscracks 'N Cleavage Singles Bar" and knock her up three weeks into the "relationship," and think things are going to be OK living in an apartment where you can hear your upstairs neighbor taking a piss at two in the morning after banging some floozie HE met at Asscracks 'N Cleavage, and trying to make ends meet on a couple of $9.00 an hour jobs--then deciding that her calling her ex-boyfreind (and by "ex" I mean he dumped her the night you met her at Asscracks 'N Cleavage) is too much and you run out on her, and start the cycle all over again--immediately.

So no, I don't think you are an idiot--unless you are, of course, not yet 30 and don't have a pretty good start for yourself in life and have had OODLES of fun. In fact, you're probably a realist. In this day and age, good luck finding a chick without one or two mistakes in the bag already. Hell, I didn't want to be a step-parent, so I went out and found someone with no kids--but mine were too much for her and she's gonzo. Just do it right, and be extra good to that kid, cuz chances are he or she really needs you and shouldn't have to go through that twice.

[DE]

I had my fiancee read that post.

I'm over 35, have already been married once (no kids), have traveled quite a bit (and lived overseas) and lived a pretty wild single life for a good number of years. I agree with everything you wrote Zip. I do feel like now I am ready when before there was no way.