Bill Simmons Sucks Donkey Balls

[Zekyl]

From his mailbag today:

Besides, I have been pushing for real athletes to embrace a "heel" character for years. Why not? Bill Laimbeer made a career out of it. He wasn't out there to make friends. He didn't play by the rules. His opponents hated him. Well, do you remember watching him? I sure do. He was great. He made the league more fun, even as you wished for one of his ACLs to split like an atom.

[Laxation]

This one saddens me

Q: I would like to add an idea to the great things you have suggested to improve NBA officiating: an NBA ombudsman, someone affiliated with the league, but who could sort through complaints (both internal and external) without an agenda, and criticize the league when it needs to be criticized. Le Anne Schreiber did such a great job for ESPN, I would love to see the NBA hire someone to do the same thing.
-- Mike Rensink, San Diego

SG: Sorry; you have a better chance of seeing David Stern dress for the 2010 draft like The Gimp from "Pulp Fiction."

[Zekyl]

I wish they would do that. I actually think it would improve their image, even though Stern would say otherwise. I'd rather see the leagues admit their faults because at least then we know that they understand where they need to improve.

[Fool]

Ombudsmen don't do dick. They placate the masses.

[Glenn]

I'm surprised that this hasn't been posted yet, or am I?

From yesterday...

Please don't give him any more acid. Thank you.

To Joe Dumars. In the span of 14 months, he hired the wrong coach (Michael Curry), overpaid the wrong bench guys (Kwame Brown and Amir Johnson), traded the wrong star too early (Billups, who would have netted more than just an expiring cap figure near the deadline), extended the wrong star too early (Rip Hamilton), overrated the wrong young guy (Rodney Stuckey, who might not even be a point guard), threw away the wrong season (2008-09, when the East was more wide open than we thought), then made it up to Pistons fans by saying, "I just spent $94 million on two guys who will never make an All-Star team!" Shouldn't you be worried when your top five guys (Ben Gordon, Charlie Villanueva, Hamilton, Stuckey and Prince) are all perimeter guys who don't rebound, play inside or make other guys better?

I'll hang up and listen.

[Fool]

It's true dude, he did not say that.

[Zekyl]

#2 of his 3 favorite "sneaky" offseason deals:

Arron Afflalo, trade (Denver): Now this is how you run a team. You let someone else overpay Dahntay Jones (Indiana, $11 million, four years) and replace him with a short-term guy with the same skills (defense and 3-point shooting) for one-third of the price. I might dump Morey for the Wark (Denver's Mark Warkentien) as my role-model GM soon.

[Laxation]

29. Joe Dumars
I was rooting for Detroit to bring Charlie Villanueva and Ben Gordon off the bench this season, just so I could make the "any time you can pay $94 million and lock up your cap space for two bench guys, you gotta do it" joke. But the Pistons foiled me by starting Villanueva. Still, they dumped Chauncey Billups and effectively tanked last season for cap flexibility; now that flexibility is gone, only they look like a mortal lock for the lottery. (You realize their "big men" are The Artist Formely Known As Ben Wallace, Kwame Brown, Villanueva and Chris Wilcox, right?) And this was a good plan … how? Some day you'll have to explain this whole "Joe Dumars is a good GM" thing to me.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2...3&sportCat=nba

[MoTown]

I saw that. I can't stand that guy.

[D's Nuts]

You have to admit, he is kind of right.......