The Favorite Quotes thread

[Timone]

And how hilarious was it when that blonde dude, mocking Kelly, was like, "Uh oh Johnny, looks like she's just saying no"?

That's seriously one of my favorite quotes in TV history.

[MoTown]

Did you see how quickly he got Screech hooked up with a couple bitches? Best. Wingman. Ever.

[Timone]

And how hilarious was it when that blonde dude, mocking Kelly, was like, "Uh oh Johnny, looks like she's just saying no"?

That's seriously one of my favorite quotes in TV history.

Fuckin' NBC took the clip off youtube. I was going to download it and reupload it with Requiem for a Tower song playing in the background and everything.

[Timone]

"I used to have a drug problem, now I make enough money. " - David Lee Roth

"I used to jog, but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass." - David Lee Roth

"Hey, your girlfriend was partying with us backstage before the show, and she had a message for ya: 'mmfp mmf umf fmff mmm.'" - David Lee Roth

""The violence and everything and Eddie Van Halen constantly calling me out, screaming into a camera lens from three thousand, two hundred and twenty six miles away, 'I'm gonna kick you in your nuts! You better wear a cup. You better watch your balls.' This causes me to ask, because we're talking to a very articulate magazine here, with an articulate audience readership, and an entirely articulate interviewer here. What kind of balls is he imagining? What kind of testicles are haunting Eddie Van Halen's sleep? Are these giant turbo-prop monster truck nards that smash Chevies and Buicks and are now rolling over his front gate right now up there at 5150 and crushing his designer sports car and the family pet as it squeals a short, brief, glorious warning? Or are these highly trained, super-mobile, small, but highly maneuverable Belgian assault nards that even now are swarming under the gates and are about to sail into the nerve center of the gangland stronghold! The mind fairly reels, sire." - David Lee Roth

"People ask me, 'Mr Roth, what do you think of Van Halen now?' I tell them, 'I'm not in Van Halen anymore so I don't care'. Then they ask me, 'What do you think of Valerie Bertinelli?' I tell them, 'Same answer." - David Lee Roth

[Glenn]

On a warm summers evenin on a train bound for nowhere,
I met up with the gambler; we were both too tired to sleep.
So we took turns a starin out the window at the darkness
til boredom overtook us, and he began to speak.

He said, son, Ive made a life out of readin peoples faces,
And knowin what their cards were by the way they held their eyes.
So if you dont mind my sayin, I can see youre out of aces.
For a taste of your whiskey Ill give you some advice.

So I handed him my bottle and he drank down my last swallow.
Then he bummed a cigarette and asked me for a light.
And the night got deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression.
Said, if youre gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right

[Fool]

""The violence and everything and Eddie Van Halen constantly calling me out, screaming into a camera lens from three thousand, two hundred and twenty six miles away, 'I'm gonna kick you in your nuts! You better wear a cup. You better watch your balls.' This causes me to ask, because we're talking to a very articulate magazine here, with an articulate audience readership, and an entirely articulate interviewer here. What kind of balls is he imagining? What kind of testicles are haunting Eddie Van Halen's sleep? Are these giant turbo-prop monster truck nards that smash Chevies and Buicks and are now rolling over his front gate right now up there at 5150 and crushing his designer sports car and the family pet as it squeals a short, brief, glorious warning? Or are these highly trained, super-mobile, small, but highly maneuverable Belgian assault nards that even now are swarming under the gates and are about to sail into the nerve center of the gangland stronghold! The mind fairly reels, sire." - David Lee Roth

That is now my favorite quote and I'm going to memorize it.

[Timone]

I love Dave. I hope he lives forever.

"I'm a family man. I personally started 3 or 4 this year."

"Squirt that water bottle at me again , and I’m gonna come down there and fuck your girlfriend, pal!"

"Old Van Halen, when I was in it-classic Van Halen-made you wanna drink, dance and screw, right? New Van Halen encourages you to drink milk, drive a Nissan and have a relationship".

"Ya know how many angry militant feminist lesbians it take to screw in a light bulb?........ Two - one to change the bulb and one to suck my dick."

"I may not go down in history...... but I WILL go down on your sister…"

[Glenn]

He sounds sort of like Goshboots.

[Timone]

"The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train."

[Timone]

"I think that if rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it." - Bobby Knight