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Thread: New regular feature: WTFDetroit's Evil Pistons Mailbag

  1. #11
    Glenn's Avatar
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    With Evil Keith Langlois


    Monday, December 17, 2007

    Ryan (Grand Rapids): Does the Nazr Mohammed trade make it more or less likely that Chris Webber joins the Pistons?

    Evil Keith Langlois: Well, Ryan, my well-considered answer to you is as follows: "who gives a shit?" Are you really that worked up about the shifting of one mediocre center for another? Because if you are, I want to take you to Disney World and look at the magical innocence and wonder in your eyes as you meet Donald Duck up close for the very first time. One thing is for certain now: the current situation with the sudden abundance of foreigners is unacceptable. I hear one of them is even Argentinian, and if that doesn't chill your very blood I don't know what will.

    Read the entire evil Pistons Mailbag here.
    Find a new slant.

  2. #12
    CLEVELAND'S FINEST Zekyl's Avatar
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    So Sheed killed a hobo with his bare hands, huh? Any specific reason for that, Evil Keith?
    _

  3. #13
    Big Swami's Avatar
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    Evil Keith responds: "Just to watch him die."

  4. #14
    Glenn's Avatar
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    With Evil Keith Langlois


    Thursday, December 20, 2007

    Renee (Troy): I’m wondering why Charlotte didn’t ask for more than they got in the trade that sent Nazr Mohammed to the Bobcats.

    Evil Keith Langlois: Hi again, Renee. The reason Charlotte didn't ask for more in the Nazr Mohammed trade is the same reason that the Dutch East India Company was able to buy the island of Manhattan from Indians for a basket of shiny beads and dried fish worth about 24 bucks: the Indians, God bless them, had no idea what they were doing. Neither does Michael Jordan, who makes these decisions for the Charlotte Bobcats. Whenever someone has some bloated contract to unload, they're always happy to ring up Mike, because he's always down for eating someone else's costs. I hope this helps. I'm here to help you. P.S. With all these letters you're writing me, I'm a little uncomfortable, so I'm filing a restraining order against you. I hope this doesn't mean we can't be friends anymore.

    Read the entire evil Pistons Mailbag here.
    Find a new slant.

  5. #15
    Glenn's Avatar
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    Swami is killing it.

    At least this means that some team like the Chicago Bulls don't have him on their roster, because fuck those guys, seriously.
    Find a new slant.

  6. #16
    CLEVELAND'S FINEST Zekyl's Avatar
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    So I was reading the new evil mailbag, then in the middle of reading it I had to assist someone with an e-mail issue and without even thinking I got all snarky (Evil Langlois style), hahaha.
    _

  7. #17
    Glenn's Avatar
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    With Evil Keith Langlois


    Monday, December 24, 2007

    Ryan (Grand Rapids): ESPN is reporting that Chris Webber could be back by the first week of January. What trade is Joe Dumars working on now? He could send Primoz Brezec to Seattle for a trade exception and do the same with Flip Murray to Denver and Walter Herrmann to Golden State. Then Detroit would have three spots – one for Webber, one for Gary Payton and one for Ronald Dupree.

    Evil Keith Langlois: Thanks for your question, Ryan. I'm gonna say this once and for all so all you worthless shitheads can take note: STOP E-MAILING ME ABOUT CHRIS WEBBER. You're like fucking Rain Man, you people. Here's why you in particular have some kind of brain damage: First of all, and I can't believe I have to address this bullshit again, ARE YOU WATCHING ANY MIAMI GAMES THIS YEAR? Why in the shit would anyone think that obtaining a gigantic, slow, old, flat-footed, heavy center is any help at all? Second, have you not noticed how Gary Payton destroys every single team he's ever been on with his shitty attitude? He's like the Hanta virus in the playoffs, dude. Third, Ronald Dupree sucks. That's why he never played. Fourth, Brezec and Herrmann are good players, and worth keeping. Brezec in particular is fucking metal with that headband of his, plus he hustles like there's free soup for every rebound.

    Read the entire evil Pistons Mailbag here.
    Find a new slant.

  8. #18
    Glenn's Avatar
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    Never disappointing.

    I lol'd multiple times.

    Great work, Swam.
    Find a new slant.

  9. #19
    A Great Name Timone's Avatar
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    Evil Keith is a beast.

    Click the image to view the full version
    The image above has been resized. Click on it to see the full version.
    Last edited by Glenn; 12-26-2007 at 04:07 PM.

  10. #20
    Big Swami's Avatar
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    Aw man, my link didn't make the transition to HTML, so I didn't get to show CindyKate any love for coining the term "Dwyane Wades."

    EDIT: oops, that was Mailman. Sorry Karl. Nuff luv and respeck SAYYAH
    Last edited by Big Swami; 12-26-2007 at 03:21 PM.

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