Story time...

[Tahoe]

London lived in Nairobi and Nairobi lived in London...

[Timone]

His heart, though, was always in Lansing...

[Tahoe]

(this guy, who has yet to be named, WILL go overseas at some point damnit)

[WTFchris]

while his head was buried in Smithsonian magazines...

[MOLA1]

During his funeral, all that was left was that head, wrapped up in his beloved Smithsonians; so naturally it was a closed casket ceremony, but we'll get to that later on and at this point, discuss his trip to London, where his Nairobi resided.

[Tahoe]

There we go, none of that happily ever after bullshit in this story

His decision was whether to call Nairobi to let her know he was coming, or show up unannounced and surprise her with roses and his special gift

[MOLA1]

His gift was his dick in a box so he went with both, but not without a very uncomfortable flight as well as a trip to customs at Heathrow airport where he landed with a smile on his face, a bag of clothes he carried on the flight and his dick in a box.

[DennyMcLain]

...but his dick was the removable kind, very much like the song. During a stopover back in the states, in New Jersey, it was taken from him, while in the midst of ordering pancakes and cornbread from the local quickie-stop...

[DennyMcLain]

... upon questioning several individuals outside the quickie-stop, about whether or not they've seen a man holding a black box adorned with a Velvet Elvis lid, one quips "Yeah, looked like that Benny Blano fuck from the Bronx"

[DrRay11]

To this he replied, "Follow the rules, motherfucker," and shot the man in the face.