WTF CONFESSIONAL

[Zekyl]

I have webbed toes.

Me too, actually.

[Zekyl]

I waited an extra day to make it official with the girl I'm now seeing so I could go to a party with a bunch of my friends and tried to get some random girl one last time.

Almost worked too, had the girl going home with me and everything until two random guys jacked a girl in the face at out in front of the party house then jumped my buddy when he tried to stick up for her. It turned into a long night with no happy ending

[Zekyl]

I showed up to this one long after the fun was had.

[Zip Goshboots]

I waited an extra day to make it official with the girl I'm now seeing so I could go to a party with a bunch of my friends and tried to get some random girl one last time.

Almost worked too, had the girl going home with me and everything until two random guys jacked a girl in the face at out in front of the party house then jumped my buddy when he tried to stick up for her. It turned into a long night with no happy ending

Make WHAT official?
Dude, you really need a break from women.

[Zip Goshboots]

I had an hot professor in college, she was 35 and hot looking and would throw out sometimes a line or two that she was insane in her college days. We talked all the time, not just about History but about everything. We would even hang out. The last time I saw her she hugged me so damn close and rubbed my back so much I started getting wood and had to pull away.

This is somewhere between a confession and telling you all one of the biggest regrets in my life (that being pulling away and not moving closer).

That is fucking A regrettable! Here's the thing: Women who "hang out" with you when they are an older anything (teacher, cop, nun, axe murderer) want to fuck the sheet out of you. I spent my developmental years (17-25) banging older chicks. They don't play around. If an older chick gives you even a sniff, her pussy is already wet.

[Timone]

Almost worked too, had the girl going home with me and everything until two random guys jacked a girl in the face at out in front of the party house then jumped my buddy when he tried to stick up for her. It turned into a long night with no happy ending

He got gang raped didn't he?

[Big Swami]

I have webbed fingers. No shit. My fingers look really long unless you see them spread out, and then I look like the fuckin' creature from the black lagoon. Pretty much killed my music career.

[Zip Goshboots]

"Don't be afraid! I'm only here to explain quantum physics to you all!"

[DE]

That is fucking A regrettable! Here's the thing: Women who "hang out" with you when they are an older anything (teacher, cop, nun, axe murderer) want to fuck the sheet out of you. I spent my developmental years (17-25) banging older chicks. They don't play around. If an older chick gives you even a sniff, her pussy is already wet.

I wince in pain every time I think about this. I was 20 year old moron. I just couldn't believe I had a shot and didn't make a move. Obviously if I knew then what I know now I'd have been all over it.

[Timone]

Shit, if you don't want her then I'll have her.

...Fuck, I just realized this was 15 years ago!