Give each other the worst advice ever.

[DennyMcLain]

I have a problem: I have a neighbor who's pretty damn hot. We have "taco and margaita" night once in a while (I supply the tacos, she makes the drinks). Well, each time has ended with a full body massage compliments of yours truly, and a little tongue (use your imagination on that one). Problem is, she has a boyfriend. Some douche who seems to be nothing special. Drives a Camry. Looks and sounds like a dope. But, she seems to like him enough.


Waitaminute...what the fuck am I doing??? I'm gonna go kick his ass, and if she doesn't appreciate my tough love, I'm gonna bang that bitch sideways and scream "Say 'harder' you filthy whore".

Thanks, Mola. You're a True American®

[Zip Goshboots]

Denny:
That wouldn't be a silver Camry with plastic bags over three windows, would it?

[Glenn]

Denny:
That wouldn't be a silver Camry with plastic bags over three windows, would it?

LMAO

[Uncle Mxy]

For anyone with woman problems, my advice is to whip out your dick and say "Wanna fuck?" to the nearest woman around you. The 1% of the time you get a positive response will be worth the 99% of the time that the cops are called. Honest.

[Big Swami]

You know what makes a woman like you? Laughter. And what makes a woman laugh more than being kicked in the butt?

[Uncle Mxy]

Have you kicked your woman today?
It's more than just a question -- it's an answer!

[Zip Goshboots]

For anyone with woman problems, my advice is to whip out your dick and say "Wanna fuck?" to the nearest woman around you. The 1% of the time you get a positive response will be worth the 99% of the time that the cops are called. Honest.

This is sheer genius.
And, the positive response is way more than 1%.

[MoTown]

Advice to women:

Breast implants solve everything. If you're tired of getting passed up for promotions, breast implants are perfect. And trust me, bigger is always better. If you still keep getting passed up, go bigger. Nothing says respect my work ethics like triple E boobs in a tanktop. Flirt with your boss and shove those implants in his/her face.

Also, breast implants are great for kids of all ages. If you're worried your daughter won't make the freshman cheer squad - IMPLANTS! Once again, bigger is better. If you're worried your daughter might struggle in 7th grade math: IMPLANTS! The earlier you get them, the better. That just means that she'll be on the fast track for the rest of her life. I wouldn't be surprised to see your daughter as the next CEO of Microsoft, Pfizer, GM, etc.

Breast implants glow with respect.

[Big Swami]

Furthermore, implants are very much like real breasts! Yeah, you can see the plastic wrinkling around the edges and stuff, but it doesn't matter. Every guy wants his girl to look like she fell out of a David Lee Roth video circa 1985. Because if there's one thing I know, it's that women don't crave stability or security, and going out of your way to attract one indiscriminate pump-and-dump after another is really what you want to find yourself doing when you're 37.

[Glenn]

If you have kids and they are trying to figure out which college to attend, send a PM to bukdow and I'm sure he'll give you some cogent advice.