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Thread: Give each other the worst advice ever.

  1. #1

    Give each other the worst advice ever.

    There are a lot of places you can go online for helpful suggestions to dealing with problems. Even more places in the real community. Some people are trained in dealing with the problems of others, other people just seem to have a knack for it.

    But some people give bad advice. Either out of stupidity or a misunderstanding of the initial problem, or perhaps they are too wrapped up in their own stuff and they give you the advice that they wish they could give themselves.

    Why don't we be the latter group for a bit. Lets keep the problems short and sweet, fictional or non-fictional, and then give out the worst advice we can think of.

    This should be interesting and yes i stole the idea from another forum.

  2. #2
    Just met this chick who is head over heels for a guy she's only known for a month and she just found out the dude is cheating on her. I can totally go over her house and bang the living fuck out of her this very moment. (This is non-fictional)

    Should I go?
    The story is true but the question is not I don't need advice in this situation.
    STEW BEEF!

  3. #3
    keep thinking up more threads like this. ;o)

    j/k- i don't have any problems but i have plenty of bad advice. here's some:

    -when interviewing for a job, the best way to win them over is to flirt with the person interviewing you- male or female. make lots of sexual references while winking at them. then turn it up a notch and start licking your lips while pinching your nipples. this sort of flattery makes you a cinch to get the job.

  4. #4
    fool:

    my advice is to not only go over to her house but to also bring a video camera, a couple of friends, and a box of condoms. she's heartbroken and vunerable right now.

    every female in that situation is looking for an opportunity to immediately have an emotionally detached gangbang. you and your friends would present her with the perfect situation by posting a video of said gangbang on the internet.

    no need to be nice or try to sweet talk her or connect emotionally either- girls hate that. just show up with your friends and the camera, and tell her your intentions by throwing the condoms at her. if that doesn't get her motor running, then chances are she's actually a lesbian.
    Last edited by Higherwarrior; 09-10-2007 at 12:53 AM.

  5. #5
    This is dangerously close to the legendary "Aks Mola Some Shit: Advice and Counseling Inside" thread.

    Alas, that thread bore intelligent, highly uselful tips one may use on a daily basis to achieve a life of happiness and self-fulfillment, whereas this thread should be one of the opposite approach, no?

    Bukdow's Three Front Wars: How can he better himself through the Power of Christ

    Answer: God sez "Fuck a Bukdow. Ain't wasting no time pushing my Son on that sh*t-licker.... Go Blue!!".

    Oh well. I suppose Plan B would be that dull steak knife mommy uses to chop up your Pedigree and beans with.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Fool
    Just met this chick who is head over heels for a guy she's only known for a month and she just found out the dude is cheating on her. I can totally go over her house and bang the living fuck out of her this very moment. (This is non-fictional)

    Should I go?
    The story is true but the question is not I don't need advice in this situation.
    Blog as you hump... this should be good.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fool
    Just met this chick who is head over heels for a guy she's only known for a month and she just found out the dude is cheating on her. I can totally go over her house and bang the living fuck out of her this very moment. (This is non-fictional)

    Should I go?
    The story is true but the question is not I don't need advice in this situation.
    You know what a really romantic gesture is? Pack everything you own into a U-Haul, drive it up to her apartment, and start honking the horn. When she comes out, ask her to marry you, if she doesn't have a problem with taking care of your kids when they run away from their real mom's house.

    Secret cogent advice: I'm not really sure that someone you've only known for a month can "cheat" on you. I don't think anyone would actually consider their relationship exclusive after one month.

  8. #8
    I think I have a problem:

    Over the last three weeks, I've managed to knock up two strippers that work at the same club that I attend every night. The club owner and his goons are out looking for me because, well hell, I just put two of his best bitches out of commission. They don't know where I live (yet) because I've stayed away from the club since they've found out. However, I really miss going to that club because I feel at home in the midst of those hoes.

    What should I do?

    p.s. I think one or both of the stippers had the clap.

    Quote Originally Posted by WTFchris
    MoTown is right.

  9. #9
    i can't imagine this entreprenuer would be opposed to some counseling sessions with you or meet with a mediator....?

    i would invite him to be on the maurey povich show......or perhaps you just invite him to a meeting yourself- preferably somewhere remote and away from public areas. the last thing you want is for other people to be around as you'll want privacy and some quality time to talk it out.

    i would recommend meeting him at an abandoned warehouse or industrial parkway. that way it's just you, him and his friends and nobody else to bother you. i'm sure he's a reasonable guy and would appreciate the invitation. don't tell anyone you know about the meeting though- you wouldn't want to betray this man's trust as it should be a private meeting.

    offer him a sincere apology but nothing else- if he refuses to accept it then that's his problem. at least you tried and you can safely leave that meeting knowing you did the right thing.

    if he happens to get at all hostile i would threaten to hire a lawyer or to get the police and/or media involved. that then puts you totally in control of the situation and forces him into a position he can't afford to be in. then he has no other choice but to accept your apology- there's no other alternative action for him to take once you've forced his hand and put him under pressure.

    guys like him buckle under that sort of pressure and he'll surely accept your apology, as the last thing he wants is to have that sort of hassle on his hands. plus he will feel embarassed in front of his employees (or 'goons' as you call them....i'm not sure what that term refers to but anyway) if he doesn't accept your apology and the last thing he wants to do is lose the respect of these 'goons'. so again, he will have to accept your apology in front of his friends or he'll risk losing them to another employer. who would want to work for a guy who wouldn't accept an apology from a nice guy like yourself?

    doing all of this in front of his friends only strengthens your position and gives you the upper hand. take my advice and you're golden.
    Last edited by Higherwarrior; 09-10-2007 at 11:56 AM.

  10. #10
    Thanks HW. I think that will work.


    (This thread is great - someone needs to get this thread going!)

    Quote Originally Posted by WTFchris
    MoTown is right.

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