HipDigIt PicksIt

[The Syndicate]

WTFDetroit presents HipDigIt PicksIt
With HipDigIt

September 28, 2007

So George W. forms a complete sentence, monkeys fall out of trees, the blind squirrel finds the occasional acorn and 'Ole Hip plunges just below the "Mendoza Line" (to pillage from the fat headed Chris Berman). IT HAPPENS!! Purdon't and Indy blow cozy leads to shove me off the plank and render me 3-4-1 for the week. For those following along at home that is 18-12-2 on the year. The way I look at it, I've got 'em right where I want them and I've got this negative piece of business off the books. This is a marathon, not a stinkin' sprint. Thank God. Moving forward…

Read the entire article here.

[Glenn]

Coach Leavitt has these guys perched for national recognition and I think he fully expects to win this thing outright. The +7.5 is the gravy.
TAKE USF + 7.5

Nice call, Hip.

[The Syndicate]

2,000+ words* of pure, unadulterated degenerative gambling advice.

WTFDetroit presents HipDigIt PicksIt
With HipDigIt

October 4, 2007

Okay class, today, as I look back on last weekend’s exercise in futility, I keep thinking of the word "patient." You are all literary souls, as evidenced by the fact that you are reading this hideous column, so you know that it can mean two things. 1.) A patient is anyone receiving care or treatment. 2.) To be "patient" is to endure trying circumstances. How about I cop to all of the above? I "kiss sis'" and go 4-4 on the week which brings me to a very respectable 22-16-2 or 58% "Against the Spread", thus far. However, I've been getting "dinged" by showing my largess in laying points with heavy favorites only to have them fall asleep at the wheel due to the tedium induced by comatose opponents. Note Pur-don't jumping out to a 23 point lead against the Fainting Irish and OSU doing same to Minny-ha-ha and both not finishing. This shit makes for very trying circumstances, and if it continues, I will be a patient soon at the Caro State Home, where the only thing that I will have that reminds me of football will be the helmet on my dome as I stand out by the fence. Ahem, moving forward!

Read the entire article here.

*Sorry, DrTre11

[The Syndicate]

WTFDetroit presents HipDigIt PicksIt
With HipDigIt


October 12, 2007

Last week, Stanford beat USC. Got it! Nine of ten of the Top 10 have losses by the sixth week of the season. Uh-huh! So, I'm over here with hard earned "zord" in hand trying to pick this shit? I go 3-5 on the week, which puts me at a very ho-hum 25-21-2 on the year ATS. If this continues, the three treatment centers whose telephone numbers I have at the ready next to the "blower" will be getting a call to see if they accept my medical plan. I may be down, but I'm certainly not out. My beloved USF had a let down against a guy named Schnellenberger in Boca Raton last Saturday? MSU can't tackle me on the way to the sled, even with a case of Patron Tequila as I walk out of All American Liquors. On top of all that, I don't make the play that I loved: Illinois over Cheezitz, because those bastards have "fondued" me more times than I can count. Oh, the woulda'-coulda'- shouldas' make my heart skip. Like an old degenerate compadre once said, "...that's why we do it!!" Pressing on…

Read the entire article here.

[The Syndicate]

WTFDetroit presents HipDigIt PicksIt
With HipDigIt

October 19, 2007

The four hour cruise down I-95 from Daytona Beach Shores to Miami is as coma-inducing as the Mike DeBored playbook. Take the same ride at night and it can be treacherous. My wife has volunteered to be my co-pilot on this desperate mission. Destination? The Miami Serpentarium. The task at hand? See if we can cajole a highly paid professional to extract this snake that has crawled way up my asshole, my "brown eye" (the one that stinks, not the one that winks). My less than smashing 3-5 ATS last week has me in near crisis mode. Desperation calls for desperate measures, no? While on the season I'm at 28-26-2 ATS, above the demarcation line, no one is going to confuse with me Amarillo Slim anytime soon. This is the right call. I'm certain of it. It only hurts for a little while.

Read the entire article here.

[The Syndicate]

WTFDetroit presents HipDigIt PicksIt
With HipDigIt

October 26, 2007

The outpatient service was fine at the Miami Serpentarium, even if the results propelled me into the win column by only a one game margin for the week. Little victories, no? The experience was fairly painless, other than the fact that their version of "Nurse Ratchett" seemed fairly non-plussed upon my presenting my Cigna Health Card for payment due. Some formality about her being skeptical a "Snake Removal from Rectum" would fall under "Procedures Covered" on my benefit plan. My argument that this was an occupational hazard, me being a degenerate gambler, doing the dog paddle trepidaciously close to my own personal Niagara Falls of "loserville" fell upon deaf ears. Details, details. Hey, if nothing else, we have proved to be a "results-driven" society and my 4-3-1 week was a resounding triumph after 3 weeks of slogging along at room temperature. I'll call the operation a success. The snake is dead. The tote board now has "Old Hip" at 32-29-3 ATS thus far. Any interpretation of that makes me a winner. Let's do this thing.

Read the entire article here.

[Glenn]

WTFDetroit presents HipDigIt PicksIt
With HipDigIt

November 2, 2007

Did I once say that I'm not much of a trend player? Sweet Creepin' Jesus, I've become a human contradiction. The trend? Going 4-4, or thereabouts, every weekend and getting "juiced" to death. Never have there been wiser words muttered than, "the 11-10 gets you in the end." So, while I am 36-33-2 ATS to date, this is a losing proposition. The 7-1 start (and I warned you) now looks, in hindsight, to be "fool’s gold" or administering the "hook" into the corner of "Ole' Hips" yapper. What infuriates me the most is that I fly against my sage advice from earlier in the year of "I'm on those Patriots until "Arnold" pries my cold fingers from them with the jaws of life." WTF happened to that? "Ole' Hip" gets too smart for his own good and reads all this shit into the scenario: the Redskins have a good ""D" (huh?), "looking ahead to the Colts”... blah x3. Shut the fuck up and lay the $$$$ down on the Pats. Then, of course, Southwestern Mississippi decided to turn into a football power and beat the burgeoning FB power, Kentucky Mildcats, at their place. This cost the Cats a small fortune in revenue because it will keep them from going to a bowl game someone may have heard of. Of course, this miserable weekend was topped off with more frosting for the legacy cake of Brett Favre. At like "Zero-Dark Thirty" in the morning, he finds that no-name from Kalamazoo down the sideline, beating that loud mouth Dre Bly, who makes $117M a year. The saving grace is, we got to ogle his hot wife awhile longer. The downside? "Hip" is rendered 4-4 instead of 5-3. Fuck me with a stick!!

Read the entire article here.

[Glenn]

WHERE'S HIPDIGIT?

[Glenn]

Wonder how ol' HipDigIt is faring betting on his Sparty this year

The Spartans, who became the first team to go 0-for-5 against the Las Vegas point spread this season, threw for only 11 yards and scored only a field goal in an uninspiring second half.

Oh...

[Timone]

I used to think sometimes that Zip and HipDigIt were the same person.