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A lady walks into a vet's office a places a lifeless duck on the examining table. The vet looks at the duck and says to the lady, "Your duck is dead. You can take it home or we can take care of it for you."
A hot blond walks into a bar and gets hit on several times. She laughs off all of the attempts to get her into bed, gets drunk, and receives a ride home from a good friend.
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^ Dad guy. Putting thread back on track.
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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
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Why'd the chicken cross the road?
Because his wife had been brutally murdered in a fox attack and he was forced to care for his chicks on his own. He had heard there was food on the other side of that road but those turned out to be empty promises. The chicks, once again, would go hungry.
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A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.
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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park.
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Why did the black man buy 3 boxes of condoms?
Because he practices safe sex and they were on sale.