The WTF Translator

Choose a quote from any thread on WTF and post a translation here

"Anyone know where Rocks Pads game or if its on the tube tonight?"

Translation:

"Would any of you fine citizens know where I could watch the Colorado Rockies versus the San Diego Drunken Friars play a friendly game of Baseball Tonight?

Thanks in Advance,

Chevy Tahoe"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tahoe

so now at least i know the pad rocks will air even though it not on the guide that show whats on for 2nite but i'm gonna see if its worth my time maybe it will be or maybe knot but for now I know at least. :)

thanks wiz for the info and fraserbrn for interpilating what i sed.

Translation:

I now know that the Padres and Rockies game will be on TV even if it isnt in the guide because its a last minute programming change that wouldnt show up in the guide that shows what is on the television for that given night. I still do not know if I'll watch because it may not be worth my time, but thanks to the wonderful folks here at wtfdetroit.com I know i have the option.

My Thanks go out to The Wiz for the game previe and to Fraserburn for (ok Interpilating? Seriously???) Interpretating exactly what I failed to type in a manner befitting my age

;)

I sense a new schtick being born: The WTF Translator

Go with it, Fraserburn, go with it.

That girl looks like my penis.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fool

That girl looks like my penis.

Translation: I'm so lonely.

http://www.artificialindustries.com/...steve_park.jpg

I liked that guy better on Mad About You. But now he does commercials for razor blades. Kind of eerie actually.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fool

That girl looks like my penis.

Translation:

"I'm attracted to my penis"

Quote:

Originally Posted by bukdow

If UM is the "Harvard of the MW", what is Northwestern? Since Northwestern is the highest ranked school in the Big Ten, would they be the Oxford of the MW? The Sorbonne of the MW?

And why would I feel insecure? I actually have (2) degrees from a Big Ten school, that school being MSU, and I am damn proud of them. Shit, you don`t know the first thing about lipid metabolism nor do you have a clue about the mechanics of the fall of Apartheid SA. All you do is sit home, collect government checks and fantasize about blue and yellow clad boys.

One more thing, my cousin went to UM for her undergrad and Law degree. After she was done she had this to say, "I have seen enough Blue to last me a lifetime". She now lives in Texas and roots for the Horns. Zippy, you are just a clueless dumbass.

TRANSLATION:
I don't like Michigan because I applied and couldn't get in. My vengeance consists of nomadically traveling from message board to message board proclaiming the superiority of Michigan State. I also have gas.

I know some big words and I have a thesaurus.

I'm also related to someone who went to Michigan, which makes my connection to UM tenuous, at best.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bukdow

Nice avatar. It is nice to see I have had such an effect on you goofballs in such a short period of time. This isn`t your father`s wtfdetroit board. You UM boot-licks and ball-sniffers (Zippy) will be held accountable for your lack of character while I am here.

Translation:

"I like your picture. I'm pleased to see that my appearance here has been a pleasure to you all, even though I think you're all nutz. You University of Michigan shoe shiners and teabaggers, this means you Gee Golly Goshboots will be watched very closely by me....PERSONALLY because I believe you're all lacking in certain areas. HOWEVER, You're all lucky I'm here to educate you...especially in the fine art of being Green"

Quote:

Originally Posted by b-diddy

i heard a rumor that giffman is so cool that his nickname in highschool was "the Coge". probably just some crazy rumor, though.

Sarcasm Level = Medium

Translation: "I didnt hear a rumour, but I think Giffman is so uncool that his nickname in highschool (and still is) "The Giffinator" and he used to pretend he was a robot. I repeat this was not a rumour this is fact"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glenn

TRANSLATION:
I don't like Michigan because I applied and couldn't get in. My vengeance consists of nomadically traveling from message board to message board proclaiming the superiority of Michigan State. I also have gas.

I know some big words and I have a thesaurus.

I'm also related to someone who went to Michigan, which makes my connection to UM tenuous, at best.

I just saw this. Thats funny.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tahoe

I just saw this. Thats funny.

TRANSLATION:

Cogent.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glenn

TRANSLATION:

I'm also related to someone who went to Michigan, which makes my connection to UM tenuous, at best.

Was that a shot at me?

It should have been.

(Read post #8 in this thread, last paragraph in the quote)

http://espn.go.com/media/pg2/2006/03...to/735_350.jpg

Could be bukky-d, actually.

Are those MSU degrees I see under each armpit?

No, those would be in his head.

LOL

giffman

Translation: Well endowed handsome dude who is secretly banging your woman

Quote:

Originally Posted by WTFMICH

http://espn.go.com/media/pg2/2006/03...to/735_350.jpg

TRANSLATION:

Would you like fries with that?

Quote:

Originally Posted by WTFchris

Stuckey seems to have that slippery smooth body

Translation:

No translation needed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bukdow

Nothing special. I started playing little league football when I was 10 and played through high school. However, I was better than average. I played varsity football from 9th grade on then a Class B team, now Division 3, and was a pretty good long jumper, my best jump was 20' 8" and did go to the State meet. Nothing special, but nothing to sneeze at either.

Now, onto the UM fans. You didn`t go to the school, you have never played organized football yet you are UM football fans. I`m sure it means nothing to people like you, but in reality, thats about as spineless and bandwagon as it gets. Truly, you people are THE watermark for clueless hanger-onners.

Translation:

I was decent, not great but decent. I really wish you'd stop teasing me and start giving me credit for these various athletic achievements. Hopefully I have a modicum of respect now

Now about you Tenuous Walverine Superfans you should be cheering for a Division 3 Local school, but not the Adrian Bulldogs because they have a tenuous connection to UM (Their coach played there in 74) The Kalamazoo Hornets now thats where its at!

http://www.paulsizer.com/images_site/hornet9b.jpg

but hey if you want to be frontrunners and become a fan of a school because you grew up watching them on TV thats just poserific. You're all a bunch of sheep, SHEEP I TELL YOU

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glenn

new thread?

TRANSLATION: Stop talking about this here, you'll kill this once-popular thread

:mccosky:

Quote:

Nothing's changed
Please don't get overwrought by the ESPN Daily Dime report that the Pistons haven't ruled out re-signing Chris Webber. That's what we've been reporting all along. IF something, a long-term injury or a trade, happens to one of the three veteran big men, Joe Dumars would consider bringing Webber back. But right now, that's a big if. Dumars has been resolute on this: He does not want four veteran bigs. He wants to start building a younger, more athletic frontcourt; he wants Amir Johnson and Jason Maxiell to play. It is my understanding that Dumars and Webber have not spoken since before the season.

TRANSLATION:
You people can't seriously think that the national media knows more about this team and the NBA than I do. I'll tell you when something important is going to happen, until you hear from me, everything you hear is a lie.

ADDENDUM TO ABOVE

"It's not easy being me. I have bloggers and internet know-it-alls sending me a lot of email calling me an 'idiot'. You people have no idea how rough my job is. I really don't get the respect I deserve, I mean, I have a blog too, but mine is informative and useful."

You forgot to put the tears. TEARS, DAMN YOU!

Quote:

Originally Posted by MoTown

I work from home now, so the morning commute no longer exists.

TRANSLATION:
I sleep in as late as I want, and pretty much play video games and masterbate all day.

LOL.

You forgot to add that I get paid to do it.

(ttyl, I just downloaded some new porn. Be back in an hour.)

MoTown, PM me. I got a site for you and you don't even need to download.

Share with the group you stingey bastard!

Seriously. We're family.

Family porn?
Not my speed.

http://www.youporn.com

Seriously, it was that easy. You got the youtube of porn right there.

thank you

Quote:

I knew this guys daughter knows a lot of football and basketball players

Translation:

Quote:

Trust me, this guy's daughter gets around. I would know.

Quote:

Does anyone think it would be benefical to send Stuckey to Ft. Wayne to let him build up some confidence?

Translation:

Quote:

I've got a new idea of how to get Murray more playing time.

:mccosky:

Quote:

Now, given all that, does it sound to you like Webber's return is imminent? Not at all. Could it happen? Yes. But does it really matter in the grand scheme of things? It's not like bringing Webber back is going to take the Pistons to another level.

TRANSLATION: Fuck you, Rob Parker.

Fuck, I hate to say it, but Parker's right.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MoTown

I didn't explain my point very well. My point is that the Shaq trade was horrible and stupid. It doesn't make sense with that team. But they weren't going to win anything with the team they had. They tried to win with that style and continued to lose. They needed to change something up. So they added a "dominant" post player in hopes that could possibly work. Even if there was a chance of it working, they had to try. It didn't, just like most of us predicted.

My point is that they wouldn't win with the old style, but they had to try something different. This wasn't it. It was stupid, but at least they tried to change it instead of trying the same broken formula every year.

TRANSLATION:

I love Shaq.

jk, Mo