...but as he reached the halfway mark of his descent of the wooden staircase, he came to the sudden halt of a major allergic reaction, his sinuses swelling to the point of asphyxiation. Only one thing could be the culprit: rich mahogany.
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...but as he reached the halfway mark of his descent of the wooden staircase, he came to the sudden halt of a major allergic reaction, his sinuses swelling to the point of asphyxiation. Only one thing could be the culprit: rich mahogany.
He suddenly realized that under all those Smithsonian and Harper's magazines was a wooden floor. Somehow he hadn't caught the rich mahogany scent, probably due to the overpowering smell of the many leatherbound books scattered throughout the room.
Stumbling to the end of the staicase, Missing spotted the dick in a box, and knew what he had to do -- blow the dick deeply down his throat to keep his airways open. But, as he swallowed...
He heard the footsteps of Nairobi, his beautiful table dancing, non-exclusive girlfriend.
Could it really be? He thought. We are supposed to be married today. In London! At that point, his already blurred vision began to turn to hallucinations.
Dick sharted.
Hallucinations of his dick in a box being attached to the wiry, pale 98 pound body of Bukdow. But as he reflex-gagged, he bit, followed by a Spartan-like yelp of pain... waitaminute....?
(continued due to lack of interest combined with sudden board-wide bukdow manlove)Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyMcLain
..."whis sip mo aahuphimaphum" (translation: this is no hallucination!"). Standing before him, holding a meat whistle in one hand and a camcorder in another, stood Bukdow. "Sausage-muncher", he chortled. "I'm going to send this to your fiancee, and you'll NEVER get married -- right after I..."
Suddenly Dick awoke from his 18 month slumber. He thought to himself, "I wonder what happened to Nairobi? I've been asleep in my own shit for 18 months. She must have left me!"
Figuring that he must start anew, Dick went to the airport to board a plane.
As he stood in line at the ticket counter, some Walmart Wolverine almost bumped into him. Dick pummeled the mental midget where he stood and his life was changed forever: Dantonio gave him a scholarship.