-
Quote:
http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincp...oiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots
June 5, 2007
I’ve noticed that this site lacks something that is almost fundamental to daily readers of any website, newspaper, or cereal box, and today I am offering a remedy to that situation. I honestly don’t know how the regular visitors here have managed to get by without a horoscope. You may think that a morning coffee and smoke, and a quick glance to see if Dr. Tre has again posted something preposterous is all you need before you head out to work, but how do you know that the stars are aligned in such a way as to keep you from stepping on some burning bag of shit left on your porch by a mischievous kid in your neighborhood?
Without further adieu, we now present an even newer feature to the great WTFDetroit.com: The Occasional Horoscope as presented by Zip Goshboots.
Read the complete June 5, 2007 "Constitutional"
-
Make sure you guys read this one, it's funny.
(Not that the others aren't)
-
This is late, and it's my fault.
Quote:
http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincp...oiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots
June 6, 2007
The thing that sets us men apart from lower life forms like alligators, donkeys, and women is our refusal to grow up.
For instance, I can’t listen to a commercial for the “Hummer” without snickering and thinking I’ll go down to the local dealer and get a blow job; I can’t see, hear, or think about the word “Boner” without cracking up; and if I see the word “Shat”, you’ll think I just heard a good joke. I almost died laughing last week when my buddy Paul the Plumber said that “I almost shat myself when I saw the price of a Hummer, but the car was so cool it gave me a boner”. If he had either burped or farted (or both) at the end of that sentence, I wouldn’t be writing this, and my wife would be frantically digging through the insurance papers, planning a vacation to Jamaica, and telling her boyfriend he could move in after about a two week grace period.
Read the complete June 6, 2007 "Constitutional"
-
My brother-in-law loves the word "shat," and has since begun referring to his turds as William Shatner.
-
Quote:
[
http://wtfdetroit.com/forums/admincp...oiletpaper.jpg WTFDetroit’s Morning Constitutional
With Zip Goshboots
June 11, 2007
I’m Larry King, and Zip’s Not…
I thought the original “Manchurian Candidate” with Frank Sinatra was way better than the remake with Denzel Washington. Frank could act circles around Denzel. Everyone keeps giving all this credit to Denzel, and I just don’t get it. He even won an Oscar for a performance that I’ve been told he “cringed at, and nearly cut my package off in repentance for giving”. Besides, you want a great actor? Try Ricardo Montalban.
Read the complete June 11, 2007 "Constitutional"
-
-
-
great read this morning Zip. I hate the grociery store and you are dead on. You missed the one shopper I hate the most.
The ones who wander around aimlessley up and down the aisle looking for something, or just stand there unable to make up their mind, while their cart blocks the entire aisle. They drive their carts like a pair of 90 year old's on a Sunday afternoon with no place to be.
One observation I have made at grociery stores is that the cashier is the most important factor in getting out of that wretched place. You can pick the smallest line and stand there forever because the stupid cashier is dirt slow. That brings me to another shopper...the one who can't read sale signs and questions every price when the item is rung up.
-
Nice read.
There is also the "lady in the cereal aisle reading all of the cereal names back to the entire family at home on her cell phone".
-