Things that are good...

It looks like I'll be able to do some reading AND get some Tan Maintenance in today.

I'm practicing for the Northwest Omaha Division 9 Sun Tan championships. I'm in the "all natural" league, where no tanning by artificial means is allowed. It's all sun, baby, or you don't get in. And to make it a bit harder, everyone is required to use tanning oils, gels, or lotions with an SPF rating range of 4 through 8. The good ones (of which I consider myself to be) start off with the 8 and work our way down to 4.
We've had a lot of good sun so far this spring, which is when I like to get the majority of my tanning in because the summers here are SOOOO hot. Can't really lay out in the sun in July when it's 98, with 90% humidity.
Now you may be wondering: "Zip, do you sunbathe in the nude?"--and the answer is no. I like the tan line, and the competition judges do measure the contrast of your untanned skin to you tanned skin. And yes, I've seen judges have to hold a guy's scrotum or check a chick's taint because they thought it was so cool to sunbathe nude. One guy had warts and only one ball--imagine how embarrassed he was. He lost and disappeared from the Omaha Tanning Circuit--probably killed himself in shame. Too bad, he had like 6 kids with 5 different women. I'm sure they miss the money you can make in professional tanning (although this isn't a professional league in Omaha, you can get endorsements and things like a free t-shirt or a free lunch at local restaurants like Taco Bell or McDonald's if the owner knows you and you choose no more than 2 items off the dollar menu--so yeah, there ARE some benefits to being a tanning celebrity here).

Brett Michaels getting clotheslined by a set piece.

I see that the guitarist took "Unskinny Bop" too literally.

60 year old dudes on stage = cool...

Beer, eating food, Tigers hopefully winning.

wtf?? Did Rodney explode or something?

He's a complete douche tonight.

Those pricks tied it up though.

Managing to get in a round of Golf today...even with 5 fuckin crews.

I need to get some of you youngsters out there and show you how its done.

Pop Tarts and green tea = full of win.