FTW!Quote:
Originally Posted by MoTown
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FTW!Quote:
Originally Posted by MoTown
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Enjoy life, there's plenty of time to be dead.
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My heart is with the Pistons, but my money is on Rick Carlisle and the Pacers.
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Now we have the vegetarian Hot Pocket, for those of us who don't want to eat meat, but would still like diarrhea.
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Originally Posted by Mehmet Okur
"I don't need this aggravation" - Johnny Dakota
I saw the Johnny Dakota episode was on this morning and instantly thought of LDB. (No homo)
That dude is the epitome of cool. I'm flattered.
I know! And the commercial sucked once they finally ended up shooting it. I bet kids actually started doing drugs after they saw the commercial. If Johnny Dakota was in it, the world would no longer have drugs.
And how hilarious was it when that blonde dude, mocking Kelly, was like, "Uh oh Johnny, looks like she's just saying no"?
That's seriously one of my favorite quotes in TV history.
Did you see how quickly he got Screech hooked up with a couple bitches? Best. Wingman. Ever.
Fuckin' NBC took the clip off youtube. I was going to download it and reupload it with Requiem for a Tower song playing in the background and everything.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lord Douche Baggins
"I used to have a drug problem, now I make enough money. " - David Lee Roth
"I used to jog, but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass." - David Lee Roth
"Hey, your girlfriend was partying with us backstage before the show, and she had a message for ya: 'mmfp mmf umf fmff mmm.'" - David Lee Roth
""The violence and everything and Eddie Van Halen constantly calling me out, screaming into a camera lens from three thousand, two hundred and twenty six miles away, 'I'm gonna kick you in your nuts! You better wear a cup. You better watch your balls.' This causes me to ask, because we're talking to a very articulate magazine here, with an articulate audience readership, and an entirely articulate interviewer here. What kind of balls is he imagining? What kind of testicles are haunting Eddie Van Halen's sleep? Are these giant turbo-prop monster truck nards that smash Chevies and Buicks and are now rolling over his front gate right now up there at 5150 and crushing his designer sports car and the family pet as it squeals a short, brief, glorious warning? Or are these highly trained, super-mobile, small, but highly maneuverable Belgian assault nards that even now are swarming under the gates and are about to sail into the nerve center of the gangland stronghold! The mind fairly reels, sire." - David Lee Roth
"People ask me, 'Mr Roth, what do you think of Van Halen now?' I tell them, 'I'm not in Van Halen anymore so I don't care'. Then they ask me, 'What do you think of Valerie Bertinelli?' I tell them, 'Same answer." - David Lee Roth
On a warm summers evenin on a train bound for nowhere,
I met up with the gambler; we were both too tired to sleep.
So we took turns a starin out the window at the darkness
til boredom overtook us, and he began to speak.
He said, son, Ive made a life out of readin peoples faces,
And knowin what their cards were by the way they held their eyes.
So if you dont mind my sayin, I can see youre out of aces.
For a taste of your whiskey Ill give you some advice.
So I handed him my bottle and he drank down my last swallow.
Then he bummed a cigarette and asked me for a light.
And the night got deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression.
Said, if youre gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right
That is now my favorite quote and I'm going to memorize it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lord Douche Baggins
I love Dave. I hope he lives forever.
"I'm a family man. I personally started 3 or 4 this year."
"Squirt that water bottle at me again , and I’m gonna come down there and fuck your girlfriend, pal!"
"Old Van Halen, when I was in it-classic Van Halen-made you wanna drink, dance and screw, right? New Van Halen encourages you to drink milk, drive a Nissan and have a relationship".
"Ya know how many angry militant feminist lesbians it take to screw in a light bulb?........ Two - one to change the bulb and one to suck my dick."
"I may not go down in history...... but I WILL go down on your sister…"
He sounds sort of like Goshboots.
"The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train."
"I think that if rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it." - Bobby Knight
"No matter how beautiful a girl is, she still shits." - Dave Mustaine
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Originally Posted by David Lee Roth
"What good is a deal if no one is making any money?" -David Mamet
Mamet owns.
"Everybody wants money! That's why they call it money!" -David Mamet
From Pulp Fiction:
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Lance: Hey, whattya think about Trudi? She ain't got a boyfriend. You wanna hang out, get high?
Vincent: Which one's Trudi? The one with all the shit in her face?
Lance: No, that's Jody. That's my wife.
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Jules: You know the shows on TV?
Vincent: I don't watch TV.
Jules: Yeah, but, you are aware that there's an invention called television, and on this invention they show shows, right?
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This watch was on you daddy's wrist when he was shot down over Hanoi. He was captured and put in a Vietnamese prison camp. He knew that if the gooks ever saw the watch, they'd confiscate it--take it away. The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any slope's gonna put their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright. So, he hid it, in one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years he wore this watch . . . up his ass. Then, he died of dysentery, he give me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.
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Night of the fight, you might feel a slight sting. That's pride fucking with you. Fuck pride! Pride only hurts . . . it never helps. You fight through that shit 'cause a year from now, when you kickin' it in the Caribbean, you gonna say to yourself, "Marsellus Wallace was right."
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What does Marsellus Wallace look like?
Brett: What?
Jules Winnfield: What country you from?!
Brett: Wh-what?
Jules Winnfield: What ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in What?
Brett: What?
Jules Winnfield: English, mother-fucker! Do you speak it?!
Brett: Yes.
Jules Winnfield: Then you know what I'm saying?!
Brett: Yes.
Jules Winnfield: Describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like!
Brett: What?
Jules Winnfield: Say "what" again! Say "what" again! I dare you, I double dare you, mother-fucker! Say "what" one more Goddamn time!
Brett: He's black.
Jules Winnfield: Go on!
Brett: He's bald.
Jules Winnfield: Does he look like a bitch?!
Brett: What? Oww!
Jules Winnfield: Does he look like a bitch?!
Brett: No!
Jules Winnfield: Then why you trying to fuck him like a bitch, Brett?
Were you expecting something else?Quote:
Jules Winnfield: Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals.
Vincent Vega: Yeah but bacon tastes good. Pork chops taste good.
Jules Winnfield: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy mother-fuckers. Pigs sleep and root in shit. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eating nothing that ain't got sense enough to disregard his own feces.
Vincent Vega: How 'bout a dog? Dog eats his own feces.
Jules Winnfield: I don't eat dog either.
Vincent Vega: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?
Jules Winnfield: I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy, but they definitely dirty. But, dog's got personality; personality goes a long way.
Vincent Vega: Ahh, so by that rational, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?
Jules Winnfield: Well, we'd have to be talking one charming mother-fucking pig.
And here it is - the quote to end all quotes. I could once say this shit word for word and did so ONCE before I smacked somewcunt upside the head:
AMEN! Fuck them motherfuckers.Quote:
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the Valley of Darkness; for he is truly his brother's keeper, and the finder of lost children. And, I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers! And, you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!
See, for me the best part has always been and will always be "I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers."
I also kinda like this, and on repeated viewings I consider every option of what my favourite quote of all time could actually mean. I've never heard QT explain it though, so maybe all the time I wasted on it was for nothing.
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Maybe it means: you're the evil man, and I'm the righteous man, and Mr. 9mm here, he's the Shepard protecting my righteous ass in the Valley of Darkness. Or, it could mean: you're the righteous man, and I'm the Shepard, and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that, but that shit ain't the truth. The truth is: you're the weak, and I am the tyranny of evil men. But, I'm tryin', Ringo, I'm trying real hard to be the Shepard.
^ Awesomeness
I can't even think of another movie I could quote from.
That's how much love I've got for Pulp Fiction.
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Originally Posted by Bono
That's cause Bono believes he's God.
From Swami's Boner Party link...
and placed in the official thread, how ironicQuote:
Originally Posted by Megan Fox on Farts
"Who gives a fuck!" - DennyMcLain
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Originally Posted by Gaffigan
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Originally Posted by Jack Handy
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep...
not screaming like the passengers in his car.
A computer once beat me at chess...
but was no match for me at kick boxing
"If you're an underdog, mentally disabled, physically disabled, if you don't fit in, if you're not as pretty as the others, you can still be a hero."
http://www.cinefilo.es/wp/wp-content...guttenberg.jpg
Chills
"When in doubt, knock 'em out." - Big Vinny (1943-1979)
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“I bought a Corvette, some cocaine and the rest I spent on foolishness.” — George Jones on how he spent a $100K bonus he received in the early 1970s.
