But Mr Dick Missing was undetterred and wanted to see his beloved Nairobi and would not give up
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But Mr Dick Missing was undetterred and wanted to see his beloved Nairobi and would not give up
Nairobi however had been kidnapped and taken captive by a couple of Walmart Wolverines.
(I don't think you guys understood my post. Dick Missing shot the random guy in the face. Oh well, That is all)
After Dick Missing shot that random guy in the face, it made him think back to when he was a child and that horrible accident where he went through his uncles Corn Harvester, where he lost his arm, part of his leg and his dick, and the unfortunate surgery where they mistakenly reattached his arm to his leg socket and his leg to his arm socket and they just gave him his dick in a box.
Missing recollected the feeling of seeing his own phallic parts in a box. He knew that they would never be operable again, and felt the wicked sting of a tear roll down his cheek. He looked at the gun and his hand, and thought, long and hard.
lol
...but, with the cold steel of the gun barrell pressing hard against his temple, he suddenly realized a power long forgotten -- the kinetic ability he shares with dick in a box. Through his mental ability, he can make it come alive!
And though it was a very tiny dick in a somewhat small box, this was still an ability that he thought could get him laid.
I decided to collect what we had, with a few grammatical corrections and additions to make it flow a bit better:
There was this guy who went to Michigan State and earned two degrees in History and Something Else. The man decided that, being rich, powerful, and extremely intelligent, was not enough. He decided to visit either London or Nairobi. His name was Dick. Dick Missing.
London and Nairobi were the names of his two of his friends; London, the cocaine dealer and Nairobi, his beautiful, table-dancing, non-exclusive girlfriend. London lived in Nairobi and Nairobi lived in London. His heart, however, was always in Lansing while his head was buried in Smithsonian magazines. During his funeral, all that was left was that head, wrapped up in his beloved Smithsonians; so, naturally, it was a closed casket ceremony. But enough of that for now -- we'll get to that later on. At this point, we shall discuss his trip to London, where his Nairobi resided.
His decision was whether to call Nairobi to let her know he was coming, or show up unannounced and surprise her with roses and his special gift. His gift was his dick in a box. So, he went with both, but not without a very uncomfortable flight as well as a trip to customs. At Heathrow airport, where he landed with a smile on his face, was a bag of clothes he carried on the flight and his dick in a box.
But, his dick was the removable kind, very much like the song. During a stopover back in the states, in New Jersey, it was taken from him while in the midst of ordering pancakes and cornbread from the local quickie-stop. Upon questioning several individuals outside the quickie-stop about whether or not they've seen a man holding a black box adorned with a Velvet Elvis lid, one quips "Yeah, looked like that Benny Blano fuck from the Bronx." To this, Dick replied, “Follow the rules, motherfucker,” and shot the man in the face.
After Dick Missing shot that random guy in the face, it made him think back to when he was a child and that horrible accident; that horrible accident where he went through his uncle’s corn harvester, losing his arm, part of his leg, and his dick. During the unfortunate emergency surgery, they mistakenly reattached his arm to his leg socket and his leg to his arm socket. After this, they gave up and they just gave him his dick in a box.
Now, Missing recollected the feeling of seeing his own phallic parts in a box. He knew that they would never be operable again, and felt the wicked sting of a tear roll down his cheek. He looked at the gun and his hand, and thought, long and hard. But, with the cold steel of the gun barrel pressing hard against his temple, he suddenly realized a power long forgotten -- the kinetic ability he shares with his dick in a box. Through his mental ability, he can make it—his dick, his penis, his being--come alive!
And, though it was a very tiny dick in a somewhat small box, this was still an ability that he thought could get him laid. So, he put Nairobi at the forefront of his mind and made a decision. He was to be laid by Nairobi in London, whence he would tell her he was to bring her back to Lansing.
The plot to this story is pretty tenuous.
(Shutup Glenn, that comment was not cogent considering the context of this post)