Gut bombs, "air biscuits", and farting during job interviews. Hmmmm
I "smell" a morning constitutional in the air!
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Gut bombs, "air biscuits", and farting during job interviews. Hmmmm
I "smell" a morning constitutional in the air!
Chris:
Nice job on the cigarette thing. I'm a smoker, and I toss 'em out the window myself. From now on, if I smoke while driving, I'm going to put them out in the beer can I've just emptied.
And if you need a way to dispose of the beer can, you just can stick it inside the jar of glue you've just finished huffing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Zip Goshboots
And then shoot that shit off your dash with the 45 you keep under the front seat.
Nah, I'll just feed it all to the pair of Pit Bulls in the back seat I just bought from Michael Vick.
Damn, Mich, glue sniffing? I don't do that. It's dangerous. But I do at least try to build alot of model airplanes everyday. Funny, I don't finish many of them. I start them, but a B-52, last I checked, isn't supposed to look like Carol Burnett eating a purple jellyfish, is it?
Hahahahaha! No. No, it is not.Quote:
a B-52, last I checked, isn't supposed to look like Carol Burnett eating a purple jellyfish, is it?
Here's my goddamn rant of the day:
A bathroom is not a place for conversations. Don't ever use your voice in one. The only exceptions to this rule is the first line of defense (ahemhem) and the second line of defense (uhh, someone's in here). Otherwise, keep your goddamn mouth shut. Even if I know and like you, if you try to say some shit to me inside the crapper, I'm going to stare daggers at you and say nothing.
If you're having a conversation with another dude, and you're both walking into a restroom, first of all that's a little weird because only chicks do that; second of all, that conversation ENDS the minute you hit the threshold or I will kill you.
Also, what kind of obvious mental defective loiters outside the doorway of a bathroom, talking on his cell phone? I like to grab their phones and toss them wherever I think the conversation would be more appropriate.
And to all those guys who think it's just swell to make noises whilst taking a piss: I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND CUT YOUR THROAT AS YOU SLEEP. There's only one thing in the world more disgusting than having to listen to some douchebag groan "oooooohhhhhh yeaaaaaaah" while he's taking a leak, and that's if he farts immediately afterward. I hope you burn in hell if you do this.
And this is why I'm not gay. This is it. I'm no big fan of women...they tend to mostly annoy the shit out of me. But you know something? I've seen a man take a goddamn sandwich into a bathroom stall and as far as I know, women don't do this. That makes my decision for me. Dudes are gross. girls slightly less so. Girls win.
awesome post
Wait, are you suggesting it's not ok to fart at the urinal? I've had this conversation with my wife and some friends before, and I wholeheartedly disagree.
I'm only mildly annoyed by people who fart at the urinal. I concede that it is, in fact, in a bathroom and if you gotta fart, the bathroom is the 2nd-best place to do it.* But don't make me endure that and make me listen to that horrible "ng...ogggggggghhhh" sound at the same time. Save it for your boyfriend, sailor.
* The very best being, of course, in the presence of a corporate vice-president.
I don't get people who want to light their farts on fire, or those who'd want to document it in Wikipedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fart_lighting