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I don't get how Rupert Murdoch took over an entire country. In Australia, you have near-100% turnout, yet the Fox-wing smear machine manages to get and keep assclowns like John Howard in power.Quote:
Originally Posted by Zip Goshboots
Never sell stupidity short.
"One can always count on the Americans to do the right thing, after having exhausted every other possibility." - Sir Winston Churchill
"It's quite difficult to get an American to do the right thing unless you also persuade him to do it for the wrong reason." - Michigane et Telegrafius
Has anyone ever really looked at the incumbency rate of Congress? As of the last election, it's 94%. That means 94% of all the legislators that are up for re-election get re-elected. People vote out incumbents for the same reason they vote people off of American Idol: "Sick of seeing them on the TV set."
When people George W. Bush into the presidency, few of them did so because they had the same political ideals, and even if they did, they were fooling themselves. No one knew very well what his real political opinions were. Anyone who actually believed they did probably jacks off to spy novels. It was a matter of "I like him, I'd have a beer with the guy." But here's the problem: very smart and dedicated people, the people you want to trust with huge responsibilities, are not like us. They are different. Those of us who are normal, slack-ass dudes, we don't see the world the same way as them. We might even think they were jerkwads if we met them, because their whole lives are about assuming the kinds of responsibilities we can only joke about, like Jack Nicholson's speech at the end of A Few Good Men. So what the fuck do I care about whether or not a candidate seems a little arrogant or prickly? All that matters is the guy's resume. I'm not a smart guy but I'll tell you that I spent long enough in school to know that if a guy is really talented, you look past his flaws.
And so people elected him, and the worries started to pile up. The long vacations, the nepotism, the general lackadaisical approach to the job...it all reveals a guy who just doesn't see the Presidency like a lot of other Presidents did. He was pretty sure that it wasn't as serious a job as everyone made it out to be. And bad things happened, and the news media (who had already decided Bush was the Mayberry sheriff who went to Washington) couldn't figure out a new narrative to explain things without making themselves look like liars. So they didn't say anything at all, and he got re-elected and the bad things got worse.
So now if we want to stop the bad things from happening, we have to sell a bullshit story to people so they don't have to do something difficult like learn how the Constitution works, or learn how to understand statistics, or learn how exponential growth models apply to population numbers and tax income. No, no, don't bother learning all that. Life is not about learning things. Life is all about a young boy who grew up with a dream to be President, and how he met the girl of his dreams and...puke.
Do I sound bitter?
I don't get why every fucking caller into a syndicated radio sports show begins by asking the host "Hey, how ya doin'?"
How do you THINK I'm doing? I'm sitting here at ESPN or Fox, babes are throwing themselves at me, I make a million bucks, I get 8 weeks of vacation a year, I go to every big sporting event, I don't have to say a damn thing all day if I don't want to, I can be wrong 99% of the time, and babes throw themselves at me. HOW DO YOU THINK I'M DOING?
Also, I don't get the two minutes of shmooze in every interview. As a listener, I really don't care if Mike Valenti partied with Larry the Cable Guy and his midget amputee bearded girlfriend two weeks ago in Cabo.
Also also, I REALLY don't get interviews with athletes who sound dumber than a rancid pancake. I realize not everybody speaks the Queen's English, but the interview with some dolt who plays for the Jacksonville Jaguars and can't spit out more than three legible words has me running for the "scan" button quicker than you can say, "So, I ran into you at Spago and didn't like your pants".
I hate how dumb rancid pancakes are. Fucking idiots.
They're even dumber than flatulent waffles.
I don't get why my balls always need a good scratch as soon as I get in front of an audience.
(Sorry, I'm just not as deep as some of you guys)
Good one. I also love that I suddenly get an uneasy stomache at job interviews and have to control the urge to fart.Quote:
Originally Posted by Waydowntownbang
It depends on the audience.
If you're a Chippendale dancer, that could be a good thing.
If you're a gorilla in the zoo, ditto.
If you are the President, maybe not so cool, unless you have an intern scratch your balls with her teef.
If you are a professional afleet, it's a job requirement.
CHRIS:
Here's a remedy to your gas problem: Don't go to job interviews, just list your perrennial flatulence on the "handicapped" section of your job application, and maybe it'll get you hired without trying to lie when asked this question: "Why do you want to work here for us?
I have nothing to add. But, please define 'flatulent waffle', it is a term that suddenly interests me as I am Belgian.Quote:
Originally Posted by Zip Goshboots
Things I don't get: Why the fuck would anyone be interested in a fucking flatulence waffle? Crepes is close enough to crap for my money.