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It's actually my ex. In the dream I had been sleeping with my dick hanging out, then we began fooling around and next thing you know I'm standing there with my dick in my hand, freaking out and screaming like a bitch.
I seriously need to go get help for all these strange dreams I have...
Don't fuck with Mexican girls.
Here's what to do to prepare for such an eventuality:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Mailman
Seriously, if you have a real reason to think there's some threat of physical violence, file a police report, get a restraining order, and keep the police on speed dial. If you think it's just a nightmare, talk with someone. Don't let some dumb bitch get in your head.
I feel like The Dude after the Nihilists come into his bathroom and tell him to give them the money or else they'd chop off his johnson...
Here's the odd part: I was sleeping on her couch as this dream came to me.
Now that is just ridiculous, Dude. Nobody is going to cut your dick off. Not if I have anything to say about it.
Ve believe in nothing!
You know what's funny? Listening to all these stories about "psycho" ex GF's, their psycho former SO's, and all the other bullshit guys put on here about the problems they have with women: And we waste our lives doing NOTHING about them and bouncing from bed to bed trying to find one that we can manufacture a tolerably dysfunctional marriage with.
Then of course, we'll all reproduce and pass this wonderful cycle onto a new generation for the idiocracy.
I don't think I'll be alive to do anything about it.
Ummmm, as far as Idiocracies go, You're in one.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Mailman
I don't get feeling guilty for laughing. Ever. At anything.
What if bukdow or Balkan actually posts something funny and you laugh?
We're not laughing with them.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Mailman
So you're saying you don't want to laugh with a Sparty?
I don't get why I'm usually at my best posting in the morning...
I think you have my situation confused with someone else. I think I was at the other extreme of "doing NOTHING" and things still got fucked up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Zip Goshboots
In the one psycho ex-bf's case, he ultimately attempted suicide after a number of breakins and threatened mutilations. From there, he went into a nuthouse, and was "cured" by putting him on such fucked-up drugs that he no longer has a recognizable personality. I was quite involved throughout that entire process, because my gf was pretty distraught. (She dumped him because he was a good-for-nothing slacker leech -- the psycho part came after.) I never thought of the psycho-ex bf as a "problem" with my gf. Anyone who's interesting has at least some baggage. I knew her as a friend for years beforehand.
In fact, my acting as "savior", almost certainly saving her life a time or two, was probably what led to things falling apart. I moved in with her far earlier and things got more serious more quickly than they would have otherwise (fear can make for some great passionate moments). She was used to being the "savior", quite unaccustomed to big dramas or needing help. Over time, she came to feel that she wanted to start fresh and make it on her own, independent of me. So, she got a new job in a new field, a new place to live on another continent (though she's back now), a new look. Ditching me for a new man was just part and parcel of it.
The Browns.
Why I've had to suffer watching the shitty Ravens on nationally broadcast games.
^ EXACTLY. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!11 I'M ABOUT TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF, OR A SMALL MOUNTAIN GOAT.
I'm done following this team.
So why are you a Raven fan instead of a Eagle fan? Come to think of it, Philly has a badass mascot but they kind suck too
That is a GREAT point. BTW, are there any college teams named the Golden Eagles?
Lions are badasses but 'we' have been cowardly the last 5 games
I'm a Leo! Too bad the Leo doesn't describe me at all and I don't believe in any of that anyway.
Must have completely missed my DWADE/Golden Eagle reference in the GE thread.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Mailman
^ Finally saw it. Now a Marquette basketball fan.
That's D-WADE!
The difference between carmel and caramel.
The difference between catsup and ketchup.
...why I just spent 20 minutes looking for a pic of Kirk Hinrich's mom (again)
Why I am awake already.
Home alone today?Quote:
Originally Posted by Glenn
I can't find one either!Quote:
Originally Posted by Glenn
Why that dude from R.E.M never shaved his eyebrow.
Why I never saw the 40 Year Old Virgin until now.
"You know how I know you're gay?"
"How?"
"You like Coldplay."
pwnt
"You know how I know you're gay?"
"How, because you're gay and you can tell who other gay people are?"
pwntagain
"You know how I know you're gay?"
"How?"
"Your dick tastes like shit."
^ also an actual quote from bukdow's wife to bukdow.
No, I don't think he would let her touch it. Girls are all, you know, icky n stuff.
Why a lot of these athletes are married to ugly azz bytchez.