Voice mail systems that read you off like a hundred options before getting to the part you can leave a message.
Our cell phones allow you to hit one to skip right to the voice mail. I hate it when it doesn't have the option.
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Voice mail systems that read you off like a hundred options before getting to the part you can leave a message.
Our cell phones allow you to hit one to skip right to the voice mail. I hate it when it doesn't have the option.
Barry Melrose
When there are pointless blocks on work computers. I can get to 99% of the internet, the only two things that have ever come up as blocked for me are the distance learning site for school (which made submitting assignments in a specific time frame very difficult if that time frame was while I was at work), and the page that displays my final grades. All I want is to see what GPA I graduated with, dammit!
Also, when you DVR the Tigers and Red Wings games with your dad so you can take your mother out for Mothers Day and the DVR cuts off the end of both.
Missed the last inning of the Tigers game and the last 3 minutes or so of the Wings. Its not much, but its really just the fact that I didn't get to see the end.
Your DVR must have known you are a Cleveland fan.
People suck - and they're fucking stupid as they:
always drive slower than the speed limit in my lane. I'm in the right hand lane cause I wanna go just over the limit. If YOU wanna drive slower than the limit stay in the left lane - that's what it's for.
order tons of shit at McDonald's when they are the car in front of me - the reason you're a fat fuck is cause you order the value meal, and the extra burger, and the apple pie, and the fucking sundae. Get the meal and fuck off
look at the menu for ages inside McDonald's. If you ain't there for breakfast you know what they have - order something already or stand to the side until you've made up your mind. I know what I'm ordering - get outta my way while you read.
stop for the amber light - it means hurry up. As a society we really need to fix this. If people start stopping on amber lights the whole fucking system will fall apart. For the morons - RED = stop, AMBER = hurry up or you might get hit, GREEN = go
always come over at the wrong time, like when I'm watching a movie. I'm on holidays. That does not give you the right to come over un-announced. I don't visit you without calling first. You might be masturbating or something. Have the fucking decency to ring me and see what I'm doing before your bored ass rocks up on my doorstep - I have a woman, unlike you - we might be fucking. That's how we got the 2 kids we already have.
always wanna talk about themselves, like they're so important. Congrats on getting your stoned ass out of bed and over to my house. No, I don't know why the TV shows on during the day suck. No I don't wanna go get something to eat. No I don't wanna watch the Wiggles. No matter how fucking stoned you might be I AM NOT - and before your dumbass got here I was happy watching the Boondock Saints. Now that you have interupted my fucking movie at least have the decency to sit there and eat my BBQ chips in fucking silence
always want to talk about their latest mobile phone. Great! You got a new phone. It has internet! It takes photos! It's an mp3 player! You can watch movies on it! You can do email! Great! Can you text people and take phone calls? Good - now Shut The Fuck Up. My movie ain't over yet
The most important part of their new phone is that they didn't use it to see if they could come over.
Pharaoh lives on the moon, where up is down, left is right and children eat jellybeans for breakfast.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pharaoh
Let's be honest, the reason people are fat fucks is because they walked in to a McDonald's, not because of what they ordered.Quote:
order tons of shit at McDonald's when they are the car in front of me - the reason you're a fat fuck is cause you order the value meal, and the extra burger, and the apple pie, and the fucking sundae. Get the meal and fuck off
Or, you could just say, "do you mind if I order ahead of you?"Quote:
look at the menu for ages inside McDonald's. If you ain't there for breakfast you know what they have - order something already or stand to the side until you've made up your mind. I know what I'm ordering - get outta my way while you read.
Where I live (not on the moon) amber means "if your tires are not already over the line, you should stop, because there's a cop staring at you right now from the church parking lot over there."Quote:
stop for the amber light - it means hurry up. As a society we really need to fix this. If people start stopping on amber lights the whole fucking system will fall apart. For the morons - RED = stop, AMBER = hurry up or you might get hit, GREEN = go
I had to admit to myself recently that there is pretty much about 0.9% of my time that I really want to spend on visitors. I think that's what it means to be an adult. Now when people come to my door, I say "sure, come on in. I needed help cleaning up the dog's vomit."Quote:
always come over at the wrong time, like when I'm watching a movie. I'm on holidays. That does not give you the right to come over un-announced. I don't visit you without calling first. You might be masturbating or something. Have the fucking decency to ring me and see what I'm doing before your bored ass rocks up on my doorstep - I have a woman, unlike you - we might be fucking. That's how we got the 2 kids we already have.
I had a friend call me up last weekend and say "hey, you want me to come over? We can get stoned and watch nature shows!" I was like, "no thanks, I'm thirty-five years old."Quote:
always wanna talk about themselves, like they're so important. Congrats on getting your stoned ass out of bed and over to my house. No, I don't know why the TV shows on during the day suck. No I don't wanna go get something to eat. No I don't wanna watch the Wiggles. No matter how fucking stoned you might be I AM NOT - and before your dumbass got here I was happy watching the Boondock Saints. Now that you have interupted my fucking movie at least have the decency to sit there and eat my BBQ chips in fucking silence
I am with you. I have had entirely enough with nerds and their stupid gadget fetishes. I honestly just want to replace my mobile phone with a Ma Bell classic mechanical 90V rotary dial. "How am I supposed to text you when all you have is a dinosaur phone?" You can't, because every text I get from you is something stupid, and I figured this would discourage you.Quote:
always want to talk about their latest mobile phone. Great! You got a new phone. It has internet! It takes photos! It's an mp3 player! You can watch movies on it! You can do email! Great! Can you text people and take phone calls? Good - now Shut The Fuck Up. My movie ain't over yet
I'm on a dad guy rampage today.
I'm with you on all these P except the Amber light. I hate when people run Amber lights and I'm sitting there waiting to turn left. People keep doing it and pretty soon you've been sitting at the same light for 20 minutes trying to turn left.
Amber means slow down and stop unless you have to slam on the breaks to stop.
Chris, if you are waiting to turn left and people keep going through the amber light just do what I do:
I edge out as far as I can without being hit and then when the light goes red I turn!
It's not illegal - technically I was already in the intersection when it changed. I couldn't just stay in the middle of the fucking intersection, could I?