The Boogeyman, ha!
Printable View
The Boogeyman, ha!
I'm tapping, this is awful.
WAIT! KAITLYN VS. EVE!
Ok... fuck it... I'm tired of this "modern" crap that they churn out week after week after week...
I said a while ago I would do my own "Be The Booker"... I lost inspiration before it started... so right here, right now TODAY I'm gonna start one and fuck this new shit they call "creative"....
Promotion will obviously be TNA... more old school than WWE, less comedy shit and easier to do since they only have one real TV show in which to push their product. Ain't no fucking way I'm booking Smackdown, Raw, NXT, Superstars and all that shit... 2 hours of SD, 3 of Raw, 1 of NXT, 1 of Superstars is just too many fucking hours IMO... especially when they push the same shit every week.
TNA isn't even called that anymore! It's called Impact Wrestling... which is fine by me... It only has one TV show... obviously titled "Impact"... 2 hours of TV, 8 quarter hours that I would have to fill and with longer matches that easy as can be to work out a good rotation.
Talent Roster, split for easy access:
Worth something =
Jeff Hardy = world champion
Rob Van Dam = X Division champion
Austin Aries
Robert Roode
James Storm
Samoa Joe
A.J Styles
Kurt Angle
Ken Anderson
Abyss/Joseph Park
Bully Ray
Mid card = some good, some bad, some ugly
Devon = TV Champion (part of Aces and Eights)
Doc (part of Aces and Eights)
Mike Knox (part of Aces and Eights)
Crimson
Gunner
D'Angelo Dinero
Doug Williams
Kenny King
Magnus
Useless kunts =
Kid Kash
King Mo (MMA dude)
Sam Shaw (Gut Check contestant)
Alex Silva (was a Gut Check contestant)
Garrett Bischoff
Jessie Godderz
Garrett Bischoff
Wes Brisco
Zema Ion
Injured kunts =
Eric Young (injured but somehow part of the Knockout Tag Champions with ODB)
Jesse Sorensen (broken neck during a match!)
Chris Sabin (injured)
Christian York (was a Gut Check Contestant)
Tag Team Division =
Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez = Tag Team Champions
Joey Ryan/Matt Morgan
Christopher Daniels (don't call him Chris)/Frank Kazaraian (they still fucking call him Kaz!)
Robbie E/Rob Terry
Knockout Division... referee = Taryn Terrell... "Head of Division" = Brooke Hogan
Tara = Knockout Champion
Sarita
SoCal Val
Taeler Henrix
Taryn Terrell
Velvet Sky
Mickie James
Miss Techmacher
Rosita
Madison Rayne
Gail Kim
ODB
Commentators = Mike Tenar, Taz, Todd Keneley... interviewers = Jeremy Borash and Christy Hemme
Fuckers running the show on TV = Hulk Hogan as the boss, Dixie Carter as the owner... Sting is just a "legend" they use whenever they want... has no "power" on TV
Eric Bischoff has no power on TV.. was "forced to leave TNA" in storyline a while back because his team lost a match... so he's out of the storylines for me.
Jeff Jarrett is in Mexico wrestling... out of TNA... not even a factor on screen despite still having some say in the company he founded
Bruce Pritchard is the "head of creative"... lots of other people have some say but he's in charge
Until now... cause I'm gonna fix this shit (if I can maintain my interest)
http://www.impactwrestling.com/roster/Wrestler-Roster
there's a link to their actual roster - kunts not emntioned by me = spanish announce team and really, who gives a fuck about them? TNA or Impact Wrestling has no spanish stars anyway... except maybe Hernandez and they've fucked him good and proper over the years and ruined whatever chance he had to be a dominant big man!
Anyway.... where they're at now?
here are the recaps for December....
http://angrymarks.com/?ArticleID=22136
http://angrymarks.com/?ArticleID=22269
http://angrymarks.com/?ArticleID=22411
http://angrymarks.com/?ArticleID=22529
And the recap for the only Impact in January so far
http://angrymarks.com/?ArticleID=22653
I'm not gonna do entire shows... that would be a long fucking process and I couldn't be arsed!
I'll just do what I always do.. outline the major storylines and make them better :)
Next PPV = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xNeIka7jjk
I find it hilarious that the trailer is all about Bully Ray... and he doesn't have a match .... yet
Matches already set in stone:
World Champ Jeff Hardy vs Austin Aries vs Robert Roode = bottom line here is that Hardy has comeback and completed the redemption story... overcome his addictions and is now on top of the Mountain... and the two former champions are gunning for their title back... Aries is the cowardly heel... Roode the smart motherfucker... hard to see Hardy losing here when the poster for the next PPV features Aries and Hardy.... with Hogan inbetween them!
Tag Champs Joey Ryan/Matt Morgan vs Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez.... these teams have faced off before so we'll just call this the rubber match...
Christopher Daniels v James Storm... seems they're plugging Storm into this feud because he was doing nothing and to allow Angle to have time off... plus we can't watch Styles vs Daniels forever
Sting vs D.O.C from Aces and Eights... Sting just returned so there ain't no fucking way he's losing here... just another opportunity for Aces and Eights to attack some kunt
Christian York vs Kenny King/Zema Ion... this is how far the X-Division has fallen... they had no contenders for RVD's title so they hold 2 matches and get 2 winners... then have them square off for the right to challenge RVD on the PPV... the difference here is that York or King/Ion will have to wrestle twice... and RVD doesn't
might have to change that :)
so... after reading the recaps here's where we go with this shit on the PPV:
Jeff Hardy has to come out of the PPV as champion... Roode takes the loss because at the next PPV it's Aries vs Hardy inside a cage.... how do you get to that? The match goes 25 minutes, ends fair and square with Hardy pinning Roode.... Hardy gets the closing shot in victory... the redemption theme is finished....
Christian York has been built up as something of value and so has King... so after Ion loses to King on the tv show you have York complain that RVD doesn't have to wrestle twice... but he does... and King does too. York can correctly point out that the Champion already has the odds in his favour because he can only lose the belt via pin or submission... now he's getting a rest too? Fuck that... York demands RVD wrestle twice... but it would have to be a non-title match.... so we have RVD in a non-title bout against Ion on the PPV... that makes it fair....
IF York (or King) was to lose to RVD on the PPV the whole bullshit thing of having those contender matches prior to it would essentially make those matches pointless - you'd have to do it again to find a new #1 contender if York (or King) lost... so York wins the belt from RVD on the PPV... how do you get there? York vs King takes place first... York wins... RVD vs Ion takes place next... King attacks RVD and injures his knee.... Ion loses by DQ... RVD then has to face York... who naturally takes adavantage of the injury to RVD and gets the win + the title... Losing this way protects RVD from losing to a young kid with little build up AND positions King as a kunt... why did he attack RVD? Was it sour grapes after losing to York? Why, why why? Now you have York vs RVD, King vs RVD... and we can get to King vs York with ease!
James Storm vs Christopher Daniels... assuming I'm right and they're simply putting Storm here so Kurt Angle can rest then what happens here is obvious.... Styles and Kazarian interfere during the match... this leads to tag team matches... and since Storm and Styles are basically big time losers in TNA (fail on the grand stage over and over) Daniels and Kazarian as heels would love pointing that out... obviously the losing only will last so long... but we're talking months here with Storm vs Daniels, Styles vs Kazarian... and tag matches. At worst we get great matches out of this
Tag Team Champs... Ryan and Morgan beat Chavo and Hernandez... can we just move along cause this is fucked? Not going to waste important PPV time bringing in their next challengers... oh yes I can... after Ryan pins Chavo and they retain the belts the camera cuts to the stage where we see 2 fairly impressive looking dudes...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tommy_MercerandQuote:
After graduation Mercer joined the United States Army in order to fund his college studies.[7] He ended up serving for five years, which included two tours of Iraq in the 101st Airborne Division as part of Operation Iraqi Freedom.[4][7]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gunner_(wrestler)so they have that in common :)Quote:
Anyway these 2 dudes wouldn't have names... just face paint... and no, not red, white and blue... think Road Warriors/Demolition/Powers of Pain... but without the gay leather shit :)
Ryan and Morgan turn and see these 2 dudes... point and start jawing... but before they can leave the ring the facepainted dudes simply turn their backs on the heel champions and walk behind the curtain...
PPV matches so far: Main Event, Tag Titles, Storm vs Daniels, York vs King, RVD vs Ion, RVD vs York...
6 matches down... still got the big one with Sting vs. D.O.C which makes 7... and still no Bully Ray even though the preview is all about him... and no knockouts...and nothing with Ken Anderson who may or may not be joining Aces and Eights shortly...
Ok... so where is everyone?
Angle is resting cause the guy needs to rest...
Abyss/Joseph Park is in OVW and the deal there is that Park is "training" to be a wrestler..don't get me started on this.
I think D'Angelo Dinero is injured cause they don't use him on TV... dude is fucking injury prone
I believe Doug Williams is in OVW training fuckers... and helps out as an "agent/producer" of matches... he's an awesome wrestler though not being used
Magnus might be in Japan "learning" more over there... he's not gonna be on the PPV because I'm not gonna sqeeze him into a situation that sucks for him long term.
Robbie E and Rob Terry don't need to be on PPV - not good enough and while Terry is OVW champion you can't say that on TNA/IW PPV... maybe they can wrestler some bums on the pre-show?
There we go: Garrett Bischoff + Wes Brisco (with Samoa Joe in their corner) beat Robbie E and Rob Terry on the pre-show thing they always have... having Joe with the young dudes furthers the idea that they are all in an alliance with Kurt Angle to stop Aces and Eights...
but before we get to Sting vs D.O.C we have to have the women's match....
Tara is the Champion... so she has to defend the title... but against who....from the last recap Mickie James and Miss Techmacher defeated Gail Kim and Tara when Mickie pinned Gail... so Mickie James gets the title shot vs Tara here... and TNA/IW tries to get another comeback story going and gives Mickie the vitcory here.. yeah a title change on the PPV...
Let's be honest: no one gives a fuck about women's wrestling... we wanna watch hot chicks walk around in next to nothing and if they can put on a reasonable match without botching every spot in it then that's just gravy... you either need to hire talented wrestlers or just stupid bitches like WWE... TNA is trying to hire both but for whatever reason they're not using the division as much as they used to... I'll fix that over the next 4 tv shows I "write"... but fuck wasting time on the PPV to continue the "champ vs someone" roundabout they've got going on...
and I already introduced a new tag team that will be powerful on this PPV... they'll be getting title shots for no reason other than they're new and it's a fresh match... can't do that with the women as well... that's just lazy booking to do it twice on the same show
So here we go... the big battle, the Aces and Eights storyline... how the fuck do you fix this with just 3 episodes of TV and a PPV match?
Easy lol
Ideally you'd plant the seeds of doubt in the fans prior to the PPV... Sting just might not win... he might get fucking destroyed... might get broken in half.... end up in hospital... maybe this is his last TNA/IW appearance ever and he's heading to WWE for the WrestleMania payday he's never had....maybe Aces and Eights has taken shit to a whole other level... they have someone else coming in... he'll go over Sting and be a new star... maybe one of Sting's friends has turned... playing double agent... we don't know who... but it's someone... FUCK!
That should be the aim of TNA/IW over the next 3 episodes of Impact... because there is not a wrestling fan anywhere that beleives Sting is going to lose to D.O.C reagrdless of how many fuckers interfere or what objects are used (hammers? WTF?)
The last recap is the jump off point.... and Bully Ray got suspended on that show...
Next Impact = Sting begs Hogan to lift the suspension of Bully Ray... "we need him against Aces and Eights"... Hogan relents but demands to speak to Ray next week about dating his daughter (wtf?)
Also on the show Aces and Eights continue to recruit Ken Anderson.... and we get a clip from the clubhouse of the leader talking about the new recruit they've got coming to the PPV...
Next Impact = Bully and Hogan have a convo, shit gets heated because Bully objects to Hogan demanding he stay away from Brooke cause she's a grown woman that make her own choices... Hogan shoves Bully... Sting gets between them... shit not going well for the good guys... we also get another clip from the clubhouse of Aces and Eights talking about a new recruit... while on the show they deliver an ultimatum to Ken Anderson . make up your mind next week... or we'll lay you out too!
"Go Home" Impact (last episode before the PPV)... Hogan and Bully Ray sit down again... shit gets heated again... Hogan tries to shove Bully away but Brooke sticks her ugly face in the way and takes a hit from her Daddy! BOOM! Bully Ray is pissed the fuck off now... he shoves Hogan against the wall...Sting gets between them... Bully heads to the ring and starts ranting "Screw Hogan, screw TNA, screw everyone. I've worked my arse off these last 2 years and you clowns just use me! I'm done with this crap, I'm freakin' awesome, the crowd loves me, Brooke loves me and I'm going to do what I should have done a long ****ing time ago... I'm out! Taking my TWITTAH MACHINE to New..."
Sting is out with a mic "Ray, Ray, please wait... You can't go... not now. We need you more than ever... come on Ray... I asked for your help... I asked for Hulk to lift your suspension... come on man... I need you here"
Bully Ray "Didn't anyone ever tell you to be careful what you wish for Stinger? It's too late now... things gone too far...."
Lights go out... when they come back on Sting is knocked out in the ring... so is Bully Ray.... and Ken Fucking Anderson is standing over them with a stun gun in his hands!
The rest of Aces and Eights come out... Anderson basks in the afterglow of his awesome deed... the screen flickers....we cut to a scene where the leader of Aces and Eights sends Anderson his congratulations from the clubhouse... before adding "there is another... we will meet this Sunday...."
the screen flickers again and and we cut to a TNA/IW graphic for the Genesis PPV... you know the ones with the title, date, place and info shit on them.... but the screen flickers some more and now we're looking at clips of bod ybags being dumped into unmarked graves... lots of body bags... lots of unmarked graves....the screen flickers some more and we return to the original PPV graphic... only this time the word Genesis isn't there... instead it says "The End of the Beginning"....
So here we are at the PPV... the Aces and Eights storyline has been set up... you have the commentators run through WTF is going on... Anderson is "evil"... has joined Aces and Eights.... Bully Ray hasn't been seen all day... is he even here? How is he after the Stun Gun attack on Imapct? Sting is fuming... pissed at Hogan, disappointed in Bully Ray, out to get Anderson and not fucking happy no one came out to chase Aces and Eights off as Impact went off the air :)
D.O.C vs Sting is the typical Sting match... kind of talented big man gets to pound Sting down and around ringside as Sting has his usual hope spots but with D.O.C in control the action is boring as fuck because his offense consists of chokes, back breakers, clotheslines... and with the crowd bored out of their mind the creative team (ME!) decide to send the rest of Aces and Eights down to ringside... so out walk Devon, Mike Knox, Ken Anderson and a masked dude.... obviously this brings out Wes Briscoe, Garrett Bischoff and Samoa Joe...
Sting is tossed to the outside... and this starts the brawl... fuckers fighting everywhere... kunts doing the usual shit... chairs are being used.... they pair off:
Wes Briscoe and the masked dude.... Garrett Bischoff and Devon.... Mike Knox and Samoa Joe... those guys are fighting up the aisle and on the stage...
Anderson and D.O.C vs Sting stays in and around the ring...
but there's a commotion in the crowd... WTF? Bully Ray is rushing through the crowd and jumping over the barricade... Bully Ray is here! He's going to help Sting! Bully Ray IS a good guy! Yippee! Yay!
Thank the Lord!... what a relief.... now it's even... 5 vs 5...
but then Wes Briscoe goes down like a bag of shit... DDT'd on the stage... he's out like a light... the masked dude then sneaks up behind Garrett Bischoff and nails him with the Hangman's neckbreaker.... then the masked man clips Samoa Joe... so Mike Knox can power bomb him off the stage through a table...
Oh! My! Gawd! It's 5 on 2....
but the masked man doesn't care about numbers... he's here to kill kunts dead.... he heads down the aisle towards the ring... Bully Ray tosses D.O.C over the top rope.... Sting tosses Anderson...masked man does not give a fuck... he slides into the ring and clips Ray from behind... Sting turns around and gets hit with a vicious right, left, right combo... Sting goes down to one knee.... Masked man knees Sting square in the face... Sting is on the canvas, in agony, holding his face... Bully Ray struggles to his feet but before he can rise he gets drilled right between the eyes with another knee....
the masked man stands alone in the ring.... and takes off his own fucking mask!
BOOM!
Who is it? Who is the masked man?
Karl Fucking Anderson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFCPV6zvC8U
https://www.google.com.au/search?q=k...Q&ved=0CEAQsAQ
00002571.jpg
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karl_Anderson
Were you expecting someone famous?
Let's get real... no casual fan is gonna know who the fuck he is... but no casual fans would purchase a TNA PPV anyway... only diehards would spend that money or download it or stream it...and they fucking know who he is... and that's the point... to deliver something great, on PPV... something of a surprise... something to kick start the whole fucking Aces and Eights thing... and TNA as a company... cause whether you like it or don't like it Karl Anderson is the best thing going today Whooooooo!
Anyway, back to my PPV... Karl Anderson stands in the middle of the ring... Sting laying knocked the fuck out on one side... Bully Ray on the other... and Karl has a microphone:
"Ladies and gentlmen, allow me to introduce myself. My name... is Karl Anderson! I have been sent here to rescue you. Do not believe the lies that are said about me... or my brothers.... we are here to save you... incompetence shall not be tolerated... failure shall not be accepted... we, the members of Aces and Eights are here to return TNA to it's former glory... I am only one man.... but my mission is clear... and tonight I begin...."
Karl Anderson drops the microphone then turns around and fucking destroys Sting... seriously lays waste to him... it's fucking brutal!... when he's done with Sting he turns to Bully Ray... and lays waste to him too... brutal fucking strikes...
and then Karl Anderson turns his attention to D.O.C..... he lays him the fuck out with a superkick to the head... the other members of Aces and Eights stand their ground.... no one dare move... this guy is for real! He's an asskicking machine... but after finishing with Sting, Ray and D.OC. Karl reaches out to shake hands with his namesake Ken Anderson... who boldly steps forward and accepts the offer.... Mike Knox is next and while he hesitates he does still shake the hand of Karl Anderson.... Devon doesn't hestiate... and neither does Karl...
As Devon went for the hand shake Karl went for the kill! With a violent flurry of elbows, knees and punches... Devon is backed up against a turnbuckle... held up by the ropes as Karl Anderson destroys his internal organs with some seriously wicked looking strikes... Devon slips down in the corner... blood now coming from his mouth and nose.... Finally Karl Anderson is finished....
"The words of our leader are true... let the pain of our 2 brothers be a lesson to the rest of us... failure is not an option..."
Karl Anderson wipes the blood from his hands on Devon's bandana laying in the ring...
"Come, ladies and gentlemen... rejoice in our victory here today.... many men have been punished... many more will be punished... and we all shall see the day... when this company is the brightest light in this business"...
As Anderson talks EMTs come down to the ring... Karl Anderson pays them no mind.. they're not what he's here for... he looks around the ring at the carnage he's caused... the carnage he inflicted... 4 broken and bloddy bodies laying in pools of their own blood.... security are out now... Hulk Hogan is out.... Dixie Carter is out... she never leaves Hogan's side... Karl Anderson attempts to introduce himself to her and Hogan... but they back away in fear of this man... this monster...
the EMTs stretcher out Devon and D.O.C.... and we'd cut to something else...
FUCKING BOOM!